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 Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 4:25 pm
Chances Three months. Three months living in this strange world called Gaia and still Satika knew that it was not her world, that it would never be her world. Calling what she felt homesickness felt wrong, if only because she had no wish to return to the culture she'd left behind. Sure, their small group had settled in the same area, but it was hard to recreat a dead world, even among those who so desperately needed to. They changed. Slowly, yes, but she watched it happen. Maybe she changed too, but she found it hard to tell. Hard to care. Three months. Three months before she started to move outside the community, exploring the world beyond it's comforting routines. Started not only seeing but noticing the strangeness of the world around her. Species she didn't know. Couples that did not seem to be of the same kind. Children who were obviously not of a kind with her parent. Adoption was not common in Drest. Though war orphans certainly happened, they were quickly taken by relatives of the parents. Those with no family went to the church, to be raised in the service of the Gods. There had been times when Satika had almost wished ill on her husband's family, hoping for the chance to raise a child. But they had remained healthy. Here, it seemed bloodlines were unimportant. It had taken weeks, but she had eventually approached one of the miss matched families and asked. The very patient young woman had been happy to explain the origins of her children, a conversation that left her equal parts hopeful and hesitant. Further research had shown her a variety of options for adoption. Gaia seemed to be the dumping ground of many worlds, and in a variety of ways. Childrens from animals, from objects, from space. She hadn't mentioned it to Mother, knowing full well that she felt the same about bloodlines as she always had, nevermind her barren daughter who's husband would not be joining them. No, this was for Satika to do alone. The fourth wall wasn't the first place she visited. But it was all so complicated and confusing. Children as objects was too strange, children already half grown not what she hoped for. It was at Fourth Wall that she saw parents holding infants in their arms. That, she could understand. Talking to Karma had been easy, the woman had been very non-threatening. It seemed there'd been a recent influx of infants, but most of them had been easily placed. Most... but not all. One, in particular, had been passed up by other hopeful parents. Exoskeletons were apparently considered unattractive in babies. Satika had been shown the infant girl, pale and vicious with bright black eyes and threatening claws. Had seen her and remembered once again the feeling of sunlight on her skin, the taste of dry desert air, the clear blue of the sky. Love at first sight, if only on her side of things.
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Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:51 am
Welcome Home Journal I have gotten Taima settled, mostly. Her room is set up, and decorated in tones of gold and rose. She will feel at home, I think, among the colours of the desert sands. She seems unhappy, and touchy. But I am not surprised, it must be difficult, adjusting to this new place. It was difficult for me. Mother stopped by while I was warming Taima's dinner. She still refuses to use the local language, and instead greeted me as if we were at home. Called me the Grace of the House as if this was still my husband's house to Grace. But she is old, and she misses her home. I doubt she will ever adjust to this new life. Sometimes I wonder if I will. She is not happy about Taima. Indeed, she did not believe in my daughter's existance until she saw the young one with her own eyes. Of course, that only made her more furious. It is not for us to take in those who aren't our blood. It is not for a woman, barren, cursed by the gods, to take in a child at all. It is not for a woman to raise a child without her husband's consent. She went on from there. But Taima is mine. My husband is not here to tell me otherwise. I will never have blood to take in. And if this angers the gods, well, are the gods here? Have they made it to this world too? I see little evidence of them. If they would punish me, it is for them to do so, not her. And so, Taima cries. And mother cries. And I try to create Grace in a house that has no claim on it.
