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well in my opinion, playing by ear is one of the only styles that requires time to develope the ability, and the longer you play the more it grows.
whoever is telling you that if you can play by ear you can play anything is right, plus it helps when you are jamming (can't play a solo withought knowing what your going to play.) and i do use tabs on some occasians, but not too often. and sheet music i use in like concert/jazz band, but thats it.

Well Im one of those innocent beginners, I would love to be able to play by ear, but for me its something that is taking time with the instrument, Im trying to develop it as much as possible, however it is kinda fustrating when you try to play along to a song you like, but you have no idea what you are doing or how to hit the notes/to make it sound the same.
As a result I take the easy way out and look at the tabs. Tabs are simple ways of finding out what to hit and where. Though, having worked though a good portion of this book/dvd set I have for the bass, I must say sheet music is very very clear.

How the DVD works is, it plays the song, and scrolls the tabs just under the sheet music, so you can see how to play the notes. So for songs where the bass line is not so audible to pick up with the ear alone, I would go with sheet music.
It doesn't hurt to try and learn music, it can only benifit.

yup...i guess im a innocent beginner...

My answer would have to be this as well. I've been known to write a tab or two in my day.. as its just easier to write down as a quick reminder or how to show someone else how which notes to hit when trying to teach them a quick easy song, though tabs are just not very descriptive at all. Definitely no where near what can be obtained by those who actually read music. Though to say people aren't "real" bassists because of how they've decided to learn how to play, is pretty ignorant. Seeing how you have to listen to the song over and over and over to make a tab useful, tabs in a way help you pick up that playing from ear technique rather quickly. (quicker than most anyways).. Music is about having fun, and shouldn't be done for really any other reason. If someone is so gung-ho about making others feel inferior to themselves, then it really is that person that doesn't understand what he/she is really doing. He/she could play any material from Gene Simmons to Victor Wooten and unless they get themselves out of that "what everyone else should do" mindset, then it really is them, who aren't "real" musicians.

I used to know how to read music but I dropped out of band class because I wanted to play bass, and the school made you try out because they would only let one person be a bassist. If I didn't make it I wouldv'e been forced to continue band using something else, and I hated the smell out the dried up spit. basically I forgot most of it but I could learn it again. I use tabs/ear.