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 Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:55 pm
I don't know if this is hormones or what, but I'm feeling horribly under-appreciated. I'm in my 31st week of pregnancy with my second child, and nobody seems to give a rat's a**. Nobody asks to pat my belly, most family gatherings (mine or my in-laws) go entirely without anyone asking after my health or the baby's, and I haven't heard anything about a baby shower. Even the fact that I'm due on Thanksgiving doesn't seem to excite much interest. I understand that a second child isn't as much of an event, but I didn't expect to be treated as if me and my huge belly were non-existent. Hell's bells, half the time even *I* forget I'm pregnant, because I can go for an entire week without anyone else reminding me.
Don't all rush to give me love and attention, because that isn't really your responsibility. But I'd like some feedback about whether or not I'm hallucinating, and how the rest of you with more than one kid coped with the incredible drop-off in attention. And yes, I feel horribly whiny even bringing it up. I just figure if I'm going to vent about it, this is where I'm most likely to get a valid response.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:32 pm
I kept getting so frustrated during my second pregnancy because I felt huge and even up to the end I had people teling me that I "hardly looked pregnant" gonk after telling them that I was... that's right most people didn't even seem to notice I was pregnant. crying
I didn't get much belly rubbing (except from my friend here on gaia... erubbing blaugh ). As for a baby shower traditionally that's just for the first baby. I didn't have a shower the second time around.
I don't know if it'll help you to know that after the baby got here she got plenty of attention. I did, however, have fewer visitor at the hospital than with the first baby.
No need to feel horrible about bringing it up. Like you said, you wanted to know if others felt this way.
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Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 7:30 pm
Wow, I didnt realize we were so close in pregnancies! I just turned 30w and am due Dec 7th which is exactly 2w after you ^^;;
Im sorry about less attention. My mom said for the longest time I wasnt showing even though I felt I was. And I got a few comments from others. It was irritating. But my family at least still asked. I cant say I feel ya on the belly rubbing because I personally hate having others rub mine ^^;;; Except hubby.
And how the heck do you forget your pregnant? eek Man, I get reminded ALL THE TIME by little bub wiggling, poking, prodding and hurting me constantly! Not to mention the gigantic belleh. But I also have sciatica that has kicked up again and is quite severe. Oh and the constantly being tired. LOL I dont ever forget! lol
Im sorry, Im not looking to slam you in anyway by saying that. Im just very envious your pregnancy is going so well you can forget ^^;;
I agree with Jenn, usually the baby shower is only for the first baby as far as tradition.
Does hubby at least pay attention to ya?
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Posted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 7:45 am
Naw, I forget I'm pregnant because I'm used to having people poke me at inconvenient times. sweatdrop (Really, except when the baby pinches something vital, I don't much notice the other stuff unless I sit down and pay attention.) And I *certainly* remember every morning when it's time to get up. The belly is a good reminder - that's how I know I keep forgetting. I'm rushing around, I stop to check how I look in the mirror, and I have a brief moment of horror before remembering I'm not *supposed* to have a waist right now. Laren's paying almost as much attention to me this time as he did for #1, which is pretty good. I know I appreciate it. He's been best this past month, since every year he's a gloomy crap-weasel for Spring and Summer. He seems to be shortening the duration a bit as time goes on, which I also appreciate.
Mostly, though, we've all been a bit distracted by the bomb threat (out of the house for three weeks, including my son's birthday party, my husband and my mom had a major argument and I made him stay elsewhere for the last week of exile - yeah, no stress there), him getting tapped for a hearing at work, followed by a suspension because someone *else* made a mistake on a report, and we're still waiting to find out when the suspension will happen, and of course there's his family's way of getting excited about an impending baby, which seems to involve ignoring us all except when they try to act like *they're* the parents and we are inconvenient details who aren't kowtowing properly. Oh yeah, and we remodeled the kitchen a few weeks ago, repainted the living room two weeks ago, and I've already rearranged pretty much every room in the house for better flow and toy storage, and I'm still not finished making curtains for all the rooms. And the piano. We got that from my mom a month ago. (She's trying to make more room in her house.) And my mom is doing lots of intensive work this year to get over her abuse issues from her childhood, and I'm the only daughter who doesn't get annoyed when she calls or stops by.
An even mix of awful and nice, but this has really been a hell of a year. So yeah, it would have been nice if people I was close to were a bit more enthusiastic about the impending baby. Might help me relax a little and be giddy instead of residing in borderline panic 24/7. A shower is just a formal way of being excited for me. A nice way to let me know even the irritating people are looking forward to meeting my child. In my neck of the woods, most mothers get at least a small shower/party for the second baby, though the third baby is usually not celebrated, frequently at the mother's request. Let me stress, it's not about the gifts. We have pretty much everything, including girl clothes (my sisters are all cleaning out their attics and passing the baby clothes on to me). I'm just waxing (probably) whiney and self-centered after a nasty year of taking care of everyone else under the sun, and I want the love.
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