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 Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2022 6:14 pm
"All these social networks, and these computers
Got these n*****s running around, like they some shooters." Four men in matching CWF shirts stand with their hands clasped in front of them as the camera shifts and pans rapidly around the room, something that could happen in CWF because it is the big leagues. Slowly turning around we see the head of the snake, the cute one, with a thick line of white antibiotic paste on his lips. His eyes have dark lines around them and his reaction time is a little slow, but honestly, he looks like he's in the best shape of his life. We all understand and know this as he speaks. "See them in real life, they trying bust maneuvers... You guys just don't know when to give it up, do you? I mean, Vince, we thought it was over, didn't we?!"
Slapping his partner on the shoulder and tipping a little too far forward hands reach for his arms trying to keep him balance as he steadies himself. Vince, the straw that stirs the drink, the bad boy, steps in now it was his time to speak. "Do you know how much money this guys bosses had to spend to take you suckas out?! It's over! Finito! Got it?! I mean seriously, how many invasion angles are we going to have to book this guy in before you get the picture?! I mean, help me out here boss." Vince turns to Freak, who is doubled over near a potted plant. "It' been YEARS. Get over it! We won, you lost! You want to blame HIM for killing the territory?! You're DAMN right he killed the territory and he's PROUD OF IT!!" The record scratches as the two men on either side of the men turn around to reveal themselves to be none other than world famous Tik Tokers and independent wrestlers the Voros Twins. The wild cards. A huge commotion is heard, screaming teens flock to the scene as the camera shakes even harder, security rushing to keep between the filming set and them as camera's start flashing. "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
The call out in unison as Patrick Voros steps forward first shrugging his shoulders incredulously. "Uhhhhhhhhh BOSS. What's are you talking about? XLL?! What's that stand for, Xtreme LOSER'S LEAGUE?!" All of them burst out laughing and so do the teens, Patrick leaning over the sign an autograph as the guards make extra care to stand between Freakshow and the high schoolers. Chris Voros steps forward, taking over the scene. "But I mean, seriously boss? Who ARE these guys?!" Staring at his phone, trying to phonetically pronounce the names, "Shalom Croft?! Is this show even on TV?!!" Stepping back in with a smug, sure look on his face, Freakshow speaks licking the paste that dribbled from the corner of his lips. Opening his palms out towards the camera--" No, they are NOT on TV. And they NEVER will be. They are an indie. And they've been CALLING me and BEGGING me to come in. I mean seriously guys. BEGGING ME. P..P...P...Please Mr. Freakshow!!!! P...Please... Our GAY little vanity project NEEDS your drawing power!" Some of the teenage girls gasp, not used to hearing a rich older man use the word gay as an insult. "The only way you'll ever see me in an XLL ring is dragging my cold, dead body into it!"Russo steps in, laughing hysterically as he massages his partners shoulder slapping him on the a**--
"HAHAHAHAHA!! Uh huh, you won't see us in the ring, but you WILL see us at the show, capeesh?!! You want to take food out of our mouths?? Ruin our livelihood?!! Try to create what this man destroyed after so many years? Well you PUNKS have got another thing coming! Yeah, you won't see us at the show, but you better believe we'll be there. On OUR terms. And you're going to LET us do it because you NEED us. What are you going to do, build new stars?!!"
Russo leans down, using a little bitty baby voice, imitating that whoever he was talking about was insecure and crying-- "Awwww what are you going to do, huh?? Find the next big thing?! Where you gunna get that huh?!! It's DONE!! Create-a-wrestlers like you are DONE and licensed properties are IN. That's why YOU'S GUYS have been out of business for TWO YEARS while CWF the best damn company in the business has been going strong. Face it. You're a buncha ******** DINOSAURS. And you think we're just going to sit there, and let you step on our territory after you disrespected us?! Yeah, tough luck with that one CHIEF. Now I'm putting this out there ONE TIME and ONE TIME only. You're either Team CWF or you're NOTHING. So let's hear it, huh....
Either stand with us, Team CWF and DEFEND everything we've built... Or let us be RELEGATED To the DUSTBIN of HISTORY. Now lets hear it, are you WITH ME.... Or are you AGAINST ME!!??"
