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 Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:51 pm
Um ok here it is... My friend used to go out with this guy lets call him Z see now my friend dumped Z and Z and I were friends untill we both discovered we both have strong feelings for each other, and now we are together. My friend is sooo pissed off, she is ignoring me completely and saying rude things behind my back. The thing is she dumped him so realy, she shouldnt care but she does! What to do!?!
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Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:40 pm
Well, your first line of defense should be to talk to this friend. Let her know that you like Z, and you still like her, and your relationship with Z won't jeopardize your frienship any. Make sure she understands that he is a guy you like, and she's done with him, and shouldn't have any grudge. If she still has feelings for him, you will need to deal with that.
There is also a chance she is just over-reacting and things will get better in time.
If this doesn't work (and hopefully it will), you might need to consider choosing between your friend and Z. You will need to decide which one is more reliable and the closer friend, and you might only have room for one if they can't tolerate each other.
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 5:29 pm
It is natural for your friend to feel a little upset or even angry about you getting with her ex-boyfriend. Especailly if you were friends with both her and him during the duration of their relationship.
You may want to try and talk to her for she may feel that you two betrayed her or she may draw conclusions that the two of you already had interest in one another while she and him were dating. Should she not be willing to talk though and refuse to have much of anything to do with you then I will not lie to you, she may be lost to you.
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:36 pm
I don't know about you, but I'd also be hella pissed if my friend went out with my ex, even if I was the one dumping him.
I think it's this little mechanism within your friend--perhaps she's still in denial with the fact that he's completely over her now. I think people like to flatter themselves and make themselves feel good, so while he's over her, she's kind of thinkin', "If he had strong feelings for me, he wouldn't let me go, ever." Does that make any sense whatsoever? If it doesn't, I apologize, as my brain is fried right now.
To your friend, I believe the line has been drawn-- "Me, or HIM." And you chose him, so she'd feel betrayed, as Demina said.
Have a chat with her about this. While I do not believe sacrificing everything on the altar of friendship, if she's been a good friend to you, then I would re-think things a bit about going out with her ex. Perhaps if you talk, you could work out a compromise.
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Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 4:35 pm
Confront... talk... and if she doesn't listen to you then screw it don't talk to her. Give her the same respect she gives you lol!
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Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:18 pm
Ok, thank you all!!! smile
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 4:06 pm
i dont know why people get mad like that but im gonna say it like this "why is she flirting with him,i mean i know i broke up with him but it was becuase i could not deal with him any more...i still like him..."
this is just somthing my friend said to me when she broke up with her bf
i am not saying you are wrong but thats just how some people think...
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