Welcome to Gaia! ::

This seems very insignificant against some of the truly horrific and saddening stories that people got the courage to share in here, but...no one's going to judge me, here; that's a strengthening thought.

My ex-boyfriend. We got off to a rocky start because of his jealous ex-girlfriend, also known as my best friend.

All right, I know it's horrible to date your best friend's guy, but their relationship had been in a downward spiral for months before the break-up, and I insisted on a month-long grace period before I'd even let him ask me out, though he'd already confessed feelings for me.

So, a few weeks after we started going out, I'd already put up with a month and a half of her calling me a slut and a whore; the usual. He punched her in the side of the head. I talked her out of pressing charges. I stayed with him.

He was never physically violent towards me to that extent, but boy, if you read off a list of "warning signs" for a potential wife-beater/serial killer, it was him. He was hyper-jealous (still is), demanded to know where I was at every second of the day, blew a gasket if I had to cancel dates, hated my friends (who were friends with the ex-girlfriend) and tried to convince me to hate them, too. Textbook case, almost, but I refused to see it.

Finally, after two months, we were having a mild argument that escalated to him yanking a fistful of hair and calling me a "******** b***h" in the middle of class. That's when I started making a record.

That was possibly the best thing I did in that relationship. I kept a small, unobtrusive notepad where I jotted down the date and place and described what transpired. I saved text messages with phrases I considered threatening, i.e., "You better hope, for your sake, that this works out..." "I'm holding you personally responsible..." and the like. It gave me confidence, to know that I wasn't imagining things and that I could prove it.

Thankfully, I never had to show it to an authority figure; it also gave me the courage to break it off with him.

I'm glad I could separate myself from a boy that clearly spelled trouble before anything tragic happened; it scares me when others are in so deep that they feel they cannot. Please, if you're ever in an abusive relationship, begin cataloging the CRIMES committed against you. It's physical, irrefutable proof that something is happening.

completely agreed with naughty koolaid. You're one of the most courageous gals I know. I'm also happy that you were strong enough to breaking it off before it does become one of those horrible stories that people in this guild do have unfortunetly. Yay for you!

That was the very brave thing to do.