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 Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:47 pm
".....GOD I wish I could be suicidal."
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:35 pm
"Wait... Where's the morality in this thing?!" xd I'm told I'm 'heartless.'
I'll take the Flying Spaghetti Monster, thanks. rofl
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:54 pm
during:
he/she/it wasn't feeling very creative. i'm told i look just like my mom. xP
afterwards:
*talking to earth* "lol, sorry guys, my bad."
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Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 10:02 am
I believe God was getting shitfaced with his friends, and we're the result of his divine vomit o_o;
"LOL LOOK IT MOVES"
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Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:41 pm
What was God thinking when he created me?
"That Steve kid is pretty weird; he needs someone who can match him."
"that Steve kid" is now my boyfriend of over 5 years, and I have no end of fun annoying the s**t out of him. heart whee
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 3:14 pm
I think God was trying to think of how much he could get things wrong when he made me, then when I got through it, he figured 'Eh, it'll never last' and wandered off somewhere.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 4:16 pm
After making me:
Jesus: Father, where's the off switch on this thing????
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2007 7:22 am
God looked down upon my un-wed copulating parents and said
"PWNED!!!!!111!!LOL!!!!"
Thus crystal_pepzi was created...
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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 5:32 pm
"Hmmm... we need more of the female type on this god-forsaken planet, but I appear to have run out of 'sugar, spice, and everything nice', ah, ******** it. She can love frogs."
Later-
"Damn, what the hell? I should have just waited for the next shipment of decency."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 7:23 pm
"Let's see... Big head? Check. Lack of hair? Check. Fast-acting hormones? Check. Abnormally large I.Q.? Check. This one's gonna be interesting..."
Puberty time!
"What was I thinking? She swears, she curses, she doesn't even follow me anymore! I gave her such pretty hair, and she went and dyed it! And, hey! When I gave her fast-acting hormones, I didn't mean I wanted her to have C-cups at twelve! Aaagh! gonk "
Okay, so, I included his thoughts from another stage in my development. Sue me. XD
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 4:31 am
Three words dear friends...
DUCK
BILLED
PLATYPUS.
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 12:51 am
Before:
"Hmm... one big heart, unique personality, some sugar, a bit of spice, some pixies... maybe a bible in there too. Presto. She is my rival! Ingenious!"
After:
"Oh... ********, I knew I should have taken Home Ec. in high school...errr... miscalculated there. Big Heart = NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BIG ENOUGH FOR BOTH GENDERS TO GET A PART OF...where's the Plan B when you need it?"
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:32 am
"Let's see, Einstein told me this kind moves.
Opinionated? Check.
Literature nerd-um? Check.
Half a teaspoon of maturity? Check.
...Another spoon full of literature nerd? Check.
Creativity? Check.
...Five overdoses of creativity?
Err...check?"
"Holy s**t, I made a writer."
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:58 am
"I suppose I should get down to business about those dirty Americans butchering the English language. Let me find my dictionary and cram it in this thing's head."
Afterward:
"Oh man. I used the fat kid goop on a skinny kid. This could cause some problems..."
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