Second-In-Command-Of-Hell
>.>;
-gulp-
Since this thread is sorta dead..and..and it's for family shtuff I Mean...
<.<;
I could post all my problems here, right?!
Just..just to vent.. -nods reassuringly-
Yeah, yeah...I can so do that...no rule-breaking there...huzzah..
>.>;
So, yeah here's what I'm having trouble with:
OK, about 6 months ago I moved out of my mom and step-dad's house to live with my father and step-mother. The process started from last summer and only 6 months ago did it become reality. I have been dealing with....better than most. >.o
My mother she, she had gastric bypass about a year and a half ago, and now she can't eat jack-s**t! So, I was helping her out A LOT! My step-dad was cheating on her and my sisters were beating the s**t out of each other like crazy. Sounds like a typical dysfunctional family, Heh...that's funny. Alright, so...so I told my mother I liked girls and not guys. She spazzed for about 4 hours and didn't like that. She told me on the phone about two weeks ago, "Come talk to me again when you're either married or you're in college, because I have a new life and it doesn't include you." sweatdrop
And I love my mother..I mean...yeah...she may have rammed me into walls and shtuff but it wasn't as bad my step-dad.
>.o
My step-dad made me take a cold shower for a half an hour naked when I was 7 because I used the hot water....He held me by my neck..I mean...and now that I Was 13 and told him I hated him..and hoped he got his head blown off while he was in Iraq, which SERIOUSLY ******** the guy up. I mean he was so mean..the military made him such a drone to the world and he was powerless..he worked at a jail so he could beat the s**t ouf of people and feel better!!
ANYWAY, back to the main point after I moved out...I...missed all my friends. They moved on..my best friend calls me everyday, but just loves to dump her problems on me and that's it. She doesn't ever call just to see how I'm doing or how I'm adjusting....she's so selfish and...everyone at this school I've been going to for the past 6 months hates me...I mean either a few of the guys want to ******** me or they all just hate me because I have a 4.0, which I haven't had since 3rd grade! I was failing ********' BAND LIVING WITH MY MOTHER!! FAILING!! BAND!! How does one do that?!? =.=
I Mean...it was so ******** up...and I didn't even get to say good bye to anyone there..I never got to hug them all on my final day and say wow, it's been fun! nope nothing I just was picked up and we left...now my mother has left my step-father in our old home. My mother now lives in a different state, my sisters are living with my cousins in my hometown and I'm with my father...and I feel guilty because my sister who is really close to me..she's like a mini me..it's so funny and cute but she has this anger streak like I had..she beats the s**t out of her other sister that's on year younger..I mean..it's HORRIBLE and I Used to do that to them! I used...to beat the crap out of EVERYONE..I Have scars all over my arms and...it just hurts to think about it..I Mean..my mother and step-father don't give a s**t about me and I didn't give a s**t about my sisters, but now I do and I call them often to show my support...I Mean last week my mother rammed my sister's CD Player in the wall for having the TV On when she wasn't supposed to.
TALK ABOUT ********!
Also, my father and step-mother could get a divorce..I mean....there's just too much going on and...it's tearing me apart...
....
This is the real me.
No laughs no jovial hellos!
My depressing life has seaped through...and that's why I haven't been posting as much...
ninja
I do not want sympathy.
I only want people who can make the walk along this road easier... I really wish I was there you know...to help you in person..but I can't be
sad so I will try my best to help you from here.
I don't know how much help I can be because I've never been in a situation like that, and I'm lucky.
but...I can try...
I know you want to help your sisters and stop them from being angry..but..maybe they need to find out on their own...you did...you changed...and you did it on your own...maybe they need to go through it...it could make them stronger....their anger is just a way of showing their hurt and dissapoint at their problems, probably the same way you did...
what your dad did was horrible...and I know it's hard but the best thing to do is probably to forget about it as much as you can...especially if you're living with him at the moment.
and your mum...well what she did is just not fair...just cause you don't like guys...that's absolutely no reason for her to do that to you...I know you love her and I know this must be hard but...I hope I know you and hope that this will help you instead of making you upset..if it upsets you I'm really really sorry but..I think I can say this to you....
if she really loved you she wouldn't have done that..she would have embraced you and loved you no matter what your sexuality...but...she may be shunning you like that because you remind her of problems shes had..like your father and the divorce and everything...and she may have used that as an excuse to shun you out...it might not be the case but it's just a suggestion...she may accept you back before you know it...
all I can say is keep staying strong...everyone at school hated me too...every day I felt sick cause I didn't want to go to school..but my life just magically changed..and if you hold on and keep fighting, it will do the same for you...life may throw crap at you but it can throw good things at you too if you hold on...just be yourself..even if people dont like you...dont try to be anyone else...I tried..and it didnt work..so never try it...people WILL like you when you meet the right ones..that's what happened to me when I left school...I like you..you're a fantastic person...and I hope I've helped in some way...and I'm sorry if I haven't....I'm always here if you want to talk anytime...ANYTIME!
heart
