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 Posted: Wed May 08, 2019 10:55 pm
Who: Laurel and Lulu
Where: A cafe in Barton town
When: Early afternoon
Weather: Warm and breezy; A picturesque spring day
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The following days after the funeral hadn't been kind to Laurel. He was watching his entire family struggle to cope with the loss and was starting to feel more and more out of place as the days went on. Furthermore, that same dream kept plaguing him, giving him chills and keeping him up at night, and he was running out of ideas on what to do. Everything he knew how to do had already been exhausted. He was nearing the end of his rope. He had to talk to someone, but not just anyone. Someone outside of his family, but also someone he looked up to and knew he could trust.
Lulu was the first person that popped up in his mind. He shot the rabbit a quick text and arranged to meet up with her at a cafe near where she lived sometime the same afternoon. It was a good hour walk away from his house, but with the weather as beautiful as it was, he didn't mind. Plus, he really didn't want to ask Oliver for a ride. He had so much else to worry about.
He grabbed a table by the window as soon as he arrived and waited patiently for Lulu to appear. He hadn't given her much of an idea of what he wanted to talk about aside from meeting up and planned on covering anything she wanted to order, but it was only now that he was here that he was starting to get nervous. Would she understand what he was going through? Would she think less of him after this? He tapped the table nervously.
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Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 11:41 am
LuLu was not unaccustomed to impromptu texts from her acquaintances. She was a social butterfly, and the extensive contact list growing on her cell phone attested to that much. So whether it was somebody from the Lab or a one time workout partner from Selene’s boxing gym, she had grown to enjoy the random conversations and invitations that popped up.
She had accepted Laurel’s offer with her typical enthusiasm. There was no shortage of smile emotes and hearts in her reply. Of course, she would join him at the local Barton cafe.
It was only a ten minute walk from Joshua’s apartment which allowed her, for once, to arrive on time. Somehow gaining a lower body now made it take twice as long getting ready. Who knew it took so much effort to coordinate a top with a pair of shorts. But, the short distance of the cafe had worked in her favor.
She quickly spotted the cheetah frei sitting next to a window. He did not have anything drinks or food set out so she assumed he must have arrived shortly before her and was still getting settled. The rabbit hurried on her short legs and swooped into to give the boy a strangle tight hug. Once she pulled away, LuLu noted the sunken look to his eyes and the dark bags hanging under them. She took her seat and offered, “How are things?”
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Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:21 pm
Laurel had practically launched himself out of his seat as he saw LuLu hurrying toward him and, with the best smile he could muster, reciprocated the hug. If he'd been feeling less anxious he probably would have squeezed her just as tight and remarked on how strong she was, but instead he stayed quiet and drifted back down to his seat. Part of him felt terribly awkward now that she was here, while another part of him felt relieved, but there would be no clue which part of him would lead him through this conversation until he actually tried.
Luckily, LuLu had done the starting for him, all he had to do was respond. That was easier said than done, however, and the cheetah found himself scrambling for words. Eventually his ears did most of the talking for him as they pinned back against his head. He had to say something. Come on. Anything. He took a deep breath.
"Not... Good." He sighed, a hand immediately going for the side of his forehead. "I can't like... Put it any other way. Not good. Really rough. Bad?"
He leaned forward, both hands encompassing his face and gave himself another moment. It was in this moment that he felt guilty. She probably didn't want to hear about any of this. She wasn't involved, what was he thinking? It was too late for that now, though. He'd opened this can of worms, now he had to lie in it.
"Look... I..." He said, turning to glance at the rest of the cafe before looking back to LuLu. "Just really needed someone to talk to about what's been going on and I can't ask anyone in my family right now. If you're not okay with that, I totally understand, but I want to buy you something to eat and drink regardless. I don't know anything about what they serve here, so it'd be whatever you'd like, if you want anything at all, that is..."
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Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:43 pm
As Laurel’s ears shifted back against his skill, Lu’s perked forward curiously. He seemed so uncertain. It was very unlike his usual behavior. Her companion normally carried himself with such verve, and it was like his vibrancy had been dialed down ten notches. The frei’s cryptic explanation left her searching for a proper rationale as to why he was being so oddly withdrawn.
LuLu pulled her chair closer. Their elbows bumped as she drew nearer. She patted the top of his head and huffed. “Out with it, you are leaving in me in suspense.” Her tone then evened out into a welcoming whisper, “Tell me what is on your mind.”
The rabbit would always be here to lend an ear to her friend. Laurel offering her snacks were not necessary, but they did sweeten the deal.
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Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:41 pm
Laurel's head shrunk into his shoulders a little as LuLu moved to sit next to him. However, the reassuring tone and the head pats helped soften his nerves. She sounded genuinely interested and not at all uncomfortable, but it was still hard for him to know where to start. While starting from the beginning seemed like the most logical idea, he knew it would be a long, story. He didn't want to keep her here all day. He fiddled with his fingers.
