Welcome to Gaia! ::

Reply The Gaian Press
THE MOUND - Uncritiqued submissions Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Serieve
Crew

Snow Snowfriend

1,000 Points
  • Professional Snowfriend Architect 250
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Statustician 100
PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:33 pm


In the August Submissions:

Oni_Butterfly
(1) Susan Combs
(2) Vodka Tears
(3) Alcohol Use, Death. It's either a High PG-13 or an R.
(4) Of course. Constructive Critiscism is loooooooved.
(5)
Was this place always so cold and empty?
Even in my childhood, was it always this desolate?
The thermostat reads 75 degrees.
My body feels as if it's 20.

Its the remains of her soul in the room.
If I concentrate, I can still see her body sitting
in front of the long emptied computer desk.
I had the chair burnt.

I didn't want her here to loom over
me with her indifferent expression.
I have tried to occupy this dwelling.
I have tried to make it my home.
But she is still here.

The house is always silent.
Deathly Silent.
So my imagination provides
conversation with the woman
I want nothing but to be rid of.
Maybe her ghost is still trapped in
the walls of this mausoleum, and it refuses
my requests for freedom.

When I wake in the morning,
my eyes adjusting to the light,
I hear the fleeting remains of
her shrill, reprimanding, voice,
demanding my entrance into the real world.
In the dark of night, when my throat
aches for a cold drink, I pass by
the couch, where she spent so many nights.
As I pass it I see the sheets bundled,
and soften my steps to assure her
slumber. I almost reach the
cooler before the image of her cold,
lifeless body spread out in the padded box
breaks through my hazed mind like a pick to ice.
I quickly return to find the couch empty and lifeless.
Sleep never returns to me on these nights.
When I leave the door, intent
on rescuing myself from the loneliness
I hear her, "Don't wreck that car!".
When I begin my dinner I hear her,
"You don't even know what you are doing do you?".
When I step from the shower I hear her,
"Don't get water on my floor, I just cleaned it!"
Her soul has left an imprint on this house
that will never be separated, not through any
amount of scrubbing, or washing. They have
joined together to create a being, solely
intent on destroying my sanity.
Sometimes, when I am reading, I can still
smell the cigarette smoke. The smoke, like
her, will never be free from this house.
When I left for college, the smell left
such an imprint on my senses, I had
to pick up the habit. The dorm rooms
were too nice, the air was too pure.

I could barely breathe.

I told her that once.
She replied that I should stop
blaming her for my errors.
I can still see her in front of me.
The cancer stick in one hand,
the computer mouse in the other.
As soon as her reply was done,
her attention turned completely
back to her game, the conversation concluded.
Once when she was intoxicated,
she told me she wanted me to be
independent, mature, and able to
keep myself under control.
I told her congratulations,
and she could spend the rest of my life,
paying my therapy bills.

She threw a coffee mug at me.
As I picked up the broken pieces,
I cried. Not for her, but the memory of the mug.
I had owned it for so many years,
and now it was gone, like so many other
things she stole from me;
my beliefs, my innocence, my childhood.
Now I stand outside the house,
swaying slightly in my step,
holding a bottle of vodka,
only a quarter full. I place the damp rag inside,
light it, and send it coursing towards the window
of my brother's room. My room was next,
then my father's room. In my high school years,
my mother and I were the only occupants,
but the rooms kept their names, even now.
Maybe we believed if we keep their names,
maybe their bodies would return to us.
Of course, these beliefs were in vain.

"YOU WERE NEVER A HOME TO ME!"
I scream in my inebriated state.
As I watch the ancient house, where
so many memories of mine were held,
I felt a weight lift from my shoulders.
Tears spring from my eyes, and laughter
rips from my throat, echoing across the area.
My body was frozen as I finally noticed,
her silhouette staring at me through the broken window.
She gives me a disapproving glare as if to say,
"You're doing something foolish again."
I finally break free of my hold.

"YOU WERE NEVER A MOTHER TO ME!"
Her image was lost as frame of the house,
collapsed into a fiery pile of rubble.
The firemen arrived to find me on my knees,
lighter in my hand, sobbing and laughing,

with Vodka on my breath.


xgoblin
1) Sarina
2) Obsession & Demise
3) PG 13
4) Indeed
5)

The only thing this New Year brought was the ending of lives. The ending of my parent's lives, specifically.

