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 Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2025 8:09 pm
  
Nox exhaled out his nose at the thought of Draco. No, Hasan wasn't wrong. he just didn't know what it was in his gut that night that told him that the man was bad news. He knew he could be honest with Hasan at the least, his large shoulders raising as he shrugged. " I mean it's nothing in particular. I just got a feeling. Maybe it was because I'd spotted Lily by then and didn't want her to end up like others I know." Left alone to raise a child or kicked out of said child's life. He cracked a grin though at the questions about his family. The vision of his mother and baby sister made him lean forward onto the back of his chair again as he nodded. " They're doing good. Keeping busy, she's keeping both of them on their toes." just as he had at that age, or so he'd been told. In that very same conversation with his mother, he was told he'd likely have one child who was just as bad or not worse because of how he was. Entirely out of love, but he knew she was probably right. He had a lot of karma coming his way for all the stress he caused her. " She's begun to pull herself up to stand. She writes at least once a week, I'll make sure to mention you next time. Heh, last time there was a handprint in the letter too." the thought of his sister making her mark on the letter, by accident from what he could gather, made him smile.
He raised an eyebrow at Hasan when he grimaced. Sure, he knew they were both sort of reckless back then, and hell, even now; but they wouldn't have abandoned Fio if she had asked for help. It was part of the reason he had lied to his best friend and brother all these years. He knew it wasn't done with ill intent and even though it caused more trouble for Hasan, he was glad he knew. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders knowing that the truth was out. " Once, maybe twice. If Fio needed help with something I would try to help out." he knew that between anyone else there might be a hint of jealousy that wasn't minor, but between them he at least hoped that they would be beyond that. He kept quiet as he listened to the rambled words, clearly, he had a lot on his mind. At his final words, Nox's gold eyes flashed, and he smiled slightly. " A work in progress is better than running away. You know that." and the few times he had seen the little girl he sure as hell had seen Hasan in her. Her face and even the way they smiled when they were excited about something. He was looking forward to hearing what new things he experienced if he chose to share them with him.
The next topic made him tense again though; the discussion of their blondes should have been a good one, but he had a feeling there was a catch. Something in the way Hasan spoke about him made him worry but he chose to keep his words to himself until he was done. At the mention of age, he exhaled out of his nose. There it was. The man, no the boy, he was young. Freshly into adult hood. He knew they were both only twenty-three, but damn did it feel like they were older. The war changed a lot for them both and he knew that was part of the reason Hasan was agonizing over this. Although the confession that he liked it without doing so he closed his eyes. This was so typical of the other man, although he too had his fair share of moments like this where he just second guessed everything. He felt his breath exhale sharply, but he still waited him out and only when he heard the mattress moving as Hasan sat upright, he opened his eyes and looked back at him. He let his own thoughts run as he kept the eye contact that the other made. Lily herself was only twenty. She had a little more experience, but he certainly wasn't ready to share with her half the things that he had gotten up to at the war and beyond. As far as he was aware he hadn't sired any kids, at least none that had come to his attention. " Oh don't be like that." he began before his hand gripped the sweater that laid on the back of his chair, sitting upright and thinking about throwing it at him but he chose not to. " Did he ever once say he didn't want it? You didn't make him do anything he didn't want to do." he ran a hand through his hair. " Sure it's intimidating to be someone's first partner but so long as you showed him what it should be like, you did nothing wrong." he couldn't help the itching question in the back of his mind, but he pushed it back a moment longer. " Besides, if that makes you bad, I'm right there with you. Lily is only twenty and I feel like I'm corrupting her little by little." he let his hand rest back down on the chair and tilted his head slightly before he flashed a warning grin at Hasan. " Besides, what did I tell you about talking about yourself like that?" he had pulled his hand up and balled up the sweater before he lightly tossed it the other man's face. He knew that he couldn't help it, and they both managed to be there for each other in their times that they doubted themselves; but he still didn't like to hear it.
