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 Posted: Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:27 am
 ❛I left the library. Crossing the street, I was hit head-on by a brutal loneliness. I felt dark and hollow.
Abandoned, unnoticed, forgotten, I stood on the sidewalk, a nothing, a gatherer of dust. People hurried past me. and everyone who walked by was happier than I.
I felt the old envy. I would have given anything to be one of them.❜
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I'm feeling upset. || I'm speaking to no one. || I'm wearing something warm || I have 400EC|| I have feelings for no one.
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The days have gone by quietly, far too peaceful, to be honest. How many months has it been since the volcano has struck Ethe? The ashes were unbearable then, and he had gotten violently sick soon after his return. Perhaps he should have listened to his maid during that short period of time, but at that point, there was a member of the household missing. A particular person that seems to have tamed the rather.. prideful young master.
How long has he been gone? How long has it been since he last woke up peacefully? Half a year? Has it really been six months since then? Hadn't he said it would be a short leave? Did something happen? Is he caught? His grip around his wine glass tightened, and as if detecting the slight changes in his mood, his raven perched upon his shoulder and nudged its beak against his cold cheeks, snapping him out of his own delusional mind. He knew it was impossible that Sage was executed, but there was a lingering thought in his mind that would subside. The thought of his bloodied body, the thought of him chained up in a cell. No. No, he shook his head, shaking his mind free of such thoughts. "Impossible.. It's impossible.." he chanted with a voice barely above a whisper.
The maids on the other hand seems to be relieved at first when the barbarian left the household, believing they were free from the wrath of a perverted demon. Freed knew their thoughts, but he chose to ignore them. But as days passed, the rumors and gossips between maids start to spread, and slowly, it came to his attention regarding what was said. He ignored them, too. He would come back. Soon. Perhaps later in the day? He didn't.
Days passed, and soon turned to weeks. Weeks into months. Each day, Freed sat by his bedroom window, sometimes gazing out through the window in the living area, awaiting Sage's return like a stubborn housewife. He felt it was pathetic, how reliant he was, and how much fondness has come to be towards the barbarian that was anything but lovable. Each night, he was met with disappointment, washed over by a sense of grief and hopelessness he can't seem to get rid of. Day by day, his food intake decreased, and eventually, he stopped eating altogether. Has the time come that he has to go? Has he finished the promise he made with his father? Is he really nothing more.. than just something he felt was obliged to take care of? He bit down against his bottom lip and he'd wince at the slight pain it brought when he drew blood.
"I think it's best if that barbarian doesn't return. He threatens to rape us everyday!" a younger female spoke, and Freed's body shook, though he remained motionless while he sat upon the chair. His grip tightened around the wine glass he held, refraining himself from doing something he might regret. She was right, he thought. It would be better if he had never came around to begin with. He would have been better off if he would disappear without a trace after a while. "Isn't it? It gets so annoying! I'd rather lick the floor than serve him!" Freed flinched once more. Who are they to speak such words in his manor?
"Do you think the young master is.. gay?" she asked. "Maybe the both of them had.. done things already-" the other suggested, and they'd giggle.
"Young master is pure and innocent! He's kind. That man doesn't deserve to stand beside someone of such high status!" she protested, unaware that the young master she so casually spoke of was seated not too far from where they were. With the room nearly empty, the echo would resonate within the household, amplifying it loudly enough for him to hear. Is that what Sage had to listen to every single day? Is that way he left? Because Freed turned a blind eye despite knowing such words were going around? His hands trembled, and the raven quickly flew off, knowing they have crossed the line.
"Isn't it? He's absolutely disgusting!" and that was the last straw to tip the already agitated young man off the edge. He stood up, knocking the chair down in the process of throwing the wine glass against the wall, shattering just behind where they stood. "SILENCE!" with a booming voice, he exclaimed furiously, and the maids quiet down in an instant. The rest continued with their work, while the other two, or the few that were gossiping stood around. "What right do you have to say that when you would spread your legs for anyone just for money--! Do you think I didn't know?! Do I not pay you enough?!" and she dared call him disgusting? Badmouthing someone who isn't even here to defend himself? "You-.. I would have thrown you out if it weren't for the consideration of your family-!" it wasn't everyday Freed yells at someone. If anything, he had never lashed out at any household staff, however, this time, they've spoken something they should not, brought up a person that should be long forgotten.
"And you." the young man turned to face the second maid that spoke ill of Sage. The both of them were hired six months ago when two of his maids have decided to retire and care for their family back home. He sent them a good amount of money, and with a heavy heart, he sent them off. They were his family, people who took care of him since he was only a child. Perhaps, the newly hired maids mistook him for someone kind, someone easily taken advantage of. "You have until night fall to retrieve the items you've stolen from me. If I find any of my heirlooms missing, I will have you sold to the slave ring." he stated calmly, though in his darkened eyes, it was easy to tell he had been terribly angered. Stricken with fear, the young women trembled and begged for forgiveness. The rest would quickly scatter off, leaving only the two that were either grabbing him by his wrists or holding onto his leg. All of a sudden,
Freed shoved them away, backing towards a corner with absolute disgust upon his features. "You imbeciles-! How dare you touch me?!" he exclaimed. "Get out--!!" he yelled, knocking over the expensive vases he once purchased. They could very much call him out for domestic abuse, but Freed knew he'd get by with just some gold in hand. He had nothing to fear, and it seems, the maids were quite aware, too.
But perhaps, they, too, knew he was too softhearted to do so. "Y--You're a murderer--!" one of them cried out, while the other could only whimper in the mess he's made. His breath hitched, and a painful throb struck him within his chest, as if she had spoken something that had struck a chord. A murderer? Was he? Is he really? "I-.. I--" his hips soon collided against a wooden table, and his footsteps would finally come to a stop. The butler, of course, remained motionless upon the stairway. That old man was very much used to Lionel's spoiled behaviour once, but with Freed lashing out against another person, even the calmest person would be quite surprised. "Leonard." Freed called, to which he answered with a soft 'Young master?'.