I don't remember much about the evening. It was dark, and there was a conglomeration of noises coming from several sources that I now only fail to define. From the corner in which I sought refuge, the room was a mass of moving shadows; the voice of my mother and father against the voice of a stranger who seemed all too eager to silence them.

Details about what happened? I never give them. You can call that whatever you want; you can say it's too painful for me, too long ago to accurately remember or depict. I just know that it's in the past. It's history. I do not wish to resurrect it.

I've never had much time to dwell on the specifics, anyway. Immediately transferred into foster care, it was only a few days of being nothing but a number and another face to feed before the investigators on the case informed me that they had tracked down relatives of mine living in England. And that is where I went. I can't say I'd had reason to complain, what with the large stone house that they'd welcomed me into; which barely interested me compared with observing them personally.

Grandfather was quite a character, I tell you. Restricted to a wheelchair and forever attached to an oxygen tank, he spent most of his time in his study, reading about the human body; its systems and synapses and nerves and organs. Rarely did he speak, the words made painful by a plastic tube protruding out of his throat. Grandmother said he was a heavy smoker. Her attitude towards him was one of shame rather than compassion. She 'warned' him. Now she's got to 'put up with the man.' But I felt differently about Grandfather. I often sat outside those doors, my kitty, Cupcake, crumpled into a ball beside me, unaware of the isolated man that lived beyond the walls of the room.

You may be wondering a bit more about Grandmother. She was a lovely woman, really, according to anyone else's standards. Pressed my clothes for the early mornings, slaved over the evening meals that I never seemed to want or need; always a smile on her face.

But there was one thing that dearest Grandmother never quite found the time to pay attention to. And that was my mind. I initially figured this was alright; I shouldn't have expected a woman more than three, four times my age to show interest in my creations. What would a person of her stage in life have to care about the mind? She could barely wake hers up when the sun rose.

Yet, no matter how long I tried to rationalize her apparent ignorance of my work, it continued to bother me. It infuriated me, actually. She had no respect for the fact that I was forming words into a masterpiece far more intricate than anyone could ever begin to understand. Well, I suppose the rest of the universe could understand one thing - my growing wishes to free her of her Earthly duties as a surviving human.

The first few months of my transition living with my grandparents is when I began to realize how immense my dislike for Grandmother had become. She was forever watching me from the corner of her crinkled eye. From the moment I arrived in her and grandfather's home, she did nothing but shun my religious beliefs; my denial of food during holy fasts, my longing to create an altar in which to worship the Lord. Grandmother's materialistic self could use to do some worshipping. It wouldn't hurt her to cleanse some of that blackened, roach of a soul. She always wondered why the contents of her 'hidden' bottle of Tylenol were forever decreasing. If she had known the migraines that she had caused me, there would've been no more questions.

After my anger and resentment sizzled down into a concoction of pure hatred and desire to avenge, my mind quickly became disillusioned. I could no longer think in a positive way. I could barely concentrate. I began to talk to myself for lack of better companionship, but soon even that pastime turned into more of a nuisance than a leisure, as I began disputing myself and hating my thoughts more and more., as they became less of my own, more strange and obscure than I had ever expected them to become. It isn't uncommon for me to have a full conversation with myself, disputing actions and thoughts and everything else.

Grandmother had taken away my passion for all things except one - my passion for revenge; my passion to clear the atmosphere of her every fibrous cell.

Sometimes, when sleep was impossible during those hours of the night that were the most sufferable to experience, I crept into Grandmother's room to kneel beside her bed, watching in spite to see her chest still rising with each sucking in of breath, an insatiable screaming inside to just make the rising and lowering stop; to disrupt the cycle. Acute asphyxiation would've been such an easy task in such times; holding the floral printed bag of feathers over her disgusting face, just long enough to see her chest sit still, to know that her lungs were finally a broken machine.

One particular evening, however, my heart was especially making itself known to the ears that weren't in the mood for an orchestra of the eternal blood pumping drum. I knew what it was, of course, as usual. The pills? No, they were just my pastime; a distraction from the real culprit; a distraction from trying to attain household perfection; a distraction from trying to make Grandfather, Cupcake, and I one happy family - without that woman.

