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 Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:54 pm
If I'm stepping on anyone's toes, please let me know. ;~; (Although I checked the guild and I don't think I am...) Once I have gotten enough information up on my concept, please critique it! I'd really like to know what people think of the idea. Thanks~! heart
I might change a lot of this info around, as it's just a concept right now. x3 A lot of it was typed at 3/5am in the morning. D: *is crazy* This character was originally planned to be from World A, with no fantastical things to her. I thought it would be more fun to go with this way, though. xDDD;; Also, it seemed like a lot of people were trying to make World As just so they could try and be non-stereotypical, but it turned out a lot of other questers wanted World A, as well. So I decided to change a few things up and make it a World B. <3
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:55 pm
Character Name: Giselle
Title: The Femme Fatale
World: B; In present time of her world._________The place of Giselle's creation is Melodia. Her motherland is almost exactly like Earth, the only thing that differentiates the two is that Melodia has fantastical beings and architecture within it. The dominant race is human, then merfolk, and then an elven race. Succubi/Incubi are existent, although they're so rare that they aren't considered a race. (You'd think that they'd be rampantly appearing from all the corrupting dreams and thoughts people have...) The same applies to the angels of the sky realm, as well. Succubi and Angels do have wings, although they choose not to wield them openly. (Succubi prefer not to use them because they take the appearance of a normal girl to lure men, and if they had their wings then the man would be wary of her.) They prefer to take the guise of humans when walking about on land.
The system of government within Melodia is monarchial. It is ruled by Queen Cordella Sholanen Yoluria XVIIth, a ruler who oversees her world with a fair hand. Whilst under her rule, there have been no wars or famine. Melodia once had a civil war, but the records of it are hard to come by. There is only one large continent on the planet, but Melodia has several different realms. The land realm, the ocean realm, the sky realm, and the hades realm. Humans and elves dwell within the land realm, merfolk in the ocean, angels in the sky, and succubi/incubi within Hades. Although Queen Cordella is considered the 'main' ruler of Melodia, all the realms are overseen by their own rulers. Lorelei for the ocean, Rulonne for the sky, and Scyffiro for hades. Merfolk cannot stray out of the water, humans and elves cannot go to the Sky/Hades realm, although residents of the Sky/Hades realm can travel through any of the realms they want.
The geography, like Earth, varies greatly. It can be arid and sandy, tall and mountainous, forested or with jungles, grasslands and praries, urban, or even ocean shores. The architecture for the land realm is very regal and majestic; all of the cities are heavily populated and congested with gigantic buildings. The underwater realm's architecture is constructed from coral and seashells, but there aren't very many cities within the ocean. (The merfolk race is starting to die out, sadly.) Not much is known about the Sky and Hades' realm architecture, because only their respective races can visit them. Melodia has modern clothing, modern appliances, and even modern slang. (Oh, yes, Melodians speak English.)
History: Giselle is a succubus who is the manifestation of many lustful dreams, whom was formed several hundred years ago. She originally had the body of a young girl, but within 10 years she matured into a voluptuous young woman, and has retained that body ever since. Giselle has had to live off of the wanton dreams of many men for as long as she can remember, a (sometimes) disgusting job she dislikes. She slowly eats away their spirits, and eventually the man dies of exhaustion. Giselle feels no repentance for all the death she has caused, because she feels it is just like people killing off animals for sustenance.
It is important to note that she was fully developed by the age of 10, and will most likely keep her beautiful being until her death. She doesn't have a single strand of grey hair, never even thought of wrinkles, and basically doesn't age. Once Giselle was fully mature, she was informed of her duty: To be the concubine of a powerful demon.
[/reworking]
Personality: Giselle isn't particularly hateful or malevolent, but she is very egotistical. It's not that she's trying to be hurtful, she just comes across that way. She will, however, be rude to other women. Whenever she's in the prescence of another 'pretty' girl, she can't help but feel it's some sort of competition. When she's set on something she wants, she is very assertive and will get whatever it is, no matter what it takes.
She can also be quick-witted and sassy when angered, and has no trouble thinking of retorts. She has an aura of condescendence about her, and tends to believe her opinion is the only right one. Anyone who disagrees with her is wrong, because she's right. She will listen to intelligent arguments, but generally believes that she isn't wrong. Anything she says should be adhered to, or atleast that's what she believes. (Which is right because it's her opinion!)
