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Why, you say? It's more expensive than cable or DSL, so it must be worth something, right?

Yeah, sure, if you want to pay a hundred a month for dial-up.

You're only allowed to browse Web sites and check your e-mail. If your bandwidth excedes somewhere around 150MBs in four hours, you'll get slammed with their "FAP." Besides being the spelling for a horrible sound effect that we don't pronounce in remotely polite company, it stands for "Fair Access Policy."

Sounds fair, right?

Yeah, sure.

It means that everyone on DirecWAY is using the same bandwidth, so anyone who tries to actually use it is "taking away" from the other users.

What does that mean to you and me?

You better not have Steam running ever to update your games and you better not try to watch more than a few movie or game trailers. Oh, no, 'cause that wouldn't be fair to the people with whom you're sharing DirecWAY's pathetically miniscule bandwidth. Yeah, 'cause God knows grandma's paying a hundred bucks just like you and she damned well better be able to check her e-mail at lightning speed, baby.

This is glorified dial-up. If it's your only option for what they call "broadband" in the middle of nowhere, just stick with your cutesy little NetZero with Web Accelerator. It gives you the same God damned thing you'll be getting from DirecWAY. You'll just be missing out on a bigger modern-looking artistically-designed modem that looks all fancy and crap. Unless you're willing to pay all that for a good-looking modem that lights up with blue LEDs.

$699 for set-up and $69 a month, unless you can't afford the up-front $699. Then you can have the option to pay $99 a month and no set-up charge.

You can say I'm happy. Oh, yeah, baby, real happy.

I've been browsing and downloading at 4K for the past eight hours. On what is supposed to be broadband.

Sounds like yet another b*****d child of capitalism-communism fusion stare