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this may have already been said, but you should definetly have aries and tifa go at eachother.

I voted Reno because he's pretty reckless like that and I can see him tossing his chair at Jerry.

Some of these things you guys are writting a freaking hilarious, others are....well....let's just say I had a headache after a couple of them. Ahem! But! Enjoy my mindless incoherence ^.^

Jerry: "Go on cloud, ask him."

Cloud: Turns to Kadaj. "You drone on and on about your mother all the gawd-damn time, it's like your completely infatuated with her or something. I don't even think she ******** cares about you man."

Kadaj: "I wouldn't expect you to understand black sheep, mother never loved you like she did me."

Cloud: "Good, becuase that'd be ******** nasty."

Jerry: "*mutters* speaking of nasty.......So, Kadaj, you have an intimite relationship with your mother?"

Kadaj: "Well, yes, I do--we do."

Kadaj: Sighs deeply. "I just don't understand it, why mother loved him best."

Sephiroth: Rolls his eyes. "Just get over it p***y, don't be so gawd-damned jealous of me all the time."

Yazoo: Turns to look at Kadaj. "I'm sorry brother, but mother never loved you." monotoned

Kadaj: Eyes widden as he turns in horror to Yazoo. "Mother....she never...." Places hands over his face.

Yazoo: Rubs Kadaj's shoulder. "There there brother, Mother never loved you, but I do."

Kadaj: Bings face out of hands and stares at Yazoo. "What?"

Yazoo: "Don't you see brother? We're destined to rule this cosmos together, without mother."

Kadaj: Still completely shocked, mouth now gapeing open. "I-I don't know what to say.....except..." Eyes narrow "You son-of-a-b***h!" Tackles the s**t out of yazoo.

Yazoo: "Oh! I do like it when you play rough brother!" Giggles like a michael jackson clone.

Cloud: "Ugh...that's sick. I think i'm going to throw up."

Sephiroth: Looks over at cloud, "That is so hot."

Kadaj: "I sware to gawd I'll slit your throat!"

Yazoo: Smirks "Yes! That's what I love brother! You and your Masicistic ways! I simply adore it! Are you going to bring out the chains and handcuffs this time? Oh how I do miss thoes!"

Jerry: motions to sucurity guards to break them up "Yes well, that is quite kinky...as if I needed to say anything when i have a hard on. Ahem! But What were you saying about Kadaj before the show Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth: "I was saying he's a whiny little, clingy b***h. He cries for his mother all the time."

Kadaj: "uhh....that would be loz dumb-a** and you don't exactly have room to talk bud."

Sephiroth: Glares at kadaj "Shhh, no one wants to hear your s**t." turns back to the audiance "Now, as I was saying, Kadaj lives in an illusion. He thinks he's above it, but in fact he's merely a puppet to mother and I."

Kadja: "Puppet my a**, your the ******** insane one."

Sephiroth: "Personally I think you're a ******** idiot."

Cloud: Squirms in seat like an excited fan girl. "Somebody gonna get a hurt'n real bad." Claps vigerously.

Sephiroth: Turns to cloud "You're mocking me aren't you?"

Cloud: Shakes head and waves hands innocently. "Oh-no-no-no. I have a song for you, it goes a little something like this." clears throat. "Well......Seph's mom is a big fat b***h, the biggest b***h in the whole wide world. She's a big fat b***h and she has stupid hair, she's a may-ha-may-ha be-otch!"

Sephiroth: "....shut up fat a**."

Cloud: Eyes water up, "I'm not fat!" Runs off stage crying like a little girl.

Sephiroth: Blinks "What the ******** was that about?"

Cid: "Why ya ask'n us? How'n the hell are we suppost'a know how that silly f** works?"

Yuffie: "Give it up buddy, don't even try and hid it any more."

Cid: "What are you talk'n about Yuffie?"

Yuffie: "That you two are gay lovers."

Cid: "..............." points to Vincent "Vincent's a hermaphrodite."

Vincent: Just shrugs

Yuffie: "******** didn't tell me?!"

Vincent: "Oh, there's many things I keep to myself."

Yuffie: "Oh, right, let met guess, that's the worst of it too, huh?"

Vincent: ".....No..."

Yuffie: Blinks "What else have you been hideing from me?!"

Vincent: "I don't 'hide' things, you just don't ask."

Yuffie: Glares "And? So? Out with it!"

Vincent: Deep dramatic sigh, "Fine." Turns to Sephiroth. "I was hopeing you wouldn't have to find out this way, but.......Sephiroth.....I'm your mother...."

Sephiroth: Stares "You have got to be shitting me....."