"Sell her off to the slave ring. Leave the other." and with such words alone, the young woman grew hysterical. The butler was surprised, but he knew better than to voice out his opinion. The manor was a mess, with screams and whimpers bouncing off the walls of the household. The tension was apparent, and the atmosphere was dark. Heavy. The butler fell silent, and Freed would only glance at him with eyes that pressured him into agreeing. His crimson orbs were almost a shade of raven, and his hands trembled with anger. Blood trickled down his hand, dripping upon the cold tiled floor. "I sa--"
"Freed!" a voice interrupted him, and he'd turn his head, only to see a familiar elderly woman standing by the stairs. As for the two, the rest of the maids were ordered to take them back to their chambers, where they would calm their panicked hearts. "Layl--"
'Slap!'
"..." he fell silent, without a single word uttered. She had red, swollen eyes, filled with unshed tears. "What do you think you're doing! What has gotten into you?!" she exclaimed, holding him by his arms while she searched for his downcast gaze. "Do you know what would have happened if you sold her off!"
"She deserv--" and before he could finish, another hand struck his face, to which he soon refused to speak at all. What has he done? Why was he wrong? He wasn't the one who spoke ill of others, so why was he getting slapped across the face?
"Are you going to sell me off to the slave ring, too, if I were to say the same thing?!" would he? He probably wouldn't. No. It was unimaginable, that Layla would speak off such things. She wasn't that kind of person. "Stop being such a child-! You're not the center of this universe-!! Do not speak with such arrogan--"
"BUT MY WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM--!" countered the young man with bloodshot eyes that glistened with tears. His hair was disheveled, loose locks falling messily in front of his face, enough to cover his reddened cheeks.
"But one by one they disappeared--!! How do you think it feels-?! I was left with what's left of my family-! Mother never loved me. Father left-- so has the rest.. Meanwhile I am cooped up here with a sickly body-- but I was happy for a short while-- there was a person who came by upon father's words-- who took care of me-- But look where he is now--!!"
His body slid down the wall, and he'd end up sitting on the floor as he clutched his head. Freed screamed, let out a cry filled with emotions and pain he had long bottled up from the world, from himself. "Am I so easy to abandon?! Am I not worth a single thing-?!"
"F-Freed-.. I would nev--"
'You tried to leave me once, Layla-! You tried to leave when I was laying on the bed with my body covered in bruises-! You tried to leave because you can't stand the sight of me-!! YOU COULDN'T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME-" and soon, the household fell silent, and only the sounds of his whimpers and sobbing could be heard. Where has he gone? Is he really worth nothing at all? That none would be willing to stay? Layla stayed for her guilty conscience, that she had once tried to abandon the young boy that was abused on the daily basis.
"I'll be back before you wake." his words echoed in Freed's mind to which he soon started to laugh. "You'll.. be back..?" he murmured. Once, twice, he kept the promise. He did come back, but soon, eventually, up until today, he didn't return at all. Not once. "You liar.."
"You liar--!" and without any strength left in him, his body collapsed against the wall, holding his head as he shielded his tear stained face out of sight. He might have seemed fine on the daily basis, yes, but he was human. He had emotions. With one after another, casting him aside with such ease, it had finally taken its toll upon the young man's mind.
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Out.Of.Crocodiles: IMSORRY IT'S SO LENGTHY
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Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 11:51 pm
The ones who are hardest to love Often need it the most
The ones who are hardest to love Often need it the most
The ones who are hardest to love Often need it the most ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Do you trust me? "Sage..."
A young male with long raven locks that framed his pale features called out to him from a far away place. Those crimson eyes of his were alight with anger, yet his cheeks were burning with colour. He was flustered. Sage outstretched a hand to gently caress one of those pink cheeks.
"I'll be home soon. Wait for me."
Freed turned his face away from the offered hand and hid his face behind a curtain of hair. What was wrong? Sage reached out again and this time, lifted the male's chin so they were eye to eye. Crimson met storm. And in that moment the whole world seemed to melt away. Time stopped and all he could see were those bright crimson orbs that had seen to much. Those twin pools of rose burned themselves into his memory and Sage found himself yearning to be reflected in those eyes once more."Freed-.."The painful sound of metal scraping against rock woke the proud warrior from his delusion. Stormy eyes that were clouded with defeat lifted to meet eyes that were of a sickening burgundy colour. A cruel mockery of the crimson orbs he cherished. Limp brown locks that were weighed down by dried blood and mud clung to the sides of his face. He felt dirty. He was unworthy of returning to the manor that had once accepted him. "I see you're awake now. Good."At the thought of not being able to see Freed again, Sage violently flung himself forward, forgetting about the restraints that trapped him. The force of his movement had him pulling taut the chains that then pulled him back against the wall. The impact of his back slamming against the merciless bricks winded him. His body made a sickening noise and he grunted with pain. He had repeated the same action over and over during his time in this cell, yet he never learned. His body hummed with anger and even if it hurt him, he would continue fighting against anything and anyone that tied him to this place. "Relax, Sage. I haven't come here to hurt you... Yet. I'm just here to give you a little pick-me-up."That condescending voice grated against his ears and he growled dangerously when the man with the red eyes stepped towards him. The barbarian relaxed his body and acted compliant, waiting until his captor came close enough to attack. As a needle was being pressed into his skin, Sage kicked out with his legs and pushed the other man back. Before either of them had time to recover, a group of men that were armed like guards entered the room and incapacitated Sage. But he was numb to the blows they dealt him. He felt nothing. And as he slipped further into unconsciousness, he smiled. Now he could see Freed again. This time however, memories or dreams of Freed did not surface. Instead, he was dealt with memories that were bitter and better left forgotten. Sage stared up at the night sky above, his drugged mine seeing past the stars and to the two people he had loved most. Sarah and Monique. His wife and child. The only two people in this universe capable of taming him. A noise nearby pulled the addict from his thoughts and he rolled to his feet, still a natural born warrior even in this pitiful straight. Searching for the source f the disturbance, he found a small girl who was clinging on to her toy dragon for dear life. She was frightened of him and her tiny body shook violently. His vision blurred and he staggered towards her, determined to protect her from the twisted attackers his mind had concocted. He may have been high and unable to think clearly, but he remembered every detail perfectly. Did he mistake her for an enemy and kill her? No. It was her parents he killed. He had orphaned her and her brother. He'd killed their parents right in front of them and ran away. He was despicable.Sage's body tensed and his limp hands curled into tight fists that refused to relax even when someone was forcibly trying to straighten them. When that person finally gave up and waved smelling salts under