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Ok heres how it goes. Please don't think of me as just some love sick girl cause im not...so anyways.

Alright, ahwile back, say about maybe a couple years ago, I met this guy. Yes he was younger then me but we still fell head over heals for each other. It was like something that I had never felt before you know. Anyways, we had our problems on the way but we always seemed to be able to fix things so easily and move on like nothing had happened. Well that is until about a few months ago. Something happened and well we ended up breaking it once again. Afterwards I met someone else, and began to go out with him. He's a great guy, although he's a great deal older then me. The thing is, I want to stay with him now but recently I have talked to my ex, the one from before, and have found out that my feelings for him havent changed. Everytime I talk to him I just end up wanting to cry. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's like I want to be with him but I don't want to leave the person im with cause I have just as strong feelings for him.

Help?

Second there was no reason to bump at all. Generally, since we keep relevant current topics up at the top around here, there is no need to bump at all within the guild.

Fristly, i just like to qoute a movie:



I'm 21 and theres been a few times i've thought i was in love, but mostly it was just me desperate for a partner -- and the times i did have someone you could consider a partner it felt good but didnt really last.

I'm now in a relationship (sadly long distance) with a wonderful woman whom i intend to spend the rest of my life with.

Only you can say when you're in love or not.

Quite a few times (icluding my current relationship) i've seen couples grow apart or have a fight.. then after not having the other person for a while it feels amazingly incorrect and when they get back with their (ex?)partner it feels like getting air after almost having drowned.

Making promises like "i'll never leave you" are to me, like saying "i'll never get hit by a bus"... you cant see the future so dont promise something you cant garuntee. For Example: (hypothetical and hopefully not the case) but what if you said 'i'll never leave you' and he turns out to be a wife basher?... are you going to stay with him forever like you promised?

I'll tell you something that was told to me. "People are in love with the idea of being in love." I firmly believe that was what caused me so many problems during my dating life.

When you reach a point in your life that you know exactly what you want (relationship wise) and aren't going to be confused by things like "my ex said he was sorry but I love the guy I'm with too, and I don't know who to be with", then you'll have a better idea of love.

The thing is, love is probably the thing that screws with more people's minds than anything else on the face of the planet. You're told if you don't have someone to love than you're some kind of loser, so you're desperate to have someone and you convince them and yourself that you love them when deep down you're just in love with the idea of them.

(I'm using the word "You" generally, not bashing anyone. sweatdrop )

Also think about what Fresa said. You wouldn't have been able to move on to a new relationship if you weren't ready to move on.

One more thing to mull about. Life is a constant, never ending lesson. And that definently applies to the sub-world of dating/relationships. If relationships don't end you won't learn from them, and won't take what you learn to the next one, therefore you won't be the person you need to be mentally and emotionally when you finally find that right one to spend a permanent relationship with.

......at least that's my opinion and experience.