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X had heard the motorcyle outside and had already called Slush down from his room, since Isto was the only person she knew that owned a motorcycle and would frequently visit. It was then that Slush came tearing down the stairs, he hadn't seen Isto in a couple of days and he missed him, so the idea of him being on their porch was indeed a very good thing for Slush.

Yanking open the door, Slush grinned when he saw Isto there and immediately embraced his boyfriend, moving only to kiss Isto, allowing his lips to linger for a lengthy amount of time before pulling back and whispering.

"I've missed you love..."

Quite the opposite from his normal reaction, Isto felt his heart sink to his stomach with the kiss, but he did his best to disguise it. He managed a weak smile at Slush's words, forcing himself to meet the younger SM's eyes. "Missed you too... Sorry I haven't been around the past few days. Been busy with this and that..."

Trailing off, he fell silent, unsure how to continue. Absently he took Slush's hand in his own, normal one, staring blankly past him to the wall of the house. Finally he shook his head clear and refocused on Slush, smiling faintly and nodding towards the door. "Mind if we head inside? I need to talk to you.."

Something didn't feel right, the kiss seemed off as did Isto being so spacy and unsure of himself, so Slush gave him a curious look and another quick kiss before he led the older SM inside, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Slush figured it was important so instead of taking him to the living room where X and Zanna were, he took the two of them to a vacant 'sitting room' several rooms down from where everyone was. Sliding himself down on the couch, he motioned for Isto to take a seat somewhere, there were several chairs and more room on the couch. All the while he gave a curious and warm gaze to Isto, wondering what he needed to talk to him about.

"Sharkie... what's wrong love?"

After shutting the door behind him, Isto followed Slush through the house to the 'sitting room', remaining silent throughout the walk. He slid onto the couch beside Slush, but didn't speak even after Slush's question, simply staring at the floor. Finally he sighed softly and gave Slush's hand a quick squeeze, glancing up to meet his eyes. "I'm going to be...rather blunt about this, because I'm not sure how else to say it. Umm.... Mauli's pregnant, Slush, and... I'm the father."

This wasn't what he was expecting, and Slush was in shock and he could've swore his heart had stopped, but he wasn't paying attention. Slush was just trying to take in what Isto had just said, he felt betrayed, kicked aside, and run over several times with a truck. He was hurt, and the pain was almost unbearable, how could someone who claimed that they loved him do this...? So many thoughts were spinning in his head at once, he felt helpless and he tried to hold back tears as he finally spoke, his voice wavering slightly.

"And... what am I supposed to do about it?"

Slush stood up and let go of Isto's hand in the process, putting some distance between the two of them as he continued to try not to cry. No he will not be weak, he wasn't the one that betrayed their love, his own trust. His hurt and pain turned to hurt anger and it was evident in Slush's voice.

"I couldn't give you a family so you go and... have sex with one of your exs who I thought you had turned gay... just so you can have a child? And I thought you loved me..."

He finally met Isto's eyes with his angry and hurt ones, letting a light scoff before he continued.

"But I guess I was wrong."

"I...thought...that I should be the one to tell you.." Sighing, he pulled his eyes away, staring at the floor. Slush wasn't answering... Not surprising, all things considering. But Isto wasn't sure what to say next... It was something of a relief when Slush finally spoke, but the words stung. Isto reached weakly for Slush's hand when he pulled away, glancing up slightly as he stood. Only to immediately look away from the anger in Slush's voice.

He finally looked up, just in time to catch Slush's eyes, wincing inwardly from his words. Rising to his feet, he again reached for Slush's hand, shaking his head slowly. "No... I would never, I...we were drunk, Slush, it was a complete accident.... I do love you..." Slush thought he'd done it on purpose...? He was drunk! Had he been sober, he would've never even thought of it. It wasn't as if he could remember a thing from that night, anyway. The first bottle, and then waking up the next morning with four more on the floor... "Please, Slush, you have to believe me...."

"Yeah, that makes me feel better... 'I got drunk with my ex girlfriend so the fact that we had sex and I got her pregnant is okay.' Even if you do love me--highly doubtful considering what you did-- you now have a family and child to take care of, I am of no use to you anymore."

