Welcome to Gaia! ::

So, I'll start off with some basic information about myself. I'm a male, 15, a junior in high school, and I have the most screwed-up family of anyone I know. From when I was about 2 to until I was 14, I lived with my mom and my little brother, who is three years younger than I am. We both have different dads, so I guess we're technically half-brothers. My parents had been divorced since before I could remember. I would spend every other weekend at my dad's house. Doesn't seem so bad now, does it? Well, back then it wasn't. It wasn't until I was 12 that I realised some very important things. My dad was, and still is, an alcoholic. My mom was unable to hold down a steady job and a house for more than a year at a time, since she was a drug addict. The three of us always ended up in a new house every 2 or 3 years, and they got progressively worse. Finally, when I was about 14, my mom got a job that I think she still has today. She goes to different states and sells perfume and cologne for a company, in things called trade shows. (It's basically a bunch of companies sending representatives to sell all kinds of products. It's held in a large meeting hall or expo center, and people pay an admission fee.) It was this time that she would be gone for weeks at a time out of the state, then be back for only a few days. While I never saw her, I felt good that she at least had a good job. Anyway, on Spring Break of 2004, my mom and her boyfriend/sales partner gave me and my brother a proposition. They were going down to Florida to sell, and they wanted us to come along. They told us it would be for one week, then we'd go back. One 25-hour drive later, we were in Fort Myers, Florida. It was a great time. We worked alongside them in the trade shows, and had a lot of fun. However, after the first week, their boss told them that he wanted them to go to another city in Florida, where there would be another trade show. Then, there was another after that. We ended up staying down there for 3 and a half weeks, until my brother and I had to fly back unaccompanied. I had missed so much school, I had to have a hearing about it and almost got kicked out. My mom and her partner stayed down there for 2 more weeks, until they came back. I moved in with my dad, since by this point, we lived with my brother's dad, who was the most insufferable jerk you'd ever have the misfortune to meet, and I couldn't tolerate him anymore. A word about my dad: He was rarely drunk on weekdays from Monday to Thursday, but after work on Friday, he got totally smashed. He would remain that way the whole weekend. Anyway, my mom didn't sell on the road throughout the whole year. She did that from April to November, then from the day after Thanksgiving to the end of December, she capitalized on the Christmas rush by working at the local mall. Now, this is where things get complicated. Since the third grade, I have had a friend named Samantha. We have remained close ever since then, and I was practically a part of their family. Her father was a carpenter, and was always looking for a new business venture. In October of 2005, they bought a new house and moved. As a favor to me and my mom, he let my mom live in their old one. She payed rent and everything, of course, but he was fairly lenient about it. So, she lived there, and my little brother and I would come and visit her whenever we could. Around January of this year, my dad got drunk. I mean falling-down-standing-up drunk. I noticed when his drinking started, and tried to call my mom to see if I could spend the night at her house until he stopped. He has a girlfriend, who might as well be his wife since they and her children have lived together since I was 3, and I had to practically fight her to get the phone, since she was drunk, too. The only phone in the house was my dad's cell phone. I called several times, but there was no answer. She got severely pissed at me, and she and my dad started fighting. I ran up the stairs (I slept in the basement; nice and cool) just in time to see my dad pounding his girlfriend's head into the floor repeatedly. I ran out the back door and down the street, where his girlfriend's daughters were hanging out with some friends. I told them what had happened, and they rushed over to stop it. I found my dad's cell phone and called my aunt for a ride. My aunt seems to be the only part of my dad's family besides my grandmother, who's dead now, who was actually sane. I went to my mom's house and stayed there. The next day, my dad was passed out in bed and I took all my things to my mom's house. I stayed there; I went to school on weekdays and worked with her on the weekends at the mall. Hey boyfriend/partner had also moved in with her. It was pretty fun. Anyway, things were great for about 4 months or so. Then, Samantha's dad had to evict my mom- I learned she hadn't payed rent on the house since December, and it was April. I went the only place I could go: I moved in with Samantha and her parents. Her parents got legal guardianship of me, and now I'm a member of their family. I still have some loose ends to tie up, though. I haven't seen or talked to my mom since she was evicted. I don't even know if she's alive. A few months ago she was sent to the hospital, and nobody told me until 3 weeks afterward; it turns out she didn't want me to know. That's the last anybody heard of her. I want to find her, but I don't know what to to. I'm going to the mall, today, where she always worked during this time of the year. I don't know what to do, though. I'm in three minds about this. One third of me thinks, if I find my mom, I just want to cry on her shoulder and go back to the way it was. Another third of me thinks it would be better if I never saw her again. The last part of me wants to confront her, and make her understand all the pain she's put me through. I just don't know what to do. Anybody have any ideas?

I know what you feel like...but if you tell her how much she's put you through she's most likely to get pissed, and hurt you in some way. I think living with your Friend is the best thing at this point, but of course it's your decision.