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Unhappy... Want Seminary.... Not allowed.... Oy.... (long)

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Risu-Saru

PostPosted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:54 pm


Well, here's the story (pretty long rant, too) :

I live in the middle of nowhere. The closest LDS chapel is a small branch about 18 miles away (Remember the distance, it'll come in later...). The next nearest one is a ward about 24 miles away in the OPPOSITE direction. Not just that, but the ward is in a different stake, different area, even a different mission! However, this ward is where my parents spent most the their church life attending. However, when the line was set up, we were on the wrong side of the line to attend that one, and we were supposed to attend the branch in the opposite direction (this was years ago). My parents reluctantly replied...

The years went by and distrust and other negative feelings slowly grew between my parents and many members of the branch (let's just say my mom isn't exactly the most likeable person you'll meet), and things just started getting worse and worse. It was made even worse by the fact that our last 2 branch presidents started by using the spirit, but my dad was in the branch presidency for them both, and he could tell there was little spirit in the choices that they made for callings, and my dad got out of there.

Well, anyway, it got to the point where my parents just couldn't take it anymore (and, if I may, I'd just like to say that my mom doesn't really try her best to get along with people, and when things don't work out, she ends up getting really sensitive about it, and it just bothers me...) and they talked to the stake president who approved our records being transfered to the ward in the other stake that they used to go to. Let's just say, I was really against it, because I liked my place in the branch. I could tell what was going on, but I knew I couldn't do anything to change it, and it wasn't affecting the youth too much (although, it really ended up affecting the young mens, because my dad was the president before, and when he left, I stuck around for a few weeks and started feeling REALLY out of place. I could no longer feel the spirit in young mens on Sunday. I knew what they taught was true, but it just seemed to me that they weren't teaching with the spirit, however hard they tried.).

Well, reluctantly (and forcibly) I started attending this ward that I knew NO ONE in, and felt really out of place at. But, I found I could actually feel the spirit there. HOWEVER, I did not break all bonds with the branch. I had very strong ties to the youth there. The branch may have been week, but the youth there were very strong, and I felt at home among them. So, I continued going to scouts and mutual with the youth from the ward, and after presenting a persuasive argument with my parents, they settled and said it was ok.

Now for the point of the thread:

I had promised the youth there that I would attend early morning seminary with them, and that everyone would be together again (I had early morning my first year, and last year I had home study and I REALLY didn't like it, while I had loved early morning. Not just that, we had a friend of mine who this will be his first year of seminary, plus another friend who is a senior this year and hasn't gone to seminary since his freshman year). Everyone would be together again, and everyone was happy about it. Then, my mom became part of the equation....

[WARNING: Nerdy Algebraic Random Equations]
Before:
4=2y-3

After:
y=62x+19z-14

Uh huh... Yeah.... (lol, sorry, I'm a fan of algebra!! mrgreen )

Anyway, she's been trying to get me to cut all ties with this branch. She's settled to let me stay with the scouts 'till I'm 18, but other than that she doesn't want me to have anything to do with it. I've kinda gone against that by starting to attend the Priest/Laurel (sp?) and APYW activities in my old stake (I haven't started with the new one yet, because I still don't feel comfortable there yet) when I'd never really went to them before. As she's trying to cut the ties, I'm only making them stronger.

As for seminary, she REALLY doesn't want me attending seminary in the branch, so, when I said I was going to, she said that gas was an issue. Well, I responded to that by saying that I have my own vehicle now (which I do) PLUS I have a job now (which I also do) and can pay for my own gas. NOT JUST that, but me and another person who lives in the middle of no where too and attends the branch are gonna be car-pooling and she's volunteered to pay for half the gas money, as long as I drive (Which I've agreed to). Then she said she really didn't care. Then, outa no where today she said she doesn't want me going to seminary AT ALL, but if I want to do early morning seminary, it has to be with my new ward. She argued that it would be less money for gas, because it was less distance.

Now, let's flash back to one of my first comments, about how the ward is a farther distance, and I measured those in driving distance, not as the crow flies. My sister even agreed with me. Not just that, but I'd be driving by myself, and no one would be helping to pay the gas bill because I wouldn't be car-pooling. She's just refusing to listen. She doesn't want me to have anything to do with the branch whose youth I love so much. She's closed her mind to the entire idea! I'm not giving up though. If there's one thing I got from her that I've thanked her for is her stubborness. She may be my parent, but when it's come down to a battle of the wills in the past, 60% of the time, her will breaks first. But I'm just worried this may be one of those 40% moments....