I obviously did not plan to do all of this Grammy exterminating on my own. That was what my darling cat Cupcake was for. We thought very alike, Cupcake and I. She was coated by a rich, black fur that I periodically took upon myself to style. Of late, I'd preferred a shaved Cupcake. Well, except for a marvelous little star design on her back. A beauty she was; a companion, really. I felt happiness as I spent time feverishly typing away at dialogue my dearest kitty would use if she could speak. Ah! I could almost hear her then...

"Etienne, could you possibly take a moment to assist me in negating the insect web under the stairway?"

It obviously was not Cupcake that I almost heard, but Grandmother. All the more thrilling, don't you doubt it.

"I'd like to assist in negating her," I shared deviously with Cupcake. With swish of her tail, she turned to look up at me with an expression that I shall only title 'agreement.'

We had pulled ourselves lazily out of Grandfather's study where I was writing, and trudged to the stairway to see what dearest Grandmother had in mind.



While nearing the stairway, I contemplated all the time that I spent going over my hatred for Grandmother. I was fully aware that I had developed a fleeting obsession - killing her was all that ever entered my mind.

Just the other day, the four of us (us humans, that is, and Cupcake) were taking a brief rest in the parlor to 'chat', as Grandmother preferred to call it. In reality, we had just been sitting around in upholstered chairs staring at each other; Grandfather and I tense at the threat of Grandmother's scrutinizing, Grandmother sitting upright and surely contemplating scrutiny, and Cupcake sprawled limply across my lap, waiting for whatever was going on to be over so that we could play...or scheme a bit more.

Grandmother had soon stood up to bring a few cups of her 'specially brewed' tea from the kitchen (the only thing 'special' about it, I'm convinced, is that fact that she laces it with Hydrocodone, knowing that Grandfather cannot be exposed to such a drug, especially in the quantities that she adds). This had given me just enough time to notice a candelabra on the wooden bureau; a candelabra that could easily have been knocked over onto the floor, igniting each splinter of wood and everything else in that house. Most importantly, it would ignite Grandmother.

But I had soon realized that that would've caused a very messy situation. I would lose all of my belongings, all of Grandfather's belongings, and maybe even endanger his or Cupcake's lives.
No; a fire would not be the right way, even if it meant not seeing Grandmother's permed, hairspray infested hair burning to a crisp, leaving her looking like a member of the Addams family, or a character from Tales from the Crypt.

Even though it was the present, I could not get my mind off of all the previous ideas that had come to my mind; asphyxiation, fires. This, well, this was much different. Much more easy to prove to be accidental. You know, a fragile old woman, spiders that refuse to surrender to the can of poisonous spray.

"I tried to stop her; I saw that it was a dangerous area to be leaning over the banister!" I was sure I'd say when questioned. Cupcake would've surely complied with a nod or a blink.

Yes, this definitely was obsession.

My final conclusion? No obsession would be conquered without the object of obsession first being terminated. And terminate that sickening old woman was exactly what I'd do. Unless, of course, Cupcake would help too. I had no reservations of allowing her to take as much part in the demise as she wished.

My mind came back to the present as I noticed where Grandmother stood on the stairs.

"Hmm...," I contemplated, "injury from falling... could this finally be the perfect solution to the malignant existence of Grandmother?" I had been waiting for the most convenient scenario to unfold in my mind for quite a while.

Twisted over the banister of the staircase - with such a quick, swift move of the arm, or a command to Cupcake, and all of it could be banished from our lives forever! This opportunity would not be refused.

My eyes slowly shifted to Cupcake, who had already been watching me for any sign that I wanted her to step in. And with that, I carefully lifted my pointer finger in the direction of the old woman (still engulfed in trying to murder the arachnids), communicating to Cupcake to do anything to distract her enough to fall down the steps to her imminent death. And what a sweet moment it was about to be.

My kitty, never letting me down, pounced right on Grandmothers toes, and from that second on it was as if time had reverted to slow motion. One limb at a time, Grandmother flailed in an attempt to regain balance.

But what could be done? She was old, her limbs tainted by osteoporosis, and mine too drained from prolonged 'grievance' of my parents that there was no way I could've stopped her fall. Well, that's what the rest of the humans would think, anyway.

And down the steps she fell, one after another after another, until nothing was left except her twisted corpse in the basement, for she had fallen through such a weak spot in the floor! Who could've dreamed of that one?! Not even I! Ha!

