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 Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 12:51 pm
Discuss:
- Why marriage is so important, and how it differs from a long-term commitment relationship.
- Why some people feel it's important to get married.
- What's the significance of getting married?
- What is the definition of commitment?
- What is the definition of "love", to the best you can think of?
- Why commitment is so important in some relationships?
And anything else you can think of related to these topics. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 7:51 pm
Nikolita Discuss:- Why marriage is so important, and how it differs from a long-term commitment relationship. Marriage is different from any other long term relationship because marriage is about being together for the rest of your lives. In front of your family and friends (most of the time, I understand this isn't always the case), you make this life-long commitment. Nikolita - Why some people feel it's important to get married. For me, it's important to be able to make that commitment to my partner. We'd love each other just as much, this just seems more official. Nikolita - What's the significance of getting married? Obviously, getting married isn't something you should consider doing with every partner you have. To me, it's all about letting everybody know that you've found that perfect person and you're going to try your hardest to be together for a very long time. Nikolita - What is the definition of commitment? I'm not going to look up the dictionary definition. ;P To me, it really means being faithful and putting forth a big effort to fix any and all problems that come up in the relationship. Nikolita - What is the definition of "love", to the best you can think of? That's always a hard question. I think it differs for every person. Personally, it's a combination of a lot of things. It's a gushy feeling I get in my chest everytime I think about him. It's the fact that no matter how bad my day has been, I can talk to him for a few minutes and everything seems better. It's this picture I have in my head of us being old together and I can't imagine ever feeling any differently about him. Nikolita - Why commitment is so important in some relationships? It's very important to me. I was never one for dating more than one person at a time, it's important for me to know that I'm the only one he's seeing. Eee that was a lot of rambling. xp
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Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 9:22 pm
- Marriage is important as it shows other people that you are commited to one another, and as far as I can tell, it allows you to pool your assets, as it were (Although you don't have to). A long-term relationship doesn't have that advantage.
- I suppose some people feel it's important to get married because they feel that without it, their partner isn't as commited. Or perhaps they're traditionalists. Or maybe they just love their partner and want the world to know.
- Significance? For me it's a signal that you want to be together for the rest of your lives.
- Commitment is working together to make your lives better, staying faithful, and staying together, most importantly razz
- Love to me is wanting the best for him, helping him improve, and being able to just sink into his arms and know that everything's going to be okay.
- Commitment is important for some relationships because the couple might want to be the only lover in their partner's life. I know it's important to me, because I've been treated badly in the past and commitment goes some way to making me feel safe and secure in the relationship.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 11:36 pm
I, personally, don't see the difference between a personal committment and a legal marriage.
I don't need a peice of paper to tell me I am going to be faithful and committed.
The only reason I want to get married is because I love pomp and circumstance. I love formality and ettiquette and it's just a good excuse.
I want the huge gown and the opera gloves and formal ceremony and reception.
Marriage isn't as sacred as it used to be. It doesn't have a great track record. At my age, people will take a marriage as serious as they would anything else.
I really think only religious people put much significance into official marriage. As how many of them have the "virginity until marriage" thing.
I think they need to feel validated by their religion in order to feel committed.
I really don't think legal marriage is any more significant than a personal committment. As it stands in America, homosexuals can't marry.
Are their relationships less valid since they're not married? Of course not. So why would anyone else's?
I believe real love is when you have the highest comfort around someone as well as insatiable lust and complete confidence.
They should be your best friend as was as your lover.
And lastly, I think committment depends on the person. Some are fairly loose about who they see and what the guidelines are for that.
Some people will only see one person at a time.
I've experienced a sort of double-edged sword in that, the only relationship I've ever been in is the one I intend to stay in.
Sure, I feel like I missed out on a lot, but I am also greatful that I never had to put up with "the dating scene".
Welp, I guess that about covers it, lol.
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 11:01 am
Nikolita Discuss:- Why marriage is so important, and how it differs from a long-term commitment relationship. Anybody can just move in with someone. You don't have legal ties with someone if you're not married unless specific measures are taken. The other person can leave you high and dry if they feel things aren't working out. Besides, if you love the person that much, why not make it official? Quote: - Why some people feel it's important to get married. Some people think it's a great thing. My dad is like that. Just because he's in a happy marriage, other people shouldn't "miss out." IMO, you shoudn't get married unless you will want to take it seriously and aren't willing to make it work. Quote: - What's the significance of getting married? Like I said before, if you love the person that much, why not make it officail? Plus it's religious for me and I don't believe in sex outside of it. Quote: - What is the definition of commitment? Cooperating with another person through thick and thin. Repect is definantly an issue. Quote: - What is the definition of "love", to the best you can think of? I don't really have one. Quote: - Why commitment is so important in some relationships? You can't just up and leave when you feel like things aren't going your way. That's selfish and they should have though about it before. Marriage kind of forces commentment because you have to take legal action to get out of it. You can't just leave. Unfourtunantly, marriage is too easy to get out of now.