his nose in an effort to wake him, Sage screamed. It was a sound unlike any other. More animal than human. Devoid of any words, and filled with pain and sorrow. The person ran from the cell but that scream continued to haunt her for days after. "Don't be scared. I won't hurt you. Freed?"The tortured male's body shuddered and his breathing became ragged and uneven. Before him, a version of Freed that existed in his his mind only, beckoned for him. That Freed smiled and let Sage touch him freely. That Freed teased him and comforted him. Yet Sage still craved the real thing. He desired the Freed that would push him away and curse him. He wanted the strong noble whose heart belonged to his family. He wished for the male that refused him no matter how persistent he was. He needed the version of Freed that relied on him begrudgingly. He longed to find the Freed that both threatened him and accepted him. This fake Freed of his was nice, but the real thing was so much better. And it was with thoughts of Freed in mind that Sage awoke to next. He had slipped in and out of consciousness for hours, but now he was strong enough to remain awake. Those daydreams had reminded him of the promise he had made. He had to return to the stubborn fool who was waiting for him. Even if he didn't deserve to be with someone as pure and kind as Freed, he had to keep his promise at least. And he had already put it off for too long. Just thinking of how he would be scolded upon his return brought a smile to his scabbed lips. Freed was no doubt holding up his end of the bargain by waiting, so Sage needed to return the favour by escaping. Those stormy grey eyes opened once more, and instead of reflecting the dim acceptance of defeat as they once had, they now burned with determination. With a cold fury that promised death to the people who had kept him from his charge. The warrior's body was still broken, but it would heal in no time at all. And he was still strong enough to fight while it healed. He had to be. When that deafening scrape of steel on stone returned to signal the arrival of another in his cell, Sage gazed up and them and grinned. It was the man from before. And now that his mind was clear, he recognised the man as one of the children he had orphaned years ago. Once he might have allowed himself to remain at the child's mercy, believing that he deserved whatever torture they thrust upon him. And although he still believed that he deserved this punishment, he wasn't going to allow them to keep him away from Freed any longer. The man started speaking, but Sage wasn't listening. All he could hear was a tiny voice within him, instructing him on his next move. "NOW!"Sage roared, throwing his body forward and continuing to do so even after his body repetitively broke against the brick wall behind him. His roar was worse than his scream. It echoed throughout the many hallways beyond his cell door, and chilled the blood of those who heard it. It silenced the male, who was eyeing him with the same pity one would reserve for a savage lunatic. Sage used that to his advantage. He continued throwing his weight forward until finally... His restraints broke. The savage barbarian left his prison minutes later with blood staining every exposed inch of his skin. A hunter's smile curved his lips as the injuries to his body healed. He looked like a demon straight out of a nightmare. Luckily, nobody was around to see him like that. Sage used his ability to speed up his travel time and had enough sense to wash his body in a river before entering the city of Lionis once more. He had escaped and he was coming for Freed. "Should I get him a present?"Sage had been away for months, and felt as if just an apology wasn't good enough. He gazed into a shop window at an aged book, and eyed it contemplatively. Now he knew better than to leave Freed alone again. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. The brunette entered the store with no money, and when he left, he had the book and a small statue of a white dragon in his possession. This time, he hadn't hurt anyone. He'd just scared them a little. Pleased with himself, Sage took back alleys and side streets in an effort to shield himself from the guards while he made his way to the manor. He expected that Freed would be the only one who would welcome his return, but he didn't care. Freed was all that mattered. He'd come to realise that during his time away. To his surprise, Sage was practically dragged inside the house upon his arrival by a maid wearing a terrified expression. What had happened while he was gone? The only difference he had noted, was the new scars that littered his body. But he was fast coming up with an excuse for those just in case he was asked about them. No matter what, Freed could never know the truth. Sage had been drugged by the prostitute he had used the last night he had seen the duke, and when he had come to, he was already in captivity. The maid's expression alarmed him, though. An icy fear gripped him when he came to the realisation that Freed could have died while he was gone. Sage bolted in the direction the maid had mutely pointed him to, and he came at a stop before a door that was only partially open. A scream erupted from that room, and he found himself frozen in place, listening to Freed's cries. This was more painful than any torture he had endured throughout these passing months. The barbarian closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the wall, listening to the discussion held within the room beyond. What had he done? "I didn't lie. I came back, didn't I?"He whispered, frowning when he felt an unbearable ache start to form in his chest. It was similar to the feeling he'd had when his wife had died. A painful emptiness. Why was he feeling this now? Nobody had died. "You liar--!"The male's eyes shot open and he pushed open the door. His eyes instantly fell upon the young duke he had dreamed of. Freed... He looked worse than he ever had. What had happened? His hair wasn't as neatly styled as it usually was. Even his clothes were disheveled. But he couldn't look as bad as Sage, could he? Silently, he approached the raven and lifted him off the ground. "God I've missed you."His voice was rough with emotion, his eyes dark with concern. And for once, he had no witty comment to say. Now was not the time to mask the truth. He held onto the body that had eluded him for months now. He inhaled the scent he had craved for days on end. And he kissed those lips that only he could violate. He gazed into those crimson pools of light that had kept him sane during his time away. However the smell of blood mingling with Freed's scent gave him pause. He looked down to find blood on the floor, and he slowly lowered Freed to the ground. "You shouldn't get so worked up because of me. You should know by now that only your opinion matters to me."He'd heard enough of the conversation to guess what had happened. He'd also heard enough to know that if Layla slapped Freed like that ever again, he would personally rip her fingers off. Sage bowed his head and brought the duke's injured hand to his lips. He licked off the blood and flicked his gaze upwards to Freed's face. "I'm sorry for leaving for so long. It won't happen again. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me, babe."The older male was seriously expecting Freed to hit him or shout at him. In fact he was waiting for it. The gifts he had brought were on the floor near the door where he had dropped them. Maybe he should have started by giving them to Freed first? It was too late now.  Then take my hand▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬I've been fighting since I was a child I am not a survivor
I've been fighting since I was a child I am not a survivor
I've been fighting since I was a child I am not a survivor  I am a warrior❣ LOCATION → Lionis, Norcross Manor
❣ COMPANY → Freed Norcross
❣ DATING → Nobody
❣ OOC → Sorry if mind's a little crappy! sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:21 am
❛I left the library. Crossing the street, I was hit head-on by a brutal loneliness. I felt dark and hollow.