The other thing they were good for each other for were the harsh truths and he knew this would likely turn into one such thing. " You don't have to admit it out loud, but from the way you talk about him, you like him. What's the harm in it, really?" it wasn't like he could get the boy pregnant after all, so that was one less thing they had to worry about.
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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2025 8:09 pm
 
♦ 𝙋𝙍𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙃 ♦
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location NOX'S DORM xxxxx company NOX xxxxx outfit IDK, SOME CLOTHES
Hasan was all too pleased to hear more about Devi, and couldn't hold back an affectionate grin. Though he'd been too young to remember Amena at that age, he had a few memories of chasing around baby Nadia once she learned how to walk. How strange it was that he could think of his sisters and Devi so fondly, but the thought of his own daughter still frayed his nerves. He'd missed so much of her life already. Would he feel differently once he met her? Would it awaken some innate sense of fatherhood? He knew blood wasn't everything -- there was no love lost between himself and his parents -- but now knowing all the things he and Aithne had in common, he had to wonder...
In the end, though, Aithne didn't need him. She had a family that loved her already, and enough uncles to fill the role of a father figure. Even Nox had helped out, apparently. He was much more suited to be a dad than Hasan was, with his unwavering sense of responsibility -- and, more importantly, stability. In both regards, Hasan was sorely lacking. He didn't even know what would come of his work in progress. "I guess you're right," he mused morosely. "But is it enough...?"
Fio seemed to think so. But Hasan still had to get there on his own, for everyone's sake.
For now, he could at least destress a bit on the topic of Pascha, though Nox was doing the exact opposite of what Hasan had hoped he would. Part of him wanted his brother to set him on the right path, to tell him that what he was doing was wrong, to give him the extra push he needed to stop his tryst before it went any further. Of course, the other part, the shameful part, the part that wanted this, only felt emboldened by Nox's assurances, and Hasan promptly attempted to grind that feeling into dust.
Still, Nox managed to hit the nail on the head for some of his troubles. Corrupting, that was a good word for it. "Twenty's a helluva lot better than eighteen," he mumbled, then perked up in realization. "So you're saying you have slept with h--"
The sweater hit him square in the face, and immediately flopped into his lap, revealing a playful scowl underneath. One that melted into dread and denial at Nox's next words. Hasan vehemently shook his head and clutched the sweater, resisting the urge to twist it into shreds. "No, no, it's not like that," he protested carefully. "It's -- I mean, I like him as a friend, you know, as a person. And obviously there's... a ton of physical attraction, too, but that's, that's all. I'm serious. Stop making that face." With a fistful of sweater, Hasan thrust his hand out, pointing at Nox in a threatening gesture. A moment later, he threw the sweater back at him.
Then he stood up, suddenly feeling too worked up to sit still. In typical Hasan fashion, he began to pace around the room, futzing with anything and everything he could get his hands on. You like him. The audacity! Nox knew Hasan wasn't about that life, not since --
"Actually, enough about Pasch. Let's talk about Lily. Tell me everything that's going on there. What nasty business are you two getting up to?"
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Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2025 9:50 pm
There it was. His brother's typical way of thinking. Nox understood the stress of the situation, but he also felt like he was a little hard on himself. So, the thrown sweater was a good way to break some tension even if he saw the tension return only seconds after. He raised one eyebrow at him as he stammered through his excuses. And that's exactly what they were. He knew that Hasan wasn't looking for it, but Nox just wished he could have fun with it too. A flash of mischievousness went through his eyes before Hasan threw the balled-up sweater back at him. He laughed under his breath and tucked it in after pulling it down from his face and leaned on it, holding his hands up in mock surrender. " Okay okay, I'll let it go. But you know I'm here all the time for you, no matter what you're going through, right?" he looked up at Hasan as he began to turn things around on him and he felt the corner of his lips quirk up into a smile. Hasan had hit the nail on the head when he began to put it together that Nox had finally gone all the way with the blonde.
