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 Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 7:48 pm
Broken
I was raised from a broken seed, I grew up to be an unwanted weed.
Ever faster the time exceeds me, little harder again to remember...you.
Held a torch for you, when lightning struck me, once again, hope I died for the last time.
Only one I have a thing greater than you, little light on the sky every night.
Morning dew on the field, where I met you.
I was frozen a year, couldn't get through.
Got a sign, not a scar, on my shoulder, I am not quite the man you take me for...
Fell in love with the weakness within me.
Tried to force me the Ring and own me.
Guess you found what you'd think would oblige me, little version of me to consume you...
I'd give my everything to you, follow you thru the garden of oblivion.
If only I could tell you everything, the little things you'll never dare to ask me...
Do you really know me? I might be a God.
Show me that you care and have a cry.
How do you see me?... as the one?
Can you see my blood when I'm bleeding.
How can you love this exile, and how could I desire you.
When my pain is my pain and yours is too...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
Seven lifes of a man, passed before me.
Seven graves, one for every love I've had.
Only once I have broken my so called heart.
Only one made me see why they cry.
Will I learn how to be one of you someday?
Will I still feel the eyes that behold me.
Will I hear what you think, when you see me?
Will it tear me apart if you feel for me...
I 'd give my everything to you, follow you thru the garden of oblivion.
If only I could tell you everything, the little things you'll never dare to ask me...
Do you really know me? I might be a God.
Show me that you care and have a cry.
How do you see me?... as the one?
Can you see my blood when I'm bleeding.
How can you love this exile, and how could I desire you.
When my pain is my pain and your is too...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
Little broken , always been, a part of you belongs to me.
You were never mine to love, but this all has made it easy for me...
Burning feathers, not an angel, Heaven's closed , Hell's sold out.
So I walk on the earth, behind the curtains, hidden from everyone,
until I find a new life to ruin again
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
On this deadwinter's night. Darkness becomes this child.
Bless this night with a tear. For I have none I fear...
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 7:52 pm
In-Depth of Octavian
Personality
Essentially what is listed on the first page. I'm not precicely certain what brand of insanity you'd label him, but its under the large category of Psychotic. He's an intensity of two extremes, and can learn to cope through divertion and redirection, but overall he's damn dangerous. His internal conversations take place among his concience, inner evil, and a neutral party that would be considered the closest to normal he could ever be. Generally one or the other of the extremes wins out, and he's either in a very dramatic depression or all-out fury, not necessarily in that order. First reactions are more toward hostility at the least.
The three parts of him are actually separate mental entities that happen to converse, at least thats the best description. One takes over and the others recede into soft voices until they've had enough.
I'll cork my psychological evaluation there. You'll see exactly what I mean through either RP or my fragmented description. ^-^;
More recently, Octavian has managed to secure a love. Vestakia, who is sympathetic to his inner torment and has him at least mostly figured out. Octavian has taken to redirecting his demon tendancies to before and after he visits her. The two have produced three beautiful children, most of which will probably be significantly messed up.
The Wing Quirk
As already noted on the first page, Octavian has a fierce first reaction toward winged dusts, aspecially females. The exact reasons and implications for this are complicated, but it boils down to a distaste for something that might be seen as 'good', even though thats what he is striving to achieve for himself, a balance toward the positive. He's a little sadistic by nature, so while the aim may not be to kill the attackee, Octavian would prefer to do a little physical damage and perhaps make the victim emotionally very shaken. This primary reaction is swift and mostly involentary, and can be cut off if its intercepted early enough. As it is, Arctic dustlings are likely to get the hate twofold.
The Intercept
Hitting Octavian with the right choice of words could stop him dead in his tracks, but he's usually got people too angry or frightened to try and talk him down.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 7:54 pm
Family Dynamics
Unfortunately for his children, Octavian's brand of crazy is somewhat genetic, and easily nurtured in the right environment. Most likely they won't have the same voices or volatile reactions, but will be impared in numerous psychological ways.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 7:57 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 7:58 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:03 pm
-RP Log- The meeting of Octavian and Aletta: RolePlay Aletta Aletta had found a lovely little stream with lots of shade away from the clan lands. Everything was in an uproar. She was preening her wings and humming to herself, and between having a feather in her beak, singing. The dabbled sunlight coming from the tall oak above her was doing wonders for her coat and she had deliberatly sat where she would look the best if some one had stumbled across her little momentary retreat. Octavian Octavian flared with momentary anger. That singing. It had interrupted his self reflection. He had to seek it out and stop that noise. Just the thought of someone in a pleasant enough mood to sing absolutely ruined the internal war he was having with himself. The halfbreed just wanted to brood in silence. Isn't it enough that the sounds inside are loud..He stalked toward the sound. It was easy to follow. In fact, it was the most probable place for another creature to be on a hot day. The area had a small stream and a few trees. Octavian mentally noted the spot for future refrence. You have to be kidding me... Another winged female. Octavian's legs buckled and he growled deeply as he settled into the sand. The sudden cease of motion was to prevent himself from siezing her like he had the other. Leave her in peace. The concience still had a booming voice. Octavian clawed at the sand. She had probably seen and heard him by now... Aletta Oh, Aletta had noticed all right. But she pretended not to. She got up and stretched, flaring her wings and continuing her singing. She moved around a little bit as she was stretching and then looked directly in Octavian's direction, her wing coming up to partially hide her face, and peeked through it at him and batted her eyes. She, just like her father, was a flirt. She strutted around just a bit then, almost like pleasing him was the only thing in existance that mattered. She had no idea that he was unstable, and in her lack of knowledge, she just saw a very handsome male and wanted to impress him. Octavian Now that was something that Octavian hadn't come into contact with. Crush her. She tries to attract anyone that comes along. Octavian choked back a moan as he could almost feel snapping and blood beneath his claws. It was absolute torture. He had to close his eyes. Admittedly, her display had gotten his attention. It was what kind of attention that was in debate. No, we wouldn't have to do that, would we. Hold her down for another purpose. Octavian's clawing at the sand wasn't doing enough. The little particles were scratching the soft parts near his claws, it brought him back a little. Smile, be polite. Take your leave quickly and let her sing. The voice was softening, but it was still loud. It wasn't enough. He peeked one eye open and against all force of will, began to creep toward Aletta. Aletta What Octavian was doing looked to Aletta like he was shy or nervous about approaching her. She smiled and laughed a little, "Hello there, my name's Aletta." She swished her tail, looking as attractive as possible. She liked the way this one looked. He had two sets of wings, the horns of a demon. Oh he was lovely. She didn't move though, she would let him get comfortable in his own time. Looking away for a moment, she began singing softly to herself. She didn't quite have her father's intuition to tell her that something might be off. She was relaxed, and quite frankly, would be an easy target. Octavian She laughs at you. It was almost all the encouragement he needed. Octavian stood and spread his demon wings a little. The action made him look larger, and he was already on the large side for a dustling. For a moment he paused on his feet. The wings had caught his attention again, and the rememberance of how he hated that feature on himself returned full force. It was almost like her appearance was mocking him. He walked almost all the way up to her, eyes narrowed. The voice of reason receded. "Your name is of no consequence." He leaped at her with a low snarl. Stop.. But it was too distant. Aletta Aletta saw Octavian lung for her one second too late. She squealed and paniced. This one was dangerous, it was known now. She fell in her scrambled to get away and landed uncomfortably on one of her wings, and it was at too odd an angle to just pull it out from beneath her. This had startled her and she would have put up a good fight if she had seen it coming. But she hadn't and she was flailing around on the ground, trying to regain her balance, but having a difficult time of it just for the sheer panic that was going through her now. Octavian It was too perfect. Octavain pounced on the fallen female without a shred of hesitation, and grabbed her free wing. In essence, he had a rather effective pin going. Aletta's squealing and panic did nothing to push back his immediate response, quite the opposite. The need to cause her fear was running strong. "You have pretty feathers." He hissed. "They'd look nice scattered in the sand." Tear her. Take her. Do as you will. Reason had left him. Octavian loved the feel of keeping Aletta helpless, it rushed through his body, made him warm like a drug. Octavian licked his beak and stared into the female's eyes. Clyde Clyde listened and heard a female screaming. He's gentle nature knew this was cause for great worry. "I'm Coming!" He quietly said and stretched his legs out towards the female. "Get off her!" He yelled. For such a girly looking male he was very strong like his name implied. Strong like the Clydesdale. "GET OFF HER!" He yelled again very loud as he was about ten steps away Fenris]A shadow passes above the panicked female and her captor before a loud thump of something landing near the pair is heard. In a flash of featherfur somewhat resembling the colors of a flame, a large, winged male Dustling slams into Octavian's side with an audible grunt. The male sends himself and the halfbreed tumbling away from Aletta, until the new arrival is on top of Octavian, reddish eyes glaring down at him. Above his head is a glowing halo. It was Fenris, the only Angelic member of Aletta's household.
He glances towards the frightened female and another male, and calls to her, "Miss Aletta, are you alright? I was flying, and I heard shouting and saw you getting attacked."
