[Journal] :: Jahi

[[kaleido]]

Entry// 03 Advanced RP Prompt
Medium// PM Submission
Dumyr// Jahi
Mentor// Marseth
Status// APPROVED! Jahi became Marseth's Apprentice!

RP Prompt #01

Crash! One of the smaller bookshelves has suddenly lost all of its books to the floor! How did that happen? Marseth isn't looking too happy. After all you just woke her up!

... time to explain... Maybe lying would be best...

Expectations :: Have fun, be creative! Was it your Dumyr's fault? Was it something else? A rowdy friend, perhaps...? Or maybe it really was just an accident! Whatever it is, lying is always an option, if you don't want to tell the whole truth. Feel free to be as outlandish as you want - after all, Marseth does love a good story!

Response

Jahi laid sprawled out on his back, buried underneath a pile of books. Every part of his body ached, but he needed to think fast as Marseth stormed down the steps. Jahi woke early to get a head start prior to the shop's opening for business. The lamps were burning down when he padded gently down the stairs, casting eerie shadows on the walls. The lighter Jahi tried to make his steps, the louder they creaked on the stairs. Certain that he would not be able to leap the last few steps with the same grace as his mentor, he decended at a painfully slow rate.

The nightmare that swept the front counter and a large portion of the floor was proof that Marseth burned the midnight oil for another night in a row. His intention was to organize things so he could have a quiet morning for a change. However, an empty ink bottle carelessly discarded by his mentor was the key to his undoing as well as that of the book shelf he clawed at to save himself.

"What exactly do you think you are doing, Jahi?" Marseth scowled, surveying the damage and pulling Jahi free of the carnage. "Are you naturally this clumsy or do you like making me think I'm being robbed?"

Jahi's mouth hung open as Marseth's eyes leveled with his own. It was completely an accident, but one that could have been circumvented had his mentor disposed of her rubbish properly. He couldn't tell Marseth that it was her fault that he woke her up, but then again lying wouldn't necessarily be a smart idea either. What could he possibly do to pull himself out of hot water this time around? A story? Marseth always loved stories, but the question was would Jahi be able to pull it off?

"Well, you see. It's a funny thing you should ask, Ms. Marseth," Jahi chuckling nervously, using the manners Kalena taught him. 'Kalena told you tons of stories of the outside world before you got shipped back here,' he lectured himself inwardly. 'Think you, bonehead!'

Racking his brain as fast as he possibly could, Jahi tried not to get distracted by Marseth's foot tapping impatiently or her bedhead sticking up in everywhich direction. He couldn't help but think how frightening she looked towering over him in the candle light, shadows creepily cast over her eyes and making her glasses glint evilly. 'A story... a ghost story! Surely that would amuse her?'

"When I lived in the outside world with Kalena, she would tell me bedtime stories at night. She loved to read, just like you," Jahi began, stammering to present his ideas coherently. "One night, she was reading a collection of ghost tales. I asked her to read me one, but she knew that she shouldn't because I would be scared. Heck, I'm scared of my own shadow from time to time."

Jahi recounted a story that was neither fantastic nor spectacular. One that was based on something called an 'urban legend'. Kalena had told him it was one her babysitter told her when she was a child. The main character was a babysitter watching two children since the parents went out for the evening. Jahi explained the story slowly, trying to keep the mood with the atmosphere. A person kept calling the house on something called a 'telephone', telling the sitter to check on the children.

"Very well, then. Continue." Marseth yawned, crossing her arms; a clear indication that she was either humoring him or needing time to wake up so she could punish him properly. "I'd be interested to hear this tale from the other world,"

"Each time she received a phone call, she'd check on them, and the children would be fast asleep in their bed, but by the third phone call, the babysitter called the 'police'. Well they called back moments later after 'tracing the phone call'." Jahi continued, relieved that Marseth had calmed down and taken an interest in his story. " 'It's coming from within the house!' the policeman yelled. 'Get the children and get out of there!' But when the babysitter rushed to the children's bedroom... they were gone!"

Jahi grinned in satisfaction as Marseth gave an audible gasp and began hammering him with questions about what happened next. He told her that it was the reason why it was called a "ghost story" because there was no explaination nor resolution. It was one of the first times Jahi felt confident and his eyes were wide with excitement not fear nor sadness. In his next letter to Kalena, he would have to thank her for helping him 'out of pickle' as she always said.

"That's a fantastic story, but it doesn't explain why you knocked the book shelf hallow," Marseth smirked, raising her brow in curiousity.

"Actually, it d-d-doesn't, but I was just so scared," Jahi's voice trailed off.

Shuffling his paw nervously, he accidently kicked the empty ink bottle. It clinked across the floor, rolling to a stop at Marseth's feet. She picked it up, examining it and shaking her head. Jahi looked up at her with his ears pitifully flopped back. His face said everything that he wanted to say. Though the truth was written all over it, he couldn't bring himself to say it and Marseth knew it.

"I was wondering where this got off to," Marseth hooted, before yawning again. "Go back to bed, Jahi. I'll clean up my own mess."

Elysia Kavanagh

Congratulations!

Welcome, kaleidoscopegrl, to the Advanced RP. Gimme a little bit to update Jahi's cert, and then I'll move your journal over to the Baarikmet subforum. 4laugh Feel free to finish up the current RP, then start being mentored. That'll work just fine. 4laugh

Elysia Kavanagh (Judge/Marseth NPC)

Originality :: 15 :: Didn't expect you to use THAT sort of story to try and get out of it!
Culture :: 9 :: I doubt Marseth would REALLY think of robbery right off the bat, but it works for funniness. XDDD The biggest problem in the first part was that you referred to "bedhead"... I don't think ruffled fur really looks much like hair sticking every which way, so...
Characterization :: 8 :: Not quite sure if Marseth would be that easily distracted or if she'd be so... easily forgiving after crashing into a bookcase. That's a big thing for her.
Diction :: 9 :: Slightly rushed, but very good!
Bonus :: 2 :: I liked how adorable Jahi was, but nothing really jumped out at me (aside from the text colors. XD) So... yeah.
Total: 43

All in all, though, it was really well written! I just get really nit-picky about mood and flow. More than I need to. But you definitely deserve to be in the RP.

Trintika (Guest Judge)

- Creativity - 15/15
- Interest - 15/15
- Mastery - 10/10
- Relevance to Prompt - 5/5
- Bonus - 3/5
- Total - 48/50

I really loved your entry! It was adorable, and I couldn't take my attention away from it. I couldn't find anything wrong with it at all, really! This was exactly the sort of thing I had in mind with the prompt, and I really don't think I could've done much better myself. <333 Props to ya.[/