"My aunt and uncle died last week." He said, sinking further toward the table. "It was really sudden. A drunk driver struck them head on, flipped them over and sent them flying. I was babysitting their daughter that night and the police showed up and just-"
His face contorted and strained and the hand propping his head up balled into a fist. He clenched it there a moment, bit his lip, and released it.
"The funeral was Sunday, but even before then, I didn't know how to feel." He admitted, shaking his head. "Like, I feel bad. I hate seeing the rest of my family so destroyed over it, but I haven't been able to cry about it myself. Not even if I try really, really, really hard to. It's making me feel like such a freak, you know? What kind of monster goes through a catastrophic loss and doesn't cry about it?"
He placed both of his arms on the table and lowered his head.
"And I'm scared about how my family will react if I try to talk about it." He added, glancing to the side. "I'm sure my dad would be horrified. I'm petrified that he'll tell me that I'm a terrible person. I don't even want to imagine that happening. My heart would probably stop if it did."
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Posted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 4:41 pm
LuLu visibly flinched as her friend began to speak again. The entry point he had chosen for his story instantly set the tone for their conversation. It felt like she had been plunged into cold water and it numbed her to her core. But, she also knew Laurel must be feeling even worse.
She saw how the boy seemed to be crawling in his own skin like he did not know what to do with himself. He looked so lost. The rabbit pulled him in. Offered her shoulder for him to lay his head on. Then, after a thoughtful moment, she began. “Sometimes there are so many feelings, they get backed up.” She tried to articulate while gesturing with her hands. “They all want to come out at once but there is not enough room. So then, nothing comes. Just emptiness.”
LuLu squeezed him reassuringly. “If they were still here, what would you say to them? Your aunt and uncle.”
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Posted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 5:29 pm
Though LuLu had been the one to pull him close and offer her shoulder to lean on, Laurel couldn't help but feel as though he would be taking something he didn't deserve. His body stiffened, his hands moving to cover his face as he was moved, and tried to make sense of what she was saying. Backed up emotions with no room to fit lead to... Emptiness? His brows furrowed. He wasn't sure he felt empty, he was too full of fear right now to be empty, but maybe he wasn't understanding what she meant? Emptiness, emptiness, emptiness.
Try as he might to reason it out, all he could end up feeling was dizzy. If LuLu weren't holding him like this right now, he'd probably be on the floor in a breathless heap. He didn't want to imagine the embarrassment he'd feel if that had happened.
The question LuLu posed caught him off guard at first, which gave his heart just enough time to catch up with his brain. Both were going a mile a minute, but vastly out of sync. What would he say to them if they were still here? His face softened as he considered it and he, finally, let his body relax again.
"I... Guess I'd ask them why they never tried to spend more time with me." He replied, after a minute or two of careful thought. "Or came around to visit in general. They really only came by if they needed my dad to watch my cousin. I don't even remember having any deep or meaningful conversations with either of them. It was always really quick greetings and catch-ups with them, like they were too busy for anything else."
He paused to rub his eye, then continued.
"But they still gave me birthday gifts and holiday gifts and, you know, existed as part of my family. I'm never going to get to know them now that they're gone. Shouldn't I be absolutely miserable?"
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Posted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 6:23 pm
LuLu’s brows also knitted together as she watched the frei expectantly. A look of clarity she had been hopeful for never crossed his tense features. If anything, Laurel looked more on the verge of a panic attack.
The rabbit did not leave his side though. She remained a solid support for him, unwavering. LuLu let the boy speak and listened quietly. Once he started describing his relationship with his aunt and uncle, her friend relaxed for the first time since she had arrived at the cafe.
LuLu realized that she had misinterpreted the situation. It was not that Laurel was overwhelmed with grief and could not properly express it. Instead, he truly did not feel heartbreak over their deaths. It was no wonder though. She comment softly, “They sound like strangers.” Though it was a tragedy, could he really be blamed if he did not feel sorrow for them?
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Posted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 6:51 pm
"They sound like strangers." Those words, though soft, collided with Laurel like a sack of bricks. His natural reaction was to vehemently agree. Yes, she'd hit it right on the nose! They had been like strangers to him. Strangers in his own family. Strangers he'd shared the same space with once or twice a year or for five minutes to say hello and goodbye. He wanted to let out a shout of relief that she understood and, maybe, just maybe let himself breathe-
-But he held his breath. He couldn't let go. They may have been like strangers to him, but they weren't strangers at all. They were his family. Family he wasn't mourning. Family he wasn't missing. Something was very, very wrong with him. Instead of feeling miserable like the rest of his family, he was here, in a cafe, seeking validation when he should be feeling guilt. He was a monster.
How could LuLu even stand to be near him right now?
"Uh-Um..." He stuttered, leaning up and glancing about. There had to be a menu or something here, right? Anything to distract himself. His ears pinned against his head. "I... I'm sorry, Lu. I forgot, did you want to order anything? I feel like I've taken up so much time here talking."
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