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A Little Story of War, Love, and Death

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Nethray

PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 8:23 pm


Okay, so I began writing a story and, seeing as I only have one person to actually send it to that I know will want to read it, I need more people to read it. So, here is the first chapter of my story. Tell me what you think, please!
Quote:
Dirri pounded his fists against the damp forest floor. It wasn’t fair! It just wasn’t fair!

“Why do you haunt me?” he said, looking up into the trees. “Why do you persist to get in the way?” He began cry at this.

Dirri was only about eleven years old. He had extremely pale skin and had short black hair. His eyes were hazel, the same color as his mother’s. He wore a long, black cloak, a grey tunic, and black, ragged pants. He had lost his boots somewhere along the chase, trying to prove Ziko for what he really was. An invader…

“Caissej,” he said under his breath. “Why did you have to leave this village? Why did you have to leave us?” he said in a slightly louder voice.

A hand lightly touched his shoulder and he spun around to see a young girl next to him. “G-Ganna,” he said in a choked voice.

“Dirri, Father told me to come get you. Quit playing with Ziko and come along and you get to keep your arms,” she said.

Ganna was only a year younger than Dirri, yet she had total fear control over him. She had beautiful, red-black hair that she kept in a neat braid. Her eyes were the same color as Dirri’s, and she had the same paleness in her skin. She wore a simple grey tunic and sandals.

“Y-Yes, Ganna,” he said meekly, getting up. The two of them began walking.

Ganna looked up at her brother. He stood only half a head taller than her. She smirked. She was growing pretty fast nowadays. It seemed like only a week ago he was a head taller. Actually… It was only a week ago.

“Ganna… I have to tell you something,” Dirri said.

Ganna sighed. “What?” she asked in a bored and annoyed voice. A voice that Dirri truly feared.

“Erm… Well… I saw her in the woods again. I saw her and she helped Ziko escape…” Dirri said, looking up to the skies – Or what little could be seen through the tree tops.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 12:58 pm


Seems to me that this is a great start to what will be a really good story.

MadamoiselleMorganne


Nethray

PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 12:55 am


Thanks!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 4:05 pm


that's gonna be pretty cool. i like it.
 

vampireXlover


Nethray

PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:14 pm


Thank you! blaugh
Reply
The Writers Block

 
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