For one complete second, I swore her eyes looked into mine; I swore that I saw innocence - maybe even a devastated love! "Never mind," I sadistically decided. "It's just my imagination."

Looking into the hole left in the floor, there was nothing to do but laugh, and laugh I did; insanely, madly, for minutes on end! It was a deep laughter, not far from that of a thrilled child, just with much darker undertones. I threw my head back in this laughter, my teeth gleaming from the light of the candelabra, my hair wildly trembling about my smiling face. The deed was finally complete. The dream had finally completed its journey into the mortal world. Looking one last time into the newly created homely pit, my smile faded with satisfaction.

I covered that dreadful little woman's hole with a quaint wooden board and placed an attractive rug over her now eternal home.

"Come, Cupcake," I directed my feline child, "It's naptime."

After the slight recuperation of sorts with Cupcake, I made my way down the corridor to the music room, even though I hadn't gotten a chance to clean out the spiders from the rims of the carpet since the last time I ventured to where the piano was kept.

I couldn't help but question myself about why I did what I just had. Was Grandmother really that awful?

"She didn't understand!" I remind myself. "You're better off without her."

But I couldn't exactly be sure about this. She was the second; no, third person that I thought that I would be better of without. I am the one that stole the blade from my father's shed. He asked me if I'd seen it several times since he knew I took a fancy to it - I knew he was going to give it to me, but I just weren't patient enough. However, he was patient enough to never once look for it, never once suspect that it was the back of his own dresser that kept the thing. That's where I hid it; I knew it would be right by the doorway if the day came urgently - if the day came and I had no time to fidget in my own belongings.

I was finally remembering all of this; yelling all of this.

I had cornered myself in a part of my memory that I long tried to erase. I was finally beginning to realize what an awful denial I had been in the past few months. But believe me, I never meant to do any of the things that happened. I was a good boy. I don't do bad things. My parents were an implication. They were the only obstacles between me and my dreams of class and social stance. They didn't want to hear about my plans to hold rallies in town. They never had time to read my manuscripts. Those manuscripts would've gotten me places, I tell you. Places all over, high places. France, Germany, maybe even America. Everyone would've known my name.

My parents had other ideas.

Father wanted me to continue tradition working the family store. Let me share a bit of information with you, though. I have never been a traditional kind of man. I couldn't stand for that. So I made sure that I wouldn't have to. I imagine some would call that madness. But in my opinion, it was necessary.

It didn't matter to me at this point the specifics of what was or was not madness. In the flurry of a mere afternoon, little facets of my life that had once plagued me had now incinerated the rest of my life, leaving my mind drunk with emotions of guilt and fear and realization.

I had been in denial for far too long of the vile person that I really was inside. I looked at everyone in my life with such cynicism and judgment that I lost sight of the terrors that only I had committed. I had poisoned Cupcake along the way; oh, poor Cupcake. Such a sweet soul she once was, now only my feline mistress in crime.

And as if this realization had not been enough, I heard wheels rolling frantically on a hard wooden floor - Grandfather's wheelchair!!! Had he heard me talking all this over so loudly?

My heart began to pound - no - my heart went into convulsions as I ran in prayer that he hadn't discovered my sin. How could I not have thought of what to tell him?!

Sure enough, as I reached the bottom of the stairway, Grandfather's chair was there, rolling back and forth at the board and mat, as if to move it, as if he already knew what lay below.

A breathy, panicked "Grandfather!" was all I had time to speak before he turned in that chair, just enough for me to see his face. I had never experienced a fellow human's emotion as much as I did just then, looking at his face that was usually painful yet optimistic. His face sagged, his eyes opened, but just enough for me to see water pushing past their lids. His lips quivered; he didn't even know what to say to the perverse animal that he had once welcomed.

"I'm sorry, Grandfather, I'm so sorry!! She was on the steps, and you know Cupcake! You know I tried to help her, Grandfather!!"

But my pleading was of no use.

"First my son, now my wife! I never wanted you here in the first place! It was your Grandmother that always thought you were so special! God will damn you to Hell, Etienne! And you won't be living in this house waiting for it to happen!!"

Grandfather wanted to say more, I'm sure he did. His face was bright red, and his chest rose and fell at such a rate that it's a wonder he didn't have a heart attack right then.