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:07 am
Nikolita - Why marriage is so important, and how it differs from a long-term commitment relationship. To me, marriage is a ceremony to show the person that you will never leave them. That you will love them for all time and want to be with them forever (however that doesn't show with the 50% divorce rates) Nikolita - Why some people feel it's important to get married. I suppose everyone has their own opinion, but I would want to get married to show the guy I'm with that I am faithful to them and will always love and care for him Nikolita - What's the significance of getting married? Pretty much what I said above Nikolita - What is the definition of commitment? Being faithful to your partner and being with them through thick and thin. Plus not just breaking up over something trivial but working things out Nikolita - What is the definition of "love", to the best you can think of? Knowing that you want that person in your life forever. That you never want to see them leave and will be with them always Nikolita - Why commitment is so important in some relationships? It shows that the person truely cares for you Well reading through my response, love, marriage and commitment are all the same, it's just different ways in which you can show each
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 9:52 pm
For me, I was practically married before any papers were signed. My husband and I had a "private ceremony" together about a year and a half after we started dating. We went out into the woods one evening when nature was at its best (fireflies everywhere and the most beautiful hue in the sky) and promised to stay together forever and be faithful. To me, that's a wedding. Our public and legal wedding wasn't for us. As far as we were concerned, we were already married. Our public wedding was for others. It was our way of including our families in our relationship, of joining our two families. It was a celebration of this larger familial union rather than our individual one. It was also a way to signify to our families that this is it - this is the couple that has now formed. I had introduced previous boyfriends to my family, but they refrained from becoming attached because they were just boyfriends and therefore may not be around long (as they weren't). But the wedding was a way of letting our families know that they could get attached to us and to each other. Legally, there was also the name changing. It meant a lot to me to take my husband's name. It made us officially and legally a new and separate family unit. And, since the wedding didn't happen too long ago, there's still that euphoric feeling of being able to say "my husband" and hearing him refer to me as "my wife." I don't think that weddings are required to show fidelity. Personally, I think that should have been shown in a significant way long before the financial and emotional (for your extended families) investment of a wedding take place. I do understand that some people see marriage as too much of an "institution." Personally, I think that's a bit silly, but I do understand where they are coming from. I can certainly understand that, for some people, a wedding just isn't important. It's just a legal and financial hoop to go through and they are fine simply being in a long-term commitment. I think that's fine. I would have been fine with just the familial ceremony and not had the legal hooplah, but it was only a little extra effort and our grandparents were much more comfortable with a "traditional union," so why not? I do not think that a marriage is necessary in having a committed and loving and long term relationship, though. So whatever, to each their own smile Nikolita - What is the definition of commitment? Sexual fidelity, but also emotional fidelity. It's not simply leaving problems unresolved or breaking up a relationship because of them, but rather working through them as a team and resolving them permanently together. Nikolita - What is the definition of "love", to the best you can think of? When you can s**t in front of each other wink A bit crass, but there's truth to that. It's a level of comfort around each other so strong that nothing is too embarassing to reveal to each other. You can go to the bathroom with your significant other present with as little embarassement as though you were alone. Similarly, you can share even your most embarassing and shameful thoughts and feelings. Being able to tell each other about crushes with the full understanding that there will NOT be any infidelity. Love, for me, is complete and unquestioned trust. My husband can tell me about the hot new girl at work and how pretty she is and I know that, in his mind, she doesn't even compare to me. I know that the very thought of cheating on me with her has never even so much as crossed his mind. I know that leaving me, hurting me, cheating me are just plain inconceivable to him. I know this from the very bottom of my heart. That, I think, is love.
