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 Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 5:55 pm
This is going to seem dumb, but I think I need to get it out.
This all happened a year ago. My period had been a week late, but every stick came up negative. I *felt* pregnant, and my best friend agreed that everything about my situation pointed to pregnancy. Another week, still no period. I had told my boyfriend, and was going to wait another day before going to a doctor. Another stick, another negative. Me and my guy had talked about what we were going to about a baby and everything. I had nicknamed it.
Then my period came. It was heavy (I guess because it was so late), and pretty painful. But the physical pain couldn't be compaired to the feeling of having my heart ripped out. I mourned for this child who didn't exist. No one understood, and most were like "Wooh, dodged a bullet eh?".
Even to this day I think of that day. I can remember the 12 hour warning cramps I got and thinking "Oh God No, nonononono" It still hurts, even though I know now was NOT the right time for a baby. In 6 years me and my SO will be trying for a baby, but I'm still haunted by the fact I might have a one year old on my lap right now.
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:59 am
same here, and yes i think you were pregnant, the tests dont always prove positive, blood tests prove it.
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Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 10:56 pm
wow, that must harsh. i feel for you, its never happened to me and being 15 i hope it doesn't happen for a fair while but yeah.
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Posted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 6:22 am
It is likely no help, because a loss is a loss. But sometimes in cases where there is a spontainious misscariage it is because there is something wrong. You might not be holding a bouncy 1 year old but struggling with another kind of loss like not having a healthy baby or haivng to go through the 9 months and then having a still born.
I had some tests come back when I was expecting, they indicated that I may not be having a helathy baby... the decision to hope for the best or abort a baby I wanted was devistating and a very difficult choice. (all was fine the tests were wrong and that child is a healthy almost 6 foot teenager)
Sometimes nature ends a pregnancy early to prevent a non viable entity.
It is sad, yes but you did nothing wrong, it is o.k. to greive but I hope knowing it may have been inevitable helps a little.
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Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2006 12:02 pm
I know you feel bad, but you didn't kill it. It just happened.
If you have the time and money, maybe you could talk to a psyciatrist about it.
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