I respected Grandfather's decision to not want me living around him anymore. I stood for minutes, watching him gasp for air and struggle to speak. I stood, watched, and did nothing to help him. Finally, he rolled away on that little chair of his to use the telephone. The only thing I knew for sure was that this was these were the last few minutes I'd have alone with him; the last few minutes before I was destined to face all that I had been hiding from for so long.

Within an hour, a knock at the door resounded, and Grandfather informed me, simply, that "it was time to go". I was forced away from home for yet another time in my life. This time all alone, in a nicer car, with a driver a bit too stern to honestly expect to be taken seriously. I wasn't informed of where I was going, but as long as I wasn't around that nauseatingly miserable face of Grandfather's, my guilt was kept at a minimum; my optimism at a fair constant.

***

I, myself, prefer late evenings to any sunny days. Well, come to think of it, I prefer being suffocated, or burned to death, or thrown down a flight of steps to any sunny days.

But regardless of any of that, it is late in the evening now, and I am absent of my usual cup of Vicodin laced tea (although I did manage to grab a several whole pills that sit in my lap next to my marooned flask of whiskey); I'm absent of my usual everything, really.

I've awoken in the backseat of a darkened car, somewhere in a town that I do not recognize. People in the distance are whining something about closure, something about finality, and getting rid of the evil.

If my life was a movie, now would be the time that my face would steadily begin to fade, glorified by it's knowing, Richard Ramirez - Night Stalker kind of expression.

Like a cure to the relentless disease; like the solving of a masterminded crime - this is the end.

This is the release.

I swallow.

My lap is empty.

And the television screen goes black.

-Last entry in journals found clutched in the hand of the deceased Etienne Olander, found

In parking lot of St. Mary's Psychiatric Facility, est. 1999.



C e r u l e a n
(1) Pen name? Cerulean
(2) Entry title? Snow
(3)Rating: T? I'll you make the final decison then.
(4) Can we comment on your work if it's published by us? Sure thing. It would be nice to have other opinions on it, too.
(5) Post here:

Snow is like little lights that fall from the sky,
Cooling the roads of the world,
Soothing the pain of the people.

Snow is like a cold finger,
Touching my heart and turning it to ice,
Making me remember, what peace is like.

Snow is like a gentle breeze,
Falling to my face gently,
Teaching me compassion in the midst of a harsh blizzard.

Snow is like me now,
Cold, calm, and dead,
That I whatever I was, whatever I touched, have become affected.


Lanarah
(1) Lanarah
(2) Forever Dead
(3) pg13 for violence
(4) feel free to say whatever
(5)

Blood in the deepest color red,
Stains a battle field, men forever dead.
Souls lost in times of need;
Gone forever, for others greed.

They have left the body alone,
Cuts and bruises, a broken bone.
Things far worse were also done,
All now forgotten, the battles begun.

Rage and hate, hurt and fear,
Screams of terror; do you hear?
Blood is gone, in the past
Battles ended, now at last.

But still the war is raging on,
Grass is colored like the dawn.
So much blood it's a matching red'
All alone, by men forever dead
PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:35 pm


PM'd submission for August:

Knightrideria
1. Pen Name = Siberian
2. Entry Title = Within Chapter 01.
3. Rating is PG at the moment. In later chapters it may be PG-13, but nothing beyond that.
4. Serieve: Doesn't want a Critique.


Within Chapter 01

As soon as I stepped inside the door onto the worn blue carpet, I knew there was something different about this house. I was only fourteen at the time. Generally oblivious to the world at large, except for the small bubble in which I lived, unordinary things were, well… out of the ordinary. My life was fairly mundane, with small spots of excitement, like being allowed to watch a movie with a PG-13 rating. Neither of my parents quite knew what to do with their child who lived in her own fantasy world, full of dragons, knights on horseback, and unicorns that pranced through shadowed glades. Both being devout Christians, such things as dragons were works of the devil, and the fact that I believed in such nonsense was a constant source of puzzlement to them, as if they couldn't understand where I got such nonsensical ideas.

