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Moth Wrangler
Captain

PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2006 6:51 pm


I write alot of poetry...
And no one ever comments or criticizes it...
So,
I'm asking for honest opinions on some of my more recent pieces.
Be harsh,
Be nice,
Either way,
I'll listen.


Bitter-Sweet Melodies

My fingers move with the music,
The notes,
They run in rythm.
My heart
It beats with them,
Piano keys soft on my finger tips.
I mouth the words,
My lips moving with the music.

What ever this feeling may be,
My head is sure that I do not want to loose it.
Everything is so right
My shoulders feel light.
The weight that's settled upon them,
Shattered by the soothing notes.

My heart soon worries,
Because it has to end,
This feeling
It hurts.
It burns my chest
And makes me want to cry,
But the music has to die.
Because,
Of corse,
Who am I
To make the notes go on
After the bar line...?

It's all gone.
Stopped,
Dead,
Still ringing in my head.
And soon it fades.
The melody,
A haunting blur.
I want it back.
That moment I lost...
But every action has a cost.

And my life remains bitter-sweet.
Bitter because it's ended,
Sweet for I know
There is a chance,
That a new moment and I
Might meet.
PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:52 pm


So...pretty... ;0; <3

[.Starshine.]


Moth Wrangler
Captain

PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 12:25 pm


Thanks,
I got alot of positive reviews on it in my journal.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:59 pm


It's so pro-like. cool

Unlike me. I can't do poetry well.

Why do people think
poems need formality?
I mean, look at me!

(That was a haiku. D: )

Des Longinus

Dapper Dabbler


i n i q u i t y
Crew

PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:04 pm



Frikin Awesome!!
(( Sorry, watching Napolean Dynamite. xD; ))

But Yes.
You poem is very pretty.
<333

I'm not very good at poems.
But my friend gravedirt is awesome.
She makes like EVERYTHING into a poem.
She can rhyme almost every word.
It's shweet-ness. o-o

At the end of the school year for me,
I had to write like 50 poems.
It was scary.
They were all horrible.
Dx
PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:30 pm


Jaz009
I write alot of poetry...
And no one ever comments or criticizes it...
So,
I'm asking for honest opinions on some of my more recent pieces.
Be harsh,
Be nice,
Either way,
I'll listen.


Bitter-Sweet Melodies

My fingers move with the music,
The notes,
They run in rythm.
My heart
It beats with them,
Piano keys soft on my finger tips.
I mouth the words,
My lips moving with the music.

What ever this feeling may be,
My head is sure that I do not want to loose it.
Everything is so right
My shoulders feel light.
The weight that's settled upon them,
Shattered by the soothing notes.

My heart soon worries,
Because it has to end,
This feeling
It hurts.
It burns my chest
And makes me want to cry,
But the music has to die.
Because,
Of corse,
Who am I
To make the notes go on
After the bar line...?

It's all gone.
Stopped,
Dead,
Still ringing in my head.
And soon it fades.
The melody,
A haunting blur.
I want it back.
That moment I lost...
But every action has a cost.

And my life remains bitter-sweet.
Bitter because it's ended,
Sweet for I know
There is a chance,
That a new moment and I
Might meet.


heart heart heart Beautiful flow! The rythm of words is outstandin!! I admire the way you set the mood 3nodding

Larele


DARKnCUTE

PostPosted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 8:35 pm


That's good. I did a poem too but don't laugh.

A Friend

A friend is someone who trusts you and hopes for the best
They won't be mean to you like the rest
A friend cares for you with all their life
They take care of you with all their might
A friend welcomes you when they see you in sight
They know your every move
A friend would always help you when you're in trouble
They always wake you up when you're in your own private bubble
Friends are the light of our lives
They help you to overcome your strife
They warn you when danger is near
When they are close there is no fear
You will always know there is never any fear
Because your friends are always here
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 7:40 pm


^ me love it

Hot_Prep


x sherby

PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 8:45 pm


O__O wow...that's really deep...

my turn!! -runs near a microphone- ok now my poem is called "the fluffy clouds all look like footballs!!" ^-^
PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 2:08 am


That was so pretty but it's so sad!

Monarch Cre

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