I don't know why, but I'm worrying about things that happened a long time ago. It shouldn't matter now and I forgive him entirely, but I just have to say this which I have never told anyone.
I have an older brother and sometimes he would do inappropriate things to me. He has forcibly touched my breasts, asked me if I wanted to see his p***s, told me that I was giving him a hard-on, and other things which I'd rather not mention. This all happened when we were relatively young (I'm 19 now). Luckily, it didn't happen everyday, but I still remember each moment vividly. We also used to fight all the time and many times he'd hit me and chase me around the house. Sometimes, I'd be afraid for my life and run somewhere that had a locked door. I think he took out of lot of his problems on me. We got along really well other times...
My entire family has always been a little bit rough with upbringing (we got hit and yelled at pretty often, which is pretty normal for a lot of families), but I still think what happened was probably wrong. I didn't know a lot of things back then and I didn't want to know, but it was forced upon me. I thought sex was just like a game, but now that I look back on it, that kind of thing seems so wrong. "Wrestling." I feel like a sick person for having responded to some of these sexual things, especially since I was so young...even now, sometimes I feel weird attractions for my cousins and I wonder if its because of this. Again, I feel like I'm a sick pervert when that happens.
Maybe I am just reading into these things that happened a long time ago. I wonder if it was just his curiosity and not that he really wanted me in that way or wanted to hurt me. Does that make it ok? Do a lot of people have this happen to them?
We get along very well now and I wonder if he remembers those things. If he does, what does he think about it? I guess I'm just getting this off my chest because I've never thought of doing it before. I doubt I'll ever discuss it with him.
I have an older brother and sometimes he would do inappropriate things to me. He has forcibly touched my breasts, asked me if I wanted to see his p***s, told me that I was giving him a hard-on, and other things which I'd rather not mention. This all happened when we were relatively young (I'm 19 now). Luckily, it didn't happen everyday, but I still remember each moment vividly. We also used to fight all the time and many times he'd hit me and chase me around the house. Sometimes, I'd be afraid for my life and run somewhere that had a locked door. I think he took out of lot of his problems on me. We got along really well other times...
My entire family has always been a little bit rough with upbringing (we got hit and yelled at pretty often, which is pretty normal for a lot of families), but I still think what happened was probably wrong. I didn't know a lot of things back then and I didn't want to know, but it was forced upon me. I thought sex was just like a game, but now that I look back on it, that kind of thing seems so wrong. "Wrestling." I feel like a sick person for having responded to some of these sexual things, especially since I was so young...even now, sometimes I feel weird attractions for my cousins and I wonder if its because of this. Again, I feel like I'm a sick pervert when that happens.
Maybe I am just reading into these things that happened a long time ago. I wonder if it was just his curiosity and not that he really wanted me in that way or wanted to hurt me. Does that make it ok? Do a lot of people have this happen to them?
We get along very well now and I wonder if he remembers those things. If he does, what does he think about it? I guess I'm just getting this off my chest because I've never thought of doing it before. I doubt I'll ever discuss it with him.
