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Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 4:21 pm
I hope its okay to post fanfics in here....Um anyways, this is a collaborative work between pinkevilbob and me, and we'll probably never finish it because, to be honest, I hardly ever get around to writing fanfiction. Anyways, this is an extrememly silly parody of a movie, so if you don't like stupid humor, I wouldn't reccomend reading it. Enjoy!
P.S. Just for the record, I'm not sure why Dumbledore became Yoda and Fawkes is a parot.....and the *beeps*, well, it this was acted out, I would actually put in beep sounds. (they were there because my friend and I were feeling too lazy to bother coming up with potions ingrediants...and we ended up liking them so we kept them.)
“Dude, where’s my wand?”
As both Fred and George woke that morning, they thought it would be a normal day. They both slowly rolled out of bed, and slowly got ready for the day. Of course some screaming occurred in the area when one of their room mates stepped in what could only be one of the twin’s left over practical joke from the night before. This was followed by a long winded, and not entirely serious, apology. Next, they opened their trunks to gather their supplies for the day. George pulled out his wand and stuffed it in his pocket, then there was an odd shuffling noise. George turned to his brother to see him riffling through his things. Shaking his head, Fred muttered to himself for a moment before turning to George, “Dude, where’s my wand?” George shrugged, “Where’s your wand dude?” “Dude, where’s my wand?” Fred asked again, dumbfounded. “Where’s your wand dude?”, George repeated. Fred scratched the back of his head, “I think I lost my wand dude.” George shook his head in disbelief, “Dude.” Fred started looking through his trunk again, this time he noticed something he hadn't before, it had been loaded with tons of little yellow looking unfamiliar candy. “What's this stuff?” he asked George, who only shrugged. Then he looked over at Georges trunk and saw some of the same yellow things on the ground by it. George picked on up and read the label, “It says they’re called lemon drops” “Dude, what are those?” “I dunno,” George said as he opened the wrapper and popped one into his mouth, “But I like them!” After searching for a while and still not finding his wand, Fred decided to look somewhere else, “Come on dude, we gotta find my wand!” “Hang on a sec. dude.” George said as he began to stuff his pockets with the strange yellow candy. After all of his pockets were completely full, he turned to Fred, “Dude let me see your pockets.” “Dude, no. We gotta go find my wand!” Fred cried desperately. “Dude, this will only take a second.” George pleaded. “Fine.” Fred sighed and held his pockets open as his brother stuffed more of the yummy candy into them. After searching the gryffindor common room and finding nothing except a few knuts, they sat down to think for a moment. Being the clever boys that they are, it didn't take them long to get an idea. George jumped to his feet looking excited, “Dude! I know what we should do. We need to go find someone who is all wise and smart and stuff, they’ll know what to do!” he shouted eagerly. “Dude, Your right! We should go to Peeves!” Fred exclaimed. Later, after an unsuccessful attempt to get information out of Peeves (and what would forevermore be known as the ‘Oww! Ow! Ow, the spiky objects!’ incident), they decided Dumbledore would be a better person to seek advise from. “Dude, I lost my wand.” Fred explained as calmly as he could. “We looked everywhere dude!” George added. “In the bathrooms did you look?” Dumbledore asked. Fred and George exchanged glances, shrugged, and decided to ignore Dumbledore’s odd behavior. “Yeah.” They both answered. “Even the girl’s bathroom?” Dumbledore added. “Yeah.” “In the girl’s locker room?” “Well, we had to look there.”, George explained sheepishly. “What should we do dude?” Fred asked. “For this sort of thinking, there is something that we will need...yes.” Dumbledore smiled. “What do you want Dude? Whatever it is, we’ll get it!” Fred said confidently. “Drops...Lemon.” The old wizard said simply. “What, you mean these?” George wondered pulling out one of the lemon drops. Dumbledore’s mouth began to water, “Very smart you are to bring these.” George looked crest-fallen, “But.....they’re my lemon drops...” he whined pitifully. Fred put a hand on his shoulder, “Let it go Dude, let it go.” Hesitantly, George took a handful of the lemon drops from his pocket and placed them onto Dumbledore’s desk. Suddenly the bell for class began to ring. “Okay dude, what do we do?” Fred asked. “To class you must go.” Dumbledore answered. “But I still don't have my wand!” Dumbledore considered this for a moment, “What you seek to find retrace your steps you must.” “What the bloody hell does that mean?” George yelled in frustration. Suddenly Fawkes, Dumbledore’s phoenix, flew into the room, “Rawwk! Retrace your steps! Retrace you steps!” it squawked. Fred blinked, “Well that was oddly specific.” “And convenient!” George added. *** Afterward, Fred and George were in Snape’s potions class, trying to figure out what they had done the night before. They weren't making much progress though. Apparently its very difficult to think and make a potion at the same time. “Dude, do you remember what we did last night?” Fred asked. “I think we pulled a prank on Neville.” George answered after thinking for a moment. “No we did that the day before.” “Borrowed Harry’s invisibility cloak?” “That was last Tuesday, remember?” “Oh yeah, that was on ‘liberate your stolen items from Filch week’” “Dude, you don't remember what we did last night, do you?” Fred asked suspiciously. “No dude.” George admitted. All of a sudden, the twins felt a dark presence looming over them. They both groaned, knowing that could only mean one thing: Snape was standing behind them. “I suppose,” Snape’s deep, pompous sounding voice began “that since you gentlemen have been following my instructions so carefully, you would be able to explain the complete process to the entire class?” Both Fred and George knew this wasn't a question, it was a demand. George coughed to clear his throat, “Well....First you mix the *BEEP* with the *BEEP*” Snape glared, placed both of his hands onto the table and leaned in towards the boys, “And then?” he asked. “And then you heat it to 120 degrees.” Fred answered. “And then?” Snape asked again. “Then you stir counter clockwise three times.” it was George’s turn. “And then?” “Then we add the *BEEP*” “And theeeeen?” “Then we mix in the *BEEP* and the *BEEP*” “And then?!” “Then...then we let it boil for ten minutes.” “And thennnnn???” “Then.....we’re done.” “And Theeeennnnn????” “Then we sit and wait quietly until the end of class?” “And Theeeennnnnnnnnn???” “Then we leave.” “And Theennnnn??!!” “We go to our next class.” “And theeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn???????” ** AN HOUR LATER**
“AND THEN?!” “then.....we go home....for summer break dude.” “AND THEEEEEEEEEENNN?????” “Then nothing.” “AAAANNNDD THEEEEENNNN?????” “Then....Then you sprout wings and fly off to fluffy bunny world where you become king of the weasel punchers, OKAY?! DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?!!” “Dude calm down.” George warned. “AANNNNDDDDD THEEEEEEEEEENNNNN???????” “NO! NO MORE AND THEN!” “AND THEN?!” “NO AND THEN!” “AND THEN?!” Fred attempted to calm himself, “Look man, if you say and then one more time I’m gonna rip out your liver with my bare hands, give it to the house elves, and tell them to serve it to you on a silver platter!!!!” There was a long moment of silence. “AND THEN?” “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Fred began to climb over the table, swinging at snape. George grabbed his brother and tried to hold him back. “Its not worth it man! Its not worth it!” “AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN?!!!!!”
*** A few minutes later: “That was so worth it.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 2:22 pm
That was funny ^_^ I've heard the "And then?" bit somewhere before, but I can't remember where...
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 7:21 pm
Jackie-senpai P.S. Just for the record, I'm not sure why Dumbledore became Yoda and Fawkes is a parot. Because I'm a hyper-active goofball and you were in a silly mood. Oh and this parodies "Dude, where's my car".
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