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Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 9:47 am
Words struggle, Struggle, Struggle, In the back of my throat Trying to find a formula A form for formless thought
I need to tell you Need to tell you But I cannot find a way I sit and ponder helplessly And don't know what to say
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Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 1:18 am
heart Despite what you say, I think you did very well in writing it! heart
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Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 11:47 am
the_weird_1 heart Despite what you say, I think you did very well in writing it! heart Thank you! heart
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Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 12:22 pm
It needs a bit more punctuating, but it's a very good poem. I love the repetition of words and sounds (particularly 'formula' and 'form'). I think the second verse could do with something like that at the end, actually. If you could come up with another repeated sound, I think that would make it flow better and therefore perfect it.
It's nice to read some good, nonpublished writing.
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Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2007 2:23 am
uhhhhhhhhh witshy washy smile
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