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 Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 2:24 am
I am 13 weeks pregnant now, and up untill recently I was hiding it because my ex has been out of my life for the entire year, never to come back and he wouldn't be welcome if he did.
Now I am thrilled to be having another child, but am so ashamed of the circumstances- I have been single ever since he left me- except for one night redface
I finally got the nerve to tell my big sister on saturday morning, so I rang her up and asked if I could drop round for coffee. I never ask, I just show up so she asked if I had something to talk to her about and I said yes, then she asked who the father was and how long was I planning on keeping it secret, (note to self, sisters who have had 16 pregnancies WILL notice that you are pregnant at 13 wopping weeks).
The father was someone I met at a dinner party hosted by a lady at church, and we were the only two people there not in a couple. Well, he offered my a lift home, and I had left my kids at my sisters for the night, and one thing led to another, and yes.
Ever since I've been in an aweful dillema about how totell people, not to mention I hadn't gottenhis number or even his last name.
So yesterday my sister found out his contact details from the lady at Church. Actually, she told her eldest daughters what was up and told them to find out discreetly (my sister no longer attends our Church) and my neices managed to find out. We rang him today from my sisters house (I don't have a phone for outgoing calls at the moment).
He was shocked, of course, very shocked. He has tomorrow off work so we are going to meet then and have a chat about what we are going to do.
Now, I haven't told my prarnts, the problemis that they know I haven't seen anyone since my ex walked out on me. They also have had a fear all my life that I'll turn out like my big sister (who has 11 children to 3 and a half different fathers, yeah, I count the first father as a half). They were not pleased with my first pregnancy (thats an understatment actually, my mother tried to make my father take me to another state where abortion was legal to get an abortion, which I would never ever have) when I told them; and they shook their heads at the second. At the third my mother said "Isn't that enough for you now, Mary?". I don't know what my mother will do with this one, and then I have to explain it to my children, and I don't know what I'll say to them, especially if the father decides not to stick around (I mean, it was a one night stand! you can't except him to)
So everythings a bit of a mess, but I'm meeting him tomorow, so wish me luck, and any advice would be welcomed!
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:37 am
I wish there was something I could say to help you but all I can think of is I hope everything goes well. And I mean who knows, even though it was a one night stand, the father might stick around. Especially if he is a church-going man. Also your mom should be happy for you no matter what happens. You're her daughter and you're carrying her future grandchild! I'm sure everything will be fine. biggrin
and GOOD LUCK! I'm rooting for you!
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:09 pm
Hope all goes ok, keep calm.
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 2:22 pm
AerynsMommy And I mean who knows, even though it was a one night stand, the father might stick around. Especially if he is a church-going man. Eh I REALLY disagree on this one. I think it's a bit irrelevant if he's "church-going" being indicitive of father skills and involvment. There's plenty of non-religious fathers who are wonderful and involved and plenty of deadbeat dad church goers. What state are you in? Anyways, regardless, you know who he is now, you let him know, pursue the legal aspects of child support. Prepare for the worst, but if he chooses to step up to the plate and accept the responsibilites for his actions, than awesome. I don't think it being a one-night stand absolves him of any responsibilties, and it's expected of ANY man to step up to the plate if it's his child. I would talk with a lawyer, no matter what. As for family, I don't know old you are, but if you're an adult, it's really your life choices. Yes, put yourself in your parents shoes. I think it's understandable to see their disappointment and while they don't agree with some of our life choices, it does take them awhile to come around. Some people just handle news differently. At the very least, just put it out there, let them know what you are doing to be responsible in the next situation. Good luck.
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 3:40 pm
I am not sure what to say advice wise but if you need anyone to talk to you can always pm me.
I admit I looked at your profile to see if there was a age (she is 26 according to the profile).
All I really say is good luck. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 3:44 pm
Thank you all for the well wishes, we meet in an hours time and I am very nervous.
And lunashock, I am in Queensland which is a state in Australia and I'm 26.
And yes, I know my mother should be happy for me, but you must remember she has more grandchildren than she cares to think of at the moment- she currently has 18 and dissaproved of the births of most of them, and still doesn't consider me old enough to be having babies yet (despite the fact that my eldest are six, almost seven now)
But as you all say, you never know what can hapen. I will update this afternoon when I get back.
God Bless,
Mary
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 10:05 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 7:54 pm
Hope it went well for you.
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Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 6:12 am
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