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Sweet Silence

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and_solo_said
Captain

PostPosted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 4:46 am


I have two questions about this piece, the first; are there any improvements I could make? The second; do you think it would go in the fantasy, or the social commentary section of my anthology?

Sweet Silence

Dance, and spiral, for they are one
and not the same.

Follow my lead, and partake of my
step. Once, twice, and the final thrice.
Dissimilarities have no communal vice.

The fourth, the fifth, and the sick.
The morose and beplagued; final trick.
Once more around. Now spiral, faster,
Over the edge, and hit the ground.

Recount the fury, passion's flames.
Cliched countenance. Fifth again.
Flurry of silk, they stand entranced.
Heel toe leap prance, and recoil,
simmer and flow, emulate and glow.

The final exeunt, gilt in silver.
Fast to the heavens, sweep, from the grasp,
mock the reaper, and now the last.
Smooth and devious, like western repast
Harsh and sharp, eastern Cyrillic
For 'tis good chortle that rids o' cynics.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 9:26 am


Social Commentary.

Miyaz


and_solo_said
Captain

PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2005 9:29 am


Social commentary it is...though most of that section refers to more specific events, whats wrong with a bit of variety? biggrin  
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Gaian Literary Elitist's Alliance

 
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