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 Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 11:52 am
Kay well.. lately i'v been going through alot, my parents are getting a divorse.My dads an alchollic.. he came after me last chirstmas. and thats just some of it.. and i think my mom wants us to go to a counseler or theripist or w/e.. and i HATE thos kinda ppl.. when i was younger.. i had 'behavure problems' (i hate that term) and i was forced to go to maybe different theripist and phycologists.. and one lady i went too.. told me i was bi polar, and put on me on medication.. even tho i had only had a blood test, witch isn't enuff to test for bipolar dissorder. And then my mom started to acually reslise what it was.. and she took me off the meds after me complaining about them for a VERY long time, and i kept telling her they didn't help me and made me worse.. and they did.
aswell they made me gain weight, witch made me veryyy insecure about myself. so at school i wasen't very nice to ppl.. and stuff.. witch in turn, made most ppl hate me. so after that i was even more insecure and all. but then i went to highschool and made friends who didn't know about all that.. their real good friends and all. But they keep telling me that i can't relie on them much longer.. cuz i'm gunna do something stupid..
I cut, and constantly have urges to drink and do drugs( i have a very addictive personality) i'v been trying to stop cutting but its veryy hard. My bf has been good with helping me, but sometimes i feel bad for crying infront of him, while hes at my house.. i feel like i shoulden't have to put him through all this aswell... hes already been through so much i feel like i shoulden't put him through this aswell.
I don't want to go to a theripist i don't trust them.. they don't help me, and i wont tell them anything, so they just get mad at me for not telling them anything. i'm just not sure what to do, i have no energy, i'm barly sleeping at all..i'm scared.. i don't want to move. and theres so much more and i just don't no how to handle it. i'v never had any change in my life and i'm so scared.. i jsut don't no what to do.. i keep having urges to cut.. so bad >.<
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 3:35 pm
I used to be like you. When I was younger, I saw a therapist and I sat and talked to him for an hour... and afterward, he brought my mom in and told her everything I'd just said, sumed up in HIS opinion, right infront of me (which is illegal, btw). I didn't trust psychologists or the like for a LONG time.
However, YEARS later, I went and saw another. A psychologist. She was fantastic and I felt great talking to her and really liked her. I even invited her to my baby shower.
Point is, just like with any other people in the world, there are people you get along with and people you don't. You need to be able to get along with and trust a psychologist. Don't assume because you've had some bad experiences that ALL of them are bad, because they're not. Everyone is different. I honest suggest trying to find someone you can talk to openly and comfortably. It sounds like you could really use it.
If you don't want someone to shove you on drugs, make sure you see a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. Also, make sure this is someone who ISN'T going to repeat anything to your parents, even if they ask, and who you feel comfortable with.
A good psychologist will never tell you you're wrong or tell you what you need to do. A good one will make you think through your desicions and thoughts outloud, and guide you through decision making and help you better understand your OWN feelings, without imposing their own.
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 6:13 pm
thank you.. that acually made me feel a bit better.. i guess i'v just had all the bad ones. hopefulli will find somebody good =( I will still be really shy and stuff with them tho. i unno why.
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 12:21 am
You know I thought I'd be shy too... but when I finally found someone I could just spill EVERYTHING to and she didn't judge me or insult my opinions, I found I would talk non-stop about everything and anything. Just voicing some things outloud that you've never admitted before can help you learn a lot about yourself.
I'm glad my post helped you some, and I hope you find someone as great as I did to talk to.
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 9:32 am
Yes it did help me a bit, hm.. yeah ifff i could find somebody like that, i guess i would be the same way, but i have a real trust isuse, Because i'v been ******** overby ppl so many times. So i never trust ppl.. and i can never talk to adults.. cuz its like there all the same.. and will just tell my mom about things i'v done. So i don't want to talk to them, and its way easyer for me to talk to ppl my age and stuff about my problems, i can never talk to adults, ESPESALLY face to face. the last one i went too told my mom everything i said.. but i went to her for different reasons but still. i had said some things i didn't want my mom to know.. and she didn't even ask me if she could talk to my mom about it, and i know if she had and i had said no, she would have kept bugging me untill i said yes, she did that to me alllll the time!! i hated it.. so i have no trust for ppl like that sad
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 4:18 pm
When you find a new doc, you can sign something and have THEM sign something saying they cannot reveal things to your parents unless they're things that imply you're in immediate danger (such as if you told your doc you were going to kill yourself or someone else).
Mine did talk to my parents before. But not in the way my other doctor did. She didn't sit them down and tell them everything I said. She sat them down and talked to them about their perceived issues with me, so she could better understand both sides and therefore have more to work with.
I really do hope you find someone you like. When you do, they're priceless, but I just got lucky in finding mine, you may not have such an easy time.
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Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 9:51 pm
yeah, only thing is, i woulden't want my mom to know i made the doc sign that..aswell i HATE my mom leaving the room when i have to talk to them, i get SOOO shy, and when shes there, i'll just like look at my mom when the doc. asks me something, and like want my mom to anwser it. i'm just like scared of them :S but my mom hasen't brought it up in awhile.. so maybe she forgot about it, and isn't gunna make me see one.. and would something that implyed i'm in immediate danger, be like if i told her/him i cut? jw cuz i don't think i could ever tell a theripist about that.
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