Welcome to Gaia! ::

First of all hi to everyone I haven't seen in so long and have missed a lot. More has gone on in my life in the last year then in the last several but I'm going to cut right to the chase since the whole story would be very long.

It looks like I may be the step mother of a very smart little boy named Orion. My boyfriend, Rick, became a father 5 years ago. He had already broken up with the girl and moved out of the city when she announced the pregnancy. They met again and decided that it would be for the best that she get an abortion. 9 months later he got a call from the hospital announcing his son's birth. Needless to say he was shocked. He went to see the baby but was so anxious to get the mother out of his life that he hasn't seen him since.

This has caused a bone of contention in Rick's family ever since. Rick's parents have been divorced since he was about 3 so don't have a lot of contact. Rick's mother overheard some of the mother's friends talking just after Orion was born about the fact that Rick was not the father and that the mother had been cheating on him. She is convinced that Orion is not Rick's baby. Rick's father has seen Orion a couple of times of years and brought him pictures of Rick as well as getting pictures of him for Rick. He is sure that Rick is Orion's father.

A DNA test has never been done and I know that would probably help the situation but Rick is confident enough that Orion is his and that is enough for me. And the last piece of background information if that the most recent information we had about Orion was that he was living with his mother's parents as she had proved not able to care for a child.

Now onto the present. A week ago we get home to a message from a social worker stating that she needed Rick to call as soon as possible. That's a great message to get on a Friday night from a government worker who isn't going to be around until Monday. So we get ahold of her on the Monday and she states that Orion and his little sister have been taken away from their mother. Little sister? In mother's care? Alrighty.

So it seems that the mother has had another baby recently. Things were going well with the new baby so Orion was allowed back into her custody. The situation had been monitored and apparently not gone so well. She faxed over the documentation of removal which showed little sister as 'father unknown' and documented things like yelling, neglect and alcohol abuse problems with the mother. Needless to say Rick knew none of this and was very upset by this news.

Between Rick and I we have built ourselves a very stable life. We are going to be moving back to the city were they live for employment reasons but now we have additional reasons to go. Mother's parents aren't willing to take on two children and neither is Rick's father and his wife. The kids are with foster care right now.

Rick and I are meeting with the social worker this Monday. She is somewhat shocked by the fact that we are even taking an interest since he hasn't been involved in the last 5 years but he is finally in a place where this is a possibility and we can contribute to his life in a good way.

Anyway I guess this was really just a vent but I would love to hear feedback or opinions or anything. Thanks all and I missed you guys while I was away.

Honestly, I don't see the point of a DNA test. Even if he isn't Rick's son, he is still a child in need of help and, as you've said, you are now in a position where you may be able to help him. Because of Rick's possible fatherhood, this child has been thrown in front of your face. And, while you don't have a responsibility to care for him, I say go for it. Be the parents he needs to have, even if you aren't biologically related.

The only thing I would worry about is the mother. Will she demand visitation rights? Will this give her a means back into Rick's life? Will she cause trouble for the two of you? Be clear on her legal position in all of this before you solve any papers.

Yes, for ANY legal matters, you are going to need a DNA test regardless. Yes, be there for him, but if you want this done right, the courts are going to require this.

I, myself, came into a relationship with my husband having a son from when he was 17. He is now 13 and it was really a troubled time with the mother and my husband. In the past 5 years it just came to the point where they are on decent terms.

They went through a lot of crap. A guy she was with was abusing his son, he called child protective services, she got him back and tried to keep him away. It really hurt my husband and he had a couple years he just tried to ignore the problem and pain. It's still rough at times because we cannot work on legal visitation (have to be present for trial, we're out of state due to military).

Definitely talk with a lawyer for the legalities. I think it's great you two are working to help this boy out and as a stepmom, I can understand a lot of what you're going through. I hope it all works out for you guys!