“My Religion Isn’t Evil” (From Seventeen Magazine February 2005)
Jessica, 18 has found her faith- but lost her family in the process,
As told to Zoe C. Courtman

Our family moved to Colorado when I was 13, and got really involved at the evangelical Christian Church we joined. My parents signed me up for Bible study so I could get to know our faith better. But what I ended up learning in that class was how intolerant our church was- it railed against homosexuals and taught us that people of different religions were damned. This wasn’t the Christianity I’d practiced before- how could my parents really want me to be a part of this?

New Horizon
I kept going to church with my parents because I felt like I didn’t have any choice. But every time I sat in the pew and listened to the pastor talk about who’s going to hell, I’d feel empty inside.
One day, when I was 15, I found a book called Exploring Wicca at the bookstore. Since I was doubting my own religion, I was curious to read it. By the time I finished that book that afternoon, I wanted to start practicing Wicca. But I also knew that my parents would never approve of that.

Different Path
I didn’t know how to tell my parents about my interest in Wicca, so I kept it quiet. After church I’d go home to my room, close the door, and secretly practice spells and rituals. And as I did that, this calming energy would flow through me. It was the feeling I’d always imagined I should be feeling when I was at church- but never did.
After three months I felt committed to Wicca and decided I had to be open about it. But I was still scared to actually tell my parents. So one day I came home wearing a pentacle- a Wiccan symbol of harmony- when my mother saw me and started seething. “Take that off and give it to me right now,” she demanded. “What’s wrong with it?” I asked. “It’s evil,” she said, as she grabbed it from me. I was livid. “Why are you trying to push your religion on me?” I screamed. She was silent. “I don’t want to go to your church anymore,” I yelled. “Well, if you don’t, you’ll lose your car, your family, and all the things that go with it,” she said calmly.

Deep Divide
It was hard, but I found such a solace in Wicca that I couldn’t give it up for my parents. And I hoped that they’d eventually accept it- I mean, it was a part of me. But I was wrong. I only escaped the tension this year, when I left home for college. I still call my mom because I love her, but sometimes she’ll say things like, “I’m sorry the devil has taken over this void in your life.” It makes me so sad, but I hope my prayers will mend this rift between us.


Footer: What is Wicca?
Wiccans worship male and female deities; empower themselves through magic; and celebrate nature’s cycles. To learn more about Wicca, go to witchvox.com.