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 Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:50 pm
Hey, this is kinda like the thread asking if it's ok to be mad at God...cept a bit different. Lately I've been feeling really upset cuz so much is going wrong: I'm at my mom's house instead of at home, my mom can't find a job, her car broke so she can't sell it for as much and she needs two cars, my dad is in trouble government wise, my best friend (who I'm still trying to hook back up with since we were bf/gf) isn't talking to me, I'm having probs with my other best friend, and I'm just having a really tough time taking all this (and much more) in. Every night when I pray I kinda get mad at God asking Him if He's even listening. If He's even there. And then I get mad at myself because I know He's there and that He loves me, but so often if feels like He's left me high and dry.
So this thread is basically for people to come and write out whats going on, how they're feeling, maybe we could get some prayer chains goin (I know I'll be praying for everybody who posts problems). I just think that it's important to share your troubles with others. Galatians 6:2 "Carry each other's burdens." And if anybody needs to feel free to PM me.
Love and bless you all
ScarredImage heart
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Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 9:13 pm
I can sympathize and relate. I've been struggling the past few years. It started when my health went downhill. It just got steadily and steadily worse, and I lost my closest friends because I was never able to do anything and always missed school. I started high school and the same thing happened. I felt isolated and independent of God... like he wasn't there. I had to re-do grade 10, and now I see that as a blessing. I met two great people who I treasure. However, at the time it seemed horrible. In grade 11 I met a girl who I thought was great and, in fact, she had so many problems. Of course I wanted to help, but she pulled me down. I began doing self-destructive things, such as self-inflicted injury. That same year, I knew someone who killed herself, and I felt exactly the same way. I've struggled - and sometimes still struggle with - suicidal emotions since then, espeically after a friend (who was like a sister to me) died suddenly. We hadn't spoken for a long while, and I'm still getting over that. It was just the other day that I got down before God and aksed him to take back control, that I was tired of running. But I still struggle with asking him why, and being angry at him for the things he has put me through. I think it's something a lot of people go through, if not everyone.
You're not alone. No worries. Prayers for you and everyone. always. *huggles* heart
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Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 11:59 am
I guess I should update what's going on with me now:
Boyfriend - The guy I live with (who was my boyfriend) hasn't talked to me in over a month. I miss him terribly and I'm praying hard that God will help us fix whatever it is that's between us. I've been asking for understanding lately and have seen that it's not entirely my fault (which I always thought it was) when it comes to us. That's it's partially is for shutting off the communication between us, despite my attempts to keep us talking. So now I'm just praying for the Lord to take over that situation and help us get back together again. We really were great and God truly blessed me when He brought him into my life. Right now I am currently dating one of my best friends. He's a really awesome guy and he actually wants me and my ex back together (they're best friends) so he's being really nice about my feelings. I think it's great that he's accepting and understanding. Please don't think it cruel of me to date him while I'm not over my ex. I've had some people call me inconsiderate and such for doing this but to me it feels more like God is providing for me. Cuz my current bf is really sweet and is helping me get through this hard time in so many ways it's unbelievable. And he's kinda helping me find out who I am. I lost myself while I was with my ex cuz everything was getting so bad. Praying hard though that things go ok when I get home
Home 1: My mom just got another car which is GREAT! She's been needing a second car for a long time now and she finally got one yesterday. She is also being looked at for a job. Also very good. The likelihood of her getting it is high but she's concerned cuz half her paycheck, if not more, would be going to the on-location daycare alone which could be a problem. Her bf's dad just died so things are kinda sad and crazy over here.
Home 2: I'm still not home yet *sighs*. I don't know what's going on with my ex but I hope he's ok. Mom 2 seems to be in a really bad mood lately so talking to her is almost impossible cuz she's either sleeping or working (she work's between 7pm and 9am most nights). I'm gonna try saying all this without getting mad...I'm really upset that she's been shutting me out because she makes me feel like I don't matter at all. This is the fifth time she's postponed me coming home (I was supposed to be home March 2 and now she's telling me I have to wait til June). I feel like she's putting my life on hold unfairly and for no reason. She knew I had a lot to do at home. I was supposed to do SAT and ACT testing, start my job, start driver's ed, and start my junior schoolbooks. Not to mention math. I've asked her at least once a week since March to send me my schoolbooks, it's the least she could do, and everytime she's said yes. I still don't have them. I think I've forgotten everything there is to know about geometry which I can't do unless I'm at home. Another con to this is that her son (my ex) can't do math either unless I'm there cuz she wants us to get it done at the same time. So she's putting BOTH of us behind in our schoolwork. I just wanna get home. I was planning on doing a lot this summer but now that it looks like I'm stuck doing school during the summer I have to take out some of the things I was gonna do (which is bad because I was gonna do some things to get ready for college, though it looks like she forgot that too.) So I'm really depressed about that and I get mad everytime. I find it hard to control myself lately.
