Welcome to Gaia! ::

Y'all know I hate whining.. but here I am, about to do it. This past week or so, I just haven't been able to shake the feeling that something isn't right. I feel very detatched, alone... hollow. Peter was online last night, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was about to have my heart ripped out and stomped on.



There, did you see that? I would like us to just ride things out as friends for now.. .. yeah, there goes my heart. I know it doesn't seem like anything huge, but ********. I feel like I should give up on him.. even though doing that would make me just want to die. I know he's worth waiting for, but I don't think I can handle that. Not talking to him all the time, and knowing he'll probably never be mine. I just don't know what to do.

He has a very stressful life, much like I do... I just kind of want to curl up in a hole and die right now.

And no, I'm not asking you guys to step in here and make him out as the bad guy... I'm not trying to make anyone seem like the "bad guy" ... I'm just confused... and I don't think I can handle s**t.

Sorry this was so long.

He's had over a year already D:

But thank you. -hugs tight-

Heh, sorry. Yeah, I know it's possible.. but that doesn't make it hurt any less. And you are a help. <3

I can't offer any help, only my simpathy. I know how distant relationships can end bad, especialy if you really like the other one.

*shudders* I know approximately how you feel. I have so many convos saved on my computer that pretty much have ended the same way...with my (now boyfriend) friend saying that he's just not ready for a real relationship over a long distance and my crying and heartaching. He felt that he was too bruised and broken to continue as well. Even though we are together now he still feels inadequate for me because of all of the internal issues he is dealing with. It took us four years to get together (even though still over a long distance) and truely admit and act upon our feelings for one another. We still have problems, mostly with the issue of trust. I still have issues with his issues and we fight about things. Even last night we did the same thing.

I have to admit that there is little you can do. You can stay in hopes of something better or you can go. I'm not advocating either one for his issues will probably always be there...but you shouldn't feel bad because of that. Some people allow their past problems to clog their futures. Not saying that they are bad people or anything but it is in a way normal. And please don't do something I did.... Don't say that you aren't worth it. I spent a lot of time thinking that he didn't think I was worth him dropping his problems for....and that is not true. Few can just drop their problems. If they can it is so very very rare and they usually come back to haunt them. Don't blame yourself. It is his life and his choice...you can stay and help if you want...but you cannot choose for him. And in my opinion, if it hurts you to the point where you are completely compromising yourself...where you are hurting yourself beyond recognition to save him, you should stop and let him and his problems go. Up until that point...it is basically a question of if he is worth it or not. Coping with it though...is really tough. I did and still do so... if you want to PM or IM me, you are free to. I know what you are going through.

*hugs* 3nodding

It makes perfect sense! xd *hugs* I'm glad I could help. Being yourself and true to yourself should come first I think. You would be cheating both of you out if you keep suffering without relief. I'm glad you are able to keep your feelings and move on at the same time. It may even help his situation. whee I am very very happy you are feeling better.

Muchly appreciated. <3