"Buzz the vampire? Surely not."
"Nice, a holy item check girl."
"The stuff you got, Zerbrowski, I don't want to see."
"I had never heard a vampire giggle before. It wasn't a pleasant sound."
"I think she believed I'd do it. Peachy keen. I'd hate to waste a good threat."
"'Anita, are you all right?' Why do people ask that when the answer is obviously no?"
"The only thing missing was a rack and a black-hooded torturer, one with big, beefy arms and a tattoo that said 'I love Mom.' Yeah, that would have made it perfect."
"Great, Anita, antagonize him. Imply that his equipment is a little undersized."
"A lot of people don't get my jokes. If I was less secure, I'd think my jokes weren't funny. Naw."
"I looked up into his eyes to see if he was teasing me, and I couldn't tell. You try reading rat faces."
"I wasn't sure if he was trying not to laugh, or not to frown. Maybe both. I affected some people that way."
"I didn't think Nikolaos would enjoy being compared to a horse, or car, so I kept my mouth shut. See, not stupid after all."
"There is nothing like waking up the morning after a good beating. It's like a hangover that covers your entire body."
"Great. Vampires, now Edward. The day was about fifteen minutes old. Not a very promising beginning"
"I took one more thing to bed with me, a stuffed toy penguin named Sigmund. I don't sleep with him often, just every once in a while after someone tries to kill me."
"Everyone has their weaknesses. Some people smoke. I collect stuffed penguins. If you won't tell, I won't."
"Being my friend right now may not be the healthiest of avocations."
"If you keep a gun in your purse, you get killed, because no woman can find anything in her purse in under twelve minutes. It's a rule."
"No one had been shooting at me yet; I was encouraged by that."
"As long as he didn't flash that smile at the wrong time and get us molested by nuns, we would be safe."
"I walked back past the coffin and hesitated. I had an urge to knock on the smooth wood. Anybody home? I didn't do it. For all I knew someone might have knocked back."
"If I was on the right track, I'd attract attention soon. Which meant someone might try to kill me. Wouldn't that be fun?"
"The most frightening thing I'd seen all afternoon was the prices on the designer clothing."
"I don't care how many times you've seen women carry guns on a thigh holster on television, it is damn awkward. You walk like a duck with a wet diaper on."
"Sometimes bravery and stupidity are almost interchangeable."
"I could only handle a zillion problems at a time. A zillion and one was beyond me."
"Nothing to fear, folks, just your friendly neighborhood animator. Right."
"I was beginning to get a little paranoid. Or maybe realistic was a better word."
"If his big brown eyes had looked anymore sincere, I'd have given him a doggie biscuit and patted his head."
"A small bluff, otherwise known as a lie."
"I talk to myself every once in a while. Give myself very good advice. Sometimes, I even take it."
"Winter followed like an obedient puppy on steroids."
"Who know, maybe Death slept with a teddy bear? Naw."
"I know who and what I am. I am the Executioner, and I don't date vampires, I kill them."
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