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Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2022 12:38 am
"All these social networks, and computers
Got these pussies walkin' around, like they aint losers"A twinky hispanic man entered the room, in tears as he holds a microphone to his mouth. He is wearing a purple sparkly speedo and a bowtie, equally as sparkly but clearly a bit stained. He rapped out the the previous words, and the following ones: "I told you long ago...on the road, I got what they waitin' for
Don't run from nothing dog, get your soldiers tell 'em I aint layin' low"A man with a very commanding presence enters the room, weighing in at a cool 123 pounds, wearing a black polar-bear fur coat. That's right, it was black, from all the oil he was dealing in. The 30-year old retiree stumbles over into the commotion, knocking into a Da Vinki and having to be held back up by the hispanic twink. He slams his fist into Russo's back and smiles at him, leaning in for a big hug and kiss on the cheek. He completely ignores Freakshow for only a moment before turning into him and kissing him directly on the lips, but only so he can sniff up some of the powder still left beneath his nose. He rips the microphone away from his attendee. "So this XXL, uh...Yeah I know some of them folks, they aint good people, homes. They uh...oh wait a second. Roberto, gimmie." The man is handed a t-shirt and he struggles to put it on, for whatever reason choosing to wear it OVER his coat. He hacks up some phlegm and licks his lips, trying to get any lasting residue back in him for whatever reason. The distraction of the hacking takes away from the t-shirt -- a bright red cropped shirt that reads "I am not Brantley Summers". "You go anywhere out there, and when someone speaks the name Vince Russo, they PISS themselves. In a COVID ravaged land, when Nicky Delabonte Jr. walks in the room, the people don't piss, they ******** s**t. That's when you know you've won over the crowd. That's how you know when the blood money aint from an HIV patient, it's from the queen of england, it's from a bald eagle, it's from your first born daughter losing her virginity and getting a train ran on her in the parking lot of the Applebees that I OWN on 1360 Fulton in Bed-Stuy!" Nicky slams Russo again in the back with an even harder punch, sending him stumbling forward a little bit. He puts his arm around Freakshow and leans into the microphone, making sure to breathe as much as he can in the face of the man who didn't peak in high school and is instead still out here getting cuter. "As for the XXL, that's too big for me. I wear a children's medium with pride, because I know it's the great men and women of Wuhan who stitched that together for me. I know it's going to fit right because I'm BUILT to SUCCEED. Whoever is out there in that Double-Extra Large needs to understand one thing, and one thing only." Roberto hands Nicky a pair of sun glasses, and he steps back. He puts them on, but then quickly steps forward to get in Freakshow's face. He rips the glasses away and tosses them aside, locking eyes with The Sheik Abdul Bashir. He screams. "THE DEAL IS FINALIZED, AND THE NAME ON THE CONTRACT DOES SAY NICHOLAS."
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Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2022 5:15 pm
'HOLY s**t! HOLY s**t! HOLY s**t! HOLY s**t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Freakshow screams back in the mans face in a moment of pure intensity as Russo leans over heaving loudly and heavily as both of the twins massage his back. Both men, extremely similar looking, stood face to face with residual horse paste on eachother's lips. Using a firm, deep tissue technique to really work out the kinks in the back of Vince Russo, the former leader of S.E.X groans as a loud pop echoes through the rooms. Corralling everyone together, the Twins lean down under the legs of Freak lifting him up in the air straining under the weight of the retiree. Roberto leans down as well, lifting up Delabonte with relative ease on both of his shoulders as both men start to play patty cake together. Whatever issues they had in the past, delinquent child support payments, all of that was washed away because now they were on the same side. The REAL side. Russo, having finally recovered, reemerges with a bottle of champagne shaking it violently he pops the bottle and the cork shoots straight into the crowd as someone lets out a blood curdling scream. An eruption of bubbly drink coats all of the men in the picture as Freakshow removes his shirt now putting it on his head like a doo-rag.
"Do you SEE this?! THIS is the GREATEST collection of minds in the HISTORY of this BUSINESS and NICK DELABONTE! Look at that PHYSIQUE. Now I want ALL of you to pay VERY close attention, because I'm only going to say this ONE more TIME---"
Turning to look straight in the camera as Freakshow starts to lose balance on the shoulders of the Voros twins. Rocking back and forth, he flails his arms desperately his eyes widening as he reaches for the fur coat of Delabonte. Grasping it in his hands, he leans forward hoping to topple the other man with him and use him as a cushion for the fall. Unfortunately, his hands slip from the coat leaving black oily splotches on his hands, grip slipping as his equilibrium fails him and he tumbles from the shoulder of the twins falling directly on the top of his head.
CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The New Yorkers body stands up vertically, going as stiff as a board. The room falls deathly silent as Vince pauses, a big lump sliding down his throat as he turns around. Stage hands, teenage girls, and security rushes around as for about ten seconds he body stands up perfectly balanced vertically on top of his skull as a river of dark red pools around his cranium. Roberto's face turns bright green, gagging as he somehow manages to keep Delabonte balanced. After a few more moments, Freakshow slowly tips over falling face down to the ground his body completely rigid like it was frozen in an ice block. The Twins, standing paralyzed, their faces frozen, slowly turn towards the camera with their mouths puckered up speaking in unison.
"UH OH GUYS.... LOOK LIKE WE'VE GOT A BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG PROBLEM!!!!"
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Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2022 5:41 pm
Damn, no one ever thought it would go down like this. Freakshow, the supreme p***y stinker, lay dead on the ground. Roberto carefully let Nicky off his shoulders as he dropped to his knees next to the downed body. The Da Vinki's quickly pulled out their phone. "Oh no, is there a doctor in the house?"
"Yeah, we need a doctor for the head of the snake!" A woman in a pristine white lab coat wearing a mask and gloves rushes over, in a panic she stops directly next to the Voros Twins. "I'm a veterinarian, what's this about a snake?" A sick beat drops and a silly tiktok song kicks in, driving the entire room to begin dancing and laughing along. A robotic text-to-speech woman speaks out: "The joke is that we said we needed a doctor for a snake who was actually a person and a vet showed up instead of a real doctor"! Vince Russo tries his best to get Freakshow to come to, slapping him a few times over the back of the head to try and wake up the fart-smella. "Wake the ******** up...WAKE THE ******** UP! We've got business to get to! We've gotta stop these stupid ********, it's the NEW WORLD ORDER. CASH MONEY, HEROES! I LOOK UP TO THE SKY, WAKE UP! GOD ******** DAMMIT, WAKE UP!" Nicky begins to finger paint on Freakshow's back with his blood, taking a handful and smearing it across his shirt as to symbolically paint the "NOT" the same color as the shirt so it reads "I am (not) Brantley Summers". Mark Laundre storms in from the kitchen, crying his eyes out as he preforms a massive splash on Vince Russo, crushing him underneath his sheer weight. His tears mix with El Hijo Del Crusher's blood, creating the most prolific ragu sauce you've ever seen. Why did this happen? Good Question. The room was filled with Bad Boys and Fiscal Responsibility was at an all time low. Will Smith slammed Chris Rock with a clenched up fist that would make John Hancock squirm. There was no hero to save the world this time. The last chance CWF had was bleeding out on the ground with a TikTok flash mob happening around him. Nicky stood and knew what he must do. He grabbed Roberto by the throat and bent him over in front of everyone. He forced a Da Vinki to come over and get on his hands knees. Nicky sat on the back of the social media icon, and then bent Roberto over his knee. He began to spank him to the beat of Ozzy Osborne's Crazy Train. Caught somewhere between indifference and good, Nicky was attempting to do the only thing he knew how: entertain millions of people around the world and be the great he that he could be. With every spank of his own personal twinklossus, the crowd began to get into it, singing along to the song. Vince Russo, now bleeding himself from the large Mark Laundre splash, poured something into the pool of blood that formed around Freak, and seemingly it almost looked like some of it was being soaked back in. One would think that would be all, but it wasn't.