[/quote]
[quote="Aletta Aletta was more afraid than she had ever been. The wing she had fallen on was starting to hurt something awful and felt like it would snap. She flapped her free wing in an effort to try and get it out of his grasp. Her eyes were wide and frightened, staring back up at Octavian. But it took her a moment to register the sound of Fenris striking Octavian, and the sudden lack of weight on her. When she did, she was on her feet, panting heavily and looking around frantically, she barely registered Fenris' voice and squeaked. Her fur was sticking out in all directions and a few of her feathers were actually bent. She was confused, but finally her eyes settled on Clyde. He looked nice, and she rushed over to him. She was terrified and leaned up against him, looking for protection. She wanted her father right now. Octavian Octavian had been ignoring Clyde and grooming Aletta's wing roughly before he was impacted. Quick enough reflexes allowed him to release the wing before he took it along for the ride. After all, he hadn't wanted to hurt her yet. The halfbreed took about two seconds to survey Fenris before deciding he hated the angel. The b*****d had interrupted his fun. With a great heave, he shoved Fenris off and sprawled to his feet, fluffing his featherfur and shaking himself off. Kill your intruder. "Yessss..." Octavian's leathery wings spread and he threw himself at Fenris the way the angel had done earlier. He put as much force as he could into it, every bit of seething anger. This dust had interrupted. He had started it. Octavian had no quarrel with him before now. The reasonable voice stood silenced. In the corner of his eye, Octavian registered that Aletta had run to the other male for protection. He nearly howled with fury at the realization. Mine. Now he didn't know who to maul first. Clyde looked strong, but Octavian had a few things going for him. He was big, he was insane, and he had four extra appendages to hit with. Of course since he was already in a grapple with Fenris, it only made sense to deal with that little problem first. Clyde Clyde cuddled the female who had just ran to him. He began to nibble at her feathers to put them back into place. She was a pretty dust, why someone would want to hurt her or take advantage of her. "It's okay, We'll take care of it." The angelic one would hopefully take care of this strange meanasing dust, He didn't want to have to fight, He was strong, but he wasn't sure how enduring Clyde could be. He watched the other two males "It'll be alright now." Clyde was devising a plan as to keep the female safe, while avoiding as much conflict as possible. Fenris Fenris hissed as Octavian threw him off and landed on him, having been distracted with asking about Aletta's welfare. His back throbbed from the initial impact on the ground, but otherwise he was alright. Besides, the Angel couldn't worry about his own welfare at the moment. Aletta had to get away from here. That was what was important at the moment. Snarling, he called out to the brown furred male, "Get her away from here NOW!" as his back paws clawed at Octavian's underbelly, trying to get the large halfbreed off. He would be able to keep the male away from the two if he could get out from under him. At least long enough for them to have a head start. Aletta Aletta began sobbing. She leaned in heavily on Clyde and tried to drown out the sounds of Fenris and Octavian fighting. She wanted to go home. Back to her mother and father, and her little boy Alaric. She should have never of left. She knew the protection of the clan was great now and she'd be hesitant to leave the lands now. She was latching onto Clyde's words of comfort and was visibly trembling. She didn't know what to do. Octavian Octavian was in a rage. The edges of his vision were actually turning red. He changed his mind. The brown and white male would have to be beaten and driven off. Vaguely, he felt claws digging at him. Fenris was fighting back. The claws stung him a little, and Octavian swiped at Fenris' chest quite a bit in response, sending in a few bites for good measure. How much of it hit skin, he couldn't be sure. But that wasn't his main concern anymore. Octavian didn't need to be told anything to know he was going after Clyde. He took to the air and was moving toward them before he realized that it was happening. She was clinging to Clyde, and crying. Crying... STOP! The force of it caused him to wobble in mid air. Octavian clawed at his head. He had to get to Aletta again. The halfbreed pulled his wings in close and swooped at the two of them. He just had to do this. He'd gotten in too deep to be able to stop now. Silently Octavian promised the booming sound he'd be good for a while, if it would just be silent for this, please. Clyde Clyde attempted to usher the female away from the scence but seeing the Halfbreed coming towards them "Run!" he tried to push the female in the opposite direction. Seeing a fly of claws at his head he closed his eyes, he felt a scarp scrap across his eye and slightly off the edge of his beak. He let off a small cry and wanted so much to not fight back. Seeing the halfbreed swoop Clyde attempted to cover the female. They were close very close if she didn't run off before. "You need to run.!" When the halfbreeds claws made contact with Clydes back it was the finaly straw and he pushed his quite a bit of streghth attempteing to throw the flying dust off and into the ground. He wasn't in his right mind so he most liekly woulnd't be able to respond as quickly. Aletta Aletta had to take a moment to respond and she was off like a bolt of lighting back towards home. Her wings were still in flying condition even though they hurt and she was in the air after a big leap. Flapping furiously, she grunted at the pain, tears dampening the fur on her face. She had to get away and she prayed that Fenris and that brown male would be okay. Fenris Pain flashed across Fenris's chest as some of the strikes hit home. They didn't sink in too deep, but enough so that now blood mixed in with his orange-yellow chest fur. It took him a moment to get up after Octavian had gotten off of him, cursing softly as he saw the halfbreed go after the other two. He lurched to his feet and his wings started beating at the air. He couldn't let Octavian hurt them. Aletta had a family to return to, and whoever this male was didn't deserve being attacked for defending a stranger. He had no desire to kill this Dustling, but he had to be stopped. As he swooped after his opponent, he raised his claws up. In moments, he rammed into the other dustling again, this time on his back. Instantly he started to claw and swipe at his shoulders and wings, an attempt to incapacitate him ((Here Fenris and Clyde kinda drop out, because of a Gaia hiccup. >< )) Octavian Octavian whirled in air. While he was in a rage and slightly incapacitated by wounds, he was well aware of his surroundings. He felt the strike of Fenris and the push of Clyde full force, and it was his speed through the air that saved him. With the spin he manadged to dislodge Fenris and keep himself from a rather nasty impact with sand, though barely. The tips of his leathery wings had skimmed it. He'd been too close to the ground to avoid impact altogether. That stung quite a bit. Catch her. Octavian was trying, he had been closing in on Aletta. He had to catch her, there wasn't a choice now. With a deep breath, he boomed back at the other two males, "You will let me GO!" His voice had lost its characteristic rasp for the one sentence, and he snarled and flashed his claws at them as he hovered in the air, bleeding from his back and stomach. It hurt, it really did, but he was genuinely too pissed at the moment to notice. His battle would have to wait. Octavian hoped he'd frightened them at least for a few seconds. All he needed was to build up enough speed to get a head start, and now he'd be ready for Fenris' swiftness. Octavian certainly hadn't expected him to be so fast. In a flash Octavian was after Aletta again. Thankfully it was only his body that was in pain, or he might not have been at full speed. And he was indeed fast. Octavian could see a little detail to her now. "Aletta!" There was a whine in his raspy voice. What had he done here? Now he was hurt, and he had two capable dustlings after him. Octavian held his stomach a little as he chased. Damn that angel..You've done it again. The halfbreed whimpered. "I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to." He shook his head hard. Just have to catch her, I promise not to hurt her again. But it was probably too late. He'd frightened her, and he didn't really remember why anymore. She'd been flirting with him. Deep in the back of his mind though, Octavian was remembering Fenris and Clyde. That battle would just be on hold, he supposed. Priorities had to be flexible, and so their beating would be later. Quietly Octavian grinned and looked at Fenris' dried blood on the claws he wasn't guarding his wounds with. It had felt good to give the angel exactly what he'd given Octavian. There would certainly be more where that came from. And this time, the reasonable voice didn't argue. Fenris had started it, and that was enough to keep the voice silent. Aletta Aletta didn't even look behind her. Her wings were propelling her through the air as fast they could. They hurt even more from straining muscles. She had never flown out of neccesity before and her lack of training was catching up to her and she was quickly wearing down. But despite the burning in her muscles she kept going, fear driving her onward. Finally, she dared a glace behind her and almost screamed, he was in the air, coming after her. KEEP YOUR WITS ALETTA! Taking a deep breath, she looked at the woods to her right. She couldn't outrun him. She'd have to outwit him. She steeled herself and banked sharply to the right, towards the woods. Finally, she tucked her wings in and dived, disappearing beneath the foliage like a bullet, sending leaves up into the air to be picked up by the wind. Once among the trees, Aletta huffed and gasped for breath as she began weaving between the trees. Octavian He was close to her, but hadn't expected her to bank so quickly. Octavian followed as closely and quickly as he could, wings beating hard. The halfbreed was fully focused on the chase. If he chouldn't catch her again, just for a minute, there would likely be problems he really didn't want to deal with. "Aletta!" He called again, louder as he dove into the trees after her. While Octavian hadn't seen exactly where she'd gone, he could hear her. "Please?" The call was almost a whimper. If he had to grab her, she'd be in too much of a wild panic to be responsive. But if it had to be done, so be it. You will never form bonds this way. Octavian whined. He felt absolutely awful for scaring her so badly. He had to explain, but the scolding he was taking mentally and the sound of Aletta through the woods were all he could here and think of. Wildly he scrambled after her. Aletta Aletta's general direction was her clan lands. She wanted to get home. She had never done this sort of thing before and she had misjudged the distance she had between two trees and clipped her wing on a branch. This little thing caused her to loose her balance and sent her tumbling to the ground, which thankfull, was soft. Her wings ached horribly. Gasping for breath, she staggered to her feet and looked around, trying to decide which way to run. The fall had disoriented her a bit and she couldn't make sense of her directions out of the knock to the head she got when she fell and just how afraid she was. "Momma... Dad...!" She could only call out weakly, she was exhausted. Octavian Octavian heard the tumble, and desperately tried to use the fault to catch up to her. He was scrambling on leaves, wishing the trees were widely spaced enough for him to fly. Air was so much easier for him than ground, for all sorts of things. He skidded to a halt behind her, breathing hard and shaking a little. Look what you have done. Octavian was horrified. "I'm sorry, please don't run." The halfbreed hadn't realized she was so young. She was calling for his parents. His concience was brutalizing him. Octavian wanted to claw his own brain out to silence it. He hoped that she'd at least wait for a moment, his lungs were aching. Octavian reminded himself to exercise more frequently in between the mental beatings he was getting. Aletta Aletta couldn't run now, she didn't have the energy for it. Her eyes were wide and terrified and she backed up, almost cowering. Alaric flashed across her mind and she worried now if she'd see her baby again. She was so scared. "What do ya want?!" Her voice high pitched and wavering. She had backed herself up against the trunk of a tree, "Leave me alone!" She was still too far away from the clan lands. They couldn't hear her. She was still breathing heavily and she was shaking from fear and exhaustion. Octavian He tried to make his posture as unintimidating as possible. Every step he took toward her made the scolding in his head unbearably louder. She was trapped, he knew it, but he couldn't dwell on that right now. The urge to capture her would flare, and he would be, in essence, royally screwed. He wouldn't have mental peace for weeks if he attacked again now, and that scared Octavian more than anything. "Just to apologize." The halfbreed found himself looking over her again. His body tensed and he forced himself to sit. Finally he had come to the conclusion that she was attractive, and thats probably why he had pinned her in the first place. Sometimes Octavian didn't understand himself. Maybe he was just born cursed, it was as likely an explanation as any. "I'm sorry," He whispered, "I am." The voice quieted a little, and Octavian could think. Desperately he wanted to be close to Aletta, apologize again, beg for forgiveness. But she'd probably beat him silly in fright, and he didn't want to snap again. What exactly set him off sometimes, he'd never know. Aletta Apologize?! Aletta had no idea what to do. She knew she was trapped and that if he decided to do something, she would have the energy to fight him. She just wanted to away, so she squeaked, "Okay." She was disheveled, a complete contrary to how she looked earlier. She was missing a few feathers now and she was just all around looking like a mess now. Her legs trembled and it was all she could down to keep standing upright, "Please... leave me alone... You... You've said.. your apology.... please... go away." She was crying again and hiccuping. She needed her mother right now and wanted to check on her little dust pan. Octavian Octavian wasn't one to leave it alone yet. She was crying again and he was absolutely ashamed. He put a claw to his head and winced with the pain of his scolding. Brute, devil, hated. He inched a little closer, barely off the ground. It was awkward, but he was having a little trouble moving. Octavian was within touching distance. "Please don't be afraid of me." It was pleading, tears were coming to his eyes. His wings drooped and he wanted nothing more than to bury his face in her chest and cry and beg her not to hate him. Octavian didn't care that she was a mess, the winged female still looked pretty to him. It was a complete reversal of his earlier behavior. Ask for forgiveness. Octavian winced again and a tear did fall from his eye. "Forgive me, Aletta." Aletta Aletta wasn't about to relax, she wanted to just get away. She had to think smart now. So swallowing hard, she tried to speak again, only to give a small whine. She tried again, stuttering over her words, "I... I, I... I wa-want to go home!" She didn't like the way she sounded. But it was clear she just needed time to calm her nerves, she was too much of an emotional and physical wreck. She noticed though, the tears. There was something wrong with him. Something very wrong. He had been so... brutal to her earlier. And now he was asking forgivness? The thought was now making her angry, and