" Yeah, you're sharp as ever." he meant this genuinely, as sometimes his subtle meanings got lost on people, or even his more obvious statements. He partially blamed his height and build, he knew that to some people it came off as intimidating. ' Who am I kidding, most people.' he finished the thought in his head before he sat up and tossed the sweater into a basket in the corner of the room. He noted in the back of his mind the name that Hasan used. Pasch. Either that was short for something or it was a full name. Regardless, he would keep it in mind. Not to be nosey but if this younger man was someone that Hasan at the very least liked at as a friend, it was worth standing up for him if he needed it. Of course, Nox had his own curiosities about the situation, but he didn't want to push too far and make a mistake. So, instead, he decided to focus on the question Hasan asked him. " Nasty? I'm hurt." he feigned offense before grinning at him. He of course knew there was likely no offense meant by it. " Well, I guess it started that night that there was the explosion. She had wanted to step away and have me explain what I meant and how I knew her." he let his head tilt to the side slightly as he breathed out. " Naturally she was surprised, even fought it at first, but she's so much like her mother that it's almost scary." he of course didn't mind, because all he had heard about Lilith was that she was a wonderful person who deserved the world and didn't get it. " I probably shattered her idea of her father being a good person, but I felt like she had the right to know." he paused again before he thought about how she hurt herself by accident and what happened afterwards.
He felt himself smirking slightly. " She wanted a distraction, so I gave her one after she kissed me." he had been genuinely surprised when she leaned over and began to kiss him, but he didn't mind and look where it got them now. He didn't go into too much detail but not enough and the other man would press. " I never wanted to do too much when she wasn't comfortable, or in the right mindset, so it took a few times but the history class seemed to rattle her enough so that she wanted to spend some time with me and one thing led to another..." the man trailed off as he leaned on the back of the chair again and looked up at Hasan as he paced and messed with things. He was glad he was able to come talk to him about things, they both needed this.
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Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2025 11:51 am
♦ 𝙋𝙍𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙃 ♦
· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·
location NOX'S DORM xxxxx company NOX xxxxx outfit IDK, SOME CLOTHES
“I know,” Hasan answered, and though his back was to Nox, his tone was genuine. He fiddled with a knickknack, turning it over and over in his hands before he set it back down. “I appreciate it.”
He meant it, too; he knew Nox would always have his back, and that he could talk to his brother about anything. But when it came to the things Hasan couldn’t admit to himself, let alone admit out loud… There was no helping that. It didn’t matter whether or not Nox would judge him for it, or whether he’d offer his support. In the end, the only thing that mattered was that there were certain things Hasan did not want to feel. And he could pretend to not feel them only so long as those things were never said aloud, never put out into the universe. He was supposed to be a rock – and rocks didn’t have soft centers.
As such, he was grateful Nox did not press the topic, and was more grateful still to be able to focus on something else. Hasan glanced up at his fiddling as his brother began to relent, one eyebrow raising at the mention of that night. The synchronicities between them were getting a little scary… Though clearly the progression of Nox and Lily’s relationship was starkly different. The more that Nox spoke, the more Hasan paid attention, eventually letting his idle hands rest completely as he turned to face the other man. And his second brow joined the first when the story got juicy.
Hasan crossed his arms and leaned against the dresser, doing his best to hold back a smile. “So you broke the news to her that her mother is dead, her father’s an a**, your father’s an a**, you edged her for days, and she still wanted to hit?” His smile finally broke out across his face as he shook his head. “She must be down very bad for you, my friend.” Not that Hasan could blame her; Nox was a looker, and more importantly, he was a good person. A strong person. Someone that people could depend on. Women tended to like that in a man – and Nox was exemplary in that regard.
“I tease, but I’m glad you’ve found someone,” the prince continued. “Sounds like you two have something pretty special going on.”
