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Miaka1991

PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2006 1:12 pm


I was raped three months ago while on holiday in the south of France.
To cut a very very very long story short it was reported to the police, he was found, locked up, i had to be interveiwed about 5 times and then go see the judge and i was on anti H.I.V medication for a month.

I'm finding it hard to get over it all. I have nightmares often and after someone (who was very involved with my case) Told someone else that he thought i'd given my consent, i got big doubts about it all. Questioning myself over and over if because i'd been so drunk i'd passed out if maybe that meant i'd somehow given my consent...Anyway i have nightmares about it now, someone shouting at me over and over saying i gave my consent and that no one believes me. I also have dreams where i'm being followed and grabbed from behind and taken off somewhere.

To make it even harder for me i have to go back to France soon to see the judge...But this time he'll be there too. In the same room. About 5ft away from me.
Even the thought of that makes me feel sick and start to panic.

I'm on Flouxetine but some days i don't feel like i want to go on living.

I suffer from Anorexia which makes things even harder as the more i hate myself the less i eat.

I just wondered if anyone else has ever had to sit in the same room as the person who raped them?
As i suffer from serious panic attacks i just don't know how i'd cope.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:13 am


I've never been raped, and while I have some anxiety problems, I don't get severe panic attacks. So I guess you can take this with a grain of salt, since I've never been in your situation.

Will you have family/friends with you in the courtroom? Will you have to sit up front, or can you sit on the benches in the bystander section?

While I can understand how you wouldn't ever want to see him again, let alone be in the same room as him, you can try to remember that he won't ever be able to get near you again. If he were to even stand up and move away from the table, there'd be police and people restraining him like white on rice. And then he's going to jail anyways, so even if he were to get out of jail, you're in another part of the country. Is it logical to assume he'd travel to another part of Europe to come get you again?

I don't know how the UK/France's justice system works, but hopefully they'll throw the book at him so he never gets out of jail.
Here, lemme see if I can find something...

Sorry, google isn't very good with this topic. The closest I could find was this:

Quote:
English Law
Under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 ("the 2003 Act"), which came into force on May 1, 2004, rape in England and Wales was redefined from non-consensual vaginal or a**l intercourse, and is now defined as non-consensual penile penetration of the v****a, a**s or mouth. The forcing of a p***s into a v****a by a female is separataly criminalised. The maximum sentence of life imprisonment was maintained under the new Act. It also altered the requirements of the defence of mistaken belief in consent so that one's belief must be now both genuine and reasonable (see above under common law). Presumptions against that belief being reasonably held also now apply when violence is used or feared, the complainant is unconscious, unlawfully detained, drugged, or is by reason of disability unable to communicate a lack of consent. The change in this belief test from the old subjective test (what the defendant thought, reasonably or unreasonably) to an objective test was the subject of some debate (see [1] and [2]), as it permits a man to be convicted of rape if he thought a person was consenting, were the circumstances thought by a jury to be unreasonable.

Any consent of the complainant is of no relevance if he or she is under the age of thirteen.

A woman who forces a man to have sex can be prosecuted for rape under section 3 of the 2003 Act. A woman assisting a man commit a rape can be prosecuted for the crime as an accessory. A woman can also be prosecuted for causing a man to engage in sexual activity without his consent under section 4 of the 2003 Act, a crime which also carries a maximum life sentence if it involves penetration of the mouth, a**s or v****a. Section 2 of the 2003 Act introduces a new sexual offence, "assault by penetration", with the same punishment as rape. It is committed when someone sexually penetrates the a**s or v****a with a part of his or her body, or with an object, without that person's consent. The policy of the 2003 Act is to make offences gender neutral.

( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_about_rape#English_law )


I couldn't find anything for France's laws on rape, though. I'm sorry. whee

Nikolita
Captain


Miaka1991

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:19 pm


Thank you that information was helpful.

Sadly my parents can't be in the room with me.
Which is incredibly hard for me. I did all my interveiws on my own with french police men and a really bad translator rolleyes I guess the one good thing is that my lawyer is english but also speaks french. confused

I know he can never touch me again or even speak to me but it's the thought of him being there. And i'm not sure what seeing him or hearing his voice will trigger. Also everytime they ask me if i've remebered anymore, but i keep saying i was unconscious. cry

To make matters worse he's claimed there was another guy involved. gonk

*sigh* The french system is messed up. They won't let me do ANYTHING via video link. They're taking it very seriously but still i wish they'd see how i really cannot cope with seeing him.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 9:13 am


Have they given you an idea of how long the court proceeding will take?

I have seen and listened to enough stories from rape victims, both on Gaia and on real life TV shows, to know that it's just the thought of him being there. And I wish I could tell you something that would help make you feel better. But I don't know what to say.

Worse come to worse, if something happens or if you have a panic attack, they can take a recess or something. Maybe it would be a good idea to let your lawyer know that you have panic attacks, so if you can feel one coming on, or if you feel like something's wrong, they can try to help you?

Nikolita
Captain


Miaka1991

PostPosted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 3:40 pm


Nikolita
Have they given you an idea of how long the court proceeding will take?

I have seen and listened to enough stories from rape victims, both on Gaia and on real life TV shows, to know that it's just the thought of him being there. And I wish I could tell you something that would help make you feel better. But I don't know what to say.

Worse come to worse, if something happens or if you have a panic attack, they can take a recess or something. Maybe it would be a good idea to let your lawyer know that you have panic attacks, so if you can feel one coming on, or if you feel like something's wrong, they can try to help you?


Well sadly this isn't even going to court yet!
In France you go to see the judge like in the UK and other places you go to see your lawyer. Sounds mad and it is. For the case to get to court it could take a couple of years or so. They haven't told me how long i'll have to be in the room with him and the judge for.
They only told me at the last minute that i'd have to go back (that was after two weeks of everyone saying i wouldn't have to. gonk )

My lawyer knows i suffer with panic attacks and witnessed me having one last time i was infront of the judge, but the judge didn't stop. Just carried on asking questions as i'm trying to breathe and calm down and stop crying. gonk
She didn't seem to be that kind at all. Just wanted me to answer her questions. confused
PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:14 pm


Sadly some judges don't care about the welfare of others. The judge I had was actually nice to me, but a b***h to my rapist. (thankfully). I'm sorry that you had to go through it all, especially in another country. sad

animalia02

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