Slush let Isto take his hand, but made no move to respond, he was in hysterics now, a blind pain taking over his senses. X had always taught him that trust was the most important part of a relationship, without that it would never work out. Isto had just betrayed his trust, crushing it behind his back, and all Slush wanted to do was cry, but he just continued his pained ranting.

"Did the fact that you PROBABLY woke up naked and in bed with a naked Mauli give you a hint as to what MAY have happened?! Why didn't you tell me then? Why the ******** didn't you tell me then? You never get dressed after sex, you prefer to cuddle afterwards until we fall asleep... and we all know the drunker anyone gets... the more friendlier they tend to ******** get."

His anger was taking over now, shrugging Isto's hand off again as he continued to support his theory, that Isto had hid this from him, and that angered him most of all. They had been living a lie all this time then!

"Why'd you hide it from me? Tell me Isto... Tell me and then go off to your baby's momma, back to your new family."

It was at this point where Slush's voice began to break again, and he reached up to roughly wipe away the tears that were forcing their way out of him. Great, now he was ******** weak too, and to think he was actually planning on marrying Isto in the future.

Isto remained silent throughout Slush's tirade, or tried to, at least. Every so often he would attempt to speak, only to again fall silent without saying a thing as Slush continued. Isto's face was a mixture of shock and anguish, though his eyes were fixed on the floor, nearly closed as if to block out Slush's words. True, this was very much what he had expected...which was why he had been so reluctant to tell Slush in the first place. But everything was hundreds of times worse now that it was actually happening.

He winced at Slush's final words, and glanced up slightly, speaking quietly, sadly. "I do love you... And I know it wasn't okay, and I would give anything to be able to go back and change it. Mauli and I aren't getting married or anything, we're just friends,. and barely even that at times. The kid... the kid doesn't need me there. Most SMs never know their parents to begin with. At least this one'll have one."

"I know what happened... I didn't say I didn't... But I can't remember any of that actualy night...stuff itself. I can remember the first bottle...and then the next morning I woke up, and Mauli was there, and there were four more bottles on the floor. And.." He abruptly fell silent, sighing softly before continuing. "I should have told you sooner... but I didn't think anything would come of it... I didn't want you to get hurt..."

"You didn't tell me.... because... you didn't want me to get HURT?!"

Slush practically snarled, which was very rare thing for Slush, but this was the last straw.

"How the ******** does keeping something this important from me...keeping me from not getting hurt?! Cause you know what love...? I'm hurting right now, and I would've been hurting a lot less if you had ******** told me right after it had happened. If you had been HONEST with me... just told me the goddamned truth... I would've forgiven you Isto..."

He looked over at Isto, and it was clear to see that he was crying freely now, tears of hurt and anger trailing down his cheeks. Slush's hand reached into his pocket as he ran his fingers over something in his pocket before he just gripped it and let a sob escape him, which he tried to cover up with a cough.

By this time, Isto was blinking back tears himself, hardly succeeding in restraining them. Slush wasn't going to forgive him.... He'd all but said it... As much as Isto knew he should just give up, he wouldn't. Somehow they would work this out. They had to. But at the moment, words failed him.

Isto sunk back down to sit on the sofa, holding his face in the palm of his normal hand, eyes tightly closed. He didn't want to see Slush cry because of him. He didn't want Slush to see him crying. Desperately he searched his mind for something to say. Some way to comfort Slush, or some reason why he even deserved forgiveness. There must be something... some way...some reason... But nothing came, only a choked "I'm sorry..."

Slush saw Isto fighting tears himself, and he felt a stab a pain in his heart, part of him was telling himself that Isto deserved it, but the other part of him, a smaller part of him at this moment, wanted to hold Isto till they both stopped crying. Somehow, Slush had managed to stop his tears, so he walked over so that he was standing above Isto and strengthened his tone.

"Look at me Isto."

He reached down and pulled Isto's hand off of his face with the hand that had previously been in his pocket, sliding the object into Isto's open hand and closing it.