she sputtered, "NO! GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT YOU NEAR ME." She was more like her father than she had believed, she wasn't one to forgive easily as she thought she was. Then again, she had never encountered anything like this. She was shaking with more than fear and exhaustion now and found in her the ability speak again, "You wouldn't have to ask me to forgive you if you hadn't ATTACKED ME in the first place! You're a horrible, horrid monster! GET AWAY! Just leave me alone! Go away! Go away! Go awwaaay...!" The little ramble had ended in a pathetic whine. She collapsed finally, she'd used up what energy was holding her legs up for that bit of clear speaking. Octavian Octavian wailed and literally burst into tears. Aletta had struck him with a forceful blow that might've seemed cruel had it not been for the circumstance. He curled up at her feet and shuddered. The big halfbreed was whimpering and shuddering with the force of his crying and utter defeat. She hated him, she really did. He pawed gently at her feet but couldn't speak anymore. It was true there were things wrong with him, lots of things, but he was almost tragic in a way. Octavian never understood consequences until it was too late. With a choke he looked up at her, face stained with tears. He'd pressed himself into the ground and refused to lift his chin from the ground. She'd broken any resolve he might've had to make amends, and he'd turned into a this, unable to speak to defend himself. You have no defense. You'll fail every friendship and love you attempt. Octavian hid himself under his front legs. He was an embarrasment. He was still shaking uncontrollably, frightened she'd lash out at him again. "Please..." It was softer than a whisper, all the volume he could manage. "I can be a monster, I can." He had to agree. His mind was forcing him to agree, to say anything to make it better for her. "I don't mean to, its hard for me..." How could he explain to her what went on within himself? Even Octavian didn't fully understand it. He was two dustlings, and yet he was not. It just happened that there were two extremes of him, and they were the most shown parts of his personality. Sometimes he had to balance the two to keep them both happy, that was extremely difficult. "Just.. please.. can you make it stop screaming at me.." Octavian had taken to clawing at his own head again. It was the only thing that might distract him a little. Aletta She was on ground level with Octavian and watched him and what he did in response struck a cord in her. She opened her mouth to say something, and then closed it, she felt sorry for him now. Pity. Something her father had low opinion of. He had pity for no one. And didn't encourage the emotion. But she felt it none the less. She was a mother now and that nature was starting to push forward, to comfort this one and tell him everything was okay. She sighed and then crawled forward. She was close to him now and leaned her head against his shoulder, "Shhh..." She had to think just how odd this might have seemed. She lifted a sore wing and basically hugged Octavian. He had invoked pity and compassion in her. This could go either way though, becoming aggressive towards her again could set Aletta against him premanently. But the thought in her mind.... he would not be a good mate, what if his offspring inherited his madness? She wouldn't see a relationship beyond friendship with this one if things went well. "Shhh... I'm sorry... it's okay." Octavian Octavian shuddered in almost a spasm as she touched him. Pity seemed to be something he managed to get, other beings feeling sorry for him. He wasn't sure he wanted it from this pretty girl, so Octavian lurched away and tumbled back to the ground, eyes half open. The halfbreed was choking back tears still, but at least he was regaining a little composure. He wasn't meaning to be a drama queen, he was just very, very confused. "Its alright, Aletta." His voice was still hushed. "My name is Octavian." Through the haze of his emotions, he remembered he hadn't told her his name yet. It was only fair to do. Gulping, he continued. "Its my fault," The tears threatened again, and he bit them back, "I.. I can't help it sometimes. Most of the time I guess." Why was he opening up to her, anyway? It is your apology. You Owe her the TRUTH. The return of scolding got another whine from Octavian. "Its because of your pretty wings. I like them, and I don't like them. Call it a quirk." He was in a rare sane moment. Octavian prayed he could keep it. Aletta Aletta let him pull back and she looked up at him. And she listened. She wouldn't interupt this... seemed like a confession. She clicked her beak at the comment about her wings. Standing again on shakey legs, she groaned as she was forced to pull her wings against herself. She had to make the connection to the position she was in and the one her father was in. Something told her that he was trying to flirt with Toril like she was with this one. "I..." Before she continued on, she looked Octavian over, "I like your name...." She still had no energy, and it was clear nervousness was still with her, "I... apologize myself for what I said." She felt about it herself, "I... need rest..." She didn't make any mention of him scaring half to death. And she looked at him rather shyly, "Octavian, maybe we should part ways for now. Both of us it seems, needs a little time to regain our wits and rest." She gave a weak smile at this. Octavian Octavian huffed like a tired puppy might, and nodded. He needed to sleep, his body was aching, and still bleeding a little. The wounds, he'd forgotten about them. It reminded him he needed to heal, to take care of a few things. At least he'd made some sort of amends. Scrambling to his feet, he took stock of himself. He needed a bath, badly. "Thank you." He smiled a little and walked close enough to her to nuzzle the edge of the featherfur at her cheek before starting to wander back from approximately whence he came. Of course, the move of affection got the equivalent of a club bludgeon to his brain from his concience, but it had been totally worth it. "Goodbye for now then, Aletta. I trust I'll see you again." Octacian looked over his shoulder and grinned as he walked out of sight, a grin that was both menacing and kind.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:11 pm
-RP Log- The meeting of Octavian and Vestakia:  RolePlay]
[quote="Vestakia The sun was high in the cloud-infested sky by the time Vestakia awoke from her slumber, and as she looked outside the Stardust Lab windows, she could see that the clouds would eventually overtake the sun and pour rain over the desert. Rain was a rare occurrence, and she absolutely loved it. I have a few hours to kill until then, she thought, and scratched at the door until Professor Feline let her outside. "Come back before it rains!" she called, but Vestakia had other plans in mind. She leapt through the blocks of houses, passing Sarah's house and the house Caiden resided in. Well... where he -normally- lives. He's still in the lab, all broken. Heehee!" Her thoughts dissipated, however, as she rounded a corner and saw a dustling she had never seen before. Octavian Octavian jumped a little. He'd been staring at the sky, watching the clouds curiously and thinking about his previous encounters when he wandered out. None of them had gone well, at all. He'd ended up getting a mental brutalization for every dragon he had met, which was not pleasant in the least. And now a yellow and black dust had popped up. Octavian looked at her, and pressed himself to the ground. Silently he begged that she'd just walk away, pass him over like he wasn't there. Of course that probably wouldn't happen, Octavian wasn't that lucky. Though this one didn't have wings, and almost all the other dragons he'd seen thus far had sported a pair. Hopefully that meant something would be different, but Octavian doubted it. Vestakia Vestakia raised a brow at the hulk of a figure, now lowering himself enough so that even she was taller than him. She liked him already; feeling tall was something she loved. She wasn't special, nor winged, nor had any powers, but what she had was experience and a thirst for power over others. However, his dual pairs of wings and interesting colors made her wonder why she had never noticed him before. "Who are you?" she asked, with no happiness nor coldness in her voice. There was barely any tone in it at all. Octavian Octavian clinched his beak and growled softly. He had better things to do than answer questions, like decide just what was wrong with himself. Another interruption of self reflection, but he swore to the quiet, nagging voice that he wouldn't touch her. Just one introduction that didn't lead to disaster might be enough to quell his self hatred for a little while. It took a massive willpower not to even hear the other voice, and the evil side was rather irritated that it was being ignored. "Octavian." His voice was soft, strained from the effort of answering instead of snarling, and raspy as usual. Vestakia Vestakia sat down and took a relaxed look at him. She could tell something was bugging him, and despite not normally giving a care either way, she was bored and Caiden was in no shape to bother. She was basically left with no one, or a stranger-- or this new guy, 'Octavian'. Vestakia preened her tail carefully. "Well I'm Vestakia. Apparently named after some female hero in some book my owner read. Or so she tells me. I'd have much rather been the villain, or even a random murdered person. Not the hero." Vestakia's eyes were glued on him, even as she began to sharpen her claws against a small rock stuck in the ground. She was hoping a bit of 'friendly' conversation would loosen him up. Talking was the greatest time-killer she knew. "What are you doing?" she asked, again with no hints of anything in her tone. Octavian Keep calm, you brute. Octavian dug at the sand with his hind claws. Peace, thats all I want. "Quite honestly, dear lady," He was being polite in the best way he knew how, but the voice was still strained, "I'm trying to convince myself that its not worth the unavoidable results of attacking you, just for the moments of enjoyment." Honestly is the best policy. Octavian told himself to shut up. He grinned a little, but was still quite glued to the ground. "I would be mostly the villain. But what does it mean when you are both the villain, and striving to be a hero?" He was opening up a little, but the resulting relaxation was leaving Octavian open to persuasion. She was sharpening her claws. Briefly Octavian wondered if she knew what it was like to be held helpless in the grasp of another. Vestakia Vestakia stood back up, clicking her newly-sharpened claws against each rock she encountered as she sidled up against the beautiful beast. "You'd enjoy attacking me?" She knew she was greatly risking a fight, but at this point in her life she enjoyed new red badges of courage and all the stories she could tell her children some day. If she ever had any. With a haughty flick of her tail she grazed her body against Octavian's, and she could feel the intense heat inside of him-- it felt like it was kicking and screaming to get out, but something was keeping it back. "You're an interesting one," was all she could say; she wasn't a therapist by any means, and if anything, she was better at incensing angry dustlings rather than soothing them. Octavian Octavian flared as she touched him. For a moment all he could see was crimson, and he bit at Vestakia's tail out of reflex. She had touched him. No one had been that brave, or perhaps no one had the chance to initiate contact. Either way, Octavian was rapidly losing his grip on what was right, and what was wrong. "Yes." He hissed, raspy voice amplifying the effect of his tone. "I would enjoy attacking you, Vestakia. I wonder if you know what it feels like to be helpless." Calm, brute. You'll harm another, cause more anguish for yourself. The large halfbreed inhaled deep, and fought to regain his grounds. He couldn't do this, not again, but she was going to bring it on herself if she wasn't careful. Vestakia Vestakia, for whatever reason, let him bite her tail. She could feel the bones shudder under the bite, but nothing broke-- blood was shed. She narrowed her eyes at him, but let him speak. "Helpless? Oh, I know how it feels to be helpless. I'm the oldest damn dustling here, and look at me. I'm nothing. New blood like you comes along and shows us old goats what's what. I'm nothing without a pair of wings or an extra pair of horns on my head. How can I defend what's mine?" She began to feel her own blood boil. "This place was once mine and now I have to share it with hundreds of others! My beautiful sky-- blotted out by those dragons blessed with wings. Where are mine? Where did my blessing go? And I'm helpless to do anything about. My lab-- it was once mine! My owner-- she was mine! I didn't have to share!" Vestakia closed her eyes and forced her veins to stop pulsating with anger. "What have you got, boy? A little anger management problem? My owner probably has a pill you can take to get rid of it. What have I got to solve my problems? A bare back and a life doomed to the ground." She let her bloodied tail whisk across the halfbreed's chest. "Helpless-- that's funny, dear. I only wish we could trade bodies." Octavian Octavian was in complete shock. Vestakia had brought up a point that he hadn't thought of in the least, and while her tone left him more than irritated, he didn't feel the need to strike her for it. He looked up at the darkening clouds. The sky was clear right now, and Octavian understood why. Sometimes desert storms carried lightning, he heard it somewhere before. Lightning, he knew, had to be ten times worse than a zap from Volt. "I believe my problem lies beyond anger management." He sneered, there was still a desire to toy with her, even though she had caught his immediate interest. Those sentiments of hers sounded oddly familiar, though the translation wasn't exact. "Duality. That is the best description for me." Octavian leaned down and lapped the blood from Vestakia's tail. He liked the taste, probably more than was normal. "This is me holding back the immediate desire to rend your tail off the rest of the way, since that would not only leave me in complete distress and horror toward myself, but it would also bring wrath from others." Octavian was just stating it. The desire was mild, but it was there. Manageable. "As for your defense," He continued in his rasp, "You are not incapable." That was obvious. Vestakia had a flare to her that Aletta had lacked in Octavian's encounter with her. The halfbreed tilted his head and grinned. "If you want to fly, I can always carry you." Octavian was both honestly suggesting it, and trying to push Vestakia's buttons. If she laid a claw on him, it would be over, he'd have no control left. Vestakia Vestakia found the touch to her tail both comforting and stinging. Odd. And she was finding the threats tiring, however real they were. "Duality? If you really wanted, you could overcome it. You must not really want to." It was her turn to push the buttons. "And if the only way I could fly was to ride upon a winged back, I'd rather have my limbs removed and be reduced to a dustling snake. At least then I'd still be on my own... the only way I could get back what was originally mine is to kill off everyone, don't you see? And how could I accomplish that? I'm just..." she trailed off, and sighed. She was leaving herself so ridiculously vulnerable that her brain was commanding her to leave, but her heart was telling her to stay right there. Vestakia brought her reddened tail to her face-- just a few moments ago she had been preening it, now it was wet with blood and a few patches of featherfur were gone. She noticed them on the ground and grumbled. "I don't think you're as helpless as you seem. You should find more friends, no matter how difficult it is. Friends make