I wasn’t a very practical child; my head was inclined more towards books and my own fantasies than such stable, upright things as school and George Washington’s biography. Truth be told, as far as reading materials went, I had a strong dislike of anything that wasn’t fiction. I had the idea set in my stubborn little brain that if it was non-fiction, it wasn’t any good. Namely, I couldn’t use my ample imagination, which jumped at any chance to get out of the small, but fertile field that was my mind. Non fiction couldn’t be fun, because it had already happened. You couldn’t change it in your imagination, or put yourself in its place. In actuality I suppose you could. But to a fourteen year old there’s a world of difference between putting yourself standing on a curb during the Montgomery bus boycott to riding on a pure white unicorn, hair flying behind you, riding to save the man of your dreams from the dreadful dragon (which turned out to be friendly once you charmed it with your sparkling wit). Of course a bonus to dreaming in fantasy land was you could cure all your own faults as well. Instead of dull blue-grey-green eyes (that just couldn’t make up their mind as to what color they wanted to be), you had sparkling eyes the color of the ocean, or as your love told you “The color of the sky on the most beautiful day on earth.” Instead of frizzy, mouse brown hair you had long, flowing golden tresses, or in my case, red tresses. I’d always had a fascination for red hair, I suppose it had something to do with the fact that my father had red hair, and I simply adored my father, except when I hated him.

In my dream world I had deep, emerald eyes and long, curly auburn hair and alabaster skin… quite a contrast to reality. I really had mouse brown hair, eyes that couldn’t make up their mind to a color, and freckles everywhere, along with the usual teenage scattering of those horrid red spots they affectionately dub pimples. I had been blessed with a speedy metabolism, and I never had to worry much about my weight. If anything I was maybe a pound overweight, and very rarely that, most people tried to make me eat. My parents, thank god, never stuffed food down my throat once I was in my teens, though my mother still made the occasional snide comment about my eating habits and how much junk food I ate. My mother lived off of snide comments. Her daily sustenance was blame-everyone-else-for-the-problems-of-the-world. All you had to do was open your mouth and say anything and she’d instantly blame it on someone. “These eggs are cold.” “You didn’t get to the table fast enough, I called you.” “Oh drat I can’t find the dog’s leash.” “I told you to put it where it belongs; it’s your own fault.” I swear I think the woman got off on the words “Your fault.” You didn’t even have to try to blame her for anything and she’d defend herself.

My father on the other hand, not being able to stand my mother (who could) threw himself into his work and was rarely, if ever seen, and then only long enough to make a few comments and go to bed, where he commenced to snore like a lawnmower, only worse. My father did everything in a big way, snored, got mad, made decisions, sneezed… I remember once sitting in church with my fellow sniveling sixth graders on the third floor with some snappy old lady making us sing dull hymns and listen to a boring lesson on why exactly Moses had parted the Red Sea, as if any of us cared. The absolute bliss of her droning, boring voice was shattered by the sound of a foghorn that sounded like it had a ballistic missile shoved down its throat. Everyone looked at each other in alarm, (the teacher didn’t have anyone to look at so she stared at the white board in shock). I calmly stated “My father sneezed.” For a moment no one heard me, so I repeated myself. Heads turned in unison and stared at me in shock, as if wondering how on heavens name one person could create such a noise and still be with us on this earth. Of course, in silent defense of my dear father, I defiantly stared back until the teacher harrumphed and went on with the dull lesson. I got home and politely informed my father that unless he wished what small social standing I maintained with my fellow Sunday scholars to completely dissipate, he was to desist from sneezing in church. He found something incredibly funny in that, though for the life of me I didn’t know what.

My parents were determined I grow up without outside influences from all the other boys and girls “in the world” which was my parents title for children not in my church. So I, with a lonely eye, watched with envy the neighborhood children getting on the bus every morning to go to public school, while I wearily trudged down into my basement to face my mother and a dreary day of home school. I didn’t learn much, my head was always disappearing into the clouds, much to the dismay of my mother, who didn’t quite like the idea of instructing a headless daughter. Yet despite my lack of said head, she was always telling me to use it. “I didn’t know.” “Next time use your head!” I never knew quite what she meant. I was quite tempted to lop off said bodily part and throw it at her the next time she said that, who knows, maybe that’s what she meant. At the age of seven I was given my first pet by a rather understanding family friend who realized I was an intelligent, but quite lonely child. She bestowed on me a rat of some proportions, a black one, whom I immediately dubbed whiskers and my mother changed to Primrose.