"Take it, I don't need it now. Pawn it if you so choose."

In Isto's hand was a simple gold ring, which if Isto had tried it on, would fit his left ring finger perfectly.

Isto didn't look up, he couldn't have looked up, but he allowed Slush to pull his hand away from his face. His hand closed around the ring, and without even looking he could tell what it was. He couldn't hold back the tears then, entire body shaking slightly from the sobs. His left hand remained closed around the ring, but his right left his face to search nlindly for Slush's hand. Finally he caught hold of it, clinging desperately to this one last reassurace, speaking pleadingly through his tears. "Give me another chance... Please, Slush..."

Slush winced once he heard Isto break down into sobs, he so badly wanted to hold Isto, the man he loved, but he couldn't not after this, not now at least. So instead of following his heart, which he had already cursed and blamed for putting him in this situation to begin with, Slush kept his voice as strong as possible. Even when Isto took his hand, Slush somehow managed to keep from following his damned heart and squeezing it back, instead he kept his hand motionless.

"Give me one good reason, and a simple 'I love you' doesn't ******** count."

He looked down at Isto and then looked away, mumbling softly to himself in a solem tone.

"All I wanted to do was make you happy..."

Isto searched his brain desperately for a reason, any reason, that Slush should forgive him... But as before nothing came. He couldn't think of a thing. There wasn't a reason. Slush had every right to hate him. His metal hand loosened its grip, then fell completely from Slush's, moving to hold his own left hand instead. He shook his head slightly, sobs dwindling now that the case seemed hopeless. It was over...

Mentally his thoughts returned to the lake, to the day they'd met. No, to a few days before that: His argument and break up with Mauli, his fight with Remy, his argument with Jen that very day. He walked out to the lake, was up past his waist when Slush arrived. Without looking up, Isto whispered, "You saved me..."

That wasn't the 'reason' that Slush had expected, and it stopped him from walking out right then, turning back towards Isto, he gave him an utterly confused look. Slush really didn't know what the ******** Isto was talking about.

"I have no clue what you're talking about Isto."

His tone was calmer as he was finding it harder and harder to stay angry at a sobbing Isto, a broken man that sat in front of him. Why the ******** was he feeling compassion for a man who just destroyed his happiness... a man who LIED to him. Slush was so utterly bombarded by mixed emotions that he was having a hard time keeping up with staying mad at Isto.

Isto felt slightly more hopeful when Slush didn't walk out on him, but still doubted this would change a thing. If anything, it would probably make Slush even more mad for having not been told sooner. He attempted to speak, couldn't, and cleared his throat, managing to whisper.

"Remember the day we met..? Out at the lake...? I'd had a argument fight with Mauli the previous day, nearly beat up her brother, and argued with Jen only shortly before you'd arrived, to name a few things...There were more, but they were minor... My arm stops working in deep water...something about the pressure kills it. I can't swim well... the weight drags me down. I've nearly drowned twice. I was wading out into the lake when you arrived..."

He fell silent, staring at the floor. He hadn't flat out said that he was suicidal, but it could easily be taken from his words. Now that the lake was on his mind, it didn't seem to want to leave. The water was beginning to look extremely tempting... Before Slush was in his life, he'd been about to do it. And now that Slush was back out...

Isto felt slightly more hopeful when Slush didn't walk out on him, but still doubted this would change a thing. If anything, it would probably make Slush even more mad for having not been told sooner. He attempted to speak, couldn't, and cleared his throat, managing to whisper.

"Remember the day we met..? Out at the lake...? I'd had a argument fight with Mauli the previous day, nearly beat up her brother, and argued with Jen only shortly before you'd arrived, to name a few things...There were more, but they were minor... My arm stops working in deep water...something about the pressure kills it. I can't swim well... the weight drags me down. I've nearly drowned twice. I was wading out into the lake when you arrived..."

He fell silent, staring at the floor. He hadn't flat out said that he was suicidal, but it could easily be taken from his words. Now that the lake was on his mind, it didn't seem to want to leave. The water was beginning to look extremely tempting... Before Slush was in his life, he'd been about to do it. And now that Slush was back out...