Other than that I don't know. I'm really scared right now. Cuz I keep feeling like I mean nothing to everybody and like I can't do anything with my life cuz everyone is holding me back. They take control of my life for me and it hurts knowing that if I dare to speak up, even just asking can I have my schoolbooks is hard, I could very well put myself in a position to get attacked and told I have to stay here longer. I don't feel comfortable with mom 2 always changing her excuse for not bringing me home yet. I'm really happy God provided me with my boyfriend. I'd be so bad off without him. I wish he could come visit me. So yea, I'm just barely getting by here. If any of you can pray for me please pray specifically for things with my ex to work out (preferably we'd be back together again but that's the Lord's decision, not mine), my anger and depression to subside, and for me to get home and get back on track with my life. I really feel left out cuz all my friends there will tell me they're doing something awesome and I'll just be sitting here thinking "what about me?" sad
So yea, please pray sad I feel really bad. PMs are also very welcome.
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Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 1:08 pm
maybe god is trying to teach you a lesson somehow. and you mught have to figure out what he is trying to say.
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Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 5:51 pm
Lesson: stop screwing things up with the guy I'm giving you and stop complaining about the home you have when you feel like you can't be yourself when you know that going back to your mom is gonna screw things up worse.*sigh* sorry for the mean sarcasm. it just feels like thats what it is, thats all.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 7:20 pm
Two most likely possibilities I can think of.
1: Remember, God is perfect, therefor he knows what he's doing. So maybe he's not getting you back with your bf because he wants you to find someone else? Is there something religously/morally threatening about your bf? Or maybe this other guy (just skimmed over the post and saw another guy mentioned...so so sooo sorry if it seems rude to, I think I have ADD...no lie. sweatdrop ) is just better for you, or will teach you a life lesson that god wants you to learn before you and your bf can be back together?
2: It is true that god can be cruel simply for testing. Remember Job. He was practically tortured beyond belief and when he asked god why he'd allowed it, and became what seemed to be angry at god, god pretty much said- "Hey, I created the earth, and all that exists. When I made the sea and light and dark where were you?" -not and exact quote obviosuly, but in other words.- "Don't question me, don't act as if I owe you when you owe your very LIFE to me." It sounds cruel....but it's true. Atleast that's what I got from it....hmm....but I hope it's more of the first possibility. Job's life sucked for that short period of time. Then again, it could mean god'll reward you if you pull through. 3nodding Just as he did Job.
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Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 8:37 pm
Actually my ex and I were great. We had a tough time spiritually for about a month but I don't think that had to do with just us. He makes me feel like I can do my best. Makes me feel more willing and able to learn as much as I can of the Word. He's been supporting me in my walk with Christ in my tough times for so long. Recently though I've been wondering if he's gone extremist...but honestly he keeps me wanting to do my best for God. And this new guy...well...to be quite honest he's dragging a lot of sin into my life. I'm trying to get him hooked up in some of my Christian guilds hoping it'll influence him to get back with it (he goes to church and everything and he does believe and respect God...just not as much as I'd like him to) so yea...I dont know sad
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 4:56 am
Do you think maybe you're meant to guid this new guy to god, or perhaps learn to stay faithful without you ex? Once more, hopefully more so the first than the 2nd one. 3nodding
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Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 7:21 pm
guidance: yeaaaaa...I'm getting dragged into sin cuz of him. I can't really guide him. My second mom can but she seems to be ignoring everyone. I've invited him into some of my christian guilds though. But like I said, he's dragging me into sin. My ex kept me clean. That was nice smile And I am staying as faithful as possible without my ex. It's just that my ex makes me feel at my best. And he gives me so much encouragement, spiritually and otherwise. I just don't see why He took my ex out of my life. sad
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2005 2:32 pm
Wow, a lot of problems for such a short time... but on the bright side, God answered one prayer and got your mom the car she needed, right? Sometimes you just have to praise for what you've got. Like having an understanding boyfriend and a relationship with God.
Of course, there is the problem with your ex. He might have brought you up spiritually, but maybe he isn't the right one for you. And maybe your current Bf isn't either. Sometimes when we want something so badly (ie: a loving relationship with a guy) we start trying to contrive things up ourselves to get our own plan to work out. I've had trouble with that myself. I suppose we'll just have to trust God together.
GAP- God Answers Prayers: Tell Jesus Hilfigur it out.
(I thought that was the funniest thing ever, but I can't remember who's sig it was on, lol.)
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2005 3:36 pm
This is a pixel I did and I thought it might help you out a bit.
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