Abandoned, unnoticed, forgotten, I stood on the sidewalk, a nothing, a gatherer of dust. People hurried past me. and everyone who walked by was happier than I.
I felt the old envy. I would have given anything to be one of them.❜
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I'm feeling desperate. || I'm speaking to no one. || I'm wearing something warm || I have 400EC|| I have feelings for no one.
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He was used to being alone, used to the empty household that only him, and a couple of maids lived in. He was used to the daily lifestyle of waking up, and most likely staying indoors due to his sickly health, and managing the paperworks, and trading business his father had, though there are moments that required him to head out for a business meeting. Each day was the same, and he’d drink the medicine prepared by the maids every night, until someone in particular had showed up that one day he decides to take a trip to the city square, to tend to the restaurant he set up to serve the homeless people on the streets. That person was barbaric, rough and terribly unsophisticated. He was rude, and often times interrupted the young duke’s privacy, sometimes, even making sexual threats towards his household staff. To think his father once had a friend like him? But as days passed, there was a sense of loyalty and mutual respect established between the duo, and eventually, despite how foul mouthed the young man might be towards the older male, Freed still accepted him when none others would. He wasn’t terrifying. There were nights he awoken, where he would hear the slight mumble of the barbarian in his sleep, and he would pretend as if he hadn’t heard anything the next morning. He would see the pained expression on his face, the struggles of his battle against his inner demons. Did he believe.. he was a monster? And ever since that day, Freed had stopped calling him one. He had become more submissive towards his nonsensicle requests, more willing to listen despite knowing Sage had only spoke of such words in order to tick him off. But, even so, Freed found himself slowly getting fond of his man. The man his father had once decided to save, despite not obliged to do so. Maybe it was a fateful encounter between the two older men, or maybe, that situation happened, in order for it to lead to this day?
But Freed wished they had never met at all. He wished his father had turned a blind eye back then. Maybe he would have been better off.
His shoulders trembled and shook, and he could taste the blood upon the tip of his tongue, where his teeth has dug into his bottom lip to stifle the muffled cries. Layla didn’t speak much, neither did the butler, and reading the atmosphere, she would order everyone to leave the room, knowing the young man would much prefer to be alone, than to seek comfort within another. Layla didn’t speak much after his small outburst, because what he said entirely was true. She tried to leave, because she had been afraid of what was happening in the house. She was afraid of standing up for the children, knowing that the same abuse would befall her if she did, so she chose to run away from it all, leaving the child that would cry as he knocked upon the glass window begging for her not to leave. Her eyes stung with unshed tears as she headed for her chambers. She knew, it was her mistake. That she had no right to speak of such words.
The room was silent and cold, and he stayed curled up against the wall while he self-loathed. Maybe it would have been better if it all ended, if the nightmares stopped completely. If he had..
”..die..?” he softly murmured, and his gaze wandered towards the family heirloom, where an iron sword was framed up upon the stair way.
”W--Wait-- Young master is--..” a maid cried out, and Freed would lift his head weakly to see who had burst through the front door. There was the familiar light coloured locks that were braided, a large build with scars that littered his body. The smell of blood was apparent, and he wasn’t sure if it was his, or to the man. The storm grey eyes met his, and Freed froze. His heart came to a stop completely, and he fell into a grey area, where no emotions were felt, or perhaps.. he was too confused. ”S--Sage--” the scent.. there was no doubt-- It had been the scent that calmed him every night he had been plagued by nightmares.
A pair of large arms lifted him, and he felt his feet leave the ground. ”God I’ve missed you.” he murmured. Missed him? Had he? What right did he have to say that when he had left without a single word, without a single trace?
”How dare you--! You-- You imbecile-!!” he yelled, desperately struggling to break free from his grasp. ”How dare you say you missed me when you’ve left without a single word--!! Every single night I’ve spent waiting for you to return-- but each and every single time I was only met with disappointment-- and fear that you might have died out there-!! So how dare you speak so casually that you’ve missed me when I’ve lived so miserably in my manor that reminded me of you everywhere I go-!! T-To the point I’ve considered death--!! It hurts-! It hurts to be abandoned--! It hurts even more to be abandoned by someone you thought would never leave-!! If you have decided to leave, then don’t come back! Don’t come back to mock me-!! Is it funny?! Screw you, Sage-!! I’m not your sex toy-!!” and when he realized he couldn’t break free, he would throw his fists against the barbarian, lashing out at the source of his misery, at the man that seems to hurt him more than anyone in this world ever would. He lifted his hand, attempting to give him a hard slap across the face, only to come to an abrupt stop just before it reached hos cheeks. His hand gentle caressed Sage’s cheek, before they fell and gripped tightly against the fabric of the barbarian’s shirt. His tears were running like a loose faucet, dripping against the barbarian’s skin as his head finally came to a rest against the older male’s shoulder. ”Am I not worth anything at all?! Am I that easy to cast aside like some unwanted rag doll-? Is it because of the things they said--? H--Have you grown tired because of my sickly body-- Are-- Are you tired of me already--?” the duke spoke in between sobs, casting whatever pride he had within him aside. His tears didn’t stop, not until he felt a familiar warmth pressed against his lips. Freed would have pushed him away for doing so, hit him, or even yell, but he didn’t. He allowed the barbarian full access to his lips, even going as far as to return the kiss eagerly, missing the warmth he felt, missing the sweet scent upon his lips. It was salty and it had the faint taste of iron, due to the mixture of his own tears, and blood, but the young duke didn’t care. Instead, he indulged himself in the temporary warmth he was allowed.
