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 Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 8:52 am
Hi, there!! don`t be rude this is my first poem in english... I wrote it several months ago - during one biology class! I am not from english-speaking country - i study it at Foreign Languages High-school... So, please, no matter what, tell me the truth!!
I Will Love You
by Iva Andreeva
I miss you, I need you,
What shall I do without you?
My life ended – you made it!
You rocked my existence,
And I left you with no resistance.
You left me alone
In the hug of Rome…
Why did you dp it? Why did you leave me?
Why? Why? TELL ME!!
You are now an angel in the sky,
And I cry, cry…
Your death was a hit to my heart,
And now I to cry start...
I`ll remember you, I will,
But there is in me no living will…
I want to find you up there,
But to kill myself I ain`t dare…
I loved you, I still do,
But my life is nothing without you...
So why should I still continue living?
When my soul is leaving?
I can`t forget you, you are all around me!
Why did you leave me???
Why?
I will love you down here,
Until I find you up there...
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Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2004 8:35 pm
It's very good blaugh ! I love it
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Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 7:44 pm
skyblueluvr It's very good blaugh ! I love it Agreed 3nodding 3nodding smile smile 3nodding 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 10:29 pm
Wow. You say English is your second (/third, whatever) language? It's really, really good for someone who isn't a native-English speaker. Hell, it's a lot better than a lot of poetry I've seen written by people who DO speak English (myself included sweatdrop ). On that basis, I don't think it'd be fair to criticize it with grammar and such, because it's not your native language. sweatdrop It's quite good, though. 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 8:02 am
Thanks, guys! *blushes* You are great! But i really would like to know if i have mistakes in my poem - i don`t know the rules for writing poems in english... so if you can tell me some i will be thankful! heart
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Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 3:22 pm
Wow. I'm impressed. 3nodding I agree, this is really good for your first poem in English. It's better than a lot of people's first poems, and they have been speaking English their whole life. smile
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Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 6:40 pm
JoeLee I Will Love You by Iva Andreeva I miss you, I need you, What shall I do without you? My life ended – you made it! You rocked my existence, And I left you with no resistance. You left me alone In the hug of Rome… Why did you d o it? Why did you leave me? Why? Why? TELL ME!! You are now an angel in the sky, And I cry, cry… Your death was a hit to my heart, And now I to cry start... don't know what to do here*scratches head*I`ll remember you, I will, But there is in me no living will… I want to find you up there, But to kill myself I ain 't dare… I loved you, I still do, But my life is nothing without you... So why should I still continue living? When my soul is leaving? I can 't forget you, you are all around me! Why did you leave me??? Why? I will love you down here, Until I find you up there... an excellent poem ^_^ and since you stated that you would like to know about grammatical errors, mine are in red though i did not know what to do with one line and that is noted. I loved it and can totally relate to this poem because my grandma who i was very close to even though we lived very far apart and couldn't see one another died just 2 weeks after i graduated crying Hope you keep writing ^.^ -- Panther
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Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:23 pm
hey, look, we're both in two different guilds! blaugh
So I've already commented on this poem, right? Yes I have. So I will go ahead and so it again here.
It sounds like a hardcore/screamo song scream !!
Yeah buddy. Gotta love that stuff domokun
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