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 3:57 pm
- Why marriage is so important, and how it differs from a long-term commitment relationship. It seems that marriage is more of a legal, religious(to an extent), and ceremonial contract between two individuals that "literally" bonds the two people and their love together for life. The public contract signifies that the couple will love and take care of each other forever until death. A long term commitment is just a lot of dedication towards a relationship, and that's mostly what the relationship runs on. - Why some people feel it's important to get married. Since marriage is also a legal tie, it has a share of political and economic benefits and downfalls. If the couple were to divorce, I believe compensation would be involved as well, but you don't get those advantages in a long-term commitment because there is no legal contracts or anything of that sort. In general, people hold weddings for the ceremonial aspect. Remember how I said it is also economically and politically significant? Traditionally, businesses and higher class kingdoms would arrange marriages between a son and a daughter because marriage is also a union of two families, allowing for two large enterprises or upper classes to rise up in terms of power. It has also been used as negotiations between countries, particularly in Medieval Europe in order to stop wars from happening. But now that the concept of "love" and "women's right" have been enforced in the last century or two, people nowadays don't marry for power or for social status as much as they used to. - What's the significance of getting married? If you look at it from a social issue, some people are forbidden by their religion or cultures to have any physical or sexual contact with the opposite sex until marriage so by marrying, they are entitled to all of that. It's not a big issue in America, but the more conservative countries like the Middle East are very strict about it. The reason rules like this have been implanted into their backgrounds is that when someone focuses on the physical aspect of a relationship, it starts to undercut the emotional unity, which is the basis for a sucessful relationship and important so that it doesn't feel like either of them are being treated like objects of greed and desire(thus, the boundary between love and lust). Some people also do it for the physical idea of bonding. - What is the definition of commitment? At the most, I can only say having dedication. - What is the definition of "love", to the best you can think of? Outdated, but my most valid definition of love. http://www.xanga.com/Shi_Musouka/512596526/item.html?nextdate=1152143058&direction=n#1152143058WARNING: FF7 Spoiler at the beginning of the blog. In short, I think love is more of an affinity for a quality and that mutual honesty is the key to a long lasting love. - Why commitment is so important in some relationships? Let me be honest with you about something. There is NOTHING in this world that is easy to obtain effortlessly(unless you are a multimillionaire who can always bribe to get your way). If you want a happy, perfected relationship, you have to be prepared to put in time and effort into maintaining the bond, even when things get really rough. And when you make an effort to do these things, this is what we call "dedication". People are seldomly dedicated irrationally. Dedication is a rare thing that people will not give unless there is a catch. So what's the catch in a relationship? Why should we waste our time putting in energy for some boyfriend or girlfriend who probably doesn't care about me in that extent when we could just be doing something more productive like practicing tennis or catching up on the latest episodes of Naruto? This is more of a trial investment. If you love the person so much that you are willing to make sacrifices in order to maintain the health of the relationship, the person might have the same or similar feeling and you will gain a powerful feeling of joy and happiness or the person won't care and you might get hurt. Being hurt sucks, but if you are able to do your best endure it and pick yourself up sucessfully each time, it won't be as painful as it used to be anymore, making it less of a downside to worry about. This is why most long-term relationships thrive on commitment.
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Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 1:51 am
Jesus, Niko, way to hit on the exact thing I've been thinking hard about all damned week.
I'll get back to you when I have an answer, if ever.
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:26 pm
- Why marriage is so important, and how it differs from a long-term commitment relationship.
Marriage is a long term commentment only there's proof of it in writting that's universially acknowleged(most of the time anyway). There's also religious importance for me. If you're looking for a long term relationship why would you waste time with someone who won't marry you? If they don't want to get married, maybe there's underlying issues like they want to be able to get up and leave. Someone like that has no intention of a long term relationship IMO and must not think very highly of their partner. The relationship is doomed to fail anyway.
- Why some people feel it's important to get married.
I think it's just a way of finalizing your love for someone. I don't think people have to do it, but if they feel they love someone that much, why not.
- What's the significance of getting married?
What's the purpose of living in someone's home, having kids, the whole nine yards and not being married? My great uncle lived with a woman for over 40 years until they died. I'll make a long story short and say that legal issues came up invloving their children's entiltement to land and since they're not considered "legitamit" there's a huge possibility that they won't see a red cent. It would have been easier if my uncle married their mom and all these issues would have been avoided. Sure you can say "there are things you can do without being married" but if the person isn't going throught the process of getting married, I don't think they're going to go through any other venues.
- What is the definition of commitment?
Staying with someone through thick and thin. Compromising with them so you can peacefully co-exist and putting effort into maintaining a positive relationship with them.
- What is the definition of "love", to the best you can think of?
I can't really answer that cause I truthfully don't know.
- Why commitment is so important in some relationships?
If you're not going to put any effort into it, why bother? It's just going to be frustrating and things will be very rocky.
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 11:12 am
i think marriage is extremely important... because i don't believe in divorce... because when i get married that's the person i'm willing to give everything to for the rest of my life... i'm willing to accept that they're the only person i will be with... and that even in hard times i'll be there by their side...!
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