Why had he returned the kiss? He had no answer. Was it out of romantic feelings? He didn’t know either. Perhaps he just missed the feeling he had always been showered with, the warmth, the sense of security despite the sexual advances and threats he received. ”I don’t like it-- I don’t want to hear it-- I don’t want to hear anyone in this household bad mouth you-- What right do they have?! They-- They--..!!” he paused, and eventually fell silent once more. Why had he been so angry? Freed never liked hearing people badmouthing his family, nor those he held dear to him. Is Sage dear to Freed? He didn’t know, but perhaps, the young duke has developed a sense of attachment towards this barbarian. His barbarian, it seems. With how Sage is appointed to care for the young duke, Freed at least had the right to call him his, no? There was a painful throb in his hand that the duke failed to notice until Sage has licked his wound, where a glass shard had cut straight across his palm. It stung, and his tears ran, not from the pain, but from the words he spoke. He was angry, furious, even, and the anger he felt had been apparent upon his features, but upon noticing the expression Sage wore, the young duke faltered. He had always faltered beneath his gaze.
”I don’t know.. I don’t want to know. I don’t-.. I--.. I don’t want to face the days ahead where you would disappear again one day-- I don’t want to be abandoned-- I don’t want to be left alone-- This house is cold, it’s dark-- it haunts me and honestly-.. I’m terrified-- I’m terrified of believing in your words--” he was terrified of believing in anyone else. His siblings, his maids, the words his father once told him, they all seemed so unbelievable at the moment, and the places they took in this heart has begun to waver. Is there anything he could trust in this day? Is there anyone he could rely on other than himself? ”You can’t leave-- You can’t-- Sage, you can’t leave me alone in here.. I don’t want to be alone anymore-- I don’t want to be forgotten-- not by you-- I’ll stay out of your way- I’ll give you all the money you want-- Anything yoy want-- I’ll do anything you tell me to-- s-so.. Please don’t leave me- Don’t cast me aside-” and eventually, his sobs returned, where he’d plead weakly for him to stay, for him not to abandon the young duke. He had been strong for so long, that he hadn’t realized he had been reliant on the barbarian. Not until that one day he disappeared, where the duke would be reduced to nothing at all. It terrified him greatly, how this barbarian had such an effect on him when others did not, but Freed would not further question what he felt, at least not in this moment.
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Out.Of.Crocodiles: NO WAY. I LOVED YOUR POST HBGNGNFNFNG
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Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 4:26 am
The ones who are hardest to love Often need it the most
The ones who are hardest to love Often need it the most
The ones who are hardest to love Often need it the most ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Do you trust me? The warrior's body ached, weariness from the long journey home evident in every fibre of his being. His arms were sore from the effort required to break the chains that restrained him. His skin was coloured with bruises that had yet to fade. His fingernails were torn and bloody, his knuckles faring no better. He still bled from the shallow cut on his temple, and his lips were covered in scabs. It seemed that in his haste to return to Freed's side, he had forgotten to heal some of his injuries. Although he had been sure to heal the ones that could have hindered his journey. Despite his impromptu bath in a river and the new clothes he was wearing, he looked like hell. His appearance was appalling and it was obvious that he had fought with someone. Hopefully Freed hadn't noticed. Otherwise there would be more questions to which he would have to fabricate answers. He didn't like lying to the younger male, but it was in his best interest to do so. The truth was harsh and would only distress his charge, possibly leading to a health failure of some kind. He would not allow that to happen. But since when had he cared about another to the extent that he forgot about his own health and wellbeing? Never before had someone been able to affect him like this. Never before had he been so desperate to return to another's side. Never before had someone had the ability to so heavily influence his decisions without so much as a word. Never before had someone been able to tie him down, keep him in the one place. Never before had he cared about someone that, without realising, he was at their beck and call. Never before had he been at another's mercy. Never before... -Never after his wife died. Never after his daughter was taken from him... Not until Freed. What was it that kept him tied to this place -to Freed? Surely not the promise he had once made to Lionel. That could be broken with ease at any time. All he had to do was convince himself that Freed was healthy, and he could leave with a clear conscience despite any evidence to the contrary. But Sage found that he didn't want to leave. It definitely wasn't the house that kept him here. It had too many memories. Some painful. Some pleasant. And in any case, he preferred being out of doors. It couldn't be the company within the house. He was well aware of what the household staff thought of him and his kind. They would discuss him in scandalous whispers with hushed voices, never to be overheard. Except they never realised that he was often in the same room, hidden in the shadows. He wasn't a warrior for nothing. They gossiped behind closed doors without noticing the form that hovered in the doorway. They spoke such vile things about him, and that alone would never allow him to be one hundred percent relaxed in this home. A part of him was always alert, always expecting an attack at any moment. But he could understand their fear, could justify their words. He wasn't from their world. He wasn't like them. He was different, and that alone was reason enough to ostracize him. If what kept him here wasn't any of these things, then what was it? The brunette's gaze fell upon the raven haired duke, and suddenly he knew his answer. Freed. The man who hid his pain from everyone. Even himself. Freed. The boy that had stepped into the role of protector to his siblings years before he was ready. Freed. The ravenette whose eyes were often clouded with tears upon waking. Freed. The one person who is capable of taming the barbarian. Thinking back to the cause of Freed's nightmares, Sage felt angry with himself. Had he known what that woman was up to, he'd have protected the kids. Protected Freed. If he had done that, then maybe Freed wouldn't have ended up feeling so alone, so abandoned. His hands curled into fists. Years ago he would have been able to manipulate time with ease, allowing him to fulfil his wish of protecting the boy who had come to find a place in the barbarian's heart. But the night his wife had died, had been the night he had no longer been able to change the past or manipulate the future. The deaths of his wife and daughter had taken their toll on him, and if his body would allow it, he would have died years ago. Without them he'd had no reason to exist. To survive. But now... Perhaps now he had a reason to live? Freed started yelling, calling him an imbecile and accusing him of many things. But honestly, Sage didn't care. He was just so damn glad to finally see the face he had dreamed of for months, that the words just rolled off his shoulders. However when there was mention of death and abandonment, he felt it imperative to speak up and clear the misunderstanding. Even if it may be too late to do so. Those grey eyes that now seemed laced with blue, narrowed as he tried his best to find the right words to properly convey his feelings to the angered duke. "Abandoned you? How-... You used to give me the benefit of the doubt when I gave you no reason to. You used to be able to tell when I was lying and when I wasn't. You, who believed in me when nobody else did... How could you think I would abandon you? How could you believe the worst of me when I've done nothing but care for you? Others may have abandoned you in the past, but surely you don't believe me capable of doing that?"Despite his angered expression and the sharp tone of voice he used when speaking, Sage was obviously hurt by Freed's assumptions. However, his personality refused to leave the truth as it was. He couldn't be so honest with someone without also making crude comments that would offend them. "Besides... How do you think I could have just thrown you aside and treated you as some toy to satiate my desires? How could I do that when we haven't even had sex yet? Though that's not due to any lack of trying on my part."He grinned, then. But it was a tight smile that lacked its usual good-natured humour. The blows dealt to his body by the one person he was weak against, succeeded in wiping the pained smile from his features. Apart from that, he was otherwise unaffected by the hits. Freed had gotten weaker while he was away. That much, he noticed. Sage didn't even so much as flinch when a hand was raised with the intent to slap him. He would endure it, as he knew he deserved it. It had been foolish of him to let his guard down and get captured. This was his punishment. However when that hand slowed to caress the side of his face, surprise widened his eyes. Rendered mute by Freed's idiosyncratic display, Sage watched as the duke gripped his (stolen) shirt tightly and buried his face into his shoulder. He could feel the salty tears streaming from those beautiful crimson pools. His shirt was damp with tears and he was still unable to find the right words to neutralize this situation. "Freed... I could never tire of you. Believe me, I would never leave you willingly. Never."Sage was finally able to stop those tears by kissing his lips. He hadn't been expecting any response, but to his surprise, Freed kissed him back. Softly, almost tentatively, the other male had opened himself up to him and that in itself was enough to eradicate any anger he had left over. When the kiss was broken, Freed started defending himself, talking about how the servants shouldn't badmouth him like they were. He shook his head, a little touched at how much this male cared about him. Although he suspected Freed had yet to realise why. He, himself, was clueless. What was so special about a barbarian? "-They.. Have not lived my life. They do not know why I act the way I do. They know nothing about me. And I wouldn't want them to. But without knowing, how can we expect them to understand? They are like frightened children, and I am their nightmare. They speak ill things of what scares them in an effort to understand it. To not be afraid. You need to show them that you will protect them. That there is nothing to be afraid of... You need to show them the kindness your father showed me, and then they will slowly start to accept my presence. You can't force them into believing what you do. You can't make them know what you know... Besides, as long as you are beside me, I don't care what anyone thinks."He finished gently, his calloused fingertips grazing against Freed's skin as he pushed some loose strands of hair away from his face. How he had missed this sight. Those eyes. Those lips. This silky hair... He had missed it all. Sage sensed that his companion was becoming increasingly distressed, so he hummed soothingly and continued holding on to Freed like the younger male was the only person on earth. Since he believed he had caused the duke enough pain, Sage licked the open wound he had discovered and as his tongue grazed against the skin and absorbed some of the blood, the wound slowly started to heal. When he was done, there was naught but a thin red line where the cut had been, and that too, would heal with time. Sage didn't heal others. He never felt the urge to, and as far as he was concerned, he couldn't. It exhausted too much of his energy. Although he had discovered that healing the odd scrape here or there didn't bother him too much. With Freed, he was willing to make an exception to his rule. He didn't heal others... Except Freed. "I am never going to abandon you. I'm not going to leave you again. Not even to find a prostitute. Promise. I don't want your money. I'm staying for you, okay? Not your money.... Although I must admit that I do want your body. But.. That can wait until I win your heart~"The warrior smiled, his clouded eyes bright with anticipation. He would win this duke's heart no matter how long it took. Of that, he was sure. Then take my hand▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ I've been fighting since I was a child I am not a survivor
I've been fighting since I was a child I am not a survivor
I've been fighting since I was a child I am not a survivor I am a warrior ❣ LOCATION → Lionis, Norcross Manor
❣ COMPANY → Freed Norcross
❣ DATING → Nobody
❣ OOC →
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Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 5:02 am
❛I left the library. Crossing the street, I was hit head-on by a brutal loneliness. I felt dark and hollow.
Abandoned, unnoticed, forgotten, I stood on the sidewalk, a nothing, a gatherer of dust. People hurried past me. and everyone who walked by was happier than I.
I felt the old envy. I would have given anything to be one of them.❜
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I'm feeling desperate. || I'm speaking to Sage. || I'm wearing something warm || I have 400EC|| I have feelings for no one.
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It angered Freed even further when he hadn't uttered anything, let alone flinch at the hits he threw against him. But Freed knew his strength was no where close to 'painful' when he had all but a sickly body. His tears ran, and he wondered just how much tears he had bottled up within his system, just how much tears he was capable to producing. He had been in pain, so alone, trapped in his mind had that been feeding him nothing but depressing thoughts. Not once in his entire lifetime has he came across a person who stayed, who was willing to stay. Who would, to be honest, when they would be stuck taking care of a young duke who couldn't eat half of the time, a young man who'd fall ill just by being outdoors for a prolonged period of time. If he could choose, he wouldn't even dream of having a body so frail and fragile, as if it would shatter completely under one touch. "How would I have known! When you felt so distant-- when I could hardly reach you every time-.. every time I tried to--" his voice trembled, half with frustration, and another half filled with what seems to be anger. How could he be so sure that Sage wouldn't leave his side. How could be choose to believe someone would stay when he had been abandoned so many times by people he thought had come to care about his well-being. How could he expect such a thing, when his own mother never even loved him. Freed knew he had angered the barbarian, and he, himself would counter the look of anger with his own. What right did he have to spout such words. What right did he have to speak of such things when he had left without a single word. Was the duke someone he chose to return to when there was no longer any 'fun' outside? Was he a second choice? No. Was he even a choice at all? He gritted his teeth and let out an angry huff, but upon the sight of his storm grey eyes, the young duke noticed what seemed like hurt reflected back towards him. Hurt? Why would the barbarian ever be hurt.
"Besides... How do you think I could have just thrown you aside and treated you as some toy to satiate my desires? How could I do that when we haven't even had sex yet? Though that's not due to any lack of trying on my part." his body shook. He was right. He wasn't some toy. He wasn't even enough to be treated as some toy, and that felt like an insult pierced straight through his chest, like a spear impaling his fragile body. In that instant, his heart shattered, and he fell silent. His crimson orbs were hollow, void of any emotions but his tears ran, still. "That's right.. that's-.. right.." he chanted, and paused. A chuckle escaped his lips, and a chain of laughter followed soon after. Why had he thought of himself that way? How could he? No, he couldn't.. "How.. could I think so highly of myself..?" he uttered, allowing his hand to fall from the barbarian's face. His body fell limp, and he'd hide his disheveled appearance behind his tousled raven locks. For the first time in a long while, reality had hit him hard in the face, and he'd find himself cracked and tattered, struggling to piece every events that had happened up until now. How every one had tried to leave, how the words his mother once said to him would flood his mind. He would be reduced to nothing with her words alone, and his heart would clench painfully within the confinements of his chest. ”I’ve never asked for much-- All I’ve ever wanted was for someone to care enough-.. That’s all, really-- I don’t need someone to stick by me twenty four seven- I don’t need a baby sitter- I.. I just wanted someone to tell me I’ll be alright- that I didn’t have to worry so much--” his voice was weak, yet the dread had been apparent in his tone of voice. ”I’ve never asked much from mother either-- all I ever wanted was for her to love me- to tell me that she had loved me-- I worked hard-- as hard as I could- I was a good kid, and everyone would praise me-- I just wanted her to look at me with a tender gaze- pat me on the head and tell me I did great-- but all she did.. All I ever had--.. was a look of disgust-- am I.. Am I that hard to love..? Am I a horrible person..? Why doesn’t anyone stay..?”
”Mother said I was a nuisance- That I was better off selling my body- she said I looked pretty with lengthy hair, that I look like some girl- and that I would make lots of money on the streets-.. She tried, she really did-- Maybe-- maybe she was right- maybe.. I am a nuisance- Hey, Sage.. surely I’ve been nothing but a burden-? Surely.. you’ve been frustrated with me-? You spoke of sex all of the time- I’ve seen your gaze on me- with the hidden lust within the depts of your eyes- Didn’t you say it was frustrating here..?” and after what seemed like forever, Freed lifted his face. His tears had stopped, but despite his calm voice, his gaze was filled with dread, and it had been obvious that his thoughts had been clouded with panic, with images of his past, memories that haunted him since his childhood. With unsteady fingers, he’d loosen his tie, and unbutton the first few buttons of his shirt, revealing the prominent collar bone he usually kept hidden. His skin was pale, but the scars had dirtied the white canvas of his skin. ”You said you weren’t lacking in your part-- your sexual advances-.. It was always me, wasn’t it? I’ll give it to you- that’s what mother said I’d be good at-- a fragile body.. A feminine appearance.. Maybe she’s right- maybe she’s.. right.. Why don’t you put me down-- she said.. She said I was dirty-..” maybe he really would be better off a whore? Tears stung his eyes, yet they would not fall. He refused to shed them, and his body seemed to have been dried of liquid, dried of tears. What has he really done wrong in the past? Why had his mother loathed her children so? He realized he had the worst treatment among the trio. Perhaps.. It was because he had been the weakest? Was that it? Was that why? It wasn’t his fault, really. He’d want to be healthier if he could, he’d get rid of a sickly body if he could, but he couldn’t, so why was she putting the blame on him? She was different when his father returned home. She was kind and caring, much different from the tyrant she had always been. She would caress his cheek, yet purposely graze her finger over the light bruise that would sting with pain, but Freed chose to believe the facade, he pretended that she loved him, because that was something he’d never get from her. Love.
”Freed...” his baritone voice resonated within his ears. A voice like a sweet lullaby, and also a voice that would leave a sharp pain within his heart. He remained still, until the barbarian spoke somemore. ”I could never tire of you. Believe me, I would never leave you willingly. Never.” but how much of his words could the young duke believe? How could he risk believing him, when he knew full-well he might be let down once more in the future? But his stoic expression had soon shifted into a painful one, and hurt would flash across his dark and empty crimson orbs. He was angry, disappointed, but most of all, he felt fear, the kind of fear he hasn’t felt in a while. The way a sense of hopelessness would overwhelm his entire being, the way he would find his body trembling and his features flushed pale. ”How.. How do I trust-.. It’s painful- it’s painful when someone leaves- it’s even more painful when they’ve promised you that they wouldn’t. I want to trust you, Sage- I really want to- but.. I’m scared. I can’t do it-- I’m scared of being attached, scared of growing a sense of fondness towards a person, towards you- I was scared that I would wake up one day to the announcement of your death-- I was afraid of the guards-- what they would have done to you-- I was scared.. I was scared to lose you like how I’ve lost father-- I couldn’t lose you-- not you, too-- I can give away everything-- I’ll cast aside everything-- if it means you’ll stay--” and after many months of his pent up stress and anger, the young man’s will has finally shattered. Despite how strong he had been, how strong he tried to be, he had finally fallen apart, and what made the whole situation seem funny, was the fact the barbarian had been his final straw, his breaking point. The man he once loathed so much, the man he soon came to accept as one of his own. It was the first time Freed had begged another person. Not once has he ever begged for his mother to stop beating him, to stop the abuse. Not once has he ever talked back, but today, he had cast his status aside, and pleaded desperately for Sage to stay by his side.
The kiss was heated, and tagged along was the faint taste of the blood upon the duke’s lips. The barbarian’s lips were chapped, but within this kiss, the duke found comfort abd distraction. He found a way to escape. What would father say if he had seen him in such a manner? Surely.. He’d think his son was disgusting..?
”They should know. They should have known when you’ve done everything to nurse me back to health--” the young duke refused to comply. How could they not notice the things Sage had done? How could they not notice that he was not obliged to stay, to take care of Freed for such a long while. The barbarian was kind. He was not as terrifying as they made him out to be, and the duke once pondered if Sage had left, because Freed never once stepped in to stop the rumours. But despite how unwilling he was to let the rumours continue, or possibly even worsen after the outburst he had today, the words Sage spoke had been the truth. He couldn’t force his beliefs on anyone else, but he’d also believe that the newly hired maids had too much free time on their hands. It made him feel even angrier that he had to let this situation go. ”I don’t care. I don’t care what they think- They have no right to speak ill of you- It’s unacceptable. I cannot accept others speak ill of those dear to m--” and he paused. Dear? Sage was dear to him? His eyes widened, and he fell silent. Utterly, completely. The barbarian’s fingers grazed across his skin, pushing his loose locks away from his tear stained face, revealing the pair of cheeks that had swelled up ever so slightly from the hard impact he had received. They were bruised, but it wasn’t anything too unbearable. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t stand. That bit of pain was nothing in comparison to Sage’s disappearance. For a long while, he remained silent while the barbarian held him within his arms. For the longest time, his slender fingers would clench tightly against Sage’s tattered clothing. Only then, had he noticed the faint scent of blood. His eyes widened, and worry clouded his features. Was that why he had disappeared? Was that why he had left without a word? Had something happened?
”You.. smell of blood and river water.” he stated, and paused. ”H-..Had something happened to you-..? Why do you have bruises on your skin- Where have you been-- Sage-..? Please don’t lie to me..” he couldn’t stand another lie. Freed was tired, and honestly, his fragile emotions would shatter upon knowing he had been lied to once more. But before he could interrogate further, his breath hitched when Sage’s tongue grazed across his wounded palm. It hadn’t hurt, but there had been a numbing feeling upon his wound. He had been gentle, tender, and the sight alone would seem to come off just a tad.. erotic. Then again, it wasn’t as if Freed would understand what ‘lust’ had felt like. His cheeks were dusted a light shade of pink, and the colour deepened further when his eyes had locked onto the pair of storm grey ones. They had been so sincere as he spoke, and Freed would falter once more. Everyday, everytime, despite knowing they were only words spoken, the young duke would falter when his eyes met such a tender smile. Freed was quiet while Sage made his promise. His expression had been blank, yet hesitant, but by the time he was done talking, Freed would look at him with a pair of eyes that would glisten with unshed tears. His lips would curve up into a relieved smile, albeit faint. He wouldn’t answer, nor speak a word. He’d reach his hands up to cup the barbarian’s cheek, and he’d bring his lips to his own for an affectionate kiss. There was not much of a reason behind that gesture, but it could be just a tad misleading. Perhaps.. Sage’s strange behaviour has begun to rub off on him? Perhaps.. the duke has developed feelings he had been unaware of all along. Freed didn’t know what he felt, but there was one thing he knew. It was that he had felt a sense of relief that was undescribable. A sense of relief that left a warmhearted feeling within his chest. It was the first time someone had been so sincere. It was the first time he was told they wouldn’t leave. It was all he ever wanted throughout those years. Just.. what had been so hard to get what he wanted..? Wasn’t it only a simple gesture..? Or perhaps.. he was fated to meet this barbarian?
”My.. heart-..?” he paused, ”..what for?” but perhaps, Sage already had his heart. He had his heart the moment he was set on caring for the young duke. He had his heart the moment he lulled him to sleep whenever he was awoken by his nightmares. He had his heart the moment the young duke first saw him smile. He had his heart long ago, but there was no need to know that. ”I’ll give it to you-- I’ll give anything to you-- anything you ask of me-” he answered, frantically, almost. He had panicked ever so slightly, afraid that the barbarian would disappear if his words were to be misunderstood. ”..Sage.” Freed called out with a voice that trembled with emotions. He had felt relieved, and comfort, but at the same time, he also felt fear, but that was alright. That was fine. The young duke had chose to believe in Sage, for one time. Just one more time. ”Thank you.. T--Thank you for not leaving me-- It was honestly-- all I’ve ever wanted-.. I-.. Thank you- Thank you,.. Sage--”
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Out.Of.Crocodiles: sorry for shitty post orz
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Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 8:38 pm
 Year 202
Epsilon Empire of Drosselmeyer
Second Year into the Reign of Emperor Azazel
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