|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 8:07 am
I'm seeing a boy, Jessy. Now, I am a virgen and he isn't...He's been with quiet a few girls in fact. He told me that he wanted to have sex, we tried, but I pushed him off of me. I wasn't ready. I told him to stop and he didn't, so I pushed him. He said he didn't stop because he knew it would hurt and I would have to get over with.
He then said he was sorry, and that we could do it when I was ready. Then about a week later, he said we should try again. I didn't want to at first, but I think he was sweet talking me. I was blind-sided. I told him I didn't want to do it, and he said, "Just try, it'll only hurt this one time. Rember, I love you."
The second time was worse for me because he promised me that if I wanted to stop we would. I told him to stop, and he said, "Let's just try one more time..." "...One more time, I promise."
When he says, I love you, I don't belive him. I don't know what I should do. I was thinking of breaking up with him, but it's easier said then done.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:52 am
Quite honestly, he seems like he's just in it for the sex. He doesn't sound like he loves you. If he gave a damn at all about you or your feelings, not to mention that you two have a relationship with each other, he would've stopped asking for sex. He didn't.
By repeatedly asking and coercing you into it, he's already proven that he doesn't respect your wants or your feelings. I'd say break up with him, and find someone who treats you better. Someone who actually understands that "no means no".
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 7:47 pm
I think my heart just ripped in half.
I was reading, Down boy, from http://www.tomatonation.com/downboy2.shtml
When I came accross this, "Girls should not have to hear "if you love me, you'll [insert sex act here]" and take it seriously. Boys should not think that they can treat girls like poker chips."
He's said that to me, about sex. I don't think he does love me...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 10:04 pm
I'm going to agree with Nikolita on this one. Being a guy, I know how a guys mind works. Not taking no for an answer shows a lack of any love on his part. Using The words "if you love me you'll... [followed by a sexual act]" is just more proof that he doesn't love you. Those are signs of a guy just in it for the sex. My advice is the break up with him
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 4:31 am
Malina_Mango
I think my heart just ripped in half.
I was reading, Down boy, from http://www.tomatonation.com/downboy2.shtml
When I came accross this, "Girls should not have to hear "if you love me, you'll [insert sex act here]" and take it seriously. Boys should not think that they can treat girls like poker chips."
He's said that to me, about sex. I don't think he does love me...
Exactly. Girls should not have to hear that from a guy in order to keep their boyfriend. And it's hard to say which is sadder: that the girl has to hear it, or the girl believes it and does what the guy says (not you specifically, just in general). Girls shouldn't have to sacrifice their own feelings and wants in order to keep their boyfriends, who aren't good boyfriends anyways if they pressure their partners for sex.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 10:49 am
OMG! I am with those two.. Me and my boyfriend tired it before and I was liek I'm not ready and he stopped immeditly.. and when we really did do it.. I was making unfomfertabel nosies and he was wantting to know if we were going to stop..
They shoudl ask you if your okay and if you feel right and if you are ready for this..
They shouldn't pressure you to have sex in a place that you re unfomterable with or a sexual deed that you are not ready for..
if they pressure you and you say no and they keep going.. its called rape..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2006 2:24 pm
Art Groupie if t[...] you say no and they keep going.. its called rape.. Quoted because I think this bears repeating. If you say no at ANY point, he has to stop or it is rape. Even if you've been having full intercourse for half an hour and he's just about to start orgasming, if you tell him to stop, he has to stop. (this applies to you girls, too. If your man says he's not in the mood or wants to stop, it's rape to try an pressure him) No one has the right to your body. EVER. Sex is a big deal and it is yours to give. If he loved you, he would understand that you are not ready and back off.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:07 am
We had one of the most upsetting conversations ever...
Last night he called me, and at one point he said, "I love you." I didn't say anything back and he said, "Hey? What's wrong?" For a while he kept asking me what was wrong. Finally he asked, "Are you mad at me for what happend Friday?" I just made a "Un-huh" squeek. I told him I didn't belive him when he said he loved me, and that I was thinking about breaking up with him.
Then for about an hour he told me how sorry he was, and how much he loved me. He said he would never touch me unless I said it was okay. He said he would never try to have sex or anything like that again. If he did, he said he would end it himself so I wouldn't have to.
I spent most of the time crying, and kept telling him I didn't belive him. He begged me for my forgiveness. I told him that, I didn't think I could. He told me he had to go, and said he would call me the next morning, at around 11.
He called me, and I forgave him. Does that make me weak? He asked for one more chance, I gave it to him. He told me that he would never mention sex again, and if he did it would be over because he said I deseve better.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:20 am
Malina_Mango
We had one of the most upsetting conversations ever...
Last night he called me, and at one point he said, "I love you." I didn't say anything back and he said, "Hey? What's wrong?" For a while he kept asking me what was wrong. Finally he asked, "Are you mad at me for what happend Friday?" I just made a "Un-huh" squeek. I told him I didn't belive him when he said he loved me, and that I was thinking about breaking up with him.
Then for about an hour he told me how sorry he was, and how much he loved me. He said he would never touch me unless I said it was okay. He said he would never try to have sex or anything like that again. If he did, he said he would end it himself so I wouldn't have to.
I spent most of the time crying, and kept telling him I didn't belive him. He begged me for my forgiveness. I told him that, I didn't think I could. He told me he had to go, and said he would call me the next morning, at around 11.
He called me, and I forgave him. Does that make me weak? He asked for one more chance, I gave it to him. He told me that he would never mention sex again, and if he did it would be over because he said I deseve better.
ask him this. ok "why do you want to have sex with me so badly". just ask him that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:27 am
It's really up to you. Can you go back to trusting him after what he did to you twice? I do think he cares about you, but that he's going about it completely backwards. Someone who cares about you would not pressure you into sex, and would not make you do things that you are not comfortable with. He did that twice. Me personally, I'd tell him it's over. But it's your body and your life, so it's your decision. I don't think you're weak, and I don't think you're a bad person. But I do think you need to sit down and weigh the pro's and con's of this relationship, and think about how much you're able to trust him after what happened. If you have doubts about him or the relationship, it might be better to take a break from the relationship so you can figure out what YOU want, or to just find someone else altogether. Quick side note: Quote: If he did, he said he would end it himself so I wouldn't have to. Did he mean end the relationship, or end his life?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:38 am
I thought about it a lot... I almost did end it. I decided against it though, but I know that if anything like that happends again. It's over. I told him that if he does do it again, I don't want him begging me to forgive him and I don't want him to tell me "he'll change." I told him if he does it again, it's over, and that's it. I don't want to go through it all again.
He ment the relationship, not his life. He said he would break up with me no matter how much he loves me. He said he would end it so I wouldn't have to.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:54 am
Ah ok. Best of luck to you both then. smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:59 am
Thank you everyone for your help. I think for now the matter is resolved. Unless he ties something like that agian. Which I don't think he will.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