everything better, or so I'm told." Maybe that's why I don't have any. I probably don't deserve them. "I'm just selfish, so no one ever wants to be my friend. So I push them away, and taunt and jeer, and inwardly wish I was one of them." Octavian Killing everyone off? Now there's a thought. Silence, evil, hateful, undeserving even of conversation. And there it was again, the same old go around in his mind. He wished to anything and everything that Vestakia had been right, but there really wasn't much way to overcome, just delay. Octavian clicked his beak, which was more like a bite at air. His threats weren't idle in the least, but these weren't really threats yet.. just statements. Vestakia had been curious, so he would tell her. "Oh no, Vestakia, there isn't much help for me." Octavian turned to stare at her, grinning. "And who said you really had a choice, anyway." He inched close to her and mock nuzzled her cheek. "We both know that if I wanted, you'd have no choice but to fly with me. But I must not really want to." The halfbreed chuckled quietly, and returned to his pressed pose in the sand. He was nearly enjoying this conversation, though he couldn't figure out what course of action he wanted to take. Half, of course it would have to be half, of him wanted to rip that smugness from her, and the remaining half wanted to tell her that he knew exactly how she felt, and why she felt that way. Octavian could talk to her through sunset and into the night, if he'd really wanted. "I am not helpless, you're right. I never argued that I was helpless. Sometimes I wish that I were, that would change a few things." For a moment the thought of turning his anger on himself seemed like a good solution, but that would come to nothing in the end. He'd end up broken and hateful, with no one to blame, as usual. Octavian pawed at the ground thoughtfully, a melancholy feeling taking over him. No one would befriend him, it was becoming painfully clear. That fact was a wound for him. Maybe Octavian was incapable of friendship. It would certainly make sense, he was incapable even of self control sometimes. Then again, it was probably impossible to push him away unless Vestakia put more effort into it than it was worth. Octavian was confusing himself now. Did he want a friend, or was it just another disaster waiting to happen? Quietly he stated, "If I did make a friend, how would I be dealt with? There's little to do to quiet a madman. Your problem is more jealousy than madness." Vestakia Vestakia could now fully feel his duality; she had just felt as though she was above him, and he was the ground on which she was standing-- but now his condescension made her feel low. It was really confusing, but at the same time, it was intriguing. She couldn't help but frown at his last comment. So here we are, two friendless dustlings with different reasons for inner hate but suffering the same result."I don't even know what a friend really is," she confessed, "so I can only speculate on how one would deal with you. Your friend would probably need to be stronger than the average dustling, willing to put up with it until you found the power to control your inner demons." Vestakia looked up at him-- really looked. She let her eyes glue themselves right into his, and let herself feel the confusion inside. Vestakia knew at that instant that she could make a wonderful friend, but even after opening herself up, and having Octavian open himself up as well, her pride would never allow it... As the first rain drops began to fall, soft, warm, and scarce, Vestakia once again leaned in against the beast that she had just begun to understand. She knew it was probably still a bad idea to get so close, with his claws right there, (she gulped inwardly), but she let her guard completely down. If you need to beat me up, so be it, she thought, and pictured herself on the same hospital cart-bed that Caiden currently resided on. Octavian Octavian twitched. Whether it was from raindrops or another sudden round of contact was uncertain. He tucked his claws back, so that it would be difficult for him to strike quickly. She was vulnerable, and the ease in which he could cause her distress was evident. Very evident. One thought of the days before though, and his harshness quieted. Octavian had done such horrible things, and he reminded himself that just one positive moment might at least make the memories bearable. There had to be a way to stay his inner fury, even if it wasn't a permanent solution. "You would think.. that a friend of mine would need to be strong. Or maybe, one would just have to be quick-witted and thoughtful. Understanding, maybe even compassionate." Loving. But I do not deserve that, nor will I have it. Impossible goal. Octavian felt her tension against him. So, he had made an impression. He smiled a little, lifted his head, and slowly, gingerly, wrapped a wing around Vestakia. Like everything he did, it could serve multiple purposes. Vestakia As the rain began to fall a bit heavier than before, Vestakia began to feel everything-- the shield around her soul, the protective glass case holding her heart prisoner, everything-- all melt away with the rain. The small sign of affection given to her by a dustling with such monstrous thoughts inside of him truly moved her, and she could feel doors opening inside of her that she thought had been locked up for good. "Octavian..." she whispered, and looked at the ground, her own warm tears mixing in with the sky's. She blinked them away, and huddled closer to him. Even if the feeling wasn't going to last forever, and she might turn back into the crotchety old dustling she had become, at the time she just wanted to stay right next to this newfound friend forever. "I want to be your friend." Vestakia wasn't sure if it was even her own voice that said it. Maybe she just thought it. But as she felt the air escape her beak, she knew -she- had just said it. And it felt so right. He could kill her right now, and she'd be happy-- with all these new feelings swirling around in her heart, she'd cheer him on with her last breath. Octavian For a moment Octavian wanted to cry. He wasn't sure he'd heard her, but asking to repeat would ruin a tender moment, one he desperately clawed for deep down, but generally was too brutal to ever achieve. The falling rain masked the one droplet that managed to find its way from his eye, and he was thankful for it. He wondered if she had really started to understand both sides of his thoughts. Hopefully, Vestakia was as observant as she seemed. "Now that," Octavian replied quietly, "Is something I never thought I would hear, Vestakia." He pulled her tighter against him with the wing, realizing he'd chosen to use the feathered one. That was odd for him, but a feather could do no harm. His claws stayed curled and tucked under the bulk of his body, where they could do no harm either. If he had to tear himself apart, Octavian swore he would not touch this female in even a playfully rough way. It was a resolve that might someday end up changing his entire outlook, but for now, it was a small step. Vestakia Vestakia finally opened her eyes. If I said it, it must be true. With a small sob, she buried her face into his feathery side, angry at herself for wasting all of these years trying to be some kind of tough guy that she knew she could never be. "I... I..." She couldn't bring herself to say another word. With one last final gaze into his eyes, she tore herself away from him, choking out a final "goodbye" as she dove under his wing and ran for it-- she was wet with rain, and she slipped, but she got right back up and ran right for the lab. I'm running away... but I can't stay there any longer, I'd ruin it! No, I need to get home and... just, get home
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:17 pm
[RP Log] The third meeting of Vestakia and Octavian.If cuteness makes you sick, stop now. This was the most intense RP ever, and it actually made the Wuffie cry whilst typing parts of it. Thats what I get for being too into character. *Grumble.* RolePlay Vestakia The sun snaked its way through one of the lab's upstairs windows and made its way right into Vestakia's eyelid. She groaned inwardly and opened her eyes, then rolled over to get out of the sunlight. She realized that big hulk of a dustling was gone. With a start, Vestakia leapt onto her feet and looked around. He wasn't there. "Where is he..." she mumbled to herself, and looked down. One of Octavian's large plumes sat still on the floor. It was a primary wing feather-- it wouldn't have fallen off on its own. "Octavian..." Vestakia leapt down the stairs of the lab and looked around. Not there either. With her tail dragging on the floor, she slowly crept around the lab, looking everywhere for him. It was useless to check in cabinets, she knew-- but she couldn't help herself. The lab was obviously empty. With a heavy heart Vestakia slipped outside and sat down on the ground near her lab, where Professor Feline's garden grew. Where IS he?Octavian Octavian was wandering the outside on foot. Unusual for him, but he did not feel the inclination to fly. The run-in with Fenris had been.. enlightening so to speak, but the matter still wasn't closed. Octavian wanted to provoke the angel further, and it would be on his primary agenda. Now, he was simply in a slow zigzag back to the lab where he could see Vestakia again. She must have awoken by now, it was well past noon. He stretched one wing and looked where he had pulled the large feather from it for her. Smiling a little, he hoped it had told her that he wouldn't be gone long, but there was always a possibility that it hadn't. And then she might be angry with him, or hurt. Octavian frowned and lashed his tail. He picked up his pace a little toward the lab, not quite breaking into a jog. The apologies were already at his throat, though he did hope he didn't have to use them. Perhaps when he was closer to her again, he wouldn't be so mentally thrown off balance. It had taken such an enormous effort to choke back complete hatefulness toward the angelic dragon, and now the opposite had taken root. Octavian glanced at his healing leg and imagined a duplicate wound on the other foreleg. Well, if thats what it took to stay balanced, so be it. Vestakia As she lay in the sun, she twirled the feather around in her claws, being careful not to let it get dirty. Foxes and dustlings could be seen from the corners of her eyes as she stared down at the feather-- and despite them keeping their distance, Vestakia wouldn't have even said anything if they stepped right over her. It wasn't that she was feeling rejected, she was just lonely and confused. She had always been a loner, but waking up alone this morning had caused her to question herself. A strange female approached Vestakia. Vest looked up, and realized the arctic dustling had returned. "What?" she asked, indifferently. Koro cocked her head. She obviously forgot who Vestakia was, and shrugged it off. "Hello," she replied, bowing, her four wings spread gracefully. "What is your name?" Vestakia rubbed her cheek against her pink feather. "You moron," she answered, "I'm Vestakia. Now, shoo. I'm waiting for someone." Koro stepped forward and nudged at Vestakia. "You're taken?" she asked, saddened slightly. Vestakia raised a brow. Who the hell did she think she was? "Is that really any of your business?!" Vestakia growled, and kicked a cloud of sandy dust up at Koro before leaving to roam the village in search of her Octavian. Koro spluttered from the dust, but once she regained her composure, she decided to follow the little golden dustling. After all, her color was the same as her own and it attracted her like Vellir had. Octavian Octavian was close to the lab. He was moments later than he wanted to be, since he took the time to stop by his own home and steal something off of Wolf's shelf. She would never notice anyway, and it would be something nice to give as an addition to apology.. if that was needed. He rounded the final corner and came to a screeching, glowering halt. The large halfbreed skidded in the sand, a snarl catching in his throat as he dropped the item he'd taken the time to nab, and glued himself to the ground on top of the special trinket. There was absolutely no way he could allow himself to stand right now.. one pair of feathers was bad enough.. two was going to drive him mad. Octavian couldn't speak, he couldn't see anything but yellow feathers raining onto barren sand. It was as inexplicable as all his thoughts, and as immideate a change as a lightswitch. His beak found a rock, and crunched down on it as a bad substitute. Stone didn't snap in the same satisfying manner as flesh did, and he was more than aware it had no give under the force of his jaw like it should have. Octavian began to shake in place. The fact that this female was bothering Vestakia.. asking if she was taken.. Mine. doubled and doubled again his distress. His tail was a snake on the ground, writing with a mind of its own. The rest of him was stone, to prevent the most horrible reaction brewing. Raining feathers and blood. Octavian bit the rock harder. Vestakia Vestakia stopped walking ahead and turned-- she could hear the familiar click click click as Koro followed her. She could've flown, but she was too busy sizing the female up. As was the custom in the north, Koro would follow Vestakia around in an attempt to flatter her and make Vestakia her own. However, this one was a bit tricky. And nothing like Vellir. "Leave me ALONE!" Vestakia growled, and slapped another tailful of sand at Koro. With the reflexes of a cat, Koro shielded herself with her wings, and did not reply. But she didn't move, either. Looking back at Koro gave Vestakia a glimpse back at the lab-- and off to the side-- was that him?! Vestakia's eyes widened. "Octavian!" she cried, and began to run back to him. The loneliness subsided. She'd soon be in his wings again. And then Koro stuck her claw out and Vestakia fell right over. She hardly had any time to react, so she fell right over, and the perfect primary feather Octavian had left her dropped right into the dirt. "I like you," Koro whispered down at her, smiling. She was just so damn oblivious to their ways. Octavian His eyes widened. If Octavian could have killed Koro with a glare, this one would have obliterated her on the spot. Mine. Every ounce of the flare started in him. He was standing. Oh.. that wasn't good at all. He was grinning wildly. That probably wasn't good either. When had he gotten to his feet? When had he told his legs to move forward? It didn't matter, and Octavian couldn't remember. His movements were deliberate, swift, and very much in Koro's direction. Octavian was blinded by replaying images of Vestakia falling to the ground. Her fault. The pulse of his heart was in every cell, he was so angry his body was beating in time with the fury. He knew he was getting close to Koro, he knew his claws were raised. And he knew he must look utterly mad, worthy of being institutionalized or worse. Those thoughts were shadows though, the only thing on the forefront of his mind was his pulse and his claws. Octavian was certain that at that moment he could take all the wings from Koro in a flash, and he felt himself leaping at the new female dustling in complete blinding fury. Vestakia Koro's words flew over Vestakia's head; as she spoke, she realized Octavian was advancing with a glare so strong it emanated hate. Vestakia then understood how messed up Octavian really was. As she scrambled away, Koro cocked her head and turned to face the hulking figure known as Octavian. She sniffed the air as he approached, still seemingly oblivious to his intent, and frowned. A male. He would never do. She backed up slowly, all four winged spread in an attempt to look bigger and more frightening than she really was. Hideous troll, how dare you come between my prey and I? Right before Octavian's claws landed on their targets, Koro dived forward with her head lowered, picked