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EDIT ::

I'm sorry. I was a wreck when I wrote this, and I don't really want anyone reading that.

Every time I go for help on my situation, I get scared because everyone's answer is that I need to get out of here.

And it's weird, because when the problems are at their worse, I panic and want to run. I don't care about reporting them; I'm ready and willing. But lately I know my mom and I will be normal again in no time; so I don't bother doing anything to help myself. So I'm pretty sure I know I'll never ask for official help...I'll never make that call unless I get beaten, which I don't think will happen.

So instead, I want to ask something. When my mom goes nuts on me, what can I do to not break down? Everytime she does this to me I go 'off' for days. I'm not myself, I lapse into a depression and a series of anxiety and panic attacks, which has happened yet again since yesterday's blow up. (I made a joke, she went nuts, you know the drill).

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to prevent that from happening to me? I know this will happen again in the future. And I want to handle it better next time.

Thanks for reading, sorry if it's long.

If you don't mind me asking, how do you know that "your mom and you will be normal again in no time"? This verbal and psychological abuse has been going on for a long, long time, no? What makes you think that it's suddenly going to stop, like someone flipping a switch?

I would still urge you to go seek professional help, or to get the authorities/social services group to intervene. Otherwise, it still seems to me that this isn't going to end.

When she goes nuts on you... hmm. Can you get out of the house somehow? Go for a walk, go visit a friend, go to the mall? Or can you lock yourself in a room (bedroom, bathroom), until she leaves you alone? Or something to distract yourself, like a book or a video game?

I don't know what else to suggest, sorry. What I did want to mention was this - if you end up not seeking professional help/authority before you leave, what kind of an impact might this have on your relationship with your fiance once you move to Europe to be with him?

I mean, I've dealt with a passive and overbearing mother for years, and I'm still trying to deal with it now. I'm 19 now - what my mother was doing to me had been going on since my mid-teens. And that wasn't even bad verbal or physical abuse - just psychological stress and anxiety. I ended up moving out because my anxiety was at the point where it was interfering with my daily life, and I did actually have a counsellor recommended to me by the family doctor.

I'll tell you what I told the guild member who self-diagnosed herself a nymphomaniac: No one can help you until you try to help yourself. And although I don't mean this in a negative or condoning way, I also don't think it's fair to your fiance, that you're doing this to yourself and allowing yourself to be treated this way for months and months on end without getting any sort of help or treatment for it. Especially if it ends up having a negative effect on your relationship with him, or causing conflict between you two once you're living together.

(I myself am still dealing with my problems... I have a very low self-esteem, I don't like myself much, and I'm very passive. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year -and counting- but it's still something that we both have to struggle with. I have to struggle to change myself, sometimes when I don't really want to, and he struggles to be patient with me sometimes when I'm acting in a manner that he doesn't like.
So you are not the only person dealing with personal issues heart , though I am aware that yours are much more serious than mine.)

Oh I'm ok, sorry. I didn't mean to imply I had serious problems... just some self problems that need working on.

I didn't mean to come off as uber-bitchy either, sorry, so my apologies if I did. Have you considered that your mom might be bipolar, or have some sort of mental disorder that causes those mood swings? Because they don't sound very normal in any way, shape or form. sweatdrop

You didn't imply that, don't worry. I'm very compasionate for everyone that goes through anything bad. It's just how I am. And toy didn't come off as bitchy.

I don't know why my mom does it. She's never showed any signs of mental sickness ever. She hasn't done that to me in a very long time.

Now I just get the guilt trips all the time about moving to England. But I'm staying as strong as I can.

it helps a lot to write down your feelings on paper, just to get them out, you know?

im sorry to break it to u, but ur mother needs help, and if she isent going to get it u need to make the call, hse isent going to jus get better, ur welling urself into a false sense of safty about ur mother cuz u luv her and thats normal but u have 3 options, tell sommone, get ur mother help, or continue thinking its going to stop when its not