As stated before, Giselle is very narcissistic and vain. She has a hard time believing that anyone could dislike her, even though she is so quick to judge others. She sometimes comes across as being an airhead at times, because she speaks before thinking. This often puts her in a low position that makes her seem stupid, but she is very intelligent. Giselle is quick to blame others, especially women.
She is completely gracious around men, and takes it upon herself to make them happy. (No, not that way!) She is very kindly and pleasant to be around when she isn't focused on something she wants. She is an active flirt around most men, and prefers to act coy. Giselle loves to seduce men, although she never goes too far with her flirting games.
Giselle is also very secretive about many things. She isn't very open with the fact that she's a Succubus, mainly because she doesn't want people to know her true age. Another secret is that she can eat like an animal yet never gain weight, a habit she isn't very proud of. Although she can keep her own secrets, she is horrible about staying hush-hush with other's. Giselle can be a gossip when she hears a rumor that intrests her, or when she wants to take revenge on someone.
A few of her pet peeves are swearing (she just can't stand it for some reason, even though she's done worse things), diets, old people, other pretty women, competition, losing, and staying in once place for too long. Things that interest her are flirting, men, fashion trends, winning, gossip, enhancing her beauty, gifts, binging in secret, and crescent moon nights.
Appearance: Giselle has the semblance of a young and unearthly beauty, who looks as if she's around 20 years old- but that's just what she wants you to think. She stands around 5'2", and refuses to divulge any information about her weight. (But most speculate that she's somewhere around 110.)
Giselle takes pride in her delicate locks, which haven't come close to a pair of scissors for the past decade or so. As such, her flowing hair reaches just past her ankles, which enables her to hide various tiny things within it. It is naturally wavy like an ocean, possessing an elegant shade of burgundy. Another detail of her hair she takes pride in is her bangs, which have grown past her chin and now coil around themselves.
Her frame appears to be very frail and dainty, but in actuality it is very sturdy. A perfect word to describe her body is curvaceous. She embraces her shapely breasts, curved hips, smooth legs, and overall luscious physique. Giselle utilizes all of these comely details to her advantage, and often times a man of weak mind and will cannot stand against this bewitching vixen.
As for her complexion, it is a creamy white and is clear of any acne. The pigment of all her skin, however, is a pasty white. Her face is well-rounded and proportionate, with a pair of luminous emerald-green eyes perfectly placed onto it. A petite nose and ample lips add to the charm of her face, as well. Giselle's ears are normally not visible because of her thick hair. But when they are visible, they are petite and rounded.
Giselle has always kept up with all the fashion trends for every century she's lived in, and hasn't showed any signs of stopping anytime soon. She simply adores gowns with frills and laces, and occasionally wears bows on the back of her head. (This seems to be the only accessory she's willing to put in her hair, for some reason.) Billowy and graceful dresses are some of her favorites, too.
Describe their talent/skill/act:
Stage 1: "Candy" Kisses -- For a price, you too can have a tasty kiss from the lovely Giselle!
Giselle possesses a somewhat strange skill that unknowing men seem to enjoy. She can secrete saliva that men find absolutely irresistible, but in exchange for the sweet smooch, she compensates a few seconds of their life that she then uses for energy. It is equivalent to smoking a cigarette in terms of healthiness. (Yuck!) It's a quick and easy way for her to make a small amount of energy. Of course, the men aren't aware of this exchange- which is probably better. Women, if they want a kiss for whatever reason, cannot taste this sugared liquid, but rather, it leaves a bitter taste. The same applies for children, even young males, as they cannot taste it until puberty. This is what she does to pull her weight around before she can actually do anything on stage. She brings in some money for the circus, and she also gains some precious energy.
Stage 2: [Undecided Name] -- A dazzling show in which Giselle works her bewitching skills.
Do not attend if: You are prone to seizures, Have heart problems, Have a fear of fire and/or darkness. Side effects may include: Fatigue, Loss of Appetite, Depression, and bewilderment. Parents strongly cautioned. (In very fine print, of course. 8D)
Now that Giselle has fragments of her original powers returned to her, she can utilize them for a magnificent performance. With her enhanced succubus charm, she can change a male's perception of her appearance. Giselle becomes alluring to the point where men of weak minds will do anything she says, thus she performs like a hypnotist. She'll have men do absurd things like doing the 'chicken' dance, confessing their love to inanimate objects, or just make them look like her slaves sworn to fealty. If they are madly in love with another women, or have a strong mind, however, they will not fall under her enchantment. Giselle can only control one man per showing, and only steal a small amount of their soul.