Octavian up between her huge horn and her forehead, and used the force of his attack to toss him directly aside-- away from Vestakia, still sweetly trying to protect her from harm. She hadn't a clue they were trying to see each other. Vestakia watched in horror. She hated the arctic with a burning passion-- [why couldn't she have STAYED up north where everyone acted like a freak, just like her?] but it was bad if someone died. Koro stepped back from the male and puffed up her feathers and wings, trying desperately to appear even bigger than before. "Fool!" she yelped, and she turned back to Vest, "I'll protect you, my love!" "IDIOT!" Vestakia cried, "Get out of here!" Octavian Burning. That feeling, its so intense. Octavian landed slightly awkwardly, but on his feet. He flared all four of his own wings and uttered the most intense of snarls at Koro. Octavian now looked absolutely enormous, and it was coupled with his fury. The expansion of the wings, like everything else he was doing now, hadn't been directly intentional. It had happened, a direct result of his intensity. All that made up Octavian at that moment was muscle and anger, he could feel it. Red clouded his eyes. "Mine." The voice was a low hiss, soft and firey. Octavian advanced slower. She would not toss him with that horn again.. he would break it off if he had to. Visions of yellow impaled on its own horn. Yes, that will do. It was unfortunate that Octavian hadn't heard Vestakia. His ears were a rush, the only thing they were picking up at this moment was the thrum of his own body. Never had he been so engulfed. Vestakia Koro's act of the gallant knight slowly withered as she heard Octavian. She could clearly hear the word "mine" despite it being a low, hateful hiss, and it made her wings droop a bit and her knees buckle. So this was the girl's man. She could never compare to him! But she deserves a real woman, not a psychopathic male like this! He's a joke, a fool! A jester in the court of Koro!With her last surge of courage, despite her brain telling her to fly away as fast as possible, Koro leapt at the advancing male with her claws and horn in position to skewer his face. Vestakia covered her eyes. So many mixed emotions-- she couldn't tell whether she should let the stupid arctic get what was coming to her, or stop Octavian from putting more guilt on his conscience. But being called Octavian's dustling with his own voice, despite the fear it incurred, filled Vestakia with a sense of obscure happiness. Octavian She tries to take it from you. Yours.I see. I'm moving.Faster! Ferociously!Octavian's vision returned as Koro started her charge. The horn was closest. He raised his claws in defense, and snapped them forward and sideways at Koro's large horn while throwing the bulk of his body somewhat to the side with his large wings. It was a move he couldn't have pulled off without the adrenaline, the lack of control over himself. Koro was trying to kill him, and run off with his love. Love. Had it been so, this quickly? Certainly it must be, the hatred toward Fenris was nothing compared to what Octavian felt now. At this moment, Octavian was only a body. He had no mind. He was movement and reaction. Certainly the voices were there, but when had they ever left him alone. Snap it. Maul her. Keep what is yours.I'm trying, I cannot move faster, I am energy incarnate.Octavian braced himself for the coming impact with the horn. Vestakia Vestakia heard the clanging of talons against talons as they made impact-- a sound worse than nails against a chalkboard. She shuddered. Koro hit the claws with her own, the sound ringing in her head, and his claws didn't give at all. She practically smashed right into them, and her horn stopped just an eye's width away from flesh. She dropped back onto her feet. "Monster!" she cried. He was a wall. She'd never be able to penetrate it, and she knew that now. She was terrified. Within a moment she had leapt towards Vestakia, kissed the top of her head with a gentle peck from her snout, and took to the air faster than Vestakia could look up. She's escaping... Vestakia thought, with relief. She looked up at Octavian, but she could see he wasn't himself. "Octavian," she whispered, still lying helplessly on the ground, afraid of what he might do. Octavian Octavian leaped once in chase, a low growl escaping him. There was Vestakia on the ground before him. Vulnerable. Quickly he silenced the sound of it, Octavian had needed to rake at Koro more, to chase her, the terror in Koro hadn't been nearly enough, but the sight of Vestakia there stopped him competely. Kiss should have been her last. Octavian began to shake so violently he was nearly vibrating. He was a monster, it was true, but he couldn't help that. It was apparent there was no cure, only treatment. Breathing hard, Octavian lowered his head, helpless to overcome his intricate blend of emotions. He leaned down and plucked the now battered feather from the ground. Previous gift, broken now. There may have been some meaning to it, but Octavian ignored it. He shook the feather a little and set it a distance from Vestakia's feet wordlessly. Monster.The single word echoed and a new wave of tremors racked Octavian. He hadn't ever intended to show that to her, even if it had been in love. Suddenly afraid of what he had done, Octavian turned on his heavy, unsteady limbs and made a path back toward his stolen trinket. She wouldn't take it from him now, he was certain. Vestakia would be terrified like the rest of them. Gingerly he picked the dusty item off, looked over his shoulder sadly, and began to walk away with a significant droop. Vestakia As Koro flew over the edge of the desert farthest from Octavian, now at least a mile away, Vestakia sighed heavily and shut her eyes. All of the recent stress was overwhelming, but she could still feel that little feeling in the pit of her stomach-- it was if she had eaten a mini winged fox, and the wings were tickling her insides. Despite the show of rage Octavian exhibited, Vestakia could feel herself positively glowing. No one got hurt, the annoying Arctic was gone, and Octavian had returned. As she opened her eyes, Octavian was nowhere in sight. Frantically she stood and hopped about, looking past alleys and in windows. He must've left as she was daydreaming with her eyes closed. Stopping only to pick up the ruined feather in her mouth, she bound ahead like a deer being chased. I need to see him... I need to reassure him! I'm his now! She balked, slowing down to a mild trot. I'm... HIS now? Since when is Vestakia owned?She stopped altogether. What am I saying?! I love him, he's changed me, he's shown me I'm not alone in my problems, he's the most amazing dustling I have... ever met... With a tremor in her heart, she leapt ahead. Upon turning a corner, she finally found Octavian, looking thoroughly depressed while retreating from where they had originally met with Koro. No... don't be depressed..."Octavian!" she cried, "wait!" Octavian Octavian froze on the spot. Wonderful reaction, so predictable really, that stone imitation. He would have thought she was there to chastize him, cut the wound deeper, but the voice he heard held no indication of it. Gingerly, Octavian looked back, still holding the dusty item in his beak. Though, he had displayed such posession over her.. perhaps she was going to try and tenderly explain that he was just another dragon to her, he had no right to act as he had. Half of him felt he was wrong, half right. And, torn down the middle, Octavian held back tears at what he felt was coming, another loss, another failure. He had brought it upon himself again, no matter how he looked at it. Could have gone straight to the lab, headed off the strange winged female faster. Could have stayed with her, let her wake next to him. Octavian shied from Vestakia's approach quietly. Please just let me have it and be done with it. Silent, useless plea. No reprieves for a monster. Vestakia Vestakia looked at him there, noticing something in his beak, and couldn't help picturing him as a little puppy who had just ripped up his owner's couch, and was now slowly fleeing with a bit of the material still clinging to his teeth-- evidence of his wrongdoing. Something bright filled her heart. No one had ever wanted Vestakia. Too old, too boring, too greedy, selfish, heartless, cruel. As she gazed at the beautiful beast, finally taking the time to truly study his markings and details, she could feel herself fall head over heels in love-- true love. She inched forward, her normally ice-cold eyes inviting Octavian in for a warm swim. "Octavian... thank you," she whispered, her voice comforting rather than sharp like its normally grating tone, "thank you for everything." She felt so different than normal-- her inner voices were arguing, but all Vestakia could do was rub right up against Octavian and rest her head right on his shoulder. If this is what it feels like, to be someone's love, then... I've been wasting my life away."Why couldn't I have met you any earlier, Octavian?" she asked, her voice soft like a cactus once you carefully avoid the spikes. Octavian Octavian choked on his sob as he wrapped his wings and tail and everything he could around Vestakia. She hadn't been there to scold him.. to hate him like she should have. He absolutely loved her for it, the tenderness she showed to him, the understanding, it was all he never deserved or dared to hope for. Vestakia was even loving, a far off dream of a female that must have been plucked from the sky for him.. or perhaps it was the other way around. "I don't know. Maybe it took you this long to wish for me." He whispered it into her ear, the statement soft and brimming with meanings. The words caused the dusty item to drop again, a cute yellow plushie decorated with hearts, now dirty and slightly frazzled though intact. Octavian cuddled her like he had only wished he could, the mix of emotions finally all pointed in one direction again. Only she could make him this way, so directed in the opposite manner of the one he had attacked Koro in. The feeling was glorious and almost as crippling as the others. "I should be thanking you." He peeked through a pair of tears still clinging to his lashes. "I still can't believe you understand, still care." Unbelieveable. Must be dreaming. Never wake up. The thoughts were a little fragmented, but at least they were all toward the positive. "I don't deserve it, but I wanted you to keep caring so much." Octavian broke inside from his feelings. Tears started to flow freely and he held her as close as he could without hurting her. Somehow it reminded him of the rain. Octavian had a cruelly accurate memory. Vestakia Vestakia pressed her cheek reassuringly against Octavian as he cried, so warm, so happy, so utterly relieved she was in love and being loved in return. I can't believe there really was someone out there for me. All I had to do was let him in. Despite the ice already gone from her heart, it now felt as though a ring of warmth had coated it like a fuzzy blanket on a cold night. Vestakia felt some of her own hot tears soaking into his featherfur as she embraced him with her body. She opened her eyes only as the object fell from his snout-- a plushie. Is.... that.. No one has ever given me a gift before. "I never thought my wish would come true," Vestakia whispered, certain that her voice would crack if she spoke any louder, "and it was worth the wait." All at once, a future with Octavian flashed through her head. Warmth, compassion, and eventually, Octavian's good side would have complete power over the bad. They'd fly above the Facility and let everyone know they ruled over it... Vestakia looked up at Octavian. "I... you... you've helped me realize why I was ever even put on Earth. I have a purpose now.. I'm not just some old dustling with sharing issues." She stroked his shoulder with her cheek affectionately, looking down at the plushie, and picturing the place upstairs she'd keep it, right next to her blanket. I'll get it a blanket of its own... and Octavian too. No more lonely nights. She felt tired all at once. So much love was almost too much for her system, and she slowly kneeled and dropped onto her underside. "Octavian... Octavian..." she whispered, "I... need... a nap." Octavian It took little effort for Octavian to drop onto his belly next to Vestakia. Almost immediately he regretted it, though he was attempting to curl around her, nestling her into his fur and feathers, the precious one never to be lost. No one to take her away. "Your wish has found you, love," He purred into her ear, "and he's never leaving your side." Octavian nuzzled her a little, his own body tired from its fierce explosion of energy earlier, and the finally calm and relaxed demeanor he was taking on now. Utterly exhausting, but there was no sense in sleeping in the dirt.. "I need rest as well. Should I help you home, tuck you in, keep you company always?" The purred voice continued, low and raspy as always, but compassionate and loving now. He could see himself carrying her into her blanket and nestling with her there forever. He would clean the gift for her, make it pretty as when he stole it and bring it back to her bed. Even when he was away it would remind her that he thought of her. Octavian smiled at the vision. It was almost too sweet for him, the monster, the demon and the angel as one. But it didn't go away, he held onto it. Dazed, exhaustion induced thought, beautiful picture, harmonious togetherness. Strange he would be allowed to think it without the self-loathing, scolding from his mind. Didn't matter. Let it play over and over for him now. Vestakia Despite being mentally exhausted [which invariably led to physical exhaustion], Vestakia stood and nodded slowly. "Yes, please... Take me home, it'll be empty again, we can sleep alone... it will be the best night of my life." She spoke with love woven through every word, even though her eyelids were too heavy to open. His voice sent shivers through her and made her nearly cling to him, and she picked up the gift in her beak, suddenly protective of it. She'd have to pay him back somehow. For all of this. She felt completely in his debt. As they slowly made their way back to the lab, which luckily wasn't even that far off to begin with, Vestakia noticed dustlings off in the distance watching them. She smiled. Let them see us! she thought, defiantly, I'm not ashamed... I'm finally loved. They wish they could feel the way I do. They arrived at the lab door, and Vestakia pushed it open. Octavian Octavian helped her through the door, closed it, and helped Vestakia up the stairs carefully. This was what it was like to have another in his posession.. and belong to someone at the same time. Intricate wrapping. Yes, together at last. True to his promise, Octavian tucked Vestakia into her blanket gently, allowing himself the enormous pleasure of tucking himself next to her as well. He hadn't noticed the stares as they had entered together, the perhaps shocked expressions. Vision clouded in another way, sight only for her. "I'll miss you until I wake, Vestakia." The words came out in a happy sigh as he settled next to her. So very tired, and it was just becoming evening. Octavian groomed Vestakia a little until his head was too heavy for his neck to lift anymore, and the day's toll caught up with him. He passed into a peaceful sleep, only the second happy slumber of his life. Vestakia Vestakia followed him up and inside the room, finding it fortunate that only a small nightlight was on and the dying sun gave off just enough deep, red light to show the two where the blankets were. She mumbled an incoherent yet sweet reply as she nestled her head down into her floor pillow, too sleepy to form any comprehensible words. With a yawn she hugged the plushie under her neck, and wrapped her tail about Octavian's, her last bodily function for the rest of the night. Before sleep overtook her tired mind, she couldn't help but think. You're mine, too.