So many things flooded ((No pun intended)) Slush's mind as Isto told the story, he had been only an infant then but things were starting to make sense. Now Slush felt like he was the bad guy, but he WASN'T. ******** god this was getting harder and harder for him to be angry at Isto, even if he had hidden this from him too.

"I don't want you to die Isto...I still love you, and nothing's going to change that..."

Slush's tone was calmer but still pained as he spoke.

"But things can't return to what they were...too much has changed..."

He needed time to think, talk to his mum and maybe talk to Nathan since he was bi too. Sighing, he brought his hand up to his face and rubbed his forehead with his fingertips.

Isto inhaled sharply with Slush's words, hands tightening slightly around the ring. Slush...didn't hate him? Then there was hope! Somehow they would work things out, and things would go back to normal, and... Isto rose unsteadily to his feet and looked up to meet Slush's eyes, not even bothering to wipe the tears from his own.

"But...why can't they? I know I was an idiot, and I really don't deserve to be forgiven, but... I love you, and...and you love me, so...can't we at least try to work past it..? Isn't it worth it...?"

Slush's pain filled eyes met Isto's teary ones, absentmindedly he wiped Isto's tears from his cheeks, shaking his head when he dropped his hand back to his side. These were questions that he had to think about, ones that the answers didn't come so readily to the tip of his tongue.

"I need to think. It may take days or it may take weeks... hell it may take even longer..."

Trailing off, Slush returned his dulled, loveless and hurt eyes to Isto's own, too emotionally weak to really do much else.

"Leave Isto, when I'm ready... when I'm healed, then I'll contact you. If I ever heal..."

The last part was muttered sadly to himself as he realized just how broken he emotionally felt.

Slush's pain filled eyes met Isto's teary ones, absentmindedly he wiped Isto's tears from his cheeks, shaking his head when he dropped his hand back to his side. These were questions that he had to think about, ones that the answers didn't come so readily to the tip of his tongue.

"I need to think. It may take days or it may take weeks... hell it may take even longer..."

Trailing off, Slush returned his dulled, loveless and hurt eyes to Isto's own, too emotionally weak to really do much else.

"Leave Isto, when I'm ready... when I'm healed, then I'll contact you. If I ever heal..."

The last part was muttered sadly to himself as he realized just how broken he emotionally felt.

A reply died before Isto could even say it, hope leaving him with Slush's final words. Pulling his eyes away, he nodded slightly, murmuring a quiet "I'm sorry..." before slowly heading out of the room and back towards the front door. He didn't wait for Slush, didn't expect him to follow. Slush didn't want him there, so..it was better if he just left quickly instead of having to explain everything to X.

He paused just long enough to open the door, then slipped outside and quietly closed it behind him. Isto started towards his motorcycle, but hesitated, glancing back to the door, then down to his still-closed hand. Silently he sunk down to sit on the porch, leaning back against the house. Opening his hand, he slipped the ring onto his finger, smiling faintly through his tears before turning his gaze out across the lawn. He had nothing better to do now... He would wait.

Slush couldn't meet his eyes when Isto spoke one last time to him, instead he stood motionless and waited till he heard the front door shut. It was then he fell to his knees and let loose all the anguish he had been keeping inside of him, his body wracked with sobs of pain as he hugged himself. He felt so empty, that he had cried enough, but the tears just kept on coming.

X had heard yelling, but decided it was best that the two of them worked things out, a sigh of relief coming to her when the arguing seemed to stop. She even waited for the sounds of make out sex to start, but instead, minutes later she saw Isto hurriedly exit the house, looking very distraught. And then she heard the unmistakeable sound of a person sobbing, of her son.

Quickly she called to Nathan to watch Zanna and tore off towards the sounds of the pain, and when she entered the 'sitting room' and saw her son doubled over in sobs, she quickly moved to him and brought him into a tight embrace.

Slush clung to his mother, he was glad she wasn't asking questions, he didn't want to explain everything to her right now, that would be too close to reliving it for him. Instead he just nuzzled and cried into her neck, his arms tightly wrapped around her as he tried to soak as much comfort out of them as possible.