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Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2022 4:37 pm
"HANDS ON THE ******** GROUND NOW!"Just then three completely identical looking men in flap tops and wraparound Oakley's descend on the scene, holding up their badges. The police officers completely ignore the Voros Twins, Freakshow's body, and Vince Russo who is peeling himself off the floor. Instead they made a beeline for Roberto kindly asking Delabonte who was clearly not a threat to let the man down before two of the officers rain down hard stomps to the head of the individual. The other officers comes charging towards Mark Laundre who executes a kip up off the floor and in one swift motion pops the man high into the air for a Samoan Drop. Hitting the ground and beating his chest as one of the other officer zipties Roberto's hands, while the other repeatedly strikes him in the ear drum with the baton with controlled, precision strikes in self defense. Within seconds Laundre has torn through them with dual lariats as the ambulance arrives accidentally stepping hard on the mans head. As more officers flood the scene the swing their batons at the Nigerian man who lets out a loud wailing sound. "ALRIGHT CLEAR OUT EVERYBODY, CLEAR OUT, SHOW'S OVER NOW!!"A profusely sweating producer clutching a clipboard comes through the crowd, "WE NEED TO CUT THE FEED!!!" He screams extremely red faced as Laundre has already made his way to the ambulance that arrived flipping it over. The crowd screams in shock as the glass shatters all over the floor, the medics who'd already loaded Freak onto the stretcher dropping them to help the driver out of the wreckage. In all this carnage the Voros twins swoop in grabbing the stretcher carrying the man towards Vince Russo's SRT with its trunk popped simply tilting the stretcher over to dump their boss into the trunk. The creative genius sits in the front seat, his shirt stained with blood ribs cracked as he pushes to start the vehicle both Voros twins sliding in through the window as the car wheels screech, "Hey boss you forgot Dillabonte!!" they boys protest as Vince slams his fist onto the volume button. "CUT THE ******** FEED!!!" The producer screams tackling the cameraman to the ground as everything goes black only audio feeding through to television now as the sound gets more and more distant--
In and out of the shadows, at the highway of mistakes
When you get down, you get down to nowhere
You pay your respects, people, to higher stakes
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2022 1:19 am
Through everything, it seemed that Nicky became an afterthought. He blinked wildly as the local authorities grabbed hold of Roberto and read him his miranda rights. Nicky felt stunned, betrayed, and hurt -- he had no idea that Roberto was a criminal, and felt disgusted over their previously fruitful relationship. Nicky kicked a can that was next to him, sticking his hands in his pockets and frowning. There would be no dino chicken nuggies tonight, no trip to Prague this Summer, and no more guns in the valley. Nicky Delabonte Jr. pulled out a gun and shot out the back tire of Vince Russo's car, stopping it momentarily from taking off. The crowd scattered in fear screaming, Mark Laundre losing his mind as he began to rip an EMT limb from limb with the strength of forty oxen on six days worth of molly. Nicky's mindful erection grew as the blood rushed to his brain, with the sound of sirens growing from nearby. Then teenage girls ran up to the EMT and tore apart his rib cage, pulling apart his inside and feasting upon it themselves. Mark Laundre beat on his chest and howled some more, but then suddenly something happened. The crowd froze in shock. The authorities were stunned. Mark Laundre was a large white man in blackface. "Woah bro...that's not cool, man. Like, to ******** think you can pretend to be someone you're not like that? Is that ******** blackface, dude? Fahget about even thinking you're gonna be with us anymore. We're ******** through, bro. Get the ******** out man, get the F OUT!" Vince Russo, who has exited the car respectfully, clocks Mark Laundre across the face and drops him to the ground. The crowd cheers at his heroic action while the Da Vinki's emerge from the car, taking hold of Sweeny Todd's body from the trunk and walking him over Weekend at Bernie's style. They whip his head as if to show him spitting on Laundre which gets a massive pop. The teenage girls in the crowd, along with several onlookers who showed up and the producer, all take turns beating the absolute disgusting ******** out of Mark Laundre. It's despicable. The local authorities try their best to break it up, as to protect one of their own, but they struggle. In the heat of it all, Nicky drags Roberto by his foot and the Voros Twins carry Freak back to the car and toss him back in the trunk. Nicky does the same with Roberto as well, leaving him on top of the CEO's body, a** to mouth. Nicky hops in the passenger seat and Russo gets back behind the wheel and the Voros Twins slide back in. The car slowly turns back on and innocently drives off, one wheel blown out and sparking. The lyrics to Alice Cooper's "School's Out" fart out of the speakers as the group disappears. As the angry mob continues to beat Mark Laundre to near death, they begin to realize something -- he isn't white at all. He was covered in three layers -- pitch black oil, white antibiotic cream, and then once again his natural dark skin. The police, in shock, begin to mace him and cause the Nigerian nightmare to scream out. The girls go back to eating the EMT. A "Lets Go Brandon" chant breaks out as everyone hands their cell phones over to the producer. What stays in Vegas, definitely happened in Vegas. The first rule of Fight Club is that I have no clue what you're talking about. Guga from GugaFoods exits from the kitchen with a Japanese A5 Wagyu Picanha and serves it to everyone as laugh and joy overtake racism and bleeding. Team CWF was stronger than ever, and the Xtreme Loser's League was already under the Smoky Mountain Wrestling banner.
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