My mother was like that, she had to be in charge of everything, and she always knew just how everything should be done. She basically ran my life until I was around nine, at which point I rebelled against her making all my decisions for me, and was immediately pronounced “unmanageable” and “rebellious.” I certainly wasn’t trying to be rebellious. There’s just something wrong when you receive a toy bear and want to name it Bear and your mother insists upon calling it Buttons. I mean really. It’s not her bear. If she wants to name it that so bad she can very well go out and procure herself one of her own. I didn’t even like bears that much, I was a horse fan. I think all young girls are at some point. My mother, however, loved bears to the point of obsession, and as a result, my entire bedroom was decorated with bears. It should have been a museum, there were bears on the walls, bears on the bed, bears on the dresser, bears everywhere. I remember quite vividly that my silent rebellion against this treatment was to make sure the room was as filthy as possible. When I changed my clothes, I managed to land an article on all eight of the biggest bears in the room...unintentionally, of course. It wasn’t my fault you couldn’t see them. By the time a week had gone by, my room was no longer decorated with bears, but rather with clothes, and I was quite satisfied with myself and my cleverness, until my mother collected all the clothes to wash. Then the whole horrid ritual had to start all over again, but such is the life and trials of a nine year old.

When I was eight, we moved to the wretched hotness of the desert that people call California. I took an immediate dislike to the weather, I was a pale child, and the sun was not my friend. I, however, adapted, as so many times we are wont to do. After four years of living in a somewhat large house that had low rent, the landlord, an unkind old fellow, informed us he was selling out and moving to the Bahamas, and we were to find alternate lodging within thirty days. My parents scurried around like chickens with their heads cut off looking for another rental. A mutual friend of the family told us about a small house for rent on a street not too far away. My parents jumped at it and immediately whisked me into the car and off to investigate the house. We pulled up in front of the ‘for rent’ sign and stopped. The house was small, fairly so, our previous house had been two stories, while this house was merely one. The other house had been a lovely slate blue with brick trim; this house was a faded yellow-beige with even more faded blue trim. The front yard was small, with one lopsided, misplaced tree off to one side, about twice as tall as I was (which wasn’t very tall). We all stared in silence. My father spoke up in a grim tone after a few moments. “Let’s go look inside.” The landlord, who was a land-owning fireman, was renting out his childhood home for almost twice as much as our previous house had cost, but my father, in dire straits, agreed. I had lingered outside, peering at the dirt lined flower beds underneath the dirty windows, and after giving my parents enough time to make the tour, I followed.

My feet carried me inside the door, onto the faded blue carpet, and I stopped. Something felt different. I couldn’t quite place it, but something just felt strange. I stared about me, as if half expecting to see something gruesome drawn on the walls, or one of those chalk outlines on the floor. I shook my head after a moment, told my overactive imagination to pipe down, and followed my parents into what was to be my room. Small, with two windows on either side (it was a corner room), and one small closet. I had been accustomed to bigger rooms, but this would do. I never spent much time in my room anyway, except to lay my tired and tousled head down on the pillow and lay my troubled mind to rest. Most of my day was spent outside in the backyard, acting out all sorts of tales with my toy horses in the tall grass, or reading inside on the sofa. My parents moved on down the hall and I stood in the middle of the room by myself, mentally putting all my furniture in its place in the room, then I realized my mother would arrange the room the way she wanted, and it was useless deciding where I wanted things. A breeze blew across my face and the back of my neck and I turned, I hadn’t remembered the window or the door being open, but they must have been to allow a breeze.

The air was musty, almost stiflingly so, and I crossed to the window to open it further. To my shock, the window was closed. I thought nothing more of it, why should I, the other must have been cracked. It took me quite a while to figure out how to open the window, Socrates and Shakespeare were not beyond my capacity, but apparently a simple window mechanism was. I finally figured it out and the window swung open with a creak. Strangely enough, the air that poured in on the sunny day was warm, not in the least bit cool. I wondered then where on earth the cool breeze had come from, and after some thought determined it must have been a wind blowing off from the ocean. I crossed to the other window, and stood on my tiptoes to further open it. I struggled with the turning wheel for a few moments before I realized that the latch was still fastened. So the wind hadn’t come from here either. Strange. I shrugged it off, my fertile mind for once not romanticizing the incident, and I ventured off to explore the house further.


Knightrideria
1. Pen Name = Siberian
2. Entry Title = Neptune's Grace
3. Rating is G.
4. Serieve: Same here.