Stage 3: [Undecided Name] -- [Undecided Info.]
Giselle has recovered a large amount of her abilities from the demon, and now adds some new attractions to the act. In addition to all of the original 'stunts' from the last show, Giselle now demonstrates complete control over the men she puts under her spell. Rather than just one, she can now control up to 3 men at the same time. "Who loves me the most? Prove to me that you care about me" She'll cry at them, in which they'll do various crazy stunts to impress the vixen. (Only in vain, sadly) They will do things like jump through hoops of fire, brawl eachother, and even try to smooth talk her with their best pick-up lines. Although her powers are much more stronger, she cannot take enough of their soul to the point of death. They will feel extremely exhausted for the next few weeks, however.
[Note: Giselle's show sort of works like hypnosis. She uses some sort of succubi enchantment in which men's thinking is blocked off and their subconscious mind is established, thus it appears to be more or less hypnosis to the crowd. This makes her appear that she is a hypnotist, and emphasizes her supernaturality a bit, as well. It gives her a slight degree of variety from the kissing booth. For the sake of clarity it's hypnotism, okay? xD]
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:58 pm
Random stuff goes here. xDD;; Just so everyone knows, I'm not going to have Giselle work her charms on all the men. xDD I'm not stupid enough to try and control other RPers. (Although, I'm gonna have a reason as to why she doesn't control her fellow performers.)
Thanks to:
+Silverah -- She gave me a good critique. x3 Plus, I originally was going to have Giselle's talents be controlling men, but I thought that sounded weird. I changed it to something dealing with whips, but after Silverah suggested 'human taming' I changed it back. xDD;; Much love~ heart
+Des -- She gave a good critique. x3
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:46 am
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 1:39 pm
Well, here goes nothing.
She strikes me as a little bit of a Mary-Sue. So she's beautiful - OK. So she can charm the pants off any man she meets - OK. So she's an evil demon locked away by an angel? Whatchousay???
I also fail to see where lion taming fits in with her natural abilities and talents. Maybe revise her history so there is more of a logical connection? People don't just go from the kissing booth to the lion cage overnight, after all.
You've got a very strong base for her, and maybe my Mary-Sue call is out of place to you, but there is certainly some things that need to be revised about this character.
Over all, however, she looks like she has a good start.
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 6:30 pm
Yes, I see exactly what you're saying. I'm gonna rework her background and skills now, thanks for the critique. To be honest all of that sounded fine in my head at the time, but now that I read it again it sounds kind of stupid... xD;;
Although, I have to ask... Did you mean her being seductive was Mary Sue-ish? Because it's kind of hard to get around that, considering she's a Succubus. xD If she wasn't pretty, then I don't think she'd be able to seduce many men. Or did you mean her personality was Mary Sue?
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 9:02 pm
I meant that maybe you've given her one too many amazing things about her. I know it's fun to create a character who is pretty AND magical AND special AND talented, but you have to draw a line somewhere or other people get annoyed. I like the idea of a succubus in a kissing booth, but there are some things that could stand to change.
Maybe instead of lion taming she moves up to people taming or hypnosis in the sideshow?
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 12:06 pm
- I love the conflict involved with her hating other girls. How your character interacts with others is always important, and conflict is always good to see.
- Yeah, I think its just the lavender and pink that make her any bit "Mary-Sue"-like. She's very girly, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing.
- The candy kisses are kinda ooky, but interesting at the same time. I'd like to see her other skills too...
We'll approve this as soon as you're done with her talents. xd
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 9:07 pm
Okay, I got the talents up. I'm still re-working the history. I know what's gonna happen to her, but I haven't typed it yet. o:
Thanks for the critiques, guys~! heart
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Posted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:27 pm
Sounds like a real treat i can't wait to see her when's she's drawn.
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Posted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 9:33 am
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:18 pm
I like the idea of a type of ... Enchantress. She reminds me of Morgan le Fay in a sense. I agree with someone who said something earlier, it seems like hypnotism is right up her alley, making people do things they normally wouldn't.
I am a little confused about her personality though, if she feels no compassion towards the men she's killed or the women she's probably scorned, why would she feel a moral barrier to not take her flirting too far? Maybe she had a past experience that changes that wee instance for her?
I think her skills are pretty neat though, that saliva thing got my skin crawling but seriously creative.
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