Welcome to Gaia! ::

So as some of you may (or may not) have seen my outburst of angry/depressed threads in the Jeedy, earlier today, I'm not doin too well.

SO here's the backstory for my buddies here at Peniszlol (because I don't have a lot of IRL friends around with this being the graduation summer and all and ILU guys)

My grandmother has terminal lung cancer
and has been battling it for a year and a half, now.

She's gotten so sick that she's now living with us and begins Hospice (ie a nurse will come in and check up with her at least one mandatory day a week)

Last night, she passed out during dinner. We couldn't leaver her on the couch because should she regain conciousness, she would still need easy access to the bathroom which is on the second floor. Her room WAS my computer room that I gave up so that mom wouldn't have to sleep in my room and no one would have to sleep on the couch and this way, she can easily be assisted on her way to the toilet.

Well, she had somewhat regained conciousness by the time that we were ready to move her but for the most part, my mother and I struggled to carry her dead weight up a flight of 14 stairs. I'm nearly 6' and I still had a hard time (even though I did most of the hauling to save Mom's knees).

So yea

I feel very weak
Even though I was there to help
I couldn't help but wish I had the core of Two Tone
or a little extra strength of my own

so in my own depression/anime-like determination
I'm getting the weights out again

Mentally, I'm starting to crash. Thank god for College
but too bad it's another six weeks away

Gah

ilu guys for even reading through all that

heart

heart

Access I do have
and I loved you teaching the GD how to fight, yesterday

That's why my grandma lives
In assisted living
place

in another city

She's gotta be
over twice my weight.
Easily.

And she can barely walk.
She gets stuck on the toilet 'cause she can't get up.