What was it like, he wondered, to not react to a blossoming relationship like you were getting acid poured into an open wound on your chest? Hasan knew it was a normal thing, something that damn near everyone went through, and the vast majority of them were happy to let it happen. So why was it so hard for him? Past hurt and future plans aside… Why could he only ever focus on the things that could go wrong?
He dug his nails into his bicep, then dropped both of his arms to his sides.
“Guess I should ask… Are you two a proper thing? Or is it still just a casual relationship?” His grin returned. “And am I gonna get to meet her?”
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2025 8:57 pm
Nox didn't miss the way Hasan faltered, although he didn't say anything. There were little physical things he'd noticed about his posture, facial expressions, and even hand movements that gave the prince away, but it was all tucked away in the back of Nox's mind. He could tell it wasn't something to be breached at this time, and the prince seemed more than happy to distract himself with the idea of Nox being with someone more than once. He nodded as he heard Hasan's appreciative words and then hummed, as the man's concise version of his story pulling a laugh out of him. He raised his hand up and pushed his hair back nodding his head and grinning. " It sounds bad when you put it that way!" he had to admit though, he thought Lily would have stepped back, he didn't expect her to completely continue to fall for him even as things continued. He didn't mind, in fact he was beginning to feel very comfortable with the fact that he could be open with her, and she felt like she could depend on him after something as traumatic as the history class.
After he pulled himself back together, he sat up more and crossed his arms as he smirked back over towards Hasan. " Yeah, I was surprised at first, hell, I didn't expect her to kiss me first that night; nor did I expect her to keep coming back after teasing her but I'm damn glad she did." Nox was able to drop his facade of duke when he was around his brother, and it was a nice feeling to have someone he could be so open with about things he didn't share with most other people. He knew first-hand what could happen if you kiss-and-tell and he wasn't about to do that to Lily. As he took in the last remark Hasan made, he felt his expression shifting to one that he only had a few times in his life. Twice, to be specific. The times that he had begun to form a legitimate connection with someone even if things had started out purely physical. An expression Hasan was sure to recognize in fact. He shook his head and pushed it away before keeping his arms crossed and leaning them on the back of his chair again. " Yeah, I really like her. She doesn't deserve all the things she's gone through, and I don't think I know the half of it." Not to mention he had felt close enough for him to be honest about his own family. Not many people knew that about him, and it was crazy even to him that he felt that a topic he could use to distract her.
His expression went dark for a moment at the question of when Hasan could meet her. Gold eyes flashed down to the floor as he thought to himself. He had introduced Hasan to both of the other parties that he had previously become close to. And while it was worthwhile for one of them, and they just lost that connection after a while he couldn't shake the screams of the young woman after she had been trapped under the rubble of that building, and all he could do was comfort her until she was gone. He moved one hand up and rubbed his nose. " Soon, I hope." he just had to convince himself that it would all be fine. That things wouldn't blow up in his face the second he decided to try and settle down in a situation.
That was one thing they shared a little too closely. While both of them were struggling in different ways, commitment was a hard one.
He raised his head back and up flashed Hasan a wry smile, a mixture of worry and happiness swirling in his gaze. " I just have to convince myself that things will be alright, especially after the last time I tried to... well, you know." he hadn't known the woman very well, but she had been more than accommodating when they were stationed and he had begun to actually picture a potential future with her when everything fell apart. He didn't want anything to happen to Lily, and deep down he knew this wasn't war so there was a far less chance of something happening. It was still hard to kick though.
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2025 8:19 pm
♦ 𝙋𝙍𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙃 ♦
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location NOX'S DORM xxxxx company NOX xxxxx outfit IDK, SOME CLOTHES
The sound of Nox’s laughter had Hasan grinning like an idiot. He was pleased to have brought it out, and even more pleased for them to be slipping back into the easy fun of guy talk. It had been a long time since they’d had anything juicy to share; the one-night stands and casual flings tended to make for boring conversation. Plus, Hasan enjoyed seeing the subtle shifts in Nox’s expression when Lily came up – the softening in his gaze, the tenderness in his smile.