Vincent: ".....and your father."

Crowd: Gasps

Sephiroth: "This is a ******** joke, isn't it?" Looks around. "Ha ha, very ******** funny, you guys got me."

Jerry: "It's as true as your inability to bone anyone."

Yuffie: "Oh...you did not just say--" is cut off.

Sephiroth: Gets up and goes to pick up chair, but pulls out Masamune instead and spears Jerry in the crotch. "Yeah, well i'd like to see you bone anybody now!" Twists the blade.

Fight between cloud and yuffie over how possessive she is.

alright here is what im thinking and i voted for Sephiroth since Barret or Cid wasnt there.


Jerry: Hello ladies and gentlemen we have a special show we have Aeris here and she is pregnant but doesnt know who the father is. Isnt that right Aeris?

Aeris: Um...........yes...... * she gets embarrassed *

Jerry: alrght we have 6 possible fathers. Lets bring out our first possible father, Cloud Strife

* Cloud comes in all happy like the crowd cheers for Cloud *

Jerry: Alright Cloud what do you think about being Aeris babys father?

Cloud: Well i have been in love with her for a long time and i knew i would be her babys father. I just have a feeling. * he smiles at Aeris *

Aeris smiles back and says * I hope its yours too Cloudy poo

Jerry: Alright lets bring out father number #2, Barret Wallace

Barret walks out all mad only sleeping with Aeris only once and he was just drunk *

Jerry: hey Barret so what do you think about being Aeris babies father?

Barret: * he glares at him * F**k you Jerry

Jerry: alright we have press for time so lets get out father number #3, Cid Highwind

Cid comes out and everyone boos him *

Jerry: so what do you think about being Aeris babies father Cid?

Cid: Hey man that S**t isnt mine so dont even ask me

Jerry: ok then lets bring out Father number #4, Vincent Valentine

Vincent comes out not saying anything * Yuffie comes out * Vincent you b*****d * slaps him across the face and she runs crying while Vincent seats back down *

Jerry: So how do yuu think about being Aeris babys father?

Vincent: *says nothing*

Jerry: alright then. Lets bring out father number #5, Zack Fair

Zack comes out and tries going after Cloud and Cloud gets up but the security and pregnant Aeris breaks them up *

Zack: Cloud, you basard. She is my woman not yours

Cloud: Oh, give it up she dumped your a** for me.

Aeris: Please guys dont do this. Please for me...

Jerry: Alright what do you think about being Aeris babys father, Zack?

Zack: I hope i am because i was her first love and to piss off Cloud my former friend.

Jerry: alright lets bring out Father number 6, Sephiroth

* Crowd gasps *

Aeris: Oh no

Cloud: What??

Zack: WHAT???

Barret: Saw it coming

Vincent: *says nothing still *

Sephiroth comes out and crowd boos at him * Septhiroth says -* oh F**k off everyone

Jerry: So Sephiroth how do you feel to be Aeris babys father?

Sephiroth: *crackles * I just used her to get a hier to take over the promised land for me * hahahaha *

Cloud and Zack glares at him *

Jerry: Alright i have the paternity test right here and we will see who the father is. And Cloud im sorry you arent the father.

Cloud: What??? That can't be.....

Aeris: * puts her hands on her face sadly covering her mouth*

Zack: * laughs * oh yes take that Cloud * laughs more *

Jerry: We have Barrets test. And Barret you arent the father.

Barret: oh god yes thank you * phew *

Jerry: We have Cids test. And Cid you arent the father

Cid: Yep like i been saying all along * Cid gets up and walks off the stage *

Jerry: Alright we have Vicents test. And Vincent you arent the father

Vincent: * says nothing still *

Jerry: Alright we have Zacks test. And Zack you arent the father

Zack: What???????????? But But im the logical choice. Damnit its your fault Cloud.

Cloud: F**k you Zack

Aeris: Guys please

Jerry: now we are down to Sephiroth test. And Sephiroth, you arent the father

Crowd and Aeris gasps*

Cloud: wait then who is the father?

Zack: Yeah who is it?

Jerry: We have a father and here he is *

Hojo comes out * hahaha guess who?

Crowd gasps at this turn of events and boos him *

Aeris: Nooooo

Cloud: thats it you are died * gets up and goes after Hojo

Zack: save some for me

Jerry: ok we are out of time

* airs out *


sorry that i was long i hope you all like it but i dont favor Hojo just wanted to try a surprise thing.

Dude that was unbelievible! 10/10 for that story! Definantly don't change anything, especially with Hojo.

i would pick tiffa cuz she is a lil short fused and i dont think she will through the chair she will through the other charactors