So, I know I've just wasted all your lives away making you read this long rant, but do any of you guys have any suggestions?

Oh, one last note: The seminary teacher at the branch this year is someone I know and trust a lot. He works for the school I go to (he's the band teacher: YAY BAND!!!!) and I know for a fact he's spiritual, and teaches with the spirit. He's awesome! Plus, he moved into the area a little under a year ago, so I know he hasn't been affected by how weak the branch has become. In fact, he's noticed it, and is trying to help in anyway he can. I admire him, he's great!

So, your thoughts?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 4:46 am


well, first, I have to remind you of the only of the ten commandments with a blessing attached to it--Honor thy mother and thy father, that thy days may be long.

Believe it or not, parents do what they think is best for their children.

You mentioned that you don't feel comfortable with your new ward yet...I say give it a chance--sometimes all it takes is time to get to know people. Then there's the matter of your records...you're supposed to go where your records are....

Distance.....I live in Texas, so distance isn't that big a deal....18 miles or 24 miles....not a huge difference.....

*shrugs* Sometimes change is good.

Stubbornness is only good sometimes--and that's usually only in matters of persecution (i.e. someone tries to get you to deny what you know to be true).

I don't know, honestly....I'm just giving you some things to think about....or playing devil's advocate.....you choose....

......wow.....i never had drama when i was a teen.....except with one of my stepfathers....*twitch* rolleyes

Maki Minakoaino


Mahonri Moriancumer

PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:36 pm


What can you do except pray that your mom'll let you go.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 2:40 pm


No matter what happens, go to seminary. I understand you want to go with all your friends and it would bother me to if my parents wouldn't let me. Really though, don't drop seminary. Talk with your parents, talk with your bishop. Just don't drop seminary.

Enyo_Eris


Itesa

PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:45 am


My two cents:

1) Pray about your course of action. I agree with you about wanting to attend seminary with your friends and those you've made a promise to. I also agree with Maki Minakoaino about giving the new group a chance. Who knows, you could be the bridge that connects those two groups making them even stronger. (Just because they're in different stakes doesn't mean there's some kind of law against you all being friends and doing things together!)

2) If, after you've prayed, you feel that the Spirit is confirming the course of action that you want to take why not enlist your band teacher's help? I may be missing something but it sounds like he's someone your mother hasn't met and whom she might not have issues with.

(YAY band! I played drums, bass and quad. You?)
PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2006 7:01 pm


I echo Itesa in strongly suggesting that you pray about it. In reading your post you seem to strongly value that people have the spirit with them and act/teach with it. Make sure that you have the Spirit with you as you make your decissions. And, I know this is going to be a little hard to hear but please bear with me, the Spirit and contention cannot reside in the same place. I'm not saying you need to give in and agree with her, but if you resent her you will not be able to hear what the Spirit may be trying to say to you.

And heres a little bit of advice that may or may not work; offer a sacrific in order to get what you want. Tell her you'll start going to the other ward and make new friends if she lets you go to seminary. I see it as a win win situation as making new friends is fun for me. You may not see it that way, but it's something to think about.

hapahaole


Mormon_Seebs

PostPosted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 2:56 pm


Well, if that branch doesn't feel the spirit that much... tell your mom you're trying to be a light in the darkness. mrgreen
PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 6:36 pm


Mormon_Seebs
Well, if that branch doesn't feel the spirit that much... tell your mom you're trying to be a light in the darkness. mrgreen
lol, I like that one, and it's a great idea.

Anywho, the resolution is this:
My parent's have decided to let me go to seminary in the branch (the seminary teacher himself asked what he could do to convince my parents to let me go there), but if after the first week I'm too much trouble (since seminary doesn't start until a week after that in the ward) then I have to go to the ward. I've agreed, so we'll see how it goes!

Risu-Saru


Itesa

PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2006 11:09 am


Good luck, eh!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:36 pm


I'd say try to cut a deal with your mom like you'll go to seminary at the ward and then in exchange you'll attend youth meetings and regular church at the stake where she wants you but you just want to be with your friends and where you feel you belong for seminary. but also pray about your decision and try to sit your mom down with your bishop and your dad and talk to her then because she can't really say no to the spirit in the presence of the bishop. wink

I've tried to go through my life doing what I think is right. and now I'm a member of teh church and I wake up early every morning for seminary and I have a testimony and everything.

blue_Twilight

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Memorable thread: Gospel Oriented

 
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