So when Nox’s expression fell, Hasan feared he had taken things too far with his chatter. The duke’s face alone told him it wasn’t casual on his end, and suddenly Hasan remembered that he wasn’t the only one with relationship trauma. Perhaps he should have withheld his curiosity and let Nox offer up his feelings at his own discretion. But his brother dutifully responded to his question, confirming what Hasan was guessing.
Egg on his face, pushing Nox when he wasn’t willing to fess up to his own emotions.
There was a silence as Nox looked away, and Hasan could tell he was getting lost in his own thoughts. After a beat, the prince opened his mouth to tell Nox he didn’t need to answer, but he was beaten to the punch. Soon.
“Yeah,” Hasan said lamely, scuffing his heel on the floor. “No rush, obviously. And only whatever you’d be comfortable with.”
Guy talk was over nearly as soon as it had started, it seemed.
Hasan held back a sigh and tried to look supportive as Nox finally lifted his gaze. He knew plenty about the struggles of trying to convince yourself of something. At least Nox’s worries were reasonable, unlike his own. “I get it. It’s hard not to think of how everything can go wrong.” Hasan glanced to the side, rubbing the back of his neck. “The good news is the war is over. For now, at least. Maybe forever. And even if it isn’t, you’re stronger than you were back then.”
He rolled his neck and shoulders, as if the physical effort would shake him free of the concerns still clinging to his psyche. “All we can do is take it day by day, I guess. Not that that’s really working out for me…” Some days he got so scared that he avoided Pascha entirely, and others he couldn’t stay away to save his life. It was a wonder Pascha had yet to kick his a** to the curb. Hasan sighed. “s**t’s complicated. You’d think it would get easier the older we get, but… it’s hard to let go of the past, huh.”
Despite not feeling particularly optimistic himself, Hasan crossed the room to squeeze Nox's shoulder in support. “You got this. Whatever comes of it. And I've got you, if and when you need me.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2025 7:44 pm
Nox wasn't often entirely honest with anyone, the exception being Hasan for the most part. Even then both of them knew that there were some things that they needed to process first and then come through with. The sheer number of things that they knew about each other helped because anyone else, even Nadia or Amena, would have had to ask why he had commitment issues. Hasan didn't have to, hell, he had been there towards the end of it. A sigh escaped him, and he smiled hesitantly but a genuine one as he looked up to the other man. He knew that between the two of them they had their fair share of issues, but they at the least had each other. " Hopefully the war is over. For as comfortable as we got fighting, we can always find ways to deal with that. I'd rather keep our families safe." That at least he knew they both felt. Between the princesses and his own family, they both kept themselves busy.
There was also something about the thought of Lily in battle that made his skin crawl. Sure, Fio was able to hold her own, and he knew that if it came down to it Lily probably could too, but there was so much uncertainty in the battlefield that it wasn't easy to predict what would happen. He had hardened to protect those he loved, but he wouldn't wish that one anyone. " Even if it started back up, I wouldn't let her become part of it." he would actively go and make sure her piece of s**t father wouldn't force it. Granted, he probably would cause more problems but in the end he'd find some way to get her with his mother, she would be well protected there. " Getting over the past is a huge thing, one that we're both working on." they were able to put up good fronts, but deep down there was often the same worries between the pair.
When Hasan set his hand on Nox's shoulder he raised his eyes and smiled while he nodded his head. " Of course. Same goes for you, when you're in a good spot I want to meet your blonde too." He moved one hand up and squeezed Hasan's shoulder back before he had another thought. " If you're up to it once it happens, you'll have to tell me how meeting Aithne goes. Between you and Fio, she'll be one strong little girl." that and well-protected. Even if she didn't know how many people were on her side, there was at least three people who were likely willing to do anything for her.
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