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Keeping Your Heart Soft

This one won’t be very long. But I hope it helps. In Jesus’ name.


Yesterday was one of the most emotional days of my life. Yesterday was a day where my heart was softened after it had hardened again. The last few days I had been a hateful jerk to my mother and sister.

I had forgotten a very, VERY important principle I have, and more importantly, a VERY VERY VERY important principle Jesus/God has for us. I wasn’t being tolerant. Instead of showing love, I was showing hate. My heart was hardening, and it hurt like no other. You know my mom and sister are Scientologists, and I had a problem with that. A big problem. The problem was that I’m angry my mom and sister have no interest coming to Christ, and that made me hate Scientology. I hated it so much, I was being a jerk to my mom and my sister. I tried to come up with reasons why their religion was wrong, by looking at things that I thought were wrong, and I wasn’t hiding it. But I was only lying to myself. The religion my mom and sister follow isn’t a con. It’s just a religion. It’s just people searching for the Word. It may not be right, but it’s not a con. I didn’t realize how much pain I was causing until Sunday night after youth group.

Sunday was the first time I have ever gone to youth group. That was SO much fun. I played a game called Bang! with most of the youth. That game is a very violent game for Church blaugh you are either a sheriff, vices, bandits, or renegades. I was a renegade, and basically all you do it have explosive gunfights! People died and bodies riddled the floor! Bwahahahahahahah! Though, this was a card game, so the gunfights were only done through taking turns and the bodies were cardboard characters. sweatdrop That was really fun. I spoke with a few schoolmates I haven’t seen in years, and I got to meet more Christians. That was also very good. But something that happened at youth group was especially awesome.

The youth pastor and his wife are both amazing people. They really are. During the biblical part of youth group, we all talked about conflicts between people. During the service earlier that day, the pastors had everybody right down the names of people they want to change, and then give it to them. After that, they burned all the names, saying you can’t change anybody. Only the Lord can do that. I thought about that, and I decided to ask for advice. I was given wonderful advice from a few people in the group. So, when youth group was over, I came to my mom and apologized. However, the same conflict started. We were fighting again and things exploded. I was merciless. I didn’t care for my mom’s feelings that the time. I told her EXACTLY what I thought. She was crying when she spoke to me on the phone earlier that day, all because of the same type of thing. I was ashamed of my mom for the religion she follows. I didn’t realize just how much damage I was causing. I didn’t realize just what I was doing.

The next day, my sister called me from L.A. She was sobbing because of what I had said to mom. At first, I thought to myself, “well, I’m right…” and I didn’t care at first. But that’s when Jesus let me know something. I was not only hurting my mom and my sister, I was hurting Him. I was hurting the Lord. My heart had hardened, and I was letting it harden. I was being an intolerant jerkwad. So, while talking to my sister, I was holding back tears. She could hear my voice crack and waver. I was very sad, at myself, at what I had done, and what I was doing. My sister and I spoke for a little while, and all the past things that happened between us were coming to the surface. I was SO close to in tears by that time I couldn’t think. My sister had to go, so we got off the phone. At that very moment I was speechless. I thought of God. I thought of how I had hurt Him. I started sobbing. Really hard. I was sobbing for being hateful. I was sobbing for letting the devil ride me so much. I was sobbing for hurting Jesus. I couldn’t stop weeping and sobbing.

My mom came into the room while I sobbed. I couldn’t control it. I told her just how much I love her, just how much I was sorry, and just how much I worried for her. I told her how I didn’t mean to cause her so much harm. She came up to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. I stopped crying, and I thought more of Jesus. I felt Him touch my heart. It was softening.

That felt great. I’m sure you all know what that’s like. It’s the most amazing feeling ever. Having a soft heart is something we all need to effectively teach the Word of God. Without it, you can’t show Jesus, who has the softest heart of all. Having a soft heart isn’t something you just have. Jesus softens it. Gosh, I can’t find the verse in the Bible that talks about that, so I ask one of you to please post it if you know which one I’m talking about.

As I said, this sermon isn’t long. I don’t have a lot of verses about this subject. But I felt like the Holy Spirit wanted me to write this.

Today, I really thought about what tolerance really means. It doesn’t mean you have to approve of somebody’s choice and decisions. It doesn’t mean encouraging them to keep following what they follow. It means you love them and RESPECT them anyway. It means you don’t persecute them or hate them. It means you don’t force them to do anything or believe anything. Kalan has this saying that he got from some historical figure, I think. The saying goes, “forced love is rape and God isn’t a Devine rapist”. You can’t change somebody and make him or her believe. God can’t even make somebody believe. By thinking you can, no matter how close the person is to you, you harden your heart. I did that with my mom and sister. I hardened my heart. But, Jesus softened it by having me cry. Crying isn’t weak or wrong. It can be made wrong if you cry to gain wrongful sympathy or to get things, but real, non-selfish crying is good for you if you feel you really have to. I believe that’s a way God softens your heart. It shows Him you are sad when bad things happen. In all of Ezekiel, God tells a few people He told to kill those who were being wicked to spare the ones who were weeping and crying because of the wickness that was happening all around. God tends to those who are upset. It softens your heart.

Well, right now I’m a little brain dead, and can’t think of too much more to right. But if you feel your heart is hardened, ask God to soften it.

I love you all. You all mean so much to me. I know I say that a lot, but it’s true. Thank God for all of you.

Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ Almighty God.

Thank you for always keeping our hearts soft whenever they harden. Thank you that your Word can be taught and effectively planted by those who follow you with soft hearts. Thank you for your love. I ask you to please help those who don’t believe come to you and your Word. Please give us the means to be soft hearted in order to spread the Word of Jesus. In your name. Amen.

I miss you.