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Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:58 am
RP log - Of death and hearbreak. <3 Get a tissue. RolePlay Octavian "Please, I'm not so dense that I can't tell when someone is angry at me." Octavian huffed and followed Vest up the stairs to check on the babies. It took Octavian a moment to register what had happened. One of his children was missing. A dull roar began in his ears that gradually spread throughout his system. Someone had taken the little colorful girl... The human.It was the first thought that came to him, so it was the first one he reacted on. A quiet hiss escaped him as he fought back a full-blown rage. His movements stalking the house were calculated, a seeking predator on the loose. Octavian didn't let any objects get in his way, if he wanted to look under a table, he overturned it. Behind something, it had to be tossed aside. "Where could she have been taken to..." Vestakia Vestakia was out of the lab already, searching the gardens and even going so far as to climb up onto the roof to look for her baby. Gone. And the human is gone too. Now her heart was completely broken into quarters-- Octavian's half and her children's half. This pain is what happens when you let your guard down... let others inside. It hurts. Remember how you felt before? You... no... it wasn't any better. Life is so worthless.Vestakia looked down from the roof and winced. Her heartache was causing her physical pain now, and the desire to rip the human apart was already gone, and replaced with complete and utter sorrow. "Worthless..." she sighed, and inched closer to the edge. Octavian She wasn't within the bounds of the facility, Octavian had checked and double checked. And now the professor would be a little more than shocked when she returned, the whole place was pretty much a wreck from top to bottom. Well, I did have to check every corner.Octavian smirked to himself, satisfied with the wreckage on some level. It didn't make up for his anger at the loss of a child, but it was something. Would probably take hours to clean it all, and if the human wanted to do something to him about it, he'd bite her. That would settle things. Still though, the problem went unsolved. He went outside and circled the house - no luck. And now Vestakia was gone too. Octavian sighed and collapsed onto the sand, all the looking was tiring and it wasn't getting him anywhere. He sprawled out on the ground, legs and wings all different directions and covering a rather large surface of ground. She had better at least be safe. Hopefully the human wasn't so cruel as to put a baby in danger. She certainly didn't seem to be. Vestakia Vestakia laid down on the edge of the roof and surveyed the town from above. She saw a baby dustling in the distance that looked like the missing one, but it turned out to be a baby fox instead. Vestakia rubbed her eyes. I'm getting old. She looked down at the ground and wondered how much she'd splat if she threw herself off. Off to the side, Vestakia saw the huge form of Octavian, lying on the ground. She turned away. Looking at him was so difficult for her-- she couldn't stand it anymore. Octavian With a sigh Octavian peeled himself from the ground. There was no point in sticking around much longer, Vestakia was angry with him over something she wouldn't divulge, and when Feline came home she would probably go into a fury. Quietly, practically dragging himself, Octavian began to retreat to his original house, where he could get some peaceful sleep. Everyone there knew to leave him alone, at least there was that much. And maybe his human would take some pity on him and give him a bath, he was a little dusty and dirty. He could curl up on soft towels and be depressed in peace. Vestakia Vestakia watched Octavian leave out of the corner of her eye. All emotion-- all anger, happiness, love and even sorrow now, were gone. Her feelings walked away with Octavian. Vest leapt down from the roof. Upon landing, she felt her muscles contract and her wrist splinter, but she couldn't have cared less. With a limping trot, she skulked back inside the lab, scrambled up the staircase, and curled up with her children. Professor Feline As Feline approached the lab, after a hard day of collecting rock specimens from the distant mountain range, she could sense turmoil. Immediately she realized it had been a complete mistake to give away one of Vestakia's children. "Oh god..." she whispered, as she entered her lab, noticing the entire couch/living room area was upturned, overturned, and tossed around. Her lab area was also a wreck, but she knew this was going to take even longer than before to clean. And with a shiver of fear in her heart she realized the featherfur on everything was the purple of that giant halfbreed, not yellow like Vest's. As she slowly climbed up the stairs, the door stood ajar and Feline could see Vestakia inside. She hesitantly stepped inside, wondering if it was safe. The two children looked content, but Vestakia was asleep. Feline kneeled beside Vestakia and frowned, "I'm sorry girl... I guess I went overboard. I promise we can see your baby whenever you want. Can we be friends again?" Vestakia didn't even open her eyes. Feline put a hand on her back softly, and noticed she was cold. She blinked in confusion and looked down. Her wrist was shattered, and a tiny puddle of blood had formed below it, and a bit trickled down from her beak. She could see bruises forming beneath her featherfur. "VEST!" Feline shrieked, panicking as she stood up and nearly tripped over one of her babies. "Vest...! No..!" At Wolf's House Menhit's eyes shone behind the veil of the dust in her pan. The human had nearly tripped over her, and they had gotten mother. Metallic smell of blood was unmistakeable, and mother wasn't moving. The tiny dragon shrank back into the dust, curled as far away from the edges as she could possibly be. She didn't want to be next. Octavian couldn't rest. The bath hadn't helped. Grooming hadn't been enjoyable. He had even allowed the human to do it without much strife, he was so depressed. Vest had no right to be mad at him, she didn't! But if it wasn't his fault, why was he so broken inside... Tearfully the hulking figure burrowed his face into his blanket and sobbed. She had dissapeared. He had been right on her heels until he'd searched the facility in a mad rage.. where could she have gotten to.. Octavian wondered if this was how Vestakia felt whenever he was gone for so long. Quietly he promised no one that he wouldn't leave as often... she'd start waking up with him beside her... if only she would forgive him for whatever it was that he had done. Cicera peeked in on the other halfbreed she hadn't ever met. In fact, she couldn't ever remember him being around at all. The little female almost offered her help.. but she might just be in his way, or make things worse. If he needed something, he could always tell her to do it. She wouldn't really care.. as long as she was some service to others, and out of their way. Cicera could be the resident doormat and whipping girl if it made people better. She watched the crying huge male with concern from the lower corner of the doorway. Stretched to the side, only a bit of her was visible through the door, that way he could leave without having to be inconvienienced by her. Laurent came down the hallway unannounced, and barked at Cicera to get the hell out of his way. She took off, scrambling in the opposite direction. Stupid girl would do anything you yelled at her to. He only gave Octavian a passing glance as he walked through. Heh, bet it was a girl. Better to be a heartbreaker than heartbroken. And he too left Octavian to his own devices. Vestakia The desert was so serene that night. Fireflies flickered their calls of love back and forth as Vestakia had sifted through the sands, enjoying the warmth they gave off as she shivered from the cooling air. She was the first one. The very first one. She had roamed the desert, dove in the lake, and scaled the mountains before half the dustlings were even born. She was the pioneer, the warrior who survived when there was nothing. The pilgrim of the stars. Octavian. His eyes. I love you... Every little fiber of her being wanted to be back in his arms. His great big wings, covering Vestakia's tiny little body. He protected and loved her, and she loved and protected him. The rain fell down that night, over the two dustlings, locked together in a frenzy of love and understanding. I'll be with you forever...And then her mind went blank. I can't feel my legs.It smells like rubbing alcohol.. why does it smell so bad-- I can't breath... Chasing everyone off. It's my desert! Get out! Blurry. So blurry. Why can't I see? There's sand in my eyes...A big blob of purple. It was Caiden. Blurry, but it was Caiden. You're so annoying, Vest. Yeah but you know you like it. Vestakia loved Caiden. When he had touched her precious pillow, she secretly cuddled it after he left. Caiden on the hospital bed. She wanted him to die there, but deep down inside, she had wept. Please survive... I'd miss you. No matter how much I hate you.Caiden... on the hospital bed... pushed off a roof. "She fell off the roof. Kind of ironic. She's going to die, then?" "No, shut up! She won't die, she's amazing. She'll pull through." Why're the lights so bright.. and I still can't feel anything.
And I'm so... tired. Maybe if I close my eyes, I can just sleep for a minute...Octavian Half awake sleep. You did this.
I didn't, it wasn't me! For once it wasn't my fault!
Broke her heart. Were wrong.
It can't be my doing...
Abandoner! Hateful! Murderer!He saw a broken Vestakia, harmed under his own claws. No!The scene shifted to show everyone he'd ever hurt. Quiet rumblings of their distasteful thoughts toward him all hit his ears at once. Aletta, Fenris, Toril, even Lola and Koro. They were all bleeding and wailing their hatred for him in the half-dream, with Vest at the center of it all. Octavian flew out of the blanket, eyes wide with terror, shaking down to his claws. Each individual hair was trembling with a mind of its own. Like a shot he bolted out the door, scrambling and tripping over the smallest things. He couldn't see, the salty tears kept filling and refilling his eyes. Octavian hated them. Cry a sky of tears to be near you again.He had to choke back cries of terror and anguish. Had to see Vestakia again, had to make sure she was alright. It seemed as though he would have to make up for twice what he had done to make anything better... Professor Feline It had been a sickeningly painful three hours for Feline. For 180 minutes or so, Vestakia had been pronounced dead. The first dustling to form, and the first to ever die. Despite their differences, and Vestakia's growing distrust for humans and other dustlings alike, Feline was crestfallen and generally crushed. Her best friend was gone. And just as Vest's pulse stopped so many minutes ago, Feline could feel the desert winds pick up outside as its queen died. Vestakia had given Feline one last look-- it signified she had not died from merely earthly wounds, but she had died from lack of emotion. Everything was gone in that final, blank stare. Vestakia was empty-- a lowly body with no soul to speak of. Unbeknownst to Feline, Octavian had left and carried Vest's soul with him. She was nothing without him. And she had pushed him away all on her own. Feline winced as another peal of sobs choked her throat and blurred her vision. The weeping came hard on her. She tore up a box of kleenex in moments, and gingerly searched for another, now wiping her face and nose on her labcoat. "Vest... Vest..." she groaned sadly. "You had a love, you had children, why did you do this? Was it me? Was it because I took away your child?" She suddenly felt ten times worse inside. "I'm so.. so sorry.." she sobbed, and fell to her knees. "Vestakia... I'll miss you so much, Vest... my little ray of sunshine." ......... Come on Vestakia, look! I bought you a present! Yes, it's yours. A brand new golden pillow for you. See? I put it in the corner so you can always have a place to live in my lab. I know you don't know me very well yet, but I'm sure we'll become best friends!"Vestakia!" Feline cried, and threw herself on Vestakia's still form. She ran her hand along her featherfur softly, wishing with all her might that she would wake up and everything would be okay. _______________________________________ That night, a small headstone was erected in the backyard garden. It had a pair of wings on it and a small inscription, with Vest's cold body beneath the surface. "We'll miss you forever and always." Octavian Silent eyes watched a golden angel get placed into the ground. So she didn't have wings or a halo, she had been his angel. Octavian knew the moment Vestakia had died. His heart had wrenched and everything he had ever cared for dissolved inside. Felt her leave this world and go back to the stars from where she came. But she can't be gone.. its like she wished for me, she can't leave me.." Octavian buried a tear-streaked face into his forelegs for the thousandth time in several hours. Vestakia was everything to him, and this was his fault. He should never have left her.. it was his fault.. Broken into a fit of uncontrollable sobbing. Couldn't bear to look at the tiny grave, it was too hard, it hurt too much. Couldn't stand to live like this forever, there was no way he could manage raising the children without her.. he needed her! "Vestakia.." Whisper on the night wind, carried to the stars. All he wanted was to see her again, touch her again, no matter what that meant... What was that?
