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 Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 7:16 pm
Raioga I know a girl personally, who cuts herself. How is this caused and how to prevent her from doing it.
If you have experience with cutting, you help might be more effective. A common misconception people have is that they can do something to cause a person to stop cutting themselves. The person needs to stop for themselves, no one else! I understand, as a friend, you might want to help... The only way you can really help is by being there. Tell her that she can call you anytime she needs to and just listen to her. Don't push her feelings aside or make her feel like her feelings are not valid. And as for "how is this caused"... lol... I'm sorry... but there's never one reason a person starts cutting... I hope this helps... and yes, I used to cut myself.
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Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:33 pm
I myself am struggling to recover from self-injuring myself. The main thing you have to realize is that she will not stop cutting herself unless she WANTS to stop. Even then, when she decides she wants to stop cutting, she will more than likely suffer setbacks. By this I mean she could go years without cutting, then go back to it for what seems like little or no reason.
The worst things you could do for her are telling her she needs to stop, threatening her if she doesn't stop, abandoning her, or telling other people about it without her permission to do so.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 8:50 pm
i think the worst thing you can say is that cutting is stupid, or that she [or he] brought it apon them selfs. and beleive me, i know, ive been cutting for a year... crying
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 4:45 pm
sweatdrop the only reason i quit was because someone important to me cut themself in front of me and said every times i do he will...
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Posted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:28 pm
i was cutting like 3 years or so.. and thankfully i stopped.. only with therapy and months while my family got all things with edge oO! ... i forgot it... and now.. well.. sometimes is very tempting.. but i know is not the way
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 8:36 pm
MipsyKitten RulerOfTheWolves Ask her why she does it, what you can do to help, if she will please stop for you. [...] Your gonna have to put your foot down in this situation to help her. Actually, from personal experience and knowing quite a few people who used to, and still self harm, this is the worst thing you could do. Unless she wants to stop for herself, you telling her to stop for you or anyone else will make her feel like even more crap has been piled on top of her. If she can't stop, she'll think she's letting everyone down and cause herself even more harm. If you crowd her, you will cause her to shut herself in and not talk to you at all. Give her space. Make her aware that you are there for her when she needs it. If she doens't talk to you for a while, don't pressure her. Don't keep going back. Once she knows that she can go to you, she will. It'll be in her own time. That's the way to help her gain control. If she feels she's getting help under her own steam, at her pace and when she's ready, she'll feel in control, and won't have to harm herself.
All the best to you both. heart
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 1:02 am
just to add my bit...i am an ex-cutter. but i still get urges now and then...but anyway. what helped ME stop was my boyfriend...we had been togther for about 7-8 months at this time. he had known i cut for a few months and kept trying to get me to stop. Everyday he would check my pockets for razor blades or something that i may have brought to hurt myself and if he found anything he would throw them away. He was always so afraid that i would cut too deep and bleed to death. but I felt like i just couldnt control anything in my life. Not because of my boyfriend though. But after lieing a few times about not doing it and him checking and seeing the marks on my arm he said that i needed to stop or else. and of course i was like "or else?" and he just looked at me and said or else im dont gonna do this anymore. of course he meant breaking up. I love him so much so this was like...an awaking for me....for some reason this made me think...im about to make a HUGE mistake...so i stopped..but of couse soon i find out my boyfriend wasnt actually going to break up with me stare he was just saying that to trick me. lol but it DID help me realize that he was right.and im glad he did. so...just be there for her...my boyfriend told me a quote that i go by every day now..."You can die at any time, it takes true courage to live." hopefully this helps..
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Posted: Mon Feb 26, 2007 6:41 pm
When I used to cut my mentality for it was I thought it was better to be hurting myself and to take my aggression out on myself rather than on someone else and have someone elses death or injury on my conscious. I didnt care if I killed myself, better me than someone else.
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2007 5:39 am
Dark_Elf_Maiden When I used to cut my mentality for it was I thought it was better to be hurting myself and to take my aggression out on myself rather than on someone else and have someone elses death or injury on my conscious. I didnt care if I killed myself, better me than someone else. That was part of mine 3nodding Its not really I didnt want someones death/injury on my shoulders ( Depression + Antisocial Disorder = baaadddd) but that I'd prefer not to serve 25-Life when Im not even 25 yet sweatdrop
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