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 Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 11:04 am
 ★★★ For a long time I figured I was gay. You know, I had sexual attraction
toward men, I want(ed) to have romantic relationships with men ...
but the more I began to date, the more I began to realize that I really
couldn't care less about the sex part of a relationship. Sex became a
chore. It was boring, and exhaustive, and icky. I found that I derived
many times more satisfaction from just cuddling on the couch while
watching a movie, or holding hands while driving (except when you
have to shift gears, of course). Sex became ... something I wasn't into.
Great, I thought, so not only am I gay (a minority), I'm not into sex (a
minority within a minority). Then I came upon the idea of asexuality,
and I thought, "maybe that's me!" But it can't be for me because I still
have a physical sex drive that needs regular attention unless I want to
suffer the psycho-physiological effects of sexual repression/ignorance.
I also have a psychology that sexualizes things and people - I have sex
dreams routinely. But when it comes to actual sex, actually doing the
nasty with another person, all interest goes out the window. So I have no
idea where I am in regards to my sexuality. Am I gay, am I asexual, am
I just confused? Does anyone have any insights into this matter at all?★★★ 
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 12:35 pm
I experience the same thing, but I would say that you're still asexual. As long as you don't have a sexual attraction to other people -- and I'd say that you don't, because your interest goes out the window when you actually do it -- then you'd be asexual.
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Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 12:59 pm
Asexuality has many forms.
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 6:01 am
★★★ @Xumbra .....................................................................................................
Well, I do experience sexual attraction toward certain people, but I lack
the desire to actually have sex with them. I find certain individuals to be
very appealing in a purely physical or sexual way, but if given the chance
to engage in sexual activites with them, my interest would just die out right
then and there. Hence my confusion. Perhaps it's just a biological thing?★★★
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Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:22 pm
People are animals. On this level, therefore, some sorts of urges and sexual desires can arise without ever having to actually be realized. But because people are more conscious of themselves than animals appear to be, they have the ability of self-control or to not have interest all together. Emotional and mental attributes of people can be far stronger than the physical, so while lusty enticements may emerge in the most of us, we can equally have the want and need to go as far as we only want to. I can just stop at making-out, and some people can't. Not much else interests me. So, while I too may find someone physically attractive and could imagine myself a little fancy of whatever, in reality I wouldn't know what to do with them. Most everything's more idealistic, safe, and controllable in the mind....that's my opinion, anyway.
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Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006 3:57 pm
Jizo, it will be ultimately you who will place the label 'asexual' upon yourself...or not, if you decide that you aren't. Yes, it is confusing, but take your time to sort through your confusion. There's no rush.
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 9:54 pm
 地蔵菩薩是Thank you muchly for the advice, encouragement, and insights!  萬知通
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Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:04 pm
You make so much sense to me.
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 12:52 am
Don't label yourself if it's confusing 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 5:14 am
It'd be quite lame of me right now if I made a proclamation of my despise for labels. Because labels are ever-existing and almost entirely unavoidable; they're apart of routine life and something most people just adapt to or merely tolerate. Regardlessly, I dislike them still.
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 7:00 pm
No, it's not lame of you to say that. Personally, I like labels in the sense that they categorize people in the most general way possible; on the other hand, I do not like the implication that one possesses all the aspects of label assigned. Like you said, we cannot avoid labels, but no, it is not lame to despise them.
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