See her, no matter what.
Go get her.
Can't do that, gone.
Failed before you tried. Such a shame.Octavian bashed his head on the rooftop to silence himself. That was the LAST thing he needed, more chastizing from himself. He already knew he had killed the one dustling he had ever loved, and she had loved him back. They had three children together, beautiful babies... More crying. All Octavian could see was the tear-filled inside of his eyelids. Don't let it get away.
What?He tilted his head, as if to listen harder to the softest voice that had ever graced him. Don't let everything you've ever wanted get away.Octavian started to tremble with terror and sorrow. He started to realize what the voice wanted him to do, to try, and it wasn't all that inviting. Following another dustling to the other side... it was... was it impossible? He suddenly wasn't sure. He couldn't remember exactly why he thought it was such a bad idea, now. If it had to be done.. Foolishness.Mental blade cut that voice. It quieted. Octavian shook even more, like a piece of malfunctioning equipment. More than anything he wanted Vestakia back... But... how exactly was he going to do that again? The sorrow kept making him forget. He saw himself flying up as high as he could manage, and then letting gravity take him to the stony ground. Octavian went cold to the bone, and started to shiver on top of everything else. But he found himself moving, powerful wings carrying him toward the sky. Which ones had Vestakia come from? Had he been from the same stars? Tears rained down across Feline's garden as Octavian got higher. The mountains.. that would be the quickest. He spiraled upward until the air was thin, and let himself come down without the aid of his wings. Sharp stones had made it nearly instant, Octavian barely had time to cast one more glance at the starlit sky before he couldn't see anymore. Vestakia Feline waved as Caiden left, her arm falling back at her side. She could hear a clock ticking somewhere in the distance, through the silence, and it reminded her how late it was. "I've got more dustlings here than I can handle, but it's empty without you..." ____________ This is my desert... all my desert...
Vestakia flew about the golden desert with her newly formed wings. She was alone, and the sand was intricately adorned with gems and jewels. Vestakia sifted through the sands and plucked amethysts from the ground; everything was so beautiful. The town was gone. The mountains rose up-- pure gold from the ground, and the sky was a constant sunset.
Everything is so perfect here.
Except... it's missing someone.Octavian Sticky. He couldn't move. Octavian pried his eyes open and tried to make his muscles work. It was difficult, but he could manage. He was stuck in blackness. There was.. golden light coming from one direction. Octavian tried to scramble toward it, but it kept getting farther away. Where am I?Quiet voice laughed in the back of his mind. He was being dragged away from the gold, backwards. It was getting hotter. More laughter. Did you think you were going to a heaven? Panic stricken, Octavian tried to scramble forward. Heat was grasping at his heels, he had a searing pain going through his feathered wings. "But I was good! I tried to be.." Even as Octavian tried to argue it, he knew it wasn't really true. Fought to go forward, all he could manage was to stay in place right now. It hurt so much to be pulled backward, all of him was searing, it was getting harder to fight it off. "I'm sorry! Please no!" The pulling stopped. The demon voice stood incarnate before him. You're a liar and a killer. I should take you into the pit of hell for all that you've done while alive, Octavian. You are the picture of a demon. We can blacken that fur of yours, rip your angel part away. We will make you one of us. You'll love it, revel in it as you did on earth."No! I'm not a demon.. I tried not to be.." He started to sob again. Octavian didn't want to be that, he wouldn't! Not ever again! He had promised his love. Love. Where was she? Certainly Vestakia wasn't where this... evil was trying to take him. He tried to push forward again, with some avail. Octavian focused on getting to Vest, at any cost. You'll fail at that too, and we'll be waiting for you...The demon dissapeared, and the pull on him stopped. So, he had a chance after all. Octavian ran for the golden sand springing up near him. It was suddenly warm, inviting. He looked around, and decided that this must be heaven. Though it was so bright. It hurt his eyes. Perhaps he wasn't entirely suited for this, either. Octavian didn't really belong in hell or heaven right now. He took stock of himself and the area. There was gold and jewelry everywhere, gems shimmering in the sand, perfect tufts of grass. Even the mountains seemed a sculpture. Now.. where was his Vestakia? Vestakia Vestakia lay in the sands, a huge sapphire enclosed in her claws that reminded her of Octavian's eyes. She was encompassed by the feeling of loneliness inside this huge, perfect desert. No one to share it with. With a sick realization, Vestakia found she was tired of her dream world already. All those years she had wasted on being bitter towards 'invaders'... it wasn't worth it to begin with. Her gut felt as though someone had torn it out with a screwdriver. Her falling star's wish had not been to be the first, be the best.. no.. nothing like that. She now knew her wish was to be loved despite all the mistakes she had made. She knew. And she had fulfilled her wish.
Why didn't you just accept the life you were born with, and love the things you were blessed with? If you had, you wouldn't be alone.
Vestakia stood up, the desert so blurry, as if she wasn't really there. As if she was dreaming.
Octavian, I miss you... Human, I miss you too.. and my children, I miss you three the most! I'll never see any of you again! I'm alone forever! I thought I wanted to be alone... own this desert... but now what? Oh the time I've wasted! Octavian! Human! ...Octavian!
Vestakia howled.
I want to go home!
What's that?
A hole had appeared in the distance. It was a huge black splotch in her perfect, golden world. Octavian? Would you really follow me through death...? You'd never let me go... you stubborn little...
Vestakia leapt towards the hole. Even if it brought her to hell, she needed to see Octavian again.
Even if it was just once more, it'd be better than spending eternity without ever saying goodbye. Vestakia winced. That one last time he had walked away... she died before she ever said goodbye. I never said goodbye.
OCTAVIAN! Octavian There she was. Octavian had never felt lighter. It had been true! That one little statement from the back of his mind had been true. And he hadn't really believed it, but he wouldn't have been able to go on in the world without Vest to help him before. And now he wouldn't go to hell, he'd be able to cling into the fur of his love and his angel forever. Her golden hue blinded him further, and he leaped from the blackness to hold her anyway. Now he was crying again as he held to the yellow featherfur, sobbing all over her, infinitely happy in that very moment. "I'm here, Vestakia. I had to follow you. I promised, forever, remember?" Choked on his own sobs again. The blackness behind was calling, but he wouldn't go to it just yet. He had won. Hell would have to shut up and wait. Finally free of the horrid arguing, all he knew now was his love for Vestakia in all its shining glory. Octavian could revel in it forever. But he wasn't entirely done, now was he. This male was not suited for heaven either, he hadn't earned it. And he wouldn't go anywhere else. How do I get back? Where is the voice when I need it?Octavian held Vest tighter. He didn't know what to do. He had thrown his life away without a plan... he was dead. What could he do?! No human, no wish upon a star could save him now. He would have to get out on his own. Wait, what was this? Vestakia's golden wings. So, she had gotten it, the ability to soar through the clouds. He so wanted to fly with her now, but the brightness here was going to make him go blind. Octavian had to keep his eyes shut and his head sort of toward the ground to keep his retinas from hurting. It was difficult, but manageable. If he could do this.. come to rescue Vest on the night he had seen her buried.. Octavian got cold chills. He was cold and dead on earth, like Vestakia. Terror gripped him again. "Vest.. my love.. my forever angel... how will we ever get home?" Vestakia Vestakia could feel her insides burn with happiness that she never, ever wanted to end. The utopia she envisioned was so inexplicably lonely and worthless that she clung to Octavian in fear that they'd be stuck there forever-- or worse, Octavian would have to leave. Or maybe it was all a dream. Maybe he wasn't even there... "I'm so sorry," Vestakia whispered, "for everything I've done." She was talking to Octavian, but also inadvertently addressing her entire desert. "I'm sorry I was selfish and couldn't manage to share the beauty of my desert with everyone... I'm sorry I made more enemies than friends... I'm sorry I crushed the heart of the human that loves me, and the heart of the wonderful dustling who loves me even more." Tiny golden tears trickled down her beak, and she couldn't help but feel trapped. Trapped in heaven-- a heaven she realized she didn't want after all. "I'm sorry you had to come all this way for me..." Vestakia realized the light was hurting Octavian's eyes, but she had one final idea that she hadn't tried yet to get them back to earth. "Octavian... my love... please, follow me." She glanced back at the dark hole. "Please..." With the grace of an angel, she flew up into the air, feeling the warm breeze ruffle her featherfur. It was so wonderful, but not worth being trapped in this place for. She flew up and up, and headed directly into the brilliantly bright, golden sun. Follow me... forever, right Octavian?Octavian He would follow her forever, no matter what the cost. That brilliant sun, he couldn't look at it. Octavian was not supposed to be here, and the demons were still waiting for him. Well, they would have to wait longer, because he wasn't done. If there was still a way to prove he was not one of them, he would take it, and he would always, always have Vestakia to help him. Fierce cries from the blackness as he took off to follow his love. Searing from that bright sun. It was really starting to hurt, but he had to follow. Keep that one promise above all else. But it was so hot, and it started to make all his muscles ache. Octavian slowed, and shot forward with a burst of energy. Ripping pain through his muscles. Why must it hurt so much to move forward... and he had to keep up. If he lost sight of Vest, he lost everything. His life, his soul, it didn't mean anything without her anymore. Bones felt like they were breaking. Sun reached out to burn him and pull him onward, after the golden love. Couldn't open his eyes, simply followed the sound of her soft wings. Then the pain was consuming. One last flap forward, yes. Make the broken wings work. And it was dark. Octavian cracked open one eye. He was broken on the rocks of a mountain, his body shattered on a stone. The halfbreed was badly bruised, and probably had many bones in need of repair. Through the white-hot flashes of pain he tried to move, and found himself mobile on three legs. The wings though, they were crippled for a time. His landing had been on his back. Had he really been there, gotten her? Octavian would be heartbroken again if it wasn't true.. it had to be true. One shaky hobble forward at a time. Left front leg, that was useless. How did that one get so badly hurt? He couldn't remember. The bruises burned like the sun in Vestakia's heaven. But where was she? Octavian didn't see his angel. He wondered if she had been able to get out at all, if it was even real. Desperately Octavian hoped he hadn't just been hallucinating in some sort of coma. Until he heard quiet laughter. Soft, sinister. We'll be waiting, Octavian. You can't escape us forever.He couldn't shudder or risk falling. A fall now... He didn't want to think of how much it would hurt. Best think to do was hobble forward, yes, fight the broken body and broken spirit. At least his mind was clear, and now he was approaching the base of the stones. Only a trek through a forest now.. and then please let there be medical help waiting. Vestakia With a gasp that made the whole desert shiver, a certain golden dustling freed herself from her dirt coffin and sputtered weakly, her lungs aching as they filled with air. Her body felt like it was on fire, but one thing flashed into her mind. Octavian.It was so hot just a moment ago, and now she was freezing as she pulled her weak, unforgiving body from the ground and into the grasp of the icy night air. Her wrist was hanging limply, but she still used it to dig herself out and step onto the flat, solid ground of the garden. "I'll find you... Octavian..." She'd search the whole damn world for him if she had to, even if she had to die again. With a furtive glance at her tombstone, she shuddered and turned away. However, she realized something was protruding from her back, and with a bit of a panic, she tried desperately to look behind her. If something was stuck in her back, it'd be ten times harder to carry on without the human's assistance... And suddenly, she realized, a pair of golden wings lay folded at her sides. "What?" she yelped, afraid of her own body. And then, it all made sense. I died. I went to heaven. I hated it, and my Octavian came to save me... he... he killed himself for me... he... oh god.In horror, she wondered if he had been kept back. What if the demons took him? What if he's in hell right now? Oh god, no! Despite the pain in her limbs, her newfound wings felt wonderfully powerful and ready to fly forever. So heaven gave me these wings in order to find you... I'll find you, Octy!With a push from her broken wrist and battered feet, she leapt into the sky, and felt the wonderfully rejuvenating night air against her entire body, like a waterfall of zephyrs. This was her desert. And from now on, she'd make sure she'd share it properly and make it the best it could be. The desert wind seemed to be leading her right into the mountains, and she could see bits of dark blue featherfur in the air. She swooped down, and soon came across Octavian's landing place. Bits of fur and blood lay on the rocks, and she flew back up, scanning the area with teary eyes. "Where'd you go?" she cried, and flew back towards the town, afraid he had come back for her. "Octavian..." ___________________ Feline paced about the lab. She couldn't sleep. She needed closure. With a heavy heart, she went outside, and dragged her feet to the back garden. "I should grow some yellow daffodils around her grave," she mumbled inwardly, wondering what else she could do to honor her best friend. As she approached the grave, she noticed something was wrong. Way wrong. A graverobber? With a flash of anger, she realized the body was gone. "Monsters!" she growled. She would hunt down the graverobber and kick it right out of the desert. Octavian He was reaching the treeline. Please let the forest be small.The bright moon shone to guide him. Octavian liked that light, it was soft, only a reflection of its heavenly counterpart. The cold air though, that was hurting his lungs. Silently he wished for something lukewarm, not searing or freezing. At least the chill was numbing him some, made it just a little bit easier to move. Flash of gold overhead. Octavian glanced up just a little too quickly, and winced. Too late though, he couldn't see what had passed by. Maybe it was his imagination, anyway. A flashback of the odd things he had seen in.. wherever he had been. If he had been anywhere. It was so easy to pass fantastic things off as illusion, so that was what he was doing. He decided that he hated rocks. Should he ever die, again, or whatever, he wanted it to be a whole lot more peaceful than that. The bond of love was so powerful, to drive him into what he had done. Now it had gotten him a burning, throbbing, stabbing, and everything else pain. So much for creative insight. More laughter at him though the depths of his mind. Foolish Octavian, going to heaven and hell and back for love. "SILENCE!" He barked out, pushing the voice back. At least he had tried. And maybe suceeded, if it were possible. Vestakia Stay up.. just a little longer..