Storm-tossed waves of blue-grey hues,
Responding to all of Neptune's cues
Like raging horses upon the sea,
Galloping, Galloping, hoof to knee...
Godspeed O ship, I pray for thee,
That ever and always, safe you be.

Serieve
Crew

Snow Snowfriend

1,000 Points
  • Professional Snowfriend Architect 250
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Statustician 100

Lillian Ashe

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:49 pm


PM'd Submission for September:
Hawthorne

(1) Kyt Dotson
(2) Roll ‘Dem Bones
(3) PG
(4) Sure
(5) I would PM this to Serieve, but for the unknown, and the submissions thread is locked. So just toss it on the slush pile in case submissions are down.

---

It were nine-bells when the winds shifted, bringing with them the scent of roast mackerel from the galley. Most of the sailors on deck had been roused and stomachs rumbled in anticipation of the meal, but a different fate clutched our bellies that morning.

A shout came up from the crow's nest, "Un bateau! Un bateau! Awey starboard!"

As many hands as feet clattered across the deck to the starboard and leaned hard against the rail. I'll ne're forget that image so long as I live of that black prow'd boat cutting a feather against the deep azure sea. Not a man aboard needed the smell of sulfur and burning canvas to know what fate had us in its jaws--as the flames licked from those masts, whipping hungrily in the wind.

A chill went through the crew as the boatswain's whistle shrilled. "Man the guns! Man the rigging! Powder shots and charges full, we may have only one shot! Get a move on! Do you want to be dead or worse!"

For it were the Burning Sails and there, high on her highest mast, the Red Jack flew, a’blazoned skull and crossbones over the flapping joli rouge. We couldn't yet see the silhouettes of the men on that demon vessel, but surely if we could see their whites there'd be murder in their eyes. Some said the captain had insulted Connie Bluelark in another life and now she came asking her revenge.

My rifle slung easily from my shoulder as I took station behind Johnny Edgar, a bright boy of sixteen. Too bad that the lad will never see his seventeenth. I tried not to think as I bit the bullet and poured the powder down the barrel, belowdecks the toms were being set, but I knew it was for naught--not a boat has ever suffered the Burning Sails and lived to tell the tale. I stamped the bullet deep into the throat of my gun and affixed the ramrod to the stock.

With death in my sights and cold stones in my gut, I held my peace and prayed to the Good Lord to keep my aim true.

"All cannon! Give 'em a broadside!"

The roar of the guns split the day and the ship rocked as if a great hand had smacked us. Billows of ghost-white smoke belched across the blue. "Reload the guns!" shouted the quatermaster. I could hear his voice rough and booming in my ears even though the man were a deck below me and the thunder of the cannons still rang in my ears. Blood trickled down my neck. I had gone deaf in one ear.

When the clouds of white cleared, the helljammer were still there--unscathed and untouched, she swung and her cannon ports opened, bearing free the silver maws of ten and twenty iron barrels.

The Burning Sails returned the gesture--her flaming cannon tore through our hull, and smashed our mainmast to smithereens. Splinters flew, screams abounded, and the weeping of men caught my ears as I watched Johnny Edgar die at his post. He would be one of the lucky ones, I told myself as I held steady.

Only a knife in my hands, I stood no chance against these hellsmen; I'd blown my wad into the chest of the first boarder and it hadn't slowed him a bit. The fight abovedecks was a quick one, our crew had been gutted like our boat, and there was little fight left in us. Beaten and bloodied, I bowed my head under the rapier of a rough jowled man with eyes that burned like irons from a fire. He stayed his blade after I dropped my knife.

Waiting.

And there she was, larger than life and full of it. The demon, Captain Connie Bluelark, wearing a dress of black sackcloth, with the crush of gold and jewels glittering from her throat. She made pause for every survivor and made the same offer:

"Death or eternal servitude," 'ole Connie said, her pistol leveled at my skull, and her eyes pierced through me like an awl.

"I pray the Good Lord my soul to take," I said trying to recall my vespers, "...forfend me from evil."

I closed my eyes and wondered if I'd hear the gunshot when Connie pulled the trigger.

"Amen."
PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 2:22 pm


Huh, nothing's been posted here for a while. Do people not critique submissions any more?

enchantedsleeper

Eloquent Explorer

Reply
The Gaian Press

Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum