Welcome to Gaia! ::

As of this month, all my savings from my last job are gone. I haven't been able to sell hardly anything on Etsy, and I can't afford anything for Christmas for anybody. I'm turning to Poshmark in the morning and hoping something sells, and oh yeah no food money this month at all. If not for that disastrous wedding, I wouldn't be in half the state I am in now. Or if my ex room mate had paid me the 900$ owed months ago.

I've applied left and right, but only two callbacks in three or four months. I'm waiting on word from one potential job but, if I don't hear back soon I'm in big trouble. I'll be live auctioning my cosplays at a con this weekend, and no I can't miss it because everything else this month has gone wrong.

A now ex best friend ignored me completely at her wedding then dumped me. My aunt who gave me the dress for the wedding is...She maybe has two days left before she passes away from cancer.

My car still isn't fixed, and winter is coming so this could end horribly. No callbacks from anyone, a potential client dropped me for a cheaper version, and now it looks like I might have some kind of severe health issue too (again). I don't have the money to go and get a scan of my face, to see if this mass on my nose tip that keeps getting bigger is a tumor. Trump won the election, my family is freaking out (parents), nothing I do is right, and I can't afford food.

Did I mention I get favorites on my work but no buyers? Did I mention I cracked last week admitted I'm starving on a forum, and the only reason I'll have anything to eat this month is due to the kindness of people. Nothing is going right, everything is going wrong, and nothing is working! I can't even get my pictures up on pixabay, and I can't sleep either. And my birth control implant is defective, without it working I have gone for six months with almost constant heavy bleeding. I got one week without that bleeding, last week, that's it for six months. My body is so mineral deprived I look dead.


I need something good this month or I am going to lose it, I'm literally running on caffeine right now. So this convention is it, because without it I'm not sure what I'll do. At least it gives me a chance to sell my costumes off and get some money, even if I don't want to..But I have to. crying

Nothing is going right for me, and it makes me depressed. Then I go back into the self loathing cycle, that I just got out of. My two old I-pods have been missing for months, and I can't even get commission work. I have one possible client right now, but until they get money together to pay for it I'm out of luck.
I feel like an utter hopeless failure right now, and it's killing me.

Why is everything falling apart? And why is it happening to me?
crying crying scream

Thank you, the worst part is to start to turn it around (or at least what I can control) I just need money. And people like my work, they just won't buy it..Probably because it isn't Christmas themed.

I can't get hired because my work is too good, of all things.

And everything else is out of my control, I just want to cry right now..
The horrible wedding and my aunt dying, I can't do anything about it. All I can do is try to change what i can, but it still hurts and sucks!