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Tags: goth, subculture, alternative 

Reply Art / Poetry / Literature - Related Topics
a violent song i wrote, is it any good?

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the song lyrics are...
  really good
  not bad, but could still use some work
  complete crap
  creepy *backs away from you*
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_Built_to_Offend_666

PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 8:16 pm


can some1 please give me feedback on this song i wrote for my band?


ANTISOCIAL

Do I have a face
I can never truly know
I never leave a trace
I get overthrown
I wish for someone that can see me
I wish for someone to help clean the debris
The shards of me are always free for the taking
Beat me down while I'm still aching

You concentrated on making sure I'd be forever hated
You cremated every dream I ever tasted
You annilated every thing I never wasted
I compilated all my hate you have created
My every good thought is gone
My inner peace is now wrong
There is no where that I belong
My every good thought is gone

Why can't you just ******** off and die?!
I've always wanted to cut out your eyes!
You keep taking away from my life!
And giving me back only lies!
I wish I could severre your throat with a scythe!

I walk along by myself
I walk along as myself
I'm just some piece of flesh among itself
Routine recluse of this shelter without help
I don't know this world
I hide in the corner all curled
Just give me my space
Let me hide behind my trophy of disgrace

Beating me senseless, mentally
Was your form of faceless depravity
Violence was your only freind
You kept narrowing down onto my end
Focused on destroying me
Every weapon was employed on me
You kept taking and I kept giving
Now I guess the joke's on me
I should have seen what your wanting to be
Still taking away from me
But now I can finally see
Why I can never be free
Beating me down was your game
I have only myself to blame
Every moment I felt I had fame
You quickly replaced it with shame

Why can't you just ******** off and die?!
I've always wanted to cut out your eyes!
You keep taking away from my life!
And giving me back only lies!
You make me regret the fact I'm alive!

Why can't you just ******** off and die?!
I've always wanted to cut out your eyes!
You keep taking away from my life!
And giving me back only lies!
Constantly draining the blood from my hide!

Come inside - my life
Breath - out - through my lungs
Look at - this world - through my eyes
This whole world hates me so damn much
I want so show you all just how much you all mean to me
When I make you eat it
Choke the whole damn thing down
I want to see you kiss your death
I am running out of breath
I want to see you kiss your death
Becaused I'm ******** running out of breath!

Why can't you just ******** off and die?!
I've always wanted to cut out your eyes!
You keep taking away from my life!
And giving me back only lies!
I want to cure myself of all sight!

Why can't you just ******** off and die?!
I've always wanted to cut out your eyes!
You keep taking away from my life!
And giving me back only lies!
My bride is my suicide!

Why can't you just ******** off and die?!
I've always wanted to cut out your eyes!
You keep taking away from my life!
And giving me back only lies!
You're my guide to homicide!

Beating me down was your game
I have only myself to blame
Every moment I felt I had fame
You quickly replaced it with shame
PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:02 am


Hi, I really really like your lyrics. I hope to be honored by reading more of them some time. It speaks truth, and you'll find alot of people who can relate to it. It'll reach a wide audiance of all social genres, if you put it to music... and make a demo... let me know, i'll want a copy, and play it every night as i fall into my restless slumber, and then i'll dream of you.

well.. i can't gurantee i'll dream of you, but hey... it can happen.
let me know.

~*Gynie

GYNIE


Nevaedra

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:45 am


I'd like to hear it in song form sometime.
PostPosted: Fri May 12, 2006 6:49 pm


i want to have sex with your song can you make that an option on you next poll? *hugs you for awesoome lyrics*

grotesquekreeple

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