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 Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 9:00 pm
"But I know how to control it!" She said sharply, moving away. Thunder cracked, accompanied by an arc of lightning that moved between the clouds. She closed her eyes and took a breath.
"No, no. That's not it... I can't remember so I couldn't have done it. Why wouldn't I remember? I know my aunt... my aunt... must have... Riven... I just... I'm not who I was, I'm who I am, dammit!" She spit the last part out. "I don't care if I used to be some queen, I don't want to know. I'm Naia, and I have a mother and an aunt and a soon to be father. I don't care about the past... I don't remember the past; it's now that matters. It's now!"
She was babbling, of course. But the train of thought was rolling through her head at breakneck speeds. Her aunt had been there during the storm. She must've done something to keep the mermaid from remembering all this. But it didn't answer the why... It didn't explain the cold dead feeling that her body was remembering from that night. The only remnant left. But why was this happening? She just wanted to be normal... normal...
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 9:07 pm
Riven sighed. He understood all too well how she felt. "I know exactly what you mean," he said quietly. "I thought I had everything all together, adn then I found out what being ME really meant. It meant dealing with responsibility. And blood on my hands," he added, biting his lip.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 9:17 pm
"Why... do we have to know?" She shook her head. "I don't want to know. I'm not that person. It's not a responsibility I want to own up to. Why be punished in this life? I'm a different person." She kept repeating it, but it didn't ring true. Finally she heaved a sigh and glanced over at Riven.
"What do you mean? What did you do?"
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 9:39 pm
"A lot. The thing that bothered me the most, though... was the killing somebody." Riven shook his head. "He deserved death, though," and a thick thread of bitterness wove through the usual flutelike tone of Riven's voice. "But it scared me deeply, suddenly remembering something like that..."
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 9:41 pm
((gah, i hate to do this sosi, but i'm near on asleep and have work... maybe the night's rest will give me a better handle on the situation, eh? i feel a little lost. ^.^))
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 5:32 pm
"It scares me that I can't remember," she whispered softly to herself.
At Riven's words, she paused, considering him. Normally it was impossible for her to think of Riven batting at so much as a fly. But the tone in his voice... she took it as the truth. "I bet it did... what... what did you do? After you found out, I mean."
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:31 pm
"Freaked out," Riven said, looking sheepish. "I guess anybody would. I yelled at those around me, and then... well, I dealt with it, I guess. This is a second chance, right? I don't have to let the old parts weigh me down and throw me off-balance." He shrugged.
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:57 pm
"Then why do I feel like I'm being pushed to find out who I was?" She shook her head, resting her chin on her crossed arms. "I've heard of so many Fa'e... and they seem to know who they were... I just..." She sighed.
"I just don't want to talk anymore. I want it to go away." She realized how childish she sounded, but didn't really care at this point. No matter the little pang of guilt, she was busy pouting. Perhaps if she'd had legs she'd have thrown a kicking/screaming tantrum.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:24 pm
Riven bit his lip and backed off a little. As much as he wanted to help, he could tell when he wasn't wanted. "I'm sorry," he offered, then fell quiet.
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Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 11:08 pm
Too late she realized her mistake. Growing up in a family where short tempers reigned and snapping at each other had the same effect as water rolling off of a duck's back... Naia sometimes forgot how others might take things. She looked up at Riven hurriedly, remorseful look on her face.
"I'm sorry, Riven. I didn't mean it like that. I ... I'm just a b***h right now. Though, that's no excuse." She gave him a tiny humorless smile. For a second, she thought about reaching out to pat his hand, but right now it might have been taken as a hostile gesture. Maybe she'd inherited some of her mother's scariness. eek
"What I really meant was, why do I need to know? Not knowing doesn't really hurt anything. It's not like it'll stop me from..." Her brain halted, gears catching, as she tried to think of an ending to the metaphor. Finding nothing around for inspiration, her eyes fell on the older form of her friend.
"It's not like it'll stop me from growing or anything."
((p.s. sosi... she knows nothing about airi and the choice. ^.^ ahhh blissful ignorance))
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 12:33 pm
"Well, I don't know - if I were you, I'd want to know about the storms and stuff... and why they happen, and if you can make them stop? To be safer. So you can understand and fix it and move on with your life, right? My Guardian said the best way to deal with the past is to hit it on the head."
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 2:07 pm
Naia heaved a grand sigh, exhaling shakily. It served to relax her, if only a little bit. She nodded, slowly raising herself up and brushing the dirt and leaves from her clothes.
"I guess you're right..."
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 6:25 pm
Riven smiled and offered one hand to help her up, rising up to his normal floating height as he did so. "Can I help you, at all, or is it something you want to do by yourself...?"
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 4:07 pm
Naia took his hand, offering him a grateful, if weak, smile. "No... I think I have to talk to a few people, now. My aunt, for one."
She caught his gaze, wide green eyes rimmed with weariness. But, beyond all that, hidden in the layers of self doubt and worry, there was a seedling of strength. Someone else had gone through this...
It may be a distasteful task, but the spirit Fa'e was right. If Naia gave up now and hid the memory, there was not good that could come of it. For the nth time, she found herself wishing for normalcy the same way Hans Christian Anderson's mermaid had wished for legs... and love.
"Let's hope the story turns out different," she quipped softly glancing up at the sky. The clouds were hanging low, but backlit by the sun. It was burning off the haze, slowly. Then, louder, she added, "Thanks, Riven... I... it's not all okay, but it's... better. Thanks for talking to me."
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 4:22 pm
"Okay." Riven squeezed her shoulder lightly again. "I'll leave you to your thoughts, then... good luck, though?" he offered, before turning and drifting out into the remains of rain.
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