"Shh... Deep breaths Slushmiester, I know it hurts... but you need to calm down."

X was just confused, angry that her son was this distraught and that Isto had probably caused it, but also curious as to why she hadn't heard Isto's motorcycle leave yet.

X finally managed to get Slush to calm down somewhat, convincing him to change into his adult stage so that she could carry him to his room. As an adult Slush's sobs had a pitiful squeak to them, which she tried to calm down with absentminded petting and snugs.

Once in his room, she set him carefully down in the bed and under the covers, which is when he changed back into his fifth stage pulling the now semi worn stuffed shark against him. Under any other circumstances X would've thought this was absolutely adorable, not the crying but the position, but her heart wrenched when she could almost feel the pain he was going through.

"You sleep, we'll talk about it in the morning, over some of the Pancake King's amazing pancakes. Mkay?"

Slush only nodded as his mother tucked him in, kissing his forehead softly and giving him a reassuring ruffle of his hair, but once she left the room, he continued to quietly sob, staying awake in an almost comatose state thinking and crying.

Making her way downstairs she absently looked out the window and noticed that Isto's bike was still there. What the ******** was going on?! She sighed and maneuvered to the front door, opening it and finding a crying Isto on her porch.

"You. In. It's cold and it's late... plus there's no way in hell I'm letting you ride back in your state, not after the lake."

Though she didn't know what had happened, and she was quite angry at Isto, she did love the kid like her own son, thus caring about him a great deal as well. Besides, a dead Isto wouldn't make the situation better.

Isto didn't even bother to look up when he heard the door open, but he did open one eye as he regonized X's voice, quickly wiping away his tears. He glanced over to her and shook his head slightly, then immediately returned his eyes to the darkened lawn, the sun having set while he was still inside.

"I'll be fine out here. Slush doesn't want me inside, anyway... It's not too cold. And I have my jacket. I'll just...sleep on the porch." He fell silent, shivering slightly. Now that he thought about it, it was rather chilly. But his leather jacket was over on his bike, so he could go get it if he needed it.

X just rolled her eyes, grabbed the back of his shirt, and yanked his skinny a** into her house with relative ease, being a vampire had its benefits, one of those being strength. Kicking the door shut, she plopped the boy on the ground on his feet in front of her, glancing down at the ring on Isto's finger, causing X to inwardly scowl.

"Slush won't know you're here, you'll be in one of the back rooms, though I doubt it matters... it doesn't look like he'll be coming out of his room for a while."

She shot him a glare before her gaze softened considerably.

"Look, I'm pretty torn here... I don't know what the ******** happened except that you and Slush yelled at eachother, cried a whole shitload, and then I find you on my porch, crying... with an engagement ring around your finger. All I know is that my son and his boyfriend, who I love like my own son, are in massive amounts of pain right now... and I'm going to take care of you both till yall work this out..."

Isto's eyes snapped open, and he stiffled a cry of surprise as X dragged him inside. His legs shook slightly when he stood, but steadied after a moment. He felt her glare, though he didn't see it, and flinched slightly. He didn't need more anger tonight... Why couldn't he just sleep on the porch..?

For a while he was silent, unwilling to explain. Finally he spoke, but avoided the main subject, one finger absently tracing the ring on the other. "I'm not supposed to be wearing this," he admitted, glancing down to the ring. "Slush gave it to me... Told me he didn't...didn't need it anymore.. He told me...to pawn it..." Isto choked up, shaking his head slightly. Still shaking his head, he turned back to the door, reaching for the knob. "I should just go.."

"Because it's cold."

She said simply, as she reached out quickly and grabbed his wrist, roughly yanking him to her and into a tight embrace. Maybe he wouldn't notice that she had read his mind, well she read one of the few clear thoughts he actually had.

"Wear it. He loves you and wanted you to have it... so wear it."

Though she was shorter than Isto, she spoke with intense strength in her voice, a comforting strength, but also a strength that should be respected. X decided that she would move once Isto finally broke the embrace, and then she'd take him to 'his' room.