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 Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 2:53 pm
I love my sister. Growing up we had a very chaotic and bad relationship, but when we became adults we became best friends.
She dealt with some mental health and sleep medication addiction in college, and has worked really hard with herself and with doctors to get better. I see a big difference in her now.
BUT I'm really annoyed and a little angry with her right now and I dont know how to handle it. I want to be supportive, but she totally deflects any support I try to give her. I cant parent her, or fix her.
Right now, she is sleeping upwards to 18 hours a day. Usually she sleeps all day long. She only gets up around 7 or 8 and thats if we demand her to get up. She just adopted a little kitten, and I'm angry that she is sleeping all the time and not taking care of him or bonding with him like I think is appropriate. I worry about her cats being closed in her room all day long.
She tells us that she feels like she doesnt deserve people to care about her, but the way she behaves doesnt really imply that to me. Talking to her feels like talking to a brick wall. She only says the things she needs to say in order for us to leave her alone as fast as possible. She never remembers anything we tell her. She doesnt even remember the things she tells us. She is always getting out of conversations and plans. When we invite her to do things with us, spend time with us, because we love her and care about her it just glances off her.
For christmas I worked really hard to get her presents she would love and feel loved. My mom gave her a lot of money to go christmas shopping, but she only went twice and because I asked her to take me. She only got me things that I asked her for directly, and a game she wanted to play for herself but she said she felt bad buying for herself so she asked me to play it and tell her if it was good. She got mom and dad like, two things each. I know that she had about 150$ left for presents that she didnt spend. I was totally broke after christmas.
If she felt like she didnt deserve people caring about her, than I feel like she would appreciate us reaching out to her instead of acting like she resents it or that we are annoying. Her headphones are always on even when she is out in the living room with the family.
I love her a lot, and I dont want to resent her. I wish she was so avoidant of the people who love her. I dont feel like I'm appreciated, or that she appreciates our parents. sad
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Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:56 pm
Perhaps she feels like a burden to her loved ones. She wants them to live a life as though she doesn't exist so that they would fulfill whatever goal they have. Have you tried just sitting quietly in the same room with her? No words, no devices or objects to distract yourself, just.. being there in the same space with her quietly content?
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