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The Secret Diary of a Cat
DAY 320 - I am now able to move fairly freely around although I think that it is amusement for some sort of creature to set me back in the small containment room where I am to remain throughout the day. I saw what seems to be another species of creature high up in some sort of chamber. My captors call it a bird (Or atleast I am pretty certain they do) and they are convinced that it will learn their language which I doubt is possible... but we shall see.
DAY 678 - Boxes are piled higher than mountains and are being removed from this prison that has prevented me from escaping. This morning the window was open and, as I went to leave, one of the guards stood in my way. I will have freedom... But it is taking longer than expected. I do, however, notice a series of rather large openings in the walls above me, and have frequently attempted to flee through them, but my tries are futile: There seems to be a clear barrier in way of the large, rectangular gaps. They set small plants and decorations up near these things, possibly they are trying to tempt me to make another leap, causing me to deflect off the clear blockage, and back onto the floor for their amusement... but I cannot give up my hopes of personal liberty.
DAY 735 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects, which come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. I find it extremely frustrating and degrading. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed (again.)
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan...
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and converses with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
