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 Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:24 pm
This is pretty simple. Find the dumbest, most lamest jokes you can here. If it's a question joke, leave the answer for someone else to come up with. For example:
What do you call someone else's curdled dairy product?
OR, if it's a story lame joke, post it like this!
Little Johnny went trick-or-treating this year as a pirate. As his elderly neighbor opened the door, she exclaimed, "My! What a scary pirate! Where are your buccaneers?"
Littly Johnny looked at her disgustedly. "Under my buccan hat!"
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:40 pm
:a woman, who happened to be a teacher, come to this one house looking for the lady of the house. she saw liuttle billy outside. she asked him:
Hello there, where is your mother?
She aint here
Alright then, where is your father? ::trying to ignore the bad grammer::
He aint here not neither
::unable to contain herself any longer:: YOUNG MAN! Where is your grammer?!
She in the kitchin cookin. heart
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:45 pm
A horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky straight up. The bartender looks at him and says "Why the long face?"
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:56 pm
Man walks into a bar, says ouch. heart
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 3:04 pm
A priest, a rabbi, and a buddist are in a boat, and they lose their paddles. Stuck out in the middle of the lake, they discuss how none of them can swim. The Rabbi then stands, climbs out of the boat, and walks across the water to shore. The Buddist follows, also walking across the water. The priest, amazed by this, climbs out of the boat and promptly falls into the water. He climbs back into the boat, only to fall in again when he also attempts to walk across the water. He resolutly keeps trying, saying to himself, "If they can do it, surely I can! I'm a man of the cloth, I follow Jesus's teachings to the letter!" again and again, he falls into the water. From the shore, the Rabbi looks to the Buddist. "You think we should tell him about the rocks?"
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 3:12 pm
Three guys are at the top of a mountain, when a genii appears. She builds a long slide that goes all the way to the bottom of the mountain, and tells them "I'll grant each of you a wish. Call out what you want to be as you slide down."
The first man goes, and he calls out "A rich man!" He arrives at the bottom of the mountain dressed in Armani with a pocketful of 100 dollar bills and a bank account of 10 million dollars.
The second man goes, and calls out "A powerful man!" He arrives at the bottom as the president of the united states.
The third man goes down the slide, and yells, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 4:54 am
Spell Checker
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 6:14 am
Quote: 99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, fix one bug, compile it again, 101 little bugs in the code. 101 little bugs in the code,.... > (Repeat until BUGS = 0)
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 6:30 am
Quote: A tech get drafted! One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away. The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target. The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then once more at the target. He placed his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off -- whereupon he yelled toward the target area... "It's leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!"
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 2:19 pm
Mistakes? What do you mean mistakes? I done used my spellcheck!
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 9:19 pm
Quote: Simplified 1040 forms We've just been informed that the Internal Revenue Service has simplified its 1040 forms for next year in the spirit of becoming a "kinder, gentler" IRS. It goes like this: (A) How much did you make last year?______ (B) How much do you have left?___________ (C) Send in amount on line B. nd why IS it called the 1040? because for every 50$ you make, you get 10 and the US government gets 40!
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