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Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:52 am
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:40 pm
Kaze felt terrible. Her reaction to Satika and her child had been, in a word, rude. Sure, she had selective arachniphobia (why did it only apply to scorpions, anyway? Huh...), but that was no excuse for screaming the way she did. I mean, how would she feel if someone did that to her little Sierra? Nearby, Sierra kweed. She wanted to see Taima again, she was so cool-looking! She hugged her rabbit and Graham plush, one in each wing, and waited anxiously as Kaze walked up to the entrance to Satika's abode. There, she left two things: a rabbit similar to Sierra's, and a note. Note To Satika and Taima, It was very nice to meet you before, and I'm sorry about my sudden and rather frightful reaction. I hope Taima enjoys this plush (and it's easily sewable if her claws pinch a bit too hard), and I can't wait to see you again! I know that Sierra will enjoy it, too. Always, Kaze and Sierra Taco-Blades 
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Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 8:39 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 8:41 pm
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Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:10 pm
Satika sang as she sewed, reattaching the head onto Taima's toy rabbit, with the same care and strong thread she'd used the last three times this happened. Taima was sitting at her feet, playing listlessly with a collection of metal pans, the bang, bang, bang of her claws creating an odd counterpoint to Satika's soft singing. This was as close to domestic tranquility as they'd found so far. It was enough, perhaps, to count as a start.
"You sing the Master's song, sweetling." She warned, as she finished the head and moved on to the rough tear in the back of the bunny. At least the toy didn't have to be resewn this time. "He will hear your war drums, and ask a dance of you. It isn't a safe dance, the Master's."
There, the toy was repaired. Rising to set it on the bookshelf, Satika picked up one of the few books that had made the transfer from the old world, and knelt beside her daughter.
"See this, Taima?" She asked, opening it to an illustration of the Master, his sword drawn, his eyes fire filled. "It's him you call with all your banging."
Taima looked up, her claws pausing mid-whap. "Nah?" She asked, smacking the picture. "Nah, Ma?"
"He's the Master, darling. Bright brutal god of men and war." She reached out, lifted Taima's claw and moving it to a new picture on a new page. The lady, was seated, her head bowed over a tapestry. Her smile was a winter night, but her eyes were soft. "She's the one you want to sing to."
"Seen?"
"Or play the harp, though that might be harder for you, little darling." She stroked her daughters claws lightly. "But no drums, the Mistress won't come for those."
"Mises."
"Mistress. But come, sweet Taima. It's time for us to eat, isn't it?"
"Eat!"
Perhaps they'd go over religion some other time.
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:02 am
Journal Of late, I have taken up teaching at the local school. It is only children from home who attend, many of my people are uncomfortable with integrating their children into the greater Gaian society. I think it is perhaps, unwise, but who am I to argue with the elders of the community. I have been asked to teach poise, dance, and music to the girls. A part of my soul rebels. I remember as I often do, the anger of my youth. It is easier to remember it now, with Taima slumbering in her crib. There is no curse, or, if the Mistress did curse me, she has found some forgiveness in her heart. For surely, I have been gifted with a child of my soul if not my body. Oh, anger. How I miss your welcome heat. I could believe anything, back when I was young. I could stand up to the world. Of course, one grows, and realized that all fighting does for a woman is wear the woman out. I married, all the same, did I not? I became what I was meant to be, a good and obedient wife, and all the battling and fury did not change it. Now, a new chapter of my life is being written. I do not live in anger, or submission. Instead, I live in love. In love with the pale child I have taken into my home. And she, she has all my anger. She finds much in the world to hate. But she can be calmed with a touch and a song, and she begins to show interest in others. But her idea of play is still rough. Shi is learning not to try and sting, and she almost always uses one of her unclawed arms when exploring something new. In time she will learn to be gentle. There is kindness in her heart. That I know.
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 1:14 pm
Journal Taima spends much of her time with my sisters children. It is better that way, that she might have some sense of family, a sense that I deny her with my strange ways and my fruitless body. They think her strange, but they are not cruel to her, and she does not try, over much, to harm them. My sister has spoken to me of adopting her fully, saying that I have no man here, and can not be expected to rein in so wild a youth myself. My sisters husband has agreed to this plan. My mother has agreed to this plan. It seems that all have agreed except for me, and it seems that my agreement is not considered of much import. She laughs, when she is with those children, and I would see her laughing. But she was to be mine, to be all for me, when I have been denied, again, and again, the chance to have a child of my flesh. They think I am foolish and selfish, in my wish to keep her to myself. I think she is perhaps my only salvation. Would they take that from me too? I can not give her up so easily, my wild Lord calling daughter. But-- I would see her laughing. There must be something to be done for that.
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