But it hurts so bad!
He's worth it...Vestakia slowly felt her last bit of energy drain right out of her, and with a few feet between her and the ground, she dropped. Her face hit the sand, and she couldn't bring herself to get up. Here's that feeling of tiredness again... when will I ever feel good? When will I be able to curl up with my children? When will I be able to kiss Octavian goodnight...?Something seemed a bit brighter as she slowly opened her eyes. Dazed, she realized something above her was glowing and lighting up the area, and for a split second she thought it was a human with a flashlight. She turned, but no one was there. It's... me... Vestakia had no idea why she was glowing, but she knew this would help Octavian find her. As she stumbled through the desert, into the grasslands, she saw the forest ahead. She dropped, her last energy spent, and waited. She had absolute faith in him. __________________ Feline stalked about town angrily, searching for hints that may lead to the graverobber's whereabouts. Some monster dustling might have eaten her... for chrissakes, I'll murder it!Something far off caught her eye, wayyy out in the distance. She stepped towards it and squinted. "Hm... the culprit left evidence?" With a new hope in her heart, she set off towards it. Octavian It suddenly got lighter through the trees. The sun couldn't be rising yet, but Octavian was thankful for the brightness. Wait a second. Moons don't get brighter. And the light was only coming from one direction. With effort, Octavian turned himself around. He could very well be going to meet death again, this time to really join the heavens. Perhaps he could be happy there now, and the demon would have no way of ever getting him again. Angels would take him up and up forever until he saw his Vestakia again, and the wounds would magically heal and all this physical pain would melt away with the same quickness as hit had jerked into him when he returned to the physical plane. Of course it wasn't a heavenly light, exactly. He kept moving toward it, as though it were calling him. It did get easier to move as he walked closer. Not much, but enough to where he wasn't on the brink of tears with every hobble. And then it came into view, a gorgeous angelic dustling lying in the sand, glowing softly. She looked familiar. Very familiar! Octavian had to contain himself not to leap forward at the sight and dive right into the sand next to the angelic Vestakia. She was the picture of what she had been in heaven, perfect down to every last ruff of featherfur. Octavian hobbled as fast as his sore body would carry him to her side and let his good front leg slide out from under him as he approached so that he hit the soft sand next to her. Finally, finally, it was like he had been without her forever. Octavian burrowed his tattered face into her side and whimpered. "I missed you, my angel..." Vestakia Out of the forest, in the corner of Vest's eye, came Octavian. Her wonderful, terrible beast. Hers. He was safe, he was alive, and he had come back with her. "Octavian, Octavian..." she cried, her voice raspy with dryness. His name felt like rain after a long, long drought. "I missed you as well..." Words couldn't express her gratitude, nor the immense swelling of happiness inside her heart. As Octavian touched her, she felt as though everything in the world was fine, everything was okay, and nothing could ever go wrong again. Her problems melted away, and the pain subsided. She buried her own face in his neck as well and cried. Cried with happiness, cried with relief, and cried for the fact that someone really cared.As she listened to the rhythmic beating of Octavian's halfbreed heart, and felt the glow warming her body and his, she could hardly stay awake. The last word on her breath was "love", and she fell asleep. ________________ Feline managed to make it all the way out to where the light was coming from, and she hesitated before stepping closer. Seemed like some angelic dustling was out with Vestakia's old lover. She grimaced. How terrible. However, as she squinted even harder, she recognized the golden and black coat. "What the hell?" she murmured, as she walked forward, not caring if she was breaking up some angelic dustling and Vest's old lover or not. She was afraid for what she might discover. However, as she laid her eyes down on the glowing angel, she realized it was Vestakia. The wrist was broken in half and she had bruises everywhere, visible even under her fur. "What happened to you two?" she asked, slowly, her mind spinning. "How did you bring her back?" The tears came softly. "Is it really you?" she asked, as she dropped to her knees and stroked Vestakia's warm body. Vestakia awoke for only a moment, her eyes sliding open to reveal the small sapphires within. She rubbed her head against Feline's arm, and fell back to sleep. How am I going to drag these two back to the lab? I can't leave them here...Octavian Octavian purred into her warmth even though he felt like a train crash on top of crashed and burning freeway wreckage. What did he expect, it had been a long fall. And as Vestakia was falling asleep, he planted soft kisses on as much of her as he could reach. Then there was Feline. That human who had buried Vestakia not so long ago on this same night. She did care for her companion, that was very evident. In one glance, Octavian told the tale of what had happened to her. The anguish, death, hell and heaven were all shining in his eyes, and finally this collapsing reunion in the sand at the edge of the trees. He had seen the demon that plauged him, and it was worth it to bring her back. Octavian let out a slow, soft, growl turned to high pitch whine. It wasn't threatening, just another way of him expressing everything that had gone on, even if she didn't exactly understand. He nuzzled Vest as she slept, hoping that she might be able to get back on her own. They wouldn't be able to lie here, both of them still needed bandages and rest in a warm room, not out in this biting night air. The halfbreed tried hard to scramble to his feet again. It was difficult with three legs and no wings, but he did manage to obtain an unsteady stand. Octavian's rear legs were splayed to try and help balance his weight now that he was something of a tripod that shouldn't have been. He could probably manage a good bit of the hike back to the facility by himself, but it would be so nice to have something to lean on. One more look at Feline, and he tried to tell her he needed help, if she could find a way. Octavain hoped she had some sort of idea. Vestakia Vestakia felt Octavian's love in her sleep and made a mental note to give him as much love as she could give him as soon as she was feeling better. Her mind was willing but her body was beat. A massage.. that's what I'll give him.. after nursing his wounds, I'll make him feel wonderful. My hero.Feline felt so worried and relieved at the same time that her head began to hurt. She had to bring them home, but after attempting to pick up Vestakia, she knew it'd be futile to try. As she turned to Octavian, and met his gaze with her own, she could tell what they had gone through. So that's what happened...However, the soft sound of claws in sand plucked her attention off Octavian. Behind her, Saryn, Enivali, and even the quiet, hateful Remoran had appeared, as if summoned by the desert itself. And even more compelling was the dustling that landed in front of them-- Koro. They looked tired, but willing to lend helping claws. Feline sighed in exasperated relief. Enivali and Saryn circled Vestakia, nudging her, attempting to get her on her feet. They looked worried but caring towards her, unlike how they had felt just days earlier. Remoran, one of Feline's few males, lumbered forward, offering Octavian a brotherly gesture of help by lowering his shoulder for him to lean on. He rarely ever even talked to anyone, let alone offer to help. Koro gave Octavian a look that told him to hold a truce, because even if he didn't want to, he was in no shape to fight her. She turned and gave Vestakia a look that didn't include lustful longing for once, just worry, and general concern. As Saryn and Enivali picked the sleeping Vestakia up, Koro leapt forward, and helped carry her. Feline shook her head and wiped her eyes. Octavian Octavian held back his glare for Koro, it wasn't needed. He figured that she was sorry anyway, he held very little distaste for her at that moment. Gratefully he accepted the aid from Remoran, and leaned as lightly as he could on the other dragon's shoulder. "Thank you," Came the cracked whisper. All Octavian could think about was warm blankets and Vestakia as he hobbled back toward the facility. Of course he was grateful for the aid, but as they approached the lab he felt more and more like collapsing onto the ground, onto something. Ever step toward the warm lights of the home made him hurt more, the garden and the little headstone... Octavain looked away from the garden. That was over. They had made it out alright.. briused, but not dead. Anymore. Which was excellent, because Octavian was more and more certain with each step that shot flames through his limbs that his time in heaven had been borrowed and allowed for some reason. I promise I'll earn it next time. Look, see, I'm being compliant. I can be good, too..Vestakia Feline helped them all hobble along until they reached the lab, where she opened the heavy doors for them and watched as the two lovers were dragged inside, looking worse than death. Poor creatures. As Enivali and Saryn began to look up at Feline, wondering where to leave them, Feline put up her hand to signify them stopping, then ran upstairs. She returned with Vestakia's favorite blanket and her two remaining children in her arms, and positioned them both on Vestakia's huge golden pillow. She was so happy. Just hours earlier Feline was wondering what she should do-- leave the deceased dustling's objects there or hide them away. Remember and be sad or forget and be more sad. She was just so happy. Saryn and Enivali laid Vestakia down on her pillow and tucked her in, leaving enough space for Octavian. Remoran gingerly stepped around them, still holding him up, and bent down to allow him to softly slide off onto the pillow. Octavian Octavian settled gratefully into the pillow. Finally his tired muscles had rest, and he was with Vestakia, and everything was alright. His eyelids were heavy, and he found himself closing them as he nestled around Vest to keep her warm and comfortable. As for his wings, he kept them tucked far back against his body as best he could. They were very sore, he would be flightless for a little while. Not that it mattered so much now. Octavian cast one more happy glance at the sleeping form of Vestakia before he passed into sleep. Dreams of a warm desert where he and his love had children together, and everyone was happy. He didn't loathe anyone anymore, and he was finally worthy of the heaven he had wanted so much. Lovely dreams. 
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Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 9